George Clooney Fired Elisabetta Canalis
Robot call girl Sarah Larson will finally get a roommate at the halfway house for George Clooney's ex-pieces, because he has kindly pink-slipped his girlfriend of 2 years Elisabetta Canalis. Cocktail waitress and Italian models/coke whores who know how to keep their mouth shuts to the media can form a line to the left for Elisabetta's replacement. George and Elisabetta issued this open goodbye letter to Entertainment Tonight about their break-up:
“We are not together anymore. It’s very difficult and very personal and we hope everyone can respect our privacy.”
If you looked into Elisabetta's eyes as she said the "respect our privacy" you'd see her blinking in Morse code: "Please respect my privacy since I obviously won't and will be giving interviews about this to anybody who waves a tape recorder at my mouth."
This is sad news, actually. Did I ever think that George Clooney would break his streak as an unmarried ho and actually make that stick of Cindy Crawford jerky his next wife? No. This is sad news, because a camera crew wasn't there to capture the priceless moment of George firing Elisabetta. There she was, standing outside of his villa and telling a reporter "I will be married one day and all my haters are just jealous that I will be walking down the aisle towards their screensaver and they won't!" as George Clooney's bodyguards carry her belongings out the front door and onto the back of a pick-up truck driven by her uncle.
Elisabetta signed her own walking papers as soon as she said the word "marriage." Whatever the opposite of a safe word is, George's is: MARRIAGE. Study up, whores, and learn from Elisabetta's mistake.
And here's George and Elisabetta having dinner near his villa just last week. Add a few swear words, a couple of security guards, a bag full of stolen office supplies and that's pretty much what it looked like when I get fired from my last job.
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According to impeccable sources at the NY Daily News (Yes, I know.) Elisabetta stormed out of their villa in high dudgeon cuz Georgie dumped her -- none of this mutual decision BS.
I don't think Georgie is hiding some big ole gay secret. I think he just doesn't want to be married, cuz he loves being single. That doesn't necessarily equate with 'gay'. Lots of hetero people stay single by choice and the older they get, the more they relish their independence. Maybe he doesn't need a 'deep and meaningful' relationship (with all the attendant obligations); he wants a beautiful woman to hang with and boink but does not want to have answer to her, regarding how he spends his time.
ETA: Isn't he living the male dream? (The one a lot won't admit to)
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Sexual intercourse began
In nineteen sixty-three
(which was rather late for me)
Between the end of the "Chatterley" ban
And the Beatles' first LP
Submitted by BelleBelle on Wed, 06/22/2011 - 12:02pm.
Submitted by Karen Flatts on Wed, 06/22/2011 - 11:56am.
Why is it that a ton of women raised in Italy tend to be conceited, pretentious, self-obsessed cunts while a ton of women of Italian heritage in the US are raised be dumped on and continuously cheated on by their conceited, pretentious, self-obsessed cunt of a man?
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Are you fucking serious?
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Did I fucking stutter?
Keep in mind I love the X-Files...
Elisabetta never said she and George were going to get married. She said she believed in marriage and that someday she would be and that she'd have children.
What if this is a planned breakup? She's sick of him not committing, he's feeling the pressure - by breaking up, he gets to start fresh with someone new and hold off the gay rumors for another few years. She gets the publicity, people wondering if she's going to talk and probably a super rich boyfriend who will marry her. They both already have jump-off people lined up.
She's been doing stupid shit since they started dating, I hardly think mentioning the M word once or twice will get him to dump her. He needs a pretty and dumb beard more than he cares what people think about what's coming out of her mouth.
He is totally GAY...STRAIGHT GAY (is the new GAY)!
Sometimes, when someone breaks your heart and/or your wallet and causes you a lot of trouble overall, you do not want to get into the mess again. Despite this, you still want the sex.
Marriage is a big fairy-tale anyway.
Team George
Bitch got fired
On to the next beard...
Submitted by zachhcaz on Wed, 06/22/2011 - 10:21am.
Don't forget to strip the copper wiring from the wall as you leave the manse, Elisabetta. Might be a while between paychecks.
LOL!! That was great!
Here's my [cynical-ass] take. Why would she commit harakiri by mentioning the "M" word?
It was probably pre-arranged to make it look like "Uh-oh, shouldn't have said that, you're going down!" But in reality it was the end of the arrangement. And I don't know if she'll blab -- maybe in the Italian press? Maybe not since it's GTC's second home.
As my late hubby used to say when leaving the bathroom, "NOW SERVING NUMBER NEXT!! NUMBER NEXT, PLEASE!!"
♥~~~♥~~~♥~~~♥~~~♥~~~♥~~~♥
elen sila lumen omentilmo-LOTR
Submitted by imk505 on Wed, 06/22/2011 - 2:12pm.
I can't wait for the day till George gets his heart broken by some hot piece. That's why I don't believe in this karma shit.
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That would be karmic but he always dates down like two rungs below his status. He never looks for anyone that demanding. If he's happy with bimbos, what's wrong with that?
I have the impression he doesn't "use" the women for anything but arm-candy; he doesn't pretend they have any future, he doesn't link them to whatever project he's working on.
Haven't read any comments. Just, whoa. She really looks like Cindy Crawford.
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George should just get some dogs.
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she just say shit to a magazine that it isnt true her boyfriend doesnt want to marry her.
HA! wrong, bye bitch.
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I do love that Nicolas Cage's idea of parenting is to get one of his goons to beat the baby powder right off of his son's face
I was just wondering about how much he has to pay to keep them quiet about his penchant for getting pegged with a big, fat, strap-on? Any guesses?
He rolled her over and spotted the 'used by' date on her arse.
TEAM BRAIN'S LIKE YOURS!!!!
He has been married. It lasted as long as Rock Hudson's marriage.
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Submitted by greeneggs on Wed, 06/22/2011 - 5:13pm.
I like George Clooney. I don't think he's gay. I do like him as an actor. And I think he cut her loose as soon as she started with the whole "marriage" thing.
Clooney doesn't want to get married. Not everyone does. People have a hard time believing that. We all think everyone wants to do what WE want to do, and can't accept that someone wants a different kind of life.
I'm sure he has a few more thirty something Cindy Crawford look-a-likes lined up.
George call me. My kid is grown and I don't want another one. Willing to quit my crappy job and travel all over with you. Promise to never ever say the word marriage. I won't get busted for selling coke to whores in Italy. I won't give interviews to the National Enquirier or People magazine about you. Unless you tell me to. I'm easy going and not bitchy :) You could do worse,think it over and call or text me any time.
I figured her contract was up when she started talking about marriage. She dropped the marriage bomb as a face saver for when it was announced that they were ovah. She can go back to slinging coke to party girls at Silvio Berlusconi's hookers and blow parties.
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Taking crazy things seriously is a serious waste of time."
— Haruki Murakami
Damn you guys are good. Wasn't it only a couple of weeks ago you all predicted that this chick was cancelled out? Seriously, do any of you play the lotto?
I like George Clooney. I don't think he's gay. I do like him as an actor. And I think he cut her loose as soon as she started with the whole "marriage" thing.
Clooney doesn't want to get married. Not everyone does. People have a hard time believing that. We all think everyone wants to do what WE want to do, and can't accept that someone wants a different kind of life.
I don't have children. Have no interest in having them. People also have a problem understanding this.
I hear Ashley Greene is available.
he's gay! let the gay rmors spke to 100%. contract must have ended....she had a good run..
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I whip it good!!!
No one can tame The Clooney.
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"Never eat more than you can lift." Miss Piggy
Submitted by Hekki on Wed, 06/22/2011 - 11:32am.
As my mother says: "If a man tells you he doesn't want commitment/marriage/kids, BELIEVE HIM".
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Been there; bought the t-shirt. Your mother is wise.
I don't think George is gay, I think he's seriously bisexual, and enjoys fucking these girls, but insists on alot of time to himself to fuck guys on the sly.
That's why he'll never get married.
He wants dick but he still wants pussy.
After all, he's our modern day Cary Grant.
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GERONIMO!
agirl: "Nah, it is probably in her contract to keep her mouf shut forevermore in exchange for the check in that envelope. Really, when she started talking publicly about marriage, she was in effect saying, "The term of my contract with Mr. Clooney is nearing its end date and will not be renewed." She was probably instructed to say exactly what she said, by GC's lawyer."
Yup. He has to keep the illusion of the ladies' man, lifetime bachelor thing going. It's been his bread and butter for a long time.
I got what you need Georgie, right here in my dresser drawer. I'll sign the contract if you sign the check. Ciao.
Isn't it obvious?
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Submitted by ba-buttons on Wed, 06/22/2011 - 10:33am.
Like there is any drama here. She's a beard, had a contract, 'nuf said.
That whole bit of George dumping the chicks when they want to get married is just a device to maintain the facade of "Hollywood bad boy and womanizer who can't be tamed".
I don't feel for him, what with him not being able to come out of the closet, as he is a pretty crappy actor. I get the sense he's a bitchy queen as well.
Where are the cot damn applications?
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'Those of you lucky enough to have your lives, take them with you. However, leave the limbs you've lost. They belong to me now'-BK
BLOODY GEORGE CLOONEY
MEDIOCRE ACTOR MEDIOCRE CAREER..YOU KNOW I WISHED THAT PIANO FELL ON HIM AND SQUISHED HIM LIKE FOR REAL IN THAT NESPRESSO AD..HE'S A MALE VERSION OF THAT SIMPERING WINING CUNT ANISTOPOULOS PLUS HE'S FUCKING GAY..OVER HEARING ABOUT
HIS RELATIONSHIP CRAP..MORE MAH-BOO PLEADE IN FUTURE MK.
Does it look like I've given up the meth?
Tevness.
Why all these bimbos say the "M" word I will never know.
It's like sticking a cross or a string of garlic in front of a vampire.
I guess since George likes them young, and at his age, he likes girls in their 30's the good ole biological clock starts ticking at some point.
He really needs to find someone who doesn't want kids and who has a serious career.
Oh, wait...then they wouldn't be able to travel with him everywhere and give up their whole lives for him.
Well, I'm sure he knows what he's doiong. He outlines the deal at the beginning of the relationship; if the chicks go off topic, he drops the ax.
Good for him.
He was probably getting sick of her, anyway.
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GERONIMO!
Submitted by Wood Dragon on Wed, 06/22/2011 - 2:05pm.
Submitted by Sweetas on Wed, 06/22/2011 - 12:25pm.
LMAO! You think you know me, that's cute. Oh and Mr. Intellectual, the plural of "brain" doesn't have an apostrophe. Brain's either shows possession by the brain or is a contraction of "brain" and "is". But maybe you're just getting senile, so I'll let it slide.
LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!! Some advice to future Georgie girls: STFU ha ha.....
This can only mean one thing, Brad Pitt called, and Zahara is ready to be broken in.
They are drawing the satanic circle now.
They make a statement about wanting their breakup to be private, but who would know or even care if they didn't make that announcement. It is like 10+ years ago when I worked for a newspaper. Michael Douglas and Catherine Zeta Jones would send massive amounts of press releases about their lives to all the newspapers, and then on camera complain about all the press they received.
I think this chick looks like a tranny.
George should date in his own age bracket.
I thought he was secretly gay and she was just his "cover?"
I can't wait for the day till George gets his heart broken by some hot piece. That's why I don't believe in this karma shit. I've seen plenty of assholes carry on with their lives, living it up. Maybe we can all learn something from George.
She done fucked up talking about marriage!! idiot!
Submitted by Sweetas on Wed, 06/22/2011 - 12:25pm.
LMAO! You think you know me, that's cute. Oh and Mr. Intellectual, the plural of "brain" doesn't have an apostrophe. Brain's either shows possession by the brain or is a contraction of "brain" and "is". But maybe you're just getting senile, so I'll let it slide.
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Well it has been a while since I've had to deal with the pettiness of the grammar police so I was careless. Apologies to your fussy inner old lady.
I don't pretend to know you. But your arrogance and assholishness (chew on that one) are plainly evident in your writing. Grammatical carelessness aside, my original point stands. Time will have the last laugh on you. But when whatever outer beauty you may have fades. The ugliness of your spirit will keep you alone for a long time.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jsS1rC8zYzo
Dammit George, that one was hot! You fucked up.
She did good. Two years in Clooney-land is the equivalent to ten years in the real world of relationships.
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"This is what we call the floating world . . .” (Ryoi, c.1661)
" . . . the world needs to be shut down. I mean it this time. SHUT IT DOWN". (MK, c.2009)
I smelled death as soon as she quoted that "she would be married one day soon". RIP
George does. not. play!
You void the contract by mentioning the "M" word - then you're out. I think most of us (except Elisabetta) knew it was a wrap after her last interview.
Next!
Am I suppose to be sad about this? She knew the rules and if you like to be the next ho in line, go sign up but please don't cry when it dies.
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Visit my husband's webcomic DUNGEON HORDES at http://www.drunkduck.com/dungeon_hordes
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George, call me!
I think it's cool that he wants to remain a freebird as long as he is honest with the women from the outset. Off course these young women want to have kids and a man who will stick around.
Okay, I get so sick and tired of being RIGHT all the time! *LOL*
When Michael K posted the quotes from that silly beard, I said on that thread that George was going to be dropping her like a bad rash as soon as it hit the print. She signed her own exit papers when she said the "M" word- and I don't mean masturbate! *LOL*
GEORGE IS NOT GETTING MARRIED... until gay marriage is legal in these 50 States (that includes Texas, y'all)
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All together now: FUCK MY LIFE. - The One-and-Only Michael K- 6/17/11
I also violently hate that white shirt she is wearing in the pics. I would dump her too if she decided to leave the house in that tacky mess.