Elisabetta Canalis Will Be A Wife One Day
Elisabetta Canalis has lasted muuuuuuuch longer than the expiration date some hos stamped onto her nalgas after she started dating George Clooney two years ago. Does this mean that George Clooney is actually going to break his vow to bachelorhood and make Elisabetta Canalis his second wife? Naw. It probably just means that Elisabetta Canalis has the shit that makes George Clooney's prostate quiver. Straponmatized. But Elisabetta is getting bold and told the Italian magazine Chi that she knows she'll be married one day.
Elisabetta also summoned a Clooney side-eye by saying that all that talk about George being allergic to wedding bands is ancient history. As Sarah Larson prepared Elisabetta's bunk in the halfway house for George's ex pieces, she said this to the magazine:
"Whenever I see my picture in a magazine I know what is being written. They all say that I spend my time organizing parties and that my boyfriend does not want to marry me and be with me anymore. My boyfriend has not given an interview on his private life since 1999 - everything that you read is just a rehash of stuff that has been written in the past. I am a firm believer in marriage, in the future I will be married, but for the time being I am happy as I am. I don't need anything to confirm how happy I am."
I want the head juror in Casey Anthony's case to announce that she's not guilty and wait until Nancy Grace explodes into a million pieces before saying "PSYCHE! GUILTY!", but that doesn't mean it's going to happen. If Elisabetta wants to get married then she's barking up the wrong peen. The chance of Rosemary Clooney rising from the dead to marry Elisabetta Canalis in the middle of a unicorn forest is likelier than George Clooney marrying her ass.