A Sad Day In The Kingdom Of Lucite
Morning-shift strippers will have to reach for the heights of elegance without the help of lucite this morning, because every pair of exquisite plastic heels are filling with fogs of sorrow over their Empress getting wrongfully arrested for allegedly committing an act of domestic abuse upon her boy toy Lorenzo Homburger (that last name is a second "O" away from being John Travolta's favorite food item)!
TMZ reports that the most beautiful being who was created when an angel's pre-cum drop fell onto a crystal flower, Shauna Sand, and Lorenzo Homburger were both put into handcuffs early this morning in Los Angeles after the cops got a call about a loud fight. When the cops arrived, they noticed fight marks on Lorenzo's body and immediately took both of them into custody. Shauna Sand was released from local imprisonment after her father Zeus sent Pegasus down with an ivory pot of gold coins. Lorenzo is still in custody.
In the words of Lindsay Lohan after a coke dingle falls out of her nose during a drug test: IT'S A SET-UP! Obama needs to drop everything and use all of resources to investigate this international emergency! Shauna Sand only has graceful bones in her body, so she couldn't possibly have a violent one. Could a gardenia's freshly bloomed petal cause damage to human skin? Absolutely not! This is the same thing (Shauna's lawyers can use that in court). Besides, the Empress of Lucite takes domestic violent very seriously. She said so herself! Need I remind you?
You can ALWAYS trust a crystallized deity who speaks out against domestic violence while wearing white lingerie in a milkshake shop.
UPDATE: TMZ says that Homoburger is actually Shauna's husband. She threatened him with a divorce, they got into a fight, she locked herself in her bedroom, he broke in and she sprayed him with mace. That's how most fairy tales end.
(Image via Heyman Hustle)
What a dumb bitch
One word: COCAINE
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Exhibit A: proving the correlation bet. the larger the implants = the lower the I.Q.
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Domestic abuse to add to the famewhoring, cradle-robbing and amateur porn. I'd say "her daughters must be so proud", but I doubt that they take anything she does seriously anymore. It must be like being raised by one of their Bratz dolls, but the dolls would probably make more repsonsible parents. They must be marking the days off on on their Bieber wall calendars when they can either declare emancipation or move out for college.
God, I love her voice! This was truly what the Blessed Mother sounded like.....
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"Oh, really? Did she like it?"
"I just love being a whore - you meet the most fascinating paint salesmen and curtain-rod manufacturers!"
"Revenge is sweet and not fattening"
-Alfred Hitchcock-
The funniest part of the video was when Shauna said after the 2nd, 3rd, 4th time of abuse. 3rd or 4th? WTF ! ! ! Once may be forgivable and if the sex is that good, maybe, a 2nd time. And don't start with violence is not funny stuff. The way shauna was talking was funny to me.
Shauna is holding on to those Frankenboobs for dear life. She knows they'd take any chance to jump off her chest and run away screaming. I don't blame them. She's reached hideous.
"Seymour!! You said you'd never get married until you bought me an iron lung!"
"Homoburger is actually Shauna's husband. She threatened him with a divorce, they got into a fight, she locked herself in her bedroom, he broke in and she sprayed him with mace."
OK, then never mind.
His name is actually Laurent.
I had never heard her speak before today. I can now say that Shauna Sand is clearly a genius. A perfect example of a "triple threat"...Beauty, brains and Lucite.
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"And people try to tell me that God wasn't high on the good shit when he made this place" -by angel_i
Maybe a box of Ferrero Rocher's and a Baccara record will console her ...
MK, I thought Travolta's favourite food item was "himburgers." Or is my naivete showing again?
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If the kids are still alive at the end of the day, I've done my job.
Submitted by guest on Thu, 05/19/2011 - 8:24am.
Her bf's name is Lorenzo & Lorenzo Lamas just married someone named Shauna. Okey dokey then.
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Yeah. Exactly.
And his last girlfriend was named something close and looked just like her. They really are a bunch of teens dressed up as old people. *angel says as she snickers at the name "Homburger" lol*
♥ Threadkilla!
Pose Like a Chola:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VUWN3wBUGr8
TMZ is saying she sprayed him with mace...I bet this all can be traced back to a massive coke/booze habit. Where is she getting the money to pay for her men and her lifestyle ? I can't imagine she makes that much whoring for rich old guys...well you never know.
God, she's ugly...
You can ALWAYS trust a crystallized deity who speaks out against domestic violence while wearing white lingerie in a milkshake shop.
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Right? I know I do!
♥ Threadkilla!
Pose Like a Chola:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VUWN3wBUGr8
Submitted by little_rascal on Thu, 05/19/2011 - 10:02am.
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I watched the tape, and all I can say is Shawna needs to consider vaginal rejuvenation.
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Ewww, really? So I guess when you say she 'pocketed' the money, she really stuffed it in her ham wallet. :P
Submitted by islandgirl on Thu, 05/19/2011 - 8:49am.
Submitted by OurMissC on Thu, 05/19/2011 - 8:47am.
Is this the same guy from her sex tape?
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Gawd only knows, MissC. All of her Eurotrash pieces look interchangeable to me.
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The guy in the sex tape was her French boy-toy Antoine Berlier. They parted soon after the tape and he accused her of pocketing the profits. I watched the tape, and all I can say is Shauna needs to consider vaginal rejuvenation.
don't these penal system jamokes know that when you separate the goddess (Shauna) from her source of power (lucite heels) she will wither and die? unless that's the idea.
I can totally see her flipping out with all kinds of drama. I agree with everyone else; her poor daughters with this mess as their mother.
www.theanimalrescuesite.com - Click everyday to help animals in shelters
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Fucking nutty bitch.
where were her impressionable young daughters while all this was going down...
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Charisma, Uniqueness, Nerve and Talent...
Her daughters.....I just feel so badly for them.
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I'm D.M.C. in the place to be
I go to St. John's University
And since kindergarten I acquired the knowledge
And after 12th grade I went straight to college
She always chooses skinny Eurotrash she can whoop. That Rebecca Black could whoop.
Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Thu, 05/19/2011 - 8:38am.
Elegance flows silently in the night, whispers of violence sway in the red light district, tattered breasts take flight.
*snapping my fingers and hitting bongos*
Yeah man.
Ahahaha jacko!! She is one freaky muppet looking bitch.
I'd love to see this bobbleheaded toothpick bitch without makeup on.
What a disgusting woman.
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you seem spritely.
watch me rant: http://www.youtube.com/user/gineriella
I pity her daughters. She's one more reason for me to vote in favor or eugenics.
She should be put away for the emotional abuse she is dishing out to her daughters. As usual MK picks the perfect picture to explain the situation
I don't know if MK is goofin' or hungover, but the guy's real name is Laurent. He's been in a commercial relationship with her for at least a year.
http://heymanhustle.craveonline.com/articles/news/102864-shauna-sands-pr...
Her face looks like a glazed donut!
"NO Under-Crack-Jack, NO Under-Crack-Jack!"
It sounds like a song to me.
*chanting as always*
Submitted by OurMissC on Thu, 05/19/2011 - 8:47am.
Is this the same guy from her sex tape?
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Gawd only knows, MissC. All of her Eurotrash pieces look interchangeable to me.
Is this the same guy from her sex tape?
So we should all pat our taints to let it know that we care. - MK
*curtsies with no undercrackers*
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"Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
You fucking cunt." ~ the delicate Sweetas 04/21/11
Are we sure that isn't her grandson instead of her boyfriend? Bitch looks OLD!!!!!!!
Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Thu, 05/19/2011 - 8:38am.
tattered breasts? lol
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"Can't you just be satisfied with if I'm wrong about god, I'll burn in hell?"
Shauna Sand was released from local imprisonment after her father Zeus sent Pegasus down with an ivory pot of gold coins. Lorenzo is still in custody.
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LMAO,
She's well on her way to be the next Janice Dickinson
*swoons @ Jack's eloquent prose*
"as am I..."
Tattered breasts, jacko? HAHAHA!!!
Such a wonderful and stable role model for her kids.
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Sit on my face and tell me that you love me...
Elegance flows silently in the night, whispers of violence sway in the red light district, tattered breasts take flight.
_____________________________________________
"Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
You fucking cunt." ~ the delicate Sweetas 04/21/11
Submitted by guest on Thu, 05/19/2011 - 8:24am.
Her bf's name is Lorenzo & Lorenzo Lamas just married someone named Shauna. Okey dokey then.
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LOL Guess they both have a type.
Wait -- she was beating on HIM? Aha. Probably caught him with the pool boy.
Doesnt she have kids to take care of or pretend like she's taking care of
www.theinfamouslife.com
www.twitter.com/so_infamous
Submitted by guest on Thu, 05/19/2011 - 8:24am.
Her bf's name is Lorenzo & Lorenzo Lamas just married someone named Shauna. Okey dokey then.
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I know. It's too early in the morning this shit. I'm going back to bed.
I hope her mugshot was Sans Fards.
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twerk those stumps!
I love a woman who's all class.
Hope she has a pair of Ho Heels to match her jail jumpsuit.
Submitted by daisy100 on Tue, 05/17/2011 - 9:41am.
Daisy was wondering why Raul talks in the third person
Raul doesn't always talk about himself in 3rd person but when he does I do.
Her bf's name is Lorenzo & Lorenzo Lamas just married someone named Shauna. Okey dokey then.
"as am I..."