As The Beliebers Lose Their Half-Developed Minds.....
The Beliebers are sharpening their rattles into shanks, asking their parents to get them a PlaySkool gat for Christmas and turning grade school poems into adorable death threats, because one of their own has gone rogue by claiming that Justin Bieber knocked her up during 30-second not-so-sexy times in a backstage bathroom at one of his concerts. Buzzfeed put together the best death threat Tweets made by a bunch of Beliebers who really need a chancleta-wielding abuelita in their lives. Reading those Tweets is the best birth control, because who wants their child to join these baby-worshiping crazies as the future of humanity? My parts don't even make ovaries and I'm about to shove an old school Depo Provera syringe up my asshole just in case. Moving on....
I guess Mariah Yeater's 3-month-old son doesn't have a Hasbro tag sticking out of his big toe and a preliminary DNA test could not confirm or deny that he's half teddy bear, because her lawyers still want Justin Bieber to submit a sample. Lawyers for the 20-year-old crazy ho (seen in a bathroom and bedroom photo shoot below) tell Radar that they have every reason to believe that The Lesbeaver is the father of her child and the only way to prove this is with DNA. Justin's lawyers deny that he ever even met her and he's filing his own lawsuit against her for defamation. But Mariah's pepaw, Eddie Markhouse, tells The NYDN that his granddaughter only does underage yodeling fetuses and she does not do lie-telling.
“I don’t know the whole story. But, from what I understood, she met him at a concert and he sent two security guards down off of the stage to bring her backstage to meet him. She said they partied, had some drinks and they indulged in sex … She’s basically an honest good person. She’s got a big heart. She’s a good kid and she loves this baby.”
Oh, I believe that Mariah feels nothing but love for her baby. If I had a child that I loved, I'd want to tell him that he was made when a drunk superstar toddler humped on me for half a minute in the dirty stall of some bathroom. Then I'd tell my baby that I didn't sue his father for the money. I did it for the legal right to use his last name on the birth certificate. I mean, if Justin is the father, then Mariah's baby's last name will be: Yeater-Bieber. YEATER FUCKING BIEBER! Ding, ding, ding. We have a winner for the best hyphenated last name ever. Think about it. Grab your tongue and say Yeater-Bieber really fast. EAT. HER. BEAVER.
You are definitely not a loving and caring mother if you keep your child from having a last name like that.
We're supposed to believe he picked HER out of a crowd?
He makes shitty music. I've never heard of him having shitty eyesight.
Submitted by But.Seriously.Folks on Thu, 11/03/2011 - 11:41am.
Or how about farther back when they would send you away in shame? Seriously we have lost all since of shame in this society.
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You really have to side clap and pucker for a piece who can stand next to a white feather and out-gay it. - MK 8/3/2011
Submitted by Gardening Girl on Thu, 11/03/2011 - 11:43am.
Can someone explain to me how Beiber PARTYS???
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Pediasure, strained carrots and a rattle.
So sorry guys! That's what happens when you aren't on here enough.
Derp face for me.
Submitted by Dog on Thu, 11/03/2011 - 10:54am.
I really blame Usher and Timberlake for all of this bullsh*t. Both of them saw this little wanker on YouTube and got into some kind of bidding war to see who could sign him to their label and Usher won. Had these two dorks not been trolling YouTube for little boys to bone, we'd never had heard of Justin Bullethead.
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Is that what happened? Now another reason other than "Yeah" to hate Usher, and I guess Timberfake was just tryin to bring sessay back, and thought an unhatched chicken embryo was the way to go. DUMB FUCKS!
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Can someone explain to me how Beiber PARTYS???
So now pepaws comment publicly on their granddaughter's groupie status?? What happened to the good old days when grandpa was blissfully unaware of your alleged ho shit?
"She said they partied, had some drinks and they indulged in sex … She’s basically an honest good person..."
LOL!
She needs to follow David Bowie's food-chain.
B!i!i!iD~
For your health.
Spoiled, we covered that yesterday! Ugh. Bad, bad story.
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www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
Submitted by Spoiled on Thu, 11/03/2011 - 11:34am.
Waiting for an Open Post! Have you all see the Arkansas Judge who took a belt to his 16 year old with ataxic cerebral palsy? She secretly filmed it 7 years ago:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m7tbZhhKNjA
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NO NO NO THIS IS THAT DEVIL SHIT THAT HURTS MY HEART DELETE DELETE DELETE
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Submitted by stinkbutt on Mon, 03/29/2010 - 5:47pm.
suckandfuck, do us all a favor, and hang yourself. Oh, and your parents should be shot for raising a disgusting pig like yourself.
Damn, she is one busted looking 20 year old.
Submitted by MissJaneTexas on Thu, 11/03/2011 - 11:33am.
Submitted by NC-Ladee on Thu, 11/03/2011 - 11:16am
If we are talking about the same woman it was Keanu Reeves!!! She claimed he was the father of her 3 or 4 grown kids. He submitted a DNA test and it was obviously proven not to be true. Crazy biatch.
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That's who it was. I knew someone would help me out. Her azz was certifiable!!!
Waiting for an Open Post! Have you all see the Arkansas Judge who took a belt to his 16 year old with ataxic cerebral palsy? She secretly filmed it 7 years ago:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m7tbZhhKNjA
Family Court Judge William Adams:
http://abcnews.go.com/US/texas-judge-caught-beating-daughter-tape/story?...
Submitted by Kenneth G on Thu, 11/03/2011 - 11:33am.
What's that little honeybeaver fantasizing about Bieber's Kid Cuisine cocktail wiener for?? She needs some private lessons from the saxman...I'll show her birth canal what it really feels like to be stretched raw!
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yess YESSS!!!
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Submitted by stinkbutt on Mon, 03/29/2010 - 5:47pm.
suckandfuck, do us all a favor, and hang yourself. Oh, and your parents should be shot for raising a disgusting pig like yourself.
FETUS ABUSER!!!
AND EYES TORTURER!!!
KILL IT WITH FIRE!! (the lesfetisbeaver too)
Submitted by NC-Ladee on Thu, 11/03/2011 - 11:16am
If we are talking about the same woman it was Keanu Reeves!!! She claimed he was the father of her 3 or 4 grown kids. He submitted a DNA test and it was obviously proven not to be true. Crazy biatch.
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You really have to side clap and pucker for a piece who can stand next to a white feather and out-gay it. - MK 8/3/2011
What's that little honeybeaver fantasizing about Bieber's Kid Cuisine cocktail wiener for?? She needs some private lessons from the saxman...I'll show her birth canal what it really feels like to be stretched raw!
I want this to be true simply so that Beiber's rep will be destroyed and we will no longer have to hear from shim.
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He kinda reminds me of Ron Jeremy, but...not as classy! - Submitted by david Letterman
Besides, it's just marriage! Who in the hell takes that shit seriously? - Michael K
We really do need more chancleta-wielding abuelas in this world. Sigh.
Oh, he'd bang that even if he's dating Selena. Look at Tiger Woods, nobody could believe he would downgrade that far. Assuming that Justin isn't gay as Christmas, he would totally bang random trashy puss for 30 seconds and then leave. Lots of them probably.
Oh, and his fans are a bunch of insane little brats who need to be spanked by their mommies and have their allowances docked.
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I'm here to kick ass and drink tea. And I'm all out of tea.
Hahahahhaha...HAHAHAHAHHAHAHA....
Submitted by M.E. on Thu, 11/03/2011 - 11:06am.
May I please ask WTF is with taking "sessy" pics of yourself.......IN THE FUCKING BATHROOM?
Every damn person you see with a self taken wanna be sexy pic it's in the damn bathroom.
FOR WHY?????????????????
^^^^^^^^^^
Because you can't get a full body shot from a coke mirror.
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www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
I never new Bob Evens made panties too!
She's channeling Toni Collette in that third thumb.
I wanna know what lawyer took this case? This must be another Lawyer Hut type situation. Sad that a 20 year old woman is having delusions about banging this little girlboy.
But if by some miracle this is true, then, bwwaaaaahhhhaaaaaahhaaahhhhaaaaahhhhhaaaaaaaaa!!!
Ahh Sweetas - you are the hostess with the mostess. Ima move in with you!
I was going to be kind and say maybe that's the baby weight, but that doesn't splain the rest of her.
@M.E. - I have no idea why, either. Some muffin tops around here are so damned viscious, I'm sure that hurts - and what the hell - they gotta zip up, are they not noticing that 20 lbs. of fat?!! And suddenly I'm in favor of birkas.
Cheesie's tip of the day: when attempting to do sessy pics, check your background first. Really, the 1st thing I noticed was the pet dish.
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As useless as a saggy pair of tits
Submitted by CokeyBloke on Thu, 11/03/2011 - 11:17am.
Sowwy. Kerr-Bloom still wins.
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LOL *high fives*
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"Dog, Jack drinks exclusively at the Braille Bar." EastEndGirl, 11/01/2011
Submitted by suckandfuck on Thu, 11/03/2011 - 10:48am.
LOL for days
Thumb #3 is my absolute favorite.
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Submitted by DirtyWhoreMouth on Sat, 06/11/2011 - 9:32am.
It's ok to be a redneck by the way.. just don't yell git 'er done because we all hate that.
Mamas, come get your daughters. I can't help but think they are encouraging this crap. I have a six year old, and one of the first grade teachers was telling me how one of the moms was inviting her daughter's boyfriends over to play. She is 6. My daughter has girls over to play with Barbies and run around the backyard. Teach you girls some self-respect now and they won't be half naked on the internet later.
Sowwy. Kerr-Bloom still wins.
Very disturbing - especially since he looks like a child. Wasn't he dating that Selena chick last year also - she's a cutie, why would he downgrade?!
This sounds like that wack job, from Canada (I think) who claimed her grown ass children were fathered by some famous actor and she wanted back child support. They was trying to get him to send a sample DNA also. I forgot who she claimed her GROWN ASS kids father was.
I will admit I've read some of those twitter-rants on Huffingtonpost and they're pretty damn funny. My fav is:
@TEAMBIEBERMANE
Mariah Yeater is pregnant with Justin's baby? Wait, hold on. Tupac is calling me.
Submitted by M.E. on Thu, 11/03/2011 - 11:06am.
May I please ask WTF is with taking "sessy" pics of yourself.......IN THE FUCKING BATHROOM?
Every damn person you see with a self taken wanna be sexy pic it's in the damn bathroom.
FOR WHY?????????????????
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Because that's where the mirror is.
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Submitted by stinkbutt on Mon, 03/29/2010 - 5:47pm.
suckandfuck, do us all a favor, and hang yourself. Oh, and your parents should be shot for raising a disgusting pig like yourself.
As a friend stated yesterday: "Bieber has a 10 inch cock...it's attached to Usher and it's in his ass but it's his!"
http://youtu.be/i9WOdnR-Nfs
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I'm not a living legend. I'm just a myth.
Whamo - girls with this shape seem to be the norm these days. They're the ones I see walking down the street with half shirts and 2 sizes too small jeans with their ginormous muffin top billowing over.
I DON'T GET IT!
I was caught up in my schadenfreude about this whole situation, hoping the kid really was the beav's so it would put a nail in the coffin of his career, but after seeing this twat's fugly mug, I'm now convinced that he is not the father. He's dating Selena Gomez and she's beautiful -- there's no way he'd even tip-toe near this ugly trollop.
Well I can certainly see why he'd be all over that. BwhaaaHA.
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SubAmitted by DirtyWhoreMouth on Sat, 06/11/2011 - 9:32am.
It's ok to be a redneck by the way.. just don't yell git 'er done because we all hate that.
Really those litte tard fans are stupid. Death threats really??? As if that little twink really LOVES them at all...just yer money bitches!
May I please ask WTF is with taking "sessy" pics of yourself.......IN THE FUCKING BATHROOM?
Every damn person you see with a self taken wanna be sexy pic it's in the damn bathroom.
FOR WHY?????????????????
Submitted by ditquoi on Thu, 11/03/2011 - 10:49am.
The adult in me says, EW - haha. Too girly. The adult in me knows now it's all about Donnie! Or his hot older brother - Marky Mark!
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You really have to side clap and pucker for a piece who can stand next to a white feather and out-gay it. - MK 8/3/2011
Submitted by M.E. on Thu, 11/03/2011 - 10:47am.
Please put your wide ass hips away
Word. That is a really unfortunate body shape she's got, and the worst place to accumulate fat - because what few exercises there are for lower abs/obliques take several hours of effort just to see a small difference.
MK, will you marry me already? I will only marry someone who makes me laugh and you do it daily. DO IT!! HAHAAA. Well, I have a literal comedian friend, but he's married already and he gives me weed, lol.
These Bieber fans understand they're no less crazy than this bitch, right?
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Try to be original, like the Colonel Sanders (may he rest in peace with his secret spices and shit). - urmomma
lol my roommate in college slept with him :D
How was he?
♩♪♫♬♩♪♫♬♩♪♫♬♩♪♫♬♩♪♫♬♩♪♫♬♩♪♫♬
Rrridiaouw woo oo rrri-ou!
Hmm.
Blonde hair?
Check.
Butter-ish face?
Check.
Flabby body with two boobs attached?
Check.
She's obviously every hetero 15 year old's dream girl.
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A beauty that makes abuelitas pray for our sinful souls is my kind of beauty. -MK 9/12/11
YAAAAAAASS! -Sage Khia
M.E. ikr - wtf is going on with her hips?? Did Jaws hit her from both sides? Are her legs detachable? That is some funky concave hip action.
I really blame Usher and Timberlake for all of this bullsh*t. Both of them saw this little wanker on YouTube and got into some kind of bidding war to see who could sign him to their label and Usher won. Had these two dorks not been trolling YouTube for little boys to bone, we'd never had heard of Justin Bullethead.
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www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org