Tuesday, October 11th 2011

Johnny Takes A Tumble


Before hitting play, you might want turn your speakers all the way down or staple your ear flaps to your face, because the dramatic ass paparazzo screeching out "You dropped Johnny!" til his tonsils fell off could wake a Lohan from her drunk coma.

Fresh off of pissing people off with his rape comment, Johnny Depp took on the drunk celebrity obstacle course in Hollywood as he left some restaurant called 25 Degrees the other night. Johnny made it out the door (1 point), scribbled out an autograph (2 points), got bro hugged to the ground by some Gallagher looking ho (-3 points), got back up (3 points) and then kept on signing his name like his nalgas just didn't eat sidewalk (20 points!!!!). You can't keep a drunk Johnny down! But the most impressive part of Johnny Herp Derp's tanked bitch stroll to the SUV is that not once did he shove his BIC down that pap's mouth to stop the fake scream madness. If there's such a thing as beer goggles, there must be such a thing as beer plugs and Johnny definitely has them shoved in his ear holes.

Johnny eventually got into his SUV and showed everyone he was okay by doing the heroin tap and the fisting an imaginary asshole salute! And no, I'm not entirely convinced that this isn't John Mayer.

via Gossip Cop

Posted by: Michael K
jack-n-the-hat's picture

Submitted by DirtyWhoreMouth on Tue, 10/11/2011 - 9:38am.
Submitted by Dog on Tue, 10/11/2011 - 9:31am.
How frigging embarrassing. How much do you have to drink to where you can't even stand up without canting sideways?
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For me about 6 beers and 4 shots. WOO!
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LOL... case of beer, pint of Patron and strong fuckin wind!
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"I have no snacks for you, only death." ~ annobanano, 08/03/2011

NOT IMPRESSED's picture

Submitted by yepyepyep on Tue, 10/11/2011 - 9:26am.
Poor Johnny I know someone who knows him and he is creepy IRL he stares at you studies you

Hahaha, I TOTALLY believe that. I never understood the hype around this guy.
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Douchechill!

El Bastardo's picture

Are there nude pics of Miss Depps tinymeat? Why does he stay with Madam snaggletooth Le yuckfish?

Discuss.

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Submitted by gladyslove on Tue, 07/05/2011 - 11:19pm.
You name should be El Retardo.

parissucksliterally's picture

Johnny is SHITFACED!

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I know you haven't made your mind up yet, but I will never do you wrong
I've known it from the moment that we met, no doubt in my mind where you belong

DirtyWhoreMouth's picture

Submitted by Dog on Tue, 10/11/2011 - 9:31am.
How frigging embarrassing. How much do you have to drink to where you can't even stand up without canting sideways?
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For me about 6 beers and 4 shots. WOO!

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"Bitch, your pancakes look fine to me."

*swoon* at DWM... such a BITCH! by Jack-n-the-

M.E.'s picture

Is this a case of the drunks? Damn Johnny!

why do people fawn all over johnny depp? he's a crap actor and keeps playing the same parts over and over and over and over and he's a greedy bastard.

jack-n-the-hat's picture

Submitted by Dog on Tue, 10/11/2011 - 9:31am.
How frigging embarrassing. How much do you have to drink to where you can't even stand up without canting sideways?
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not sure if this was rhetorical but it differs for everyone based on body size and tolerance.
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"I have no snacks for you, only death." ~ annobanano, 08/03/2011

zachhcaz's picture

The ego makes him top heavy.

DirtyWhoreMouth's picture

I think gallagher was just trying to smash Johnny's melon.

______________________________________________
"Bitch, your pancakes look fine to me."

*swoon* at DWM... such a BITCH! by Jack-n-the-

Dog's picture

How frigging embarrassing. How much do you have to drink to where you can't even stand up without canting sideways?

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Sweetas's picture

Johnny is wasted lol. And that fist thing at the end, isn't that the European version of the finger?

urmomma's picture

I think I smell a shit cloud coming.....damn, Johnny.

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The difficult brown?! I think we're all done here. -MK

Poor Johnny I know someone who knows him and he is creepy IRL he stares at you studies you
I need a drink

"I will pee myself today and when someone asks, "what is that smell?", I will happily tell them Veluptuous by KK!" Urmomma

DirtyWhoreMouth's picture

So that's John Mayer right?
______________________________________________
"Bitch, your pancakes look fine to me."

*swoon* at DWM... such a BITCH! by Jack-n-the-

jack-n-the-hat's picture

♫♪ Captain Jack will get you high tonight ♫♪
_____________________________________________
"I have no snacks for you, only death." ~ annobanano, 08/03/2011