That Was Very Uncool Of You, Jen, Very Uncool
Jennifer Aniston has long been the go-to lonely miserable-ling and "Well, at least I'm not her" poster child for a bitches who can't get a man, but it's a new day! Jennifer Aniston is accused of being a homewrecking slut whore who used her jaws of life vagina to snatch a man right out from under another woman's body!
If you need Maddox, you can find him in the fetal position, fearing an uncertain future and contemplating the meaning of everything. If his arch rival Jennifer Aniston can successfully pull claimed dick to her side, does this mean that black is no longer Maddox's signature color or that he really thinks knives aren't not toys? June 14, 2011 is the day that Maddox either begins a pilgrimage to find the truth, or it's the day that his thoughts of confusion turn into bubbling rage and he uses that to lead his child army in a battle to take over the world and control destiny! Maddox Khan! But I digress...
There's been talk that Jennifer's new piece Justin Theroux barely broke up with his girlfriend of 14 years Heidi Bivens. Well, Heidi's rep says that "barely" should be bolded, capitalized, italicized and vacuum packed in uncoolness, because Heidi moved out of their apartment only 2 weeks ago. Jennifer and Justin met on the set of Wanderlust back in October, but they turned their relationship from co-workers into co-fuckers last month. A source says that Justin told Heidi he was just friends with Jennifer, but then finally came clean. Heidi's rep said this to Page Six:
"Heidi and Justin have been together for 14 years. They met when she was 20 years old and he 24, and yes, she just moved out of their home last weekend. She has no comment."
A friend of Justin's said that the love between he and Heidi was over long before Jennifer came along. The friend also says that shit is moving fast with Jen and they are practically living together full-time.
Since Jennifer learned from the best, this kind of ho shit behavior from her shouldn't surprise me, but it does! Go, Jen! Get your evil whore on! And we all know what happens next. Jen and Justin will "play house" in a spread for W Magazine, Heidi will call it uncool and then they'll adopt an orphan from Cambodia and call him UMaddox. And please tell me UMaddox turns out to be Maddox's long-lost brother. I can already hear the galloping from Maddox Khan's child army in the distance....
If they lived together for 6 years, and were on/off for 14 yrs, isn't that considered common law marriage by CA standards?
Jen is a total idiot for picking this one, as soon as he fully heals from this past relationship, he'll either be plowing the town, find "The One", or realize she was his soulmate and go back to her. I've seen it happen so many times.
Submitted by catholicschoolgirl on Tue, 06/14/2011 - 10:26pm.
Smells like a BCoop/Squinty Z move - he's using her to boost his profile.
_______________________________________________
Bingo! And hers - she has a movie coming out in which she plays against her "type" and obviously wants some extra attention for it. All this "Jen is now a homewrecker/OMG she's smart enough to attract Writer/Producer It Boy Theroux!" (the latter being patently untrue as she doesn't have the sense God give a lemon) doesn't hurt either. She and Cameron Diaz have to whip up SOME interest in their aging asses.
I see this as a sort of bad-karma pay-it-forward sitch--like an evil version of the traveling pants. To get over what's happened to her, just as JA did, Heidi will next have to break up the relationship of someone else.
Trigger Happy, Giant mobile phone compilation
Submitted by Morbidosity on Tue, 06/14/2011 - 10:13pm.
Submitted by Casey Anthony: "It's too bad Morbidosity can't get a hottie like Jose. The only men she feels are already drained of life and waiting to have the life drained out of them. Oh wait...you do that to everyone"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Submitted by Morbidosity: "Casey.. Casey...Casey. Your as transparent as glass, I know who you *really* and PS: your jabs at me about my late husband no longer bother me much. You could only hope to have a man as great as he was. He died doing a very honorable job, saving a dumbass similar to YOU.
As for my job.. my education (that you sorely lack) will prevent me from ever having to do menial jobs such as yours."
==========================
What the fuck is this shit? Is this for real? Someone busting on someone's husband? Or is this all one person, just like how, according to Fancy Malone, I'm Stoney and DirtyWhoreMouth? All I know is that I got some good stuff, all excited to shoot the shit with some funny folks because the comments on here rival and often surpass what I want to watch on Netflix, even a good book. And then Mr. Mercury is gone, and I feel a terrific bummer. But then again, maybe M.K. is all of you, and I've just never woken up from that one time at band camp I did lsd days (good times!). Or maybe dlisted is run by an illuminati, with codes names and stuff. Or maybe Morbid and Casey are high friends and this is just the way they talk with one another. Sads all around.
Smells like a BCoop/Squinty Z move - he's using her to boost his profile.
__________________________
Check out dlisted musical talent:
http://www.reverbnation.com/alisoncecilejohns
Poor Maniston is so desperate for a man she will screw anyone that bats and eyelash at her.
Apparently, the truth is that they lived together for 6 yrs and were on and off for 14 yrs. ON and OFF. So maybe they were off again when he met or hooked up with Aniston. She's obviously keeping mum on the subject and not throwing daggers at her ex or Jen ... yet.
I'm just waiting for Aniston to release a statement saying : I would NEVER sleep with a man that is spoken for. My name is NOT Angelina Jolie. And Justin is nothing like my ex husband.
"Submitted by boston61 on Tue, 06/14/2011 - 9:22am.
Why would she "date" him for 14 years. Crazy. You date someone for 6 months girls! He won't marry Jennifer. He will marry someone to have children.
"
Six months!? And then what? You're supposed to get engaged? SIX MONTHS?
That's absurd.
Btw, why are we still calling women "sluts" for doing what men do? Is this 1856?
14 years?!?! That's longer than Aniston's first marriage. Damn why didn't this Heidi chick lock it down?
Submitted by REDMOND on Tue, 06/14/2011 - 4:32pm.
He played that guy and he played another guy Carrie uses to make Big jealous at some hot, young, and under 30 party. No idea why they had him on twice.
Wasn't he once on Sex and the City as the write Carrie was dating (season 2) who would cum before they even started????
Gaaaaaag me. He's fug.
Guys rarely leave until they have another woman set up and ready to take care of them.
==================================
Submitted by Lucifer_Sam on Tue, 06/14/2011 - 11:14am.
He must have co-dependency issues.
Coming out of a 14-year relationship, dude, take a fucking deep breath before jumping into another one.
That guy is pretty attractive when he shaves.
Anyway, Jen has been in a ton of relationships since her divorce. I think it’s safe to say she won’t be getting married or having kids any time soon. Every relationship she is in lasts a few months and then it’s over. Sometimes they start up again, but then they end again. I would be shocked if this turned into anything serious.
I think the fact that Jennifer is friends with Chelsea Handler isn’t helping matters much. Chelsea is pretty open about how she never wants any kids. If Jen wanted kids before then I doubt she does anymore.
I think Jennifer just likes dating around. I can’t say I blame her. She is rich, famous, and could get almost anyone she wants. She has already been married. Maybe she doesn’t think she is missing much if she never gets married again.
His ex girlfriend looks like she has a case of the sads. I'm not seeing a beauty queen, as a matter of fact , she looks as if she got dumped 2 seconds before the photo was taken!
Nah, Jen Hens will never have to eat their words. Aniston is NOT and never will be a Jolie. You can bet money that this guys relationship was over a long time ago and he was probably allowing the ex g/f to stay in the house until she could get on her feet. Notice how it says , "she moved out". If it was her home, she wouldnt be leaving it.
If it's true that he WAS involved .. you can bet the next headline you read is that Aniston and him broke up. But of course the loons would spin it that he dumped her vs her kicking him to the curb.
Common sense would tell you that Aniston would not be going public with this guy if she knew he had a girlfriend...she would get slaughtered for it in the press. Also, I think it would be unheard of for her to take up with someone who is missing a "sensitivity chip" (as she called it) like her ex.
Are you joking? That girl looks like a hipster My Little Pony.
Submitted by Cara on Tue, 06/14/2011 - 1:05pm.
Sounds like midlife crisis action on Theroux's part. Though his ex is a lot cuter than Aniston.
-----------------------------------------------
"I have a very poor way of concealing my dislike of people and/or things." -- Evil_Cupcake's Mom
I DO hope so, because then all the self-righteous Jen Hens will have to eat their words. Jen is and has always been just as bad as her ex-husband and Holie, but because she's a blond horse-faced "good girl," nobody says anything.
*********
I'm here to kick ass and drink tea. And I'm all out of tea.
Next time try not being a "girlfriend" for 14 f'ing years stupid bitch. That should help.
Angie's gonna plunge another needle down her throbbing monsterveins in celebration of Jen's indiscretion!
---------------------------------------------
"You sound not naturally beautiful"
Fancy's Big Surprise: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n3r5BLdqxig
Fancy's Big Surprise Part 2: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PY4we9Ivg9M
Sounds like midlife crisis action on Theroux's part. Though his ex is a lot cuter than Aniston.
Submitted by queenoftheniles on Tue, 06/14/2011 - 10:48am.
Wasn't there an old SNL episode about Palimony?
Maybe--not sure. It was a big deal back then, when Marvin Mitchelson sued for it on behalf of Lee Marvin's long-term GF.
Submitted by Cowjam on Tue, 06/14/2011 - 12:17pm.
I was thinking Monty Python as well, but that scene in the Life Of Brian where the women wear fake beards to be allowed to watch a public stoning.
Submitted by Whamo on Tue, 06/14/2011 - 11:54am.
Submitted by mslewis on Tue, 06/14/2011 - 9:25am.
I have a feeling Heidi Bevins is not worried!! She knows this is all just a publicity stunt for that movie he's in with JenJen and after it bombs Justin will move back in with her and they will live happily ever after! This is just typical Aniston sh!t.
*********
Typical loon rant.
===============================================
Thank you, I was going to say the same thing but now that you've brought it up there is nothing more PATHETIC than these fucking loons that somehow think everything Jen does is a conspiracy by her publicist. I'm surprised she didn't mention how she's trying to copy everything Skankalina does because Junkie bitch is God and Jen is a turd on God's shoe.
---
Yeah, because hating on St. Angie in every single Jen post is NOT loonyism *rolls eyes*
Just admit it. Both sides are crazy and you deserve each other.
Hah, hah, and fucking hah!
--
You got a lot of money, but you can't afford the freeway
How can these 2 beautiful women find this man attractive? When I look at him, all I see is "No one expects the Spanish Inquisition!"
*peeks in; the air in here feels like "NO SHE'S A HOMEWRECKER! WHO YOU CALLING A HOMEWRECKER?!" wars are about to begin*
Can someone check JJs site to see if they are rousing the hens/saint-looney troops, or whatever, for battle against us?
*nevermind; exits*
Hahahaha, let the loonies come.
If you can't beat 'em, join 'em. Although 14 years does deserve a breather.
---------------------------------------
What would Jesus do for a Klondike Bar?
Submitted by mslewis on Tue, 06/14/2011 - 9:25am.
I have a feeling Heidi Bevins is not worried!! She knows this is all just a publicity stunt for that movie he's in with JenJen and after it bombs Justin will move back in with her and they will live happily ever after! This is just typical Aniston sh!t.
*********
Typical loon rant.
===============================================
Thank you, I was going to say the same thing but now that you've brought it up there is nothing more PATHETIC than these fucking loons that somehow think everything Jen does is a conspiracy by her publicist. I'm surprised she didn't mention how she's trying to copy everything Skankalina does because Junkie bitch is God and Jen is a turd on God's shoe.
I hate loons their delusional conspiratorial rants.
There is always a new guy everytime she has to promote a movie.....yawn she needs a new PR move. And if this is true I guess the JA fans can't act all high and migthy anymore though am sure some will make excuses for her.
What's "uncool" is that this is the guy she snatched away from from another woman (if that's true) He gives me the creeps, please tell me this look is for a movie (the beard, ugh) but even if it is what is the excuse for the clothing? Russell Brand he is not.
Submitted by MadgesVadge: "What concerns me is that Jen is dating a guy who just got off a 14 year relationship. He probably has lots of issues to sort out and is likely unprepared to be a good partner to anyone right now. Not too smart a move on her part."
*************
Normally, I would think the same thing too. That's what I always said about Pitt. How can you leave a 7 year relationship with Aniston and jump feet first into another relationship - with children - with a woman you barely know. But it seems to have worked out for him ... He was never single for long ..ever... juliette, gwyneth, jen, jolie... talk about some co-dependency shit going on there.
Submitted by mslewis on Tue, 06/14/2011 - 9:25am.
I have a feeling Heidi Bevins is not worried!! She knows this is all just a publicity stunt for that movie he's in with JenJen and after it bombs Justin will move back in with her and they will live happily ever after! This is just typical Aniston sh!t.
*********
Typical loon rant.
On what earth do you live that a boyfriend of 14 yrs would leave his g/f to be a "pretend boyfriend" to someone else? OMG !! You guys give Aniston's PR firm way too much credit. I didnt see Clive Owen pretending to be her boyfriend to sell Derailed. Didnt see Owen Wilson dumping Kate Hudson to sell Marley & Me. Nope. Does Justin Bateman have a g/f , cause we didnt see them pretending to be lovers to sell their movie together. I guess Pitt just left Jen so him and Jolie could sell MAMS !lmao. He was suppose to come back to Jen but then Jolie got knocked up...oops. Is this the kind of fairytale that you want everyone to believe?
He must have co-dependency issues.
Coming out of a 14-year relationship, dude, take a fucking deep breath before jumping into another one.
Submitted by Evil_Cupcake on Tue, 06/14/2011 - 10:56am.
I second this =)
And I don't want to marry either.
back on topic. this story is trying to make something out of nothing. they broke up and she stayed in the house, that's all it's damn well saying. i don't see an overlap even.
the contrast is supposed to be with what angie did and it fails. jen and brad were and item when brad started poking sewer holes.
-just an angry guy with a bag of (raul duke's) dicks
Submitted by boston61 on Tue, 06/14/2011 - 9:22am.
Why would she "date" him for 14 years. Crazy. You date someone for 6 months girls! He won't marry Jennifer. He will marry someone to have children.
*********************************
How do you know he wants kids. Like some women (including myself), there are many men out there who do not want to be daddies. I realize that people find the idea of not wanting children absolutely scandalous, but oddly enough, there are both men and women who couldn't care care less about having a traditional family. Plus it isn't the dark ages where women who are older cannot have children . Adoption is a viable solution for women who cannot have a baby the expected conventional way.
fuck this shit with the be all end all being marriage. what the fuck.
if being together just isn't good enough then you ain't good enough to be with and good muthafuckinriddance.
-just an angry guy with a bag of (raul duke's) dicks
Jen just doesnt seem the type to intentionally set out to destroy someone else's relationship especially since she was burned so badly in her marriage. I would think she's evolved much more than her nemesis and believes in karma.
A 14 year relationship and they NEVER married? Sounds pretty serious. pfft. Seriously though, it's sad when you're the last to know that your relationship is over. I'm not buying that this woman was blind sided. There had to have been cracks to begin with. Atleast he didnt break vows and get on national TV and claim that he wanted to have babies with her while at the same time boning his co-star. just sayin.
Rusty, wasn't there an old SNL episode about Palimony? "Jane, you ignorant slut"?
---
I CAN'T
Submitted by But.Seriously.Folks on Tue, 06/14/2011 - 9:35am.
Bet Heidi wishes she had that paper now. How else you gonna get that money?!?! Hmmm, depends on where they lived and what the laws are. Maybe there's some common law provision.
CA has PALIMONY!
Heidi: "I killed myself for that guy--making dresses. He told me that if I supported him till his career got off the ground, he'd share half of everything with me."
Justin: "No, I didn't! She's lying!"
Heidi: *sobbing*
Commissioner: "Judgment for petitioner Bivens."
Submitted by snowpiece on Tue, 06/14/2011 - 9:34am.
good for the Blues Traveler guy for losing all that weight!
hahaha. Lap band?
I wonder if Heidi ever played the "Smell yo dick" song around Mr Bushy Beard
---
I CAN'T
Yawn, another fauxmance. He will fade into obscurity after their movie comes out. She seems so asexual to me. I don't think she has sex with anybody and she's super fine with that.
...My darling can't you see
My heart sounds just for you my dear...
hekki and mike, I agree.
BTW, I am not a Jennaloonie, I just think it is hilarious that Hotney is picking on her, when his heroine is that lip synching Hillbilly who doesn't dance anymore, yet is going to tour and rip people off of their money.
*********************************************
I thank you for the kindness, and the times when you got tough
And Papa, I don't think I said "I love you" near enough
6/1942-7/2010
No one has ever asked JA to put her shoes back on for stinking up the plane.....hahahahahah
say whatever you want Hotney, Britney is trash and an embarrassment. Maybe she can go back to Japan and have some more fish over there (in Africa).
*********************************************
I thank you for the kindness, and the times when you got tough
And Papa, I don't think I said "I love you" near enough
6/1942-7/2010
Also, (I told you bitches I would haunt this thread with my relationship wisdom!) if you got together with someone when you're 20, chances are you've outgrown them 14 years later.
I firmly believe that your 20s are the time to try all kinds of different things and sow some wild oats. Then when you're about 30ish you start looking for your life mate -- if that's what you decide you want.
Sometimes you do meet the person you want to spend your life with when you're 20, but that usually winds up as marriage and kids. I know people like that, and it's awesome but kind of rare.
Submitted by cripbabe on Tue, 06/14/2011 - 9:55am.
why is everybody but me surprised? for all the Angie Jo haters, that bitch may be crazy, but she hasn't slept with half of the men in Hollywood like Jeniston has.
_______________________________________
Oh brother! St. Angie's track record speaks for itself. Also, Pitt was not the first married man she fucked and probably not the last.
As far as JA goes, she's single and there's nothing linking her to any married men. If she were a man, who you even point out how many people she has supposedly slept with?
MANistin = Hulk Hogan with a side part
bitch has PYTHONS
tickets to the gun show JEN? family discount? bitch is twisted and satly like a months old pretzel
Submitted by mike: "Well, it sounds bad, but you don't know what Justin Theroux was telling Jen about the status of his relationship."
SO TRUE.
"A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort."
Sad News!
________________________________
online printers --- stickers printing