Kirstie Alley Has Lost 100 Pounds, So Says Kirstie Alley
Just like that dude on Craigslist who tells you that he's got an 8.5 incher with the girth of Neptune's pinched nipple, Kirstie Alley's sense of measurement is about as off as her sense of sanity. Shortly after the fat thetans started to belly flop off of her body during Dancing with the Has-Beens, Kirstie said she was a size 4, then she said she was a size 2, then she said that her retinas have gotten so skinny that she can't even see the dress labels anymore, but she's pretty sure she can only fit into size zeros that have been cut in half and vacuum sealed.
And during an interview with Entertainment Tonight, Kirstie told that the re-worked robotic clone of John Tesh named Mark Steines that she has dropped 10 dress sizes (cut to Kirstie minutes before dropping 10 dress labels onto the floor so you can't say she's lying) and is now 100 pounds lighter. Kirstie's personal e-meter in her cubby hole at the Scientology Center just grew eyes so it can side-eye this heffa. Kirstie said this:
"I've lost 100 pounds. I feel like I'm back in my element and not wearing a suit, a bad suit. And I honestly didn't even realize what I looked like too much. Right before I did Dancing with the Stars, I bought these dresses in size 14 to 4, the same dress, and I said, 'You know what I really want? I really want to be in this dress in a 4.'
The chunk didn't melt off of Kirstie Alley's body (it was later poured into an empty pasta sauce jar and stored in a cabinet next to the Scientology men's sauna for future lube use) with help from the appetite-suppressant known as working as John Travolta's booty hole groomer for the week.
Kirstie says she owes everything to Organic Liaisons, the Scientology-approved weight loss program she came up with. Uh huh, the only liaison you've had is with a lapband, bitch, but I'll let that one pass since Kirstie made my night last night by coming out on the catwalk at the Zang Toi looking like Xenu in first time drag complete with a bacon basket weave. Burn up that barley, Kirstie!
Those thetans are working their magic because biatch looks more Star Trek than ever! Seriously, pull back that hair and show us your pointy ears.
I lost 140# via changing my eating & working out a lot over several years. I was always uncomfortable when people raved about my weight loss. People always wanted to know what my secret was - my response was always the same - you have to find what works for you, for the rest of your life.
I was irritated when people suggested I had weight-loss surgery. I perceived it as "cheating" to lose weight. I guess a lot of people do, since so many people who have surgical "intervention" lie about it.
I wonder - do people who lie about the surgery do so because they feel they took the easy way out? (Not really easy - seen some people go through it.)
Losing weight is hard work. Keeping it off is a challenge as well. Whatever path one chooses to lose weight, it's a lifelong journey. There has to be some "emotional" work too - otherwise you are doomed to fail. You gotta deal with the stuff that made you use food. Otherwise, you'll go back to the food or some other "distraction".
When I hear all the "numbers talk" by Kirstie, it's clear she's doing it for reinforcement. Some positive-self-talk is important, but between the constant talk & the boy toy, it's clear she's not dealing with the real stuff. When the attention dies down, she's going to end up back in stretchy moo-moos.
For me, the hardest part - and I still struggle with it - is not seeing my "old fat self" in the mirror. I don't recognize myself. I quit dating a man because of all the judgmental comments he'd make about fat people. I didn't bother to share the details with him, because I lost weight, but he'll always be an a$$hole.
I like Kirstie despite that Scientology and General Craziness thing. I hope she can keep the weight off.
Well in her defense she kinda looks like Lindsay Lohan and if you told me they were the same age I might believe you (despite Kirstie being 60)
I love Jambi!
Kristie looks good but she is still fucking crazy.
Submitted by IrishFury on Wed, 09/14/2011 - 12:22pm.
I also don't understand how she always insists on putting numbers on everything - how many pounds, kilos, what dress size etc.
Maybe she is a high functioning autist. Oh, I forgot, Scientologists don't do autism (nor Lap-Bands, nor lipo).
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Who are you calling silly cow?
She's still trying to pimp that liaison bullshit? She was fat when that shit debuted and STAYED fat for years afterwards! Funniest shit ever! What a whore.
Is it written somewhere else that she is "currently" wearing the size 4? Her quote only says that she wants to be in a size 4 dress. I think she is still in the process of losing weight and thats why she shown here in a size greater than 4.
I've always thought Fergie looked like Kirstie.
There was another 80s TV actress too, who looked just like Kirstie but I can't remember who she was!
Oh and she's a solid 10 size. I also don't understand how she always insists on putting numbers on everything - how many pounds, kilos, what dress size etc. That shit only leads to vile, mean-spirited people making fun of her, like us bitches on DListed.
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Dark-sided!
Submitted by snowpiece on Wed, 09/14/2011 - 11:15am.
...maybe KA wears a 4 at Lane Brynt!
HAHAAAAAA AMEN!!
Looks a helluva lot like Lindsay Lohan in the thumbnails
Her dress looks like one of those dresses you'd see on those creepy-ass Marie Osmond QVC dolls that sell for some asinine price like $300.
Bitch PLEASE! I mean, maybe she really thinks she's a 4. Maybe "her people" sew size 4 labels into her clothing?? I'm small everywhere but my chest (usually a 26 in jeans, medium tops) and I wear either a 4 or a 6 in dresses. I mean really? How stupid does she think we are?
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*Beauty fades, but bitchiness gets better with age!* - MK
Xenu Barbie needs to let it go. At her age, she shouldn't be worrying about fitting into single digits and starving herself. Same goes for Oprah and Carrie Fisher.
it is possible she is a size four, like an old navy size 4, (which is really an 8 or 10) I am a size 6, but in designer wear I wear size 2, so maybe if you find the right "designer", sizes dont meean crap, its your measurement, how many inches is that waist?
my waist is 28 inches or 27 depends on how much I eat.
anyways I sew a little and did a dress, you know my size in the pattern is a 12!!! so sizing is different, that is why MM was a size 10 back when.
So if my sizing I have from 1 to 12, I can claim to be a size 1 or a 12. I will say Kristie looks like a 32 inch waist but maybe more.
"I will pee myself today and when someone asks, "what is that smell?", I will happily tell them Veluptuous by KK!" Urmomma
Oops - you already said the same thing StefyStef. And I love your avi - he was soooooo good on Spartacus.
I believe she lost 100 pounds - she was ginormous before. Naturally? Hell to the no, she had surgery.
She looks great. Why does she have to lie about it? Kirstie, we don't care what you weigh or how many pounds you lost, quit telling stories and just enjoy how you look. Geesh.
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Submitted by FilthyBitch on Wed, 09/14/2011 - 11:23am.
I predicted this when it was announced she was going to do DWTS - I said everyone that does that show drops major weight, now watch her say she lost it because of her bogus Organic Liasons bullshit when it's over.
Fuck off - she danced like a cow.
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Filthy! My long lost sister?!?!?!
They all lose a shit ton of weight on DWTS. Remember Marie Osmand said it was Jenny Craig (Nutrisystem? Weight Watchers? Whatever!). If anyone paid attention, she lost most of the weight BEFORE the got the JC/NS/WW contract. Hollyweird, full of BS.
I think she looks great in the black outfit. I don't think she's a size 2 or 4 either, but she looks terrific. Organic Liason is her line, so of course she's going to credit it, when I'm sure it was just a lot of hard work of eating less and exercising more.
www.petfinder.com - enter your zip code to find adoptable pets in your area.
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I didn't read all the comments so someone has probably already said this but....she looks like Fergie.
Submitted by snowpiece on Wed, 09/14/2011 - 10:37am.
I SERIOUSLY THOUGHT THAT WAS A BARBIE OF HER IN THE MAIN PIC,
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I thought it was Fergie.
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Try to be original, like the Colonel Sanders (may he rest in peace with his secret spices and shit). - urmomma
she looks great, but if she is a size 4, I am a size 32, the Queen of England, and Lindsay Lohan is sober.
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But he's been pretty much yellow, and I've been kind of blue
But all I can see is red, red red red red now
What am I gonna do?
OLD JOKE:
first person: I lost 50 pounds!
second person: Look behind you and you'll find it.
I predicted this when it was announced she was going to do DWTS - I said everyone that does that show drops major weight, now watch her say she lost it because of her bogus Organic Liasons bullshit when it's over.
Fuck off - she danced like a cow.
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"I've got a strong stomach and no standards to speak of" - MK 2/5/11
clicked on the 1st thumbnail of her face. Dear Lord! that shit is scary!!!!! Who did her makeup?! why is her face a different shade than her neck? and those old lady smoker lips are scary as well.
Good. Bad. I'm the guy with the gun.
-Ash
NO way is she a size 4. MAYBE 14, but probably 16 or 18.
She's 60 though, people, she looks great for her age. She's lying, but I still have to give credit where credit is due.
snowy - I mentioned the Lane Bryant clothing line too! LOL
She's looking good! but why the need to lie? No way she is in a size 4, a size 10 maybe...but even that is pushing it.
and that whole size 14 dress for Dancing with the Stars?! LMFAO!!!!!!! A size 24 is much more believable.
Good. Bad. I'm the guy with the gun.
-Ash
Size 4? MOO, PLEASE. Kirstie is at least 5'7", and is not small-boned, so ain't no way she could be a size 4 even with a 100 lb. "weight loss". She does look better, though.
She might have lost 100lbs, but I would bet my paycheck that she had the lapband or some other kind of surgery to help her lose weight.
Like J-Hud, she's fakin' it while trying makin' it.
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All together now: FUCK MY LIFE. - The One-and-Only Michael K- 6/17/11
perky we are the same height/weight! But I can wear a 4 at Ann Taylor, LOL and I need at least an 8 at H&M, it's so varied, maybe KA wears a 4 at Lane Brynt!
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"Basically, Murlonio means "from Rob's ass" in Dumfuckanese." MK
"WE ARE THE TRIFECTA OF HATE ENTER THE TRIANGLE." Sucky 6/14/11
Dog - yes, I built 2 stations that I play mixed, but it keeps "suggesting" shit.
Besides the thumbs down (which I don't think they limit) I've just been pressing the skip button, band I like, song I don't.
Submitted by perky on Wed, 09/14/2011 - 10:58am.
There must be a secret cabal of Hollywood seamstresses who sew size 2 and 4 labels into celeb clothing.
M.E., didn't you build your radio station?
Wow, I didn't know they limit you on the thumbs-downs per hour!!!!!!!!!!!
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Dog - I'm annoyed more that in the last 10 minutes, they have only played ONE song I like, all others have been from bands I've never heard of and I can't "skip" anymore this hour.
My IT guy needs to get my Windows Media installed, STAT. I have like thousands of CD's uploaded on the old one.
She looks good, but she's at least a size 10.
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I refreshed the page and my PENIS WAS GONE! -- SugarFreeRedBull, MicroPenis Advocate
Submitted by M.E. on Wed, 09/14/2011 - 11:03am.
Jesus, I guess it's a good thing I'm alone in the office today. Since stepping foot out of my house this morning every fucking thing possible has gone wrong and everything is making me stabbier than hell.
I can't even with Pandora right now.
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Pandora needs to stop with the damn commercials.
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www.charitywater.org
www.animalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
What's with the hair turban she's got wrapped around her head? Fugly.
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Yes, and everyone needs to stop with the clothing sizes. Because, for one, IT DOESN'T MATTER. And two, it doesn't mean shit.
Everyone needs to see this:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/77367764@N00/sets/72157602199008819/
Mouse over the photos and see how these women are classified by the BMI index. Very interesting.
...don't buy the weight loss hyperbole, but she doesn't look bad here...esp for a 60 yr old
...I'd wager she's had some major laser work to resurface and tighten her face and something like the iGuide to tighten up her jawline:
...but the Valley of the Dolls eyebrows and eye make-up have got to go...
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...'we want money' - Doug and Courtney Hutchison's hacker...
Jesus, I guess it's a good thing I'm alone in the office today. Since stepping foot out of my house this morning every fucking thing possible has gone wrong and everything is making me stabbier than hell.
I can't even with Pandora right now.
From afar, kind of looks like Lilo. So, yeah, Lindsay Lohan looks like a woman who is about forty years her senior. Fuck her, though, this isn't about that wretch. I think Kirstie would look good if if weren't for the overly-caked makeup.
My motto is to always give credit where credit is due, so here goes: for a reformed fattie of a certain age there is supisingly little sagging. All in all she looks phenomenal body wise, especially given her starting point. That being said, it's a pity she lost her sense of humor and self-deprication along with the lbs.
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Who are you calling silly cow?
Submitted by Whamo on Wed, 09/14/2011 - 10:58am.
Submitted by Slurpee on Wed, 09/14/2011 - 10:39am.
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Hey there slurps, nice to "see" you again!
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Thanks! You too!
she's high, she's a liar and still looks like sweaty floppy fatty shit.
*peddles off in a mint '88 yugo*
Submitted by Whamo on Wed, 09/14/2011 - 10:57am.
Submitted by Oxygen on Wed, 09/14/2011 - 10:18am.
I totally remember those toilet holder dolls. I actually had to fucking CROTCHET one..
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LOL! oh ya the crotchet ones were the classic ones.
Was is a yellow dress with brown crotchet "skirt"?
The 70's were insane with all the crotchet stuff. Do you remember those huge crochet plant holders that hung from the ceiling? Those had CLASSY written all over them I tell ya!
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Only if they had a Barbie Doll sticking out of the top of them.
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www.animalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
Submitted by snowpiece: "I SERIOUSLY THOUGHT THAT WAS A BARBIE OF HER IN THE MAIN PIC"
Me too.
It's good she lost the weight, but she always makes a big deal about it and gets fat again. She should just keep quiet and not tempt fate.
A size four. Are you f-ing kidding me. I will tell you right now that I am 5'9, 135 lbs, and I wear a size six (and sometimes EIGHT) so there is no g.d. way this woman can squeeze that ass into a four. I don't hate Kirstie or anything and there's certainly nothing wrong with her if she's not a size four, I just wish these idiots would stop lying about it!! Don't get me started on J-Love.
Submitted by Slurpee on Wed, 09/14/2011 - 10:39am.
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Hey there slurps, nice to "see" you again!