Every Copy Of Photoshop Just Deleted Itself
Because Hugh Hefner can't remember what flavor of breakfast pudding he had this morning let alone the fact that every pair of eyeballs on this planet have seen Lindsay Lohan's freckled titty sacks so much that we could all draw them from memory on an Etch-A-Sketch, Playboy is writing her a check for almost $1 million to flash those saggy zombie tits in a cover spread called "The Last Nail In My Career's Coffin Has Nipples!"
TMZ says that Playboy originally offered LiLo $750,000 and she spit on that number, because she thinks her crusty nooks and crannies are worth at least $1 million. So Playboy came back with an unknown number that just under $1 million, and since her lawyer's firm doesn't accept rim jobs as payment, she snatched up that deal. They started shooting the spread this past weekend and E! News is hearing it's for the January 2012 issue (aka The Apocalypse of HoHan's Career Issue). E! is also saying that the entire spread will include zero nipples and zero shots of her bare ashcrotch (that fire was put out a long time ago).
Hustler and the producers of soft-core porn movies didn't even bother countering Playboy's offer since they know that in about 6 months they can get HoHan for a half bottle of Thunderbird and a small pile of sea jasper pebbles.
You know who should really get $1 million for this spread? The brave soul who has to burn their knuckles off while Photoshopping that mess. They have to turn LiLo's "candy corn shat out of hell's asshole" teeth into glistening white Chiclets. They have to brush away her bruises and use the shit out of the methadone tool to erase the meth from her face. Hugh Hefner is totally going to have to give that Photoshop artist the "Remember your training, and you will make it out alive!" speech from Starship Troopers. Reserve the Purple Heart for that Photoshop artist, because they're going to deserve it when all is airbrushed and done.
Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Tue, 10/25/2011 - 8:33am.
no nipples and no crotch shots? THEN WHO FUCKING CARES!
The people who wanted to see SamRo's teeth marks all over that thing.
http://youtu.be/i9WOdnR-Nfs
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I'm not a living legend. I'm just a myth.
I can just see the center fold on this mess. Her body will be on the one side and they'll need the fold out for her freckled stretched out lesion covered beef curtains.
Submitted by snowpiece on Tue, 10/25/2011 - 8:35am.
hahahahahahaha I think I dated her.... several times :P
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"I wonder if Viola adopted a white baby because no one seems to want them anymore. *LOL* ~ stefystef, 10/19/2011
Will she at least bare her teefs in the spread?
"E! is also saying that the entire spread will include zero nipples and zero shots of her bare ashcrotch"
what the fuck? So what the fuck did they pay a mil for?
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Submitted by stinkbutt on Mon, 03/29/2010 - 5:47pm.
suckandfuck, do us all a favor, and hang yourself. Oh, and your parents should be shot for raising a disgusting pig like yourself.
.
No wonder she splurged on the new car a few weeks back, can afford the swank hotel room near downtown, etc.
Knew some cash was flowin' in.
Prob. her last hurrah.
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HAHAHA! Wait until PSL and M.E. see this!
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www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
just pathetic, keep encouraging this fucked up smelly twat and maybe she will die sooner
in other news look at fucking Tara Reid, what a mess
http://www.tmz.com/2011/10/25/tara-reid-marriage-not-legal-video-greek-i...
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"Basically, Murlonio means "from Rob's ass" in Dumfuckanese." MK
"WE ARE THE TRIFECTA OF HATE ENTER THE TRIANGLE." Sucky 6/14/11
MK, I'm still laughing out loud at this whole article.
I'm sure WO will issue some bizarre, coked and liquored out statement to this...can't wait!
We've all already seen it, FFS. Of course they will have to photoshop out the freckles, the wrinkles, and raise her boobs.
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www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
"E! is also saying that the entire spread will include zero nipples and zero shots of her bare ashcrotch (that fire was put out a long time ago)."
So wait. She's being paid to keep her clothes ON?
By Playboy?
hahaha
no nipples and no crotch shots? THEN WHO FUCKING CARES!
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"I wonder if Viola adopted a white baby because no one seems to want them anymore. *LOL* ~ stefystef, 10/19/2011
http://youtu.be/-DJtHL3NV1o
been there, done that...what's new about her nekkidness?
i guess its one way to pay legal fees
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what's in your taco?: a. chicken b. beef c. fish d. QUEEF
So Playboy is now doing shock porn by having a corpse disrobe? Oh wait, the head of Playboy IS a corpse. Makes sense now!
Well this should be interesting. And by interesting I mean nasty. Bring on the freckles!
This needs the "Why Are You Doing This To Us?" tag.
I don't know why anyone would want to see her naked unless it was like in a freak show sort of way.
Submitted by MJF on Tue, 10/25/2011 - 8:28am.
My prayers go out to the photographer as well...
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! This whole situation really is pathetic. $1Mil for this meth whore?? She'll just use the money for drugs and finally OD...silver lining? O_o
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Douchechill!
Pass, Raul has already seen Bozo the Crotch.
http://youtu.be/i9WOdnR-Nfs
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I'm not a living legend. I'm just a myth.
My prayers go out to the photographer as well...
~*~Hello, my baby! Hello, my honey! Hello, my ragtime gal....~*~