As The Beliebers Lose Their Half-Developed Minds.....
The Beliebers are sharpening their rattles into shanks, asking their parents to get them a PlaySkool gat for Christmas and turning grade school poems into adorable death threats, because one of their own has gone rogue by claiming that Justin Bieber knocked her up during 30-second not-so-sexy times in a backstage bathroom at one of his concerts. Buzzfeed put together the best death threat Tweets made by a bunch of Beliebers who really need a chancleta-wielding abuelita in their lives. Reading those Tweets is the best birth control, because who wants their child to join these baby-worshiping crazies as the future of humanity? My parts don't even make ovaries and I'm about to shove an old school Depo Provera syringe up my asshole just in case. Moving on....
I guess Mariah Yeater's 3-month-old son doesn't have a Hasbro tag sticking out of his big toe and a preliminary DNA test could not confirm or deny that he's half teddy bear, because her lawyers still want Justin Bieber to submit a sample. Lawyers for the 20-year-old crazy ho (seen in a bathroom and bedroom photo shoot below) tell Radar that they have every reason to believe that The Lesbeaver is the father of her child and the only way to prove this is with DNA. Justin's lawyers deny that he ever even met her and he's filing his own lawsuit against her for defamation. But Mariah's pepaw, Eddie Markhouse, tells The NYDN that his granddaughter only does underage yodeling fetuses and she does not do lie-telling.
“I don’t know the whole story. But, from what I understood, she met him at a concert and he sent two security guards down off of the stage to bring her backstage to meet him. She said they partied, had some drinks and they indulged in sex … She’s basically an honest good person. She’s got a big heart. She’s a good kid and she loves this baby.”
Oh, I believe that Mariah feels nothing but love for her baby. If I had a child that I loved, I'd want to tell him that he was made when a drunk superstar toddler humped on me for half a minute in the dirty stall of some bathroom. Then I'd tell my baby that I didn't sue his father for the money. I did it for the legal right to use his last name on the birth certificate. I mean, if Justin is the father, then Mariah's baby's last name will be: Yeater-Bieber. YEATER FUCKING BIEBER! Ding, ding, ding. We have a winner for the best hyphenated last name ever. Think about it. Grab your tongue and say Yeater-Bieber really fast. EAT. HER. BEAVER.
You are definitely not a loving and caring mother if you keep your child from having a last name like that.
I remember years ago when a woman told Mike Tyson that her baby was his.
He was so happy. Even had the baby on the cover of Ebony or Jet or something.
Then the bitch wanted more money because $10,000 a month wasn't enough. They did the DNA test and in the words of Maury Povich- You are NOT the father.
Mike was messed up behind that because the woman lied, knowing there ws a chance that Mike wasn't the father.
This Beiber boy should just take the tests and clear shit up. He wants to play with the adults, then you have to know how to handle your shit.
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All together now: FUCK MY LIFE. - The One-and-Only Michael K- 6/17/11
Even if she's guilty (potentially) of statutory rape...SHE WON! How much time would she get? Little if any.Would Bieber still have to cut a FAT CHECK? You bet.She went "kamikaze"...and may have hit her target BULLSEYE.(if it's true)
One more reason why the law should read:
1)ALL LIVE BIRTHS SHOULD BE ACCOMPANIED BY A PATERNITY TEST
2)WOMEN WHO CHOOSE TO BREED OUT OF WEDLOCK SHALL NOT BE ENTITLED TO PUBLIC OR PRIVATE FINANCIAL SUPPORT.
All I can see is those yella teef. I really hope she's telling the truth. This could be golden.
"sharpening their rattles into shanks, asking their parents to get them a PlaySkool gat for Christmas and turning grade school poems into adorable death threats, because one of their own has gone rogue"
Lmatfoo Mk at Playskook gat and shank rattles. Christ lol. Those fanatical Beiberettes are sick in the head. These are the tween hors that will be "running" the cuntry in 20 years or so, Jesus fuck. *plans for tweenzbie apocalypse*
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"Tear up the Introduction! I don't hear enough rips!! This is a battle! Words and ideas CAN change the world. Poetry, Beauty, Romance, Love - these, we stay alive for." http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-VUV2Yl8gsI&feature=related -Dead Poets So
Submitted by AgentM on Thu, 11/03/2011 - 12:46pm.
Not to be mean but I am sure she wasn't the best looking girl there.
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Umm...this is mean for you? Are you from Canada or something?
Submitted by snowpiece on Wed, 07/08/2009 - 5:00pm.
Karen Flatts is always a cunt
Submitted by Athina on Thu, 11/03/2011 - 11:48am.
The age of consent in California is 18. Unless this bitch is claiming she was raped, which she is NOT, why isn't she facing statutory rape charges? What am I missing here? If it was the other way around, and it was a 20 year old guy and a 16 year old girl, people would be up in arms.
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If the baby is proven to be his, you can be practically guaranteed that there will be statuatory rape charges brought against her. However, if the DNA doesn't match but she sticks to her story, it doesn't necessarily mean they will bring charges, especially just on her say-so. The "victim" (if he is one) is denying the crime, and a confession cannot be the only evidence to convict.
There have been many people with mental illness that have confessed to crimes they did not commit. Hell, there have been some "sane" people who have done the same when under stress. The police are not going to act on anything until they have all of the information, and have exhausted all of their investigative avenues. It would be foolish to arrest her at this point.
So, out of a sea of fresh faced, pert breasted, nubile girls he picks HER! Either the Beibs is myopic or he has an Oedipus complex.(Beibipus complex?) Or she's a lying nutbag.
HB to Lulu!
she reminds me of a dumpy ashley greene in the last pic.
"What bakery is this?"
"Zed's Bread baby, Zed's Bread."
No way the Biebs picked that out of a crowd and asked she be brought backstage. Aint happenin'.
I'd bet Courtney Stodden's tee taws on it.
I am sure this has already been brought up, but I am dlisted and adhd, so I haven't scrolled to read the comments - yet - first things first or I will forget what I had to say and all....
Isn't this like molesting a child by a adult if she is pregnant? Did wacko not consider she enticed an underage child, if indeed, he is the father?
Stupid hoe.
Bimbo, Go to JAIL
Beebs, collect baby when you pass GO
I'm just curious, if it isn't true and he's never met her why won't he just take the DNA test? Also, does she have the ticket stub from the concert? I'm an asshole, I kinda want this to be true.
She looks like this skanky bitch who gave my boyfriend a blowjob once before he and I were dating. He didn't even come and she just looked up after a few minutes and said "did you finish?" After that she got pissed when he and I started dating a few months later and would just "happen" to be at parties and places we were at to try to get his attention.
They could probably be the same person. Blegh.
She's carrying weight but these could be taken post baby. These are bad pictures but there is potential for her to scrub up OK, 20 lbs lighter with her gladrags on, full hair and make up. I still think it's a bullshit publicity stunt to squash the Selena as beard rumours. If he aint the father and he doesn't sue her ass, his people started the whole thing.
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"It's always funny until somebody gets hurt-then it's fucking hilarious": The late great Bill Hicks
Submitted by Hekki on Thu, 11/03/2011 - 12:05pm.
I can't help thinking about the story ba-buttons told about his friend who worked at the stadium where lesBeaver and Selena saw the hockey game.
I haz questions:
Did she attend this *cough, cough* Justin Bieber concert alone or with a friend? If so, did she tell her friend "BRB, Justin Bieber's bodyguards want me to go backstage for a minute". Did she tell anyone after it happened? Did the bodyguards make her leave her cellphone with them while she was committing the alleged unprotected statutory rape on Justin Bieber? Does she have a ticket stub? And doesn't his mother go everywhere with him?
Detective Hekki says this nutbar has no idea whether the gas station attendant, FedEx guy, janitor or produce manager in her real life knocked her up. So she spins a yarn about some fantasy encounter with the Asexual Fetus.
Just change your name to Detective Hekki, because I think you've got this case cracked.
The only thing that this crazy stalking claims of being knocked up fan has over the others of her ilk is that she has an actual knocked up date (Oct 27, 2010) and a delivery date of July 6, 2011. That would be a 3 weeks pre-mature Bieber Jr. baby delivery date.
So if she had a ticket stub from that concert she's got my ear until Maury opens the envelope.
She is not fat, but her two sizes too small boyshorts (or whatever that is suppossed to be) aren`t helping the situation. And she looks mental as fuck.
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Well, aren't you just the cosmopolitan Queen Bee of Cuntsville? No, I'm sorry, of "Cuntropolis". Please excuse us in all of our inbred grandpa fucking glory. Karen Flatts, 09/21/11
The metal cat food bowl on the floor is giving me a boner.
I'm seeing the shower scene in "Psycho".......
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I have to laugh to keep from crying.
I might beweave this if she were a tranny.
But then trannies can't get pregnant I guess....
♥ Threadkilla!
Lean Like a Chola, Celebrity Stylez: http://youtu.be/0ZwdYeGSVS0
Sounds to me like she had drunken sex with some random dude and pulled out this story out of her ass to avoid telling her family the truth. Hey! maybe they'll be less annoyed if they know some "teen idol" knocked her up instead of a random drunk average Joe. Going to a lawyer and asking for DNA is going a bit too far, but a ho has to do what a ho has to do to make a lie look sound truth.
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-"I am not about to deal with unstable people" - HEART ANGELINA.
" Your mind will answer most questions if you learn to relax and wait for the answer"..William S. Burroughs
as a former groupie myself, i must say if shes a Bieber groupie at age twenty she must be mental. theyre are so many hot guys in real bands to fuck. jmo.
Men are typically horn-dogs, right? They can't always have the best, so they go for what's ready, willing, and available (see Arnold Schwarzenegger). And remember bat-shit crazy Margaret Ray (David Letterman's stalker)? Well, I truly believe the locals at the time who said that Letterman had slept with her (not knowing she was ill, of course). Then the stalking started.
I would love to believe her story is true.....but I am sure that some of these wackos have actually gotten with the celebs they then obsess over.
Submitted by Slurpee on Thu, 11/03/2011 - 12:24pm.
I don't think she's fat.
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Who called her fat? I'm too lazy to read?
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"Bitch, your pancakes look fine to me."
*swoon* at DWM... such a BITCH! by Jack-n-the-
Let's get Maury on this. He'll knock it out in 60 minutes, with commercials.
I kinda hope Bieber is the father for some reason. Maybe it's just the asshole in me.
One little pet peeve about her father's statement- I hate when people say they "indulged" in sex. What, is it a fucking decadent chocolate bon bon you ate while off the Weight Watchers wagon? For some reason that just irritates the shit out of me. I also hate the term "pet peeve" and I just used it, so I'm not quite sure what that says about me.
Not to be mean but I am sure she wasn't the best looking girl there.
Whatever, show us the paternity test results or get the fuck out.
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"I bet Michael Lohan's sperm comes out of his peen yelling screaming and pissed off at the world, all the sperms are getting into fights with each other about who gets to swim where and shit." -- Whamo
lion box
♫♪ Day dreammmmm belieber and uh.... homecoming queeEEEN♪♫
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"Dog, Jack drinks exclusively at the Braille Bar." EastEndGirl, 11/01/2011
Unless this girl is completely off her meds, I think she's telling the truth. Why put yourself out there for the media and legions of insane Beiber fans to scrutinize and rip you and your private life apart? I don't think many people would willingly put themselves through this - or their young child - unless there was some truth to it.
I don't think she's fat.
Damn I was hoping she was black. Justin is hardcore like that my brothas. Hey it's all pink on the inside (fist bump)!
...somebody is in need of a little counseling.
NOT! me! HER! damn it, people, work with me here!
I rubbed on my Ricky Schroder poster so many times, I know that shit don't produce babies.
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The difficult brown?! I think we're all done here. -MK
Good lord, I'd be hiding if I sexxed him up, not bragging.
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I don't like your grandma. She smells like vitamins and pee.
Also, she seriously looks as old as some of my mom friends in their 40s. Who have better bodies, too.
If I were a young mom with no clue where to go in life, I'd have a big fantasy imagination too. You can just picture her telling everyone the baby is Justin's and it making her feel a whole lot better about herself. Sad, sad, sad.
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Visit my husband's webcomic DUNGEON HORDES at http://www.drunkduck.com/dungeon_hordes
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I can't help thinking about the story ba-buttons told about his friend who worked at the stadium where lesBeaver and Selena saw the hockey game.
I haz questions:
Did she attend this *cough, cough* Justin Bieber concert alone or with a friend? If so, did she tell her friend "BRB, Justin Bieber's bodyguards want me to go backstage for a minute". Did she tell anyone after it happened? Did the bodyguards make her leave her cellphone with them while she was committing the alleged unprotected statutory rape on Justin Bieber? Does she have a ticket stub? And doesn't his mother go everywhere with him?
Detective Hekki says this nutbar has no idea whether the gas station attendant, FedEx guy, janitor or produce manager in her real life knocked her up. So she spins a yarn about some fantasy encounter with the Asexual Fetus.
I'M A BELIEBER!
That is, I believe he'd have the nasty 30 second sex with a nobody. She's downright pretty next to what Arnold knocked up. And look at what Ashton raw dogged in a hot tub. AMIRITE?
I'm not saying she is 100% truth telling, but it's not impossibly impossible, either. No wait, it might be if he's for real ghey. But I have no idea about that. I've never even heard a single song of his. My only knowledge of this guy is buying a Bieber t-shirt for my kid for xmas as a gag gift. She threw it at me then asked it she could burn it in the fireplace.
Alleged baby mama is all gross and preening for the camera cos the youngins love to attention whore on the tumblr. Or so I have read.
bitch is pure hips
http://globalgrind.com/entertainment/mariah-yeater-pictures-justin-biebe...
http://www.celebuzz.com/photos/mariah-yeater-justin-biebers-alleged-baby...
"I will pee myself today and when someone asks, "what is that smell?", I will happily tell them Veluptuous by KK!" Urmomma
Submitted by M.E. on Thu, 11/03/2011 - 11:55am.
(I think it's the actual backstage restroom stall she claims to have had the sessy times with Bieber in.)
Submitted by Rosebud :Is it just me or does she look like she's got the crazy gene???
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It's not just you. I was soooo hoping this was true, but judging by the her looks and way to happy smile: Biatch be craycray!
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"You're ugly and your fucking bag is ugly too."--John Galliano (allegedly)
Submitted by Spoiled on Thu, 11/03/2011 - 11:50am.
This is the uncropped bathroom shot:
http://starcasm.net/wp-content/uploads/2011/11/mariahyeater3-490x367.jpg
I would assume it was taken in the actual fornication stall? Klassy!
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Oh JHMFC! It's not even her own effing bathroom, it's a PUBLIC restroom stall?
Oh for the love of cheesus.
I'm sure someone must have mentioned this but could the whole thing be just a pile of BS to try and put a little "street cred" type thing to his image? Like the Beebs is a REAL he man out bangin chicks like a rock star? it wouldn't surprise me one bit. He must get sick of being called a fembot all the time and thinks this might change hi image????
I don't know I'm just having a hard time picturing the Beebs bending a bitch over, balls deep and givin er in a bathroom with a big line of blow on the counter and a bottle of Jack sitting there.
Just to make that clear a BOTTLE of Jack as apposed to OUR Jack sitting there.... watching the Beebs balls deep.
LOVE that Grampy says she's "basically" honest.
What...an endorsement.
Submitted by But.Seriously.Folks on Thu, 11/03/2011 - 11:41am.
The grandmas and grandpas are raising the grand-kids now because they're parents off fucking around and not taking responsibility for their kids.
So basically, this bitch can go to jail for contributing to the delinquency of a minor, providing alcohol to a minor, having sex with a minor.
And the Bieb (if there was any celebrity justice) could be arrested for making a death threat.
WHAT A NICE FUCKING WORLD WE LIVE IN.
What will probably happen is Bieber will have to cough up a lot of dough to make this moron go away. I am sure she will have no problem signing a piece of paper saying he is not the daddy (even if he is) if she is presented with enough zeros on the check. I think this kind of stuff goes on all the time when famous folk can't bother to use protection.
This is the uncropped bathroom shot:
http://starcasm.net/wp-content/uploads/2011/11/mariahyeater3-490x367.jpg
I would assume it was taken in the actual fornication stall? Klassy!
The age of consent in California is 18. Unless this bitch is claiming she was raped, which she is NOT, why isn't she facing statutory rape charges? What am I missing here? If it was the other way around, and it was a 20 year old guy and a 16 year old girl, people would be up in arms.
Gardening Girl,
I saw your question and what came to mind was A Clockwork Orange, when they drink their crazy milk. That's how I picture Bieber partying.
*makes sign of the cross and prays potential Bieber spawn isn't the antichrist *