Retha & Catfish Are Getting Married!
All of you need to do what Aretha Franklin's 8th world wonder chichis are doing in that picture above by hitting the ground to pay tribute to her and Catfish's love. After years and years of nearly drowning in her endless sea of chichis by motorboating without an anchor, Aretha's "forever friend" William "Catfish" Wilkerson has finally slipped a ring on her skinny ass finger and asked to become her third husband. People has the details from the lips of Retha and her rep about the wedding of the year:
The iconic singer, 69, and Wilkerson are discussing tying the knot on Miami Beach, with an exclusive reception aboard a private yacht.And for her dress?
"Ms. Franklin is considering Donna Karan, Valentino and the queen of wedding dresses, Vera Wang, to design her gown," says her rep.
Adds Franklin herself of the upcoming nuptials: "We're looking at June or July for our date and no, I'm not pregnant, LOL!"
Last year, millions of nipple slits made a frown when Aretha Franklin was hospitalized with some kind of "mysterious illness," so I'm going to turn off my bitch switch for a quick second and throw out a calorie-free congratulations to the soon to be Mrs. Catfish! Wait. That's why Retha's marrying his ass. Since she has to stay away from fried catfish to keep her new body, she figures if you can't beat 'em, take their name. Go on, Mrs. Catfish!
Submitted by TheBreakdown on Mon, 01/02/2012 - 10:04pm.
"And what are YOU tricks looking like these days?!"
I, for one, am drop dead gorgeous.
*prays to every god in the universe that TheBreakdown has no means to check the accuracy of this statement*
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"We are here on earth to do good for others.
What the others are here for, I don't know."
W.H. Auden
overheard: "She's as ugly as a mud-fence, bless her heart."
And for her dress?
"Ms. Franklin is considering Donna Karan, Valentino and the queen of wedding dresses, Vera Wang, to design her gown," says her rep.
"Each designer has been asked to submit their best six designs, fully finished, which will then all be sewed together to create Ms. Franklin's final gown".
Submitted by snowpiece on Wed, 07/08/2009 - 5:00pm.
Karen Flatts is always a cunt
I actually get embarrassed for Mick Jagger and Steven Tyler now, You are in your fucking 60's, put AWAY the leather pants. And their faces look awful.
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Your faith in me brings me to tears
Even after all these years in
And it pains me so much to tell
That you don't know me that well
-Nelly Furtado
Submitted by parissucksliterally on Mon, 01/02/2012 - 10:24pm.
I actually get embarrassed for Mick Jagger and Steven Tyler now, You are in your
fucking 60's, put AWAY the leather pants. And their faces look awful.
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I think if they were no longer selling out HUGE shows like they do, maybe playing fairs and such, then I think it would be embarrassing. I mean, look at Journey. C'mon. (I bet if Steven Perry was still with them than they'd be a lot bigger than what they are. Even though I will say, they were one of the top 25 profiting tours in 2011)
But, to me, if you're still able to sell out 20, 40, 60k onlooker stadiums?? Then go for it! Steven and Mick can still tear up a stage, vocally and physically. (even with a spin off the side on occasion, lol-hell, I fell off the stage in my 20's). =p
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"I wanted to be a trophy wife, but that never worked out.". MK
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Does Vera have cup support in her dress trains?
Congrats to Aretha and her man. I hope they have a long marriage because she deserves it.
And what are YOU tricks looking like these days?!
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Facebook: Triston Negreaux
http://www.myspace.com/triston
ask me how to subscribe to Heaux Confessionals©
Vera Wang could use the positive publicity after the Kim debacle...
Well, I guess yes a reception aboard a boat would be private.
Submitted by Meatblocks on Mon, 01/02/2012 - 6:23pm.
geez, she's just a singer.
++=++++++++++++++
AF is also a brilliant pianist.
What's going on here? He looks about 40. And she areala needs to fix the boob problem. But other than that. Yay for them.
.
.
Well, we always knew The Fabulous Miss Aretha Franklin needed a stylist (except for her Obama inaugeration hat.) However, she is working the bazooma cantilever just fine, you guys are plain mean if you think her magnificent chi-chis are too low.
What I want to know is, is this Catfish guy the undertaker from Real House hos of Atlanta? I just saw the episode where Phaededederaaaaa tactfully buried her great aunt, looks like the same guy to me.
*chanting as always*
"I feel the burn it must be Vern" PERKY 2011
@ Tequila Tax, my mom found her true love at 50. True story. *sits on hope bench with you*
Diva done RIGHT. Congrats to the Queen of Soul and her man. :)
Good for them, I hope they're happy.
geez, she's just a singer.
when your tits can double for a fire-escape, there is no shame in noticing. -they could save a life.
i hope for her sake that this is no guest/minelli or gay-al/star-jones type of union.
*peddles off in a mint '88 yugo*
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kei83nNbrFY&feature=related
Aretha can do no wrong, so this gets a thumbs up from me. Altho he looks a little bit derp in the face. How old is he?
I love her, and ain't nuthin you whores can say to change that!
Migraineuse, I totally hear what you are saying.
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"The universe is made of stories, not atoms."
Muriel Rukeyser, poet
Submitted by TequilaTax on Mon, 01/02/2012 - 5:25pm.
Submitted by Momus the Sarcastic on Mon, 01/02/2012 - 5:11pm.
Ms. Franklin needs a breast-reduction/breast-lift stat. Her bewbs hang so low that they cover her navel.
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If she is happy with her body, why would she need that sort of operation? In order to please everyone else she'd have to get a face life, lipo, a thinner nose and a weave. And people would still poke fun at her.
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Because large pendulous breasts can cause damage to the back and ribcage due to stress on the tendons and ligaments. Queen Latifah had such surgery because of back and ribcage problems.
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“It does not do to leave a live dragon out of your calculations, if you live near him.” J.R.R. Tolkein
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Submitted by parissucksliterally on Mon, 01/02/2012 - 5:42pm
Not really. I think if she wore some of the bras out there on the market, her shoulders would hurt more.
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He kinda reminds me of Ron Jeremy, but...not as classy! - Submitted by david Letterman
Besides, it's just marriage! Who in the hell takes that shit seriously? - Michael K
okay, here it goes. Agreed that just because you're rich you don't have to be beautiful (although I would not call Aretha an ugly woman at all)but that whole boobs around your waist thing is ridiculous! Her back, overall health and insanely awful look alone mean if she has a "real" friend in this world they will take her aside and give her a come to jesus. That is just crazy that she has to worry about catching a tit on her belt.
OT, but... Brandi Glanville got remarried over the weekend? And they are getting it annulled ASAP.... What a fucking insult to the "sanctity" of marriage. Fuck that.
http://www.nydailynews.com/gossip/brandi-glanville-marries-darin-harvey-...
Educate yourself on the badass, not-fuck-giving honeybadger, Olivia! ~MK
Is that with or without a bra? Danb urethra! Pick dem babies up
Submitted by Migraineuse on Mon, 01/02/2012 - 4:31pm.
Click here to see a truly unfortunate boob situation that will never be written about on most celebrity blogs because they're too busy ripping women apart.
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(Vomits on keyboard and falls on ground). Is he on hormones?
Her back must hurt a lot.
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Your faith in me brings me to tears
Even after all these years in
And it pains me so much to tell
That you don't know me that well
-Nelly Furtado
Congratulations,Miss Thing!
A woman with that much talent-and the career,awards and money to show for it-need not be beautiful. As far as I'm concerned, Aretha Franklin one of America's great vocalists, and since she and I will never have lunch together, I don't care if she's a high -riding bitch. Minor bitches like Madonna think about Aretha when they touch themselves.
Submitted by jussayin on Mon, 01/02/2012 - 5:25
Yes on both counts.
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He kinda reminds me of Ron Jeremy, but...not as classy! - Submitted by david Letterman
Besides, it's just marriage! Who in the hell takes that shit seriously? - Michael K
MRS. URETHRA FLEA MARKET MONTGOMERY?????????????????????
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FJ3oHpup-pk
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Submitted by stinkbutt on Mon, 03/29/2010 - 5:47pm.
suckandfuck, do us all a favor, and hang yourself. Oh, and your parents should be shot for raising a disgusting pig like yourself.
He looks like a dollar store Billy Dee Williams. I just hope he shows her some R-E-S-P-E-C-T!
all together now!
do yer tits hang low
do they wobble to and fro...
Submitted by jussayin on Mon, 01/02/2012 - 5:25pm.
all together now!
do yer tits hang low
do they wobble to and fro...
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Ha ha! Love it!
Can you tie 'em in a knot,
Can you tie 'em in a bow
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"I wanted to be a trophy wife, but that never worked out.". MK
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Submitted by Momus the Sarcastic on Mon, 01/02/2012 - 5:11pm.
Ms. Franklin needs a breast-reduction/breast-lift stat. Her bewbs hang so low that they cover her navel.
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If she is happy with her body, why would she need that sort of operation? In order to please everyone else she'd have to get a face life, lipo, a thinner nose and a weave. And people would still poke fun at her.
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He kinda reminds me of Ron Jeremy, but...not as classy! - Submitted by david Letterman
Besides, it's just marriage! Who in the hell takes that shit seriously? - Michael K
This gives me hope that it's not to late for me to find a nice guy.
Congrats on you Ms. Franklin. Hope this one last.
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He kinda reminds me of Ron Jeremy, but...not as classy! - Submitted by david Letterman
Besides, it's just marriage! Who in the hell takes that shit seriously? - Michael K
I hope the wedding vendors get their money up front. Retha has a long and storied reputation for not paying her bills.
Regarding her udders, I think she has a serious case of Cooper's Droop.
Yes, those do hang unnaturally low. Still, I hope she's not too terribly sick... Aretha's crazy but she's a fucking awesome singer.
"The only money shot you'll get is a load of tears to the face." MK
Ms. Franklin needs a breast-reduction/breast-lift stat. Her bewbs hang so low that they cover her navel.
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“It does not do to leave a live dragon out of your calculations, if you live near him.” J.R.R. Tolkein
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Congrats to them. I can't imagine having a chest large enough to be affected by the moon. It appears to be low tide.
whichever designer re re decides to go with, i hope they design something that lifts those massive titties up to their full glory...
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"The thing women have yet to learn is nobody gives you power. You just take it." --
Roseanne Barr
Congratulations to Ms. Franklin and Mr. Wilkerson.
Now go away and be quiet.
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“It does not do to leave a live dragon out of your calculations, if you live near him.” J.R.R. Tolkein
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Submitted by whippersnapper on Mon, 01/02/2012 - 4:11pm.
Aretha's head looks incredibly tiny.
Kind of like that guy from Beetlejuice.
I have a sudden craving for some of my grandma's fried catfish now.
Oh wait, "grandma's fried catfish" sounds like that's code for something wrong, just very wrong.
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I ate my Grandmas fried catfish last night and now I have a tummy ache...
b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b
"I'm doin hoe activities, with hoe tendencies. Hoes are my friends, hoes are my enemies."
She should've asked for a tittay reduction to go with her gastric bypass.
I would think that seeing Aretha naked would have the same effect as doing 10 tours in Vietnam on the front lines....some PTSD shit you aint neeevvvver commin back from!
b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b
"I'm doin hoe activities, with hoe tendencies. Hoes are my friends, hoes are my enemies."
LMFAO at IG!...
*donates grandma's lace table cloth for the ceremonial gown*
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The difficult brown?! I think we're all done here. -MK
Submitted by Migraineuse on Mon, 01/02/2012 - 4:31pm.
Click here to see a truly unfortunate boob situation that will never be written about on most celebrity blogs because they're too busy ripping women apart.
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Holy JEBUS. Yes, that is unfortunate.
Click here to see a truly unfortunate boob situation that will never be written about on most celebrity blogs because they're too busy ripping women apart.
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"This is so over the top the director must be a Sherpa." -- Who Datt
Submitted by Migraineuse on Mon, 01/02/2012 - 4:31pm.
Click here to see a truly unfortunate boob situation that will never be written about
on most celebrity blogs because they're too busy ripping women apart.
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Lol...poor Steven.
I just KNEW that link was going to be to that TMZ article. They've been giving my ST shit all day. Idc...he can still rock the shit outta a stadium. (as I'm sure of Ms Franklin).
Steven Tyler and Mick Jagger are two BAD ASS rockin' pepaws!!! {o:
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"I wanted to be a trophy wife, but that never worked out.". MK
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Congrats Ms. Aretha! Get it! (With a prenup, of course)
I just discovered her rendition of Nessun Dorma from the 1998 Grammys. Amazing: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_6WW6TXPdPw
Oh, no! A woman's body is exceeding tolerable limits!
STONE HER!!
No woman will escape unpunished!
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"This is so over the top the director must be a Sherpa." -- Who Datt
Dear Lord. It looks like she is slowly melting.
Do you think that these guys have all kinds of different sex? I always wonder about it when 60+ people get married.
And congrats to them!
I didn't know there was DNA in my ass!