Madge Crosses Her Claws For An Oscar Nom And We All Know How That Turned Out
At last night's NYC premiere of the soon-to-be Razzie sweeper W.E., Madge told reporters that she was crossing her fingers and hoping that the academy would be so fearful of her wrath that they'd throw a bunch of nominations at her. Cut to this morning when she woke up in her coffin with a giant bouquet of hydrangeas on top and a note from the academy that read: Thanks, but no thanks. Okay, okay, technically W.E. was nominated for an Oscar (for Best Costume), so I guess the male members of the academy are still a little scared that Madge will crawl up into their beds at night, rip their nutsacks out with one bite and then replace the heads on the Oscar trophies with their gold-plated huevos.
For once, I can't really make fun of the shit that Madge wore to her premiere last night (or the shit she wore while escorting Baby Brahim to his nursery for bedtime). Bitch looks like the evil queen double fisting two tutu-wearing ballerinas. It's totally appropriate! Speaking of fisting, I also can't make fun of Madge's (DO NOT CLICK ON THAT NSFL LINK!!!) veiny testicle hands for once. I thought about it and if I was ever in the market for a silicone fist, I'd buy one modeled after Madge's hand. Four words: Veiny For Your Pleasure. I mean, John Travolta so wants to make sweet love to Madge's hand right now.
The testicle didn't bother me, but the bellybutton is going to give me nightmares.
Datura, I read that the veinyness (vainyness? *smirk*) is because M & AJ have lost so much weight.
Come on ladies, you KNOW you want to scrub your tongue on those road map testies..lol!!!!!!!
ok that is a really delicious looking testicle, like moist macaroni
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Submitted by stinkbutt on Mon, 03/29/2010 - 5:47pm.
suckandfuck, do us all a favor, and hang yourself. Oh, and your parents should be shot for raising a disgusting pig like yourself.
She needs a hand intervention.
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Submitted by DirtyWhoreMouth on Sat, 06/11/2011 - 9:32am.
It's ok to be a redneck by the way.. just don't yell git 'er done because we all hate that.
ubmitted by Sweetas on Tue, 01/24/2012 - 1:04pm.
DON'T CLICK. BE STRONG!
ITA, about the suit, but I hate to admit, I kind of like the bow tie. *shame face*
Oh. My. God.
Her hands.
That is disgusting. She's officially got old lady hands.
Don't do it Sweetas!
AHHHHHHHHH AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I CLICKED ON THE LINK OMFG! MK YOU SICK BASTARD!
*nails my mouse to the desk* FUCK YOU LINK, QUIT TAUNTING ME!!! Will. Not. This. Time.
I like her hair, and her face is looking fabulous, and the grey suit is really cute (lose the stupid bow tie please). But those HANDS!! *shiver* Please, get some tinted moisturizer or something. Those veins are popping because (a) she doesn't have any body fat and (b) she works out constantly which means her muscles need increased blood flow.
WTF - should know better than to click.
Submitted by guest on Tue, 01/24/2012 - 12:54pm.
Mike...define old. *taps cane* lol.
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Older than me :)
Mike...define old. *taps cane* lol.
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Submitted by DirtyWhoreMouth on Sat, 06/11/2011 - 9:32am.
It's ok to be a redneck by the way.. just don't yell git 'er done because we all hate that.
I CLICKED ON THE LINK!!!!
" hides in closet, clutching cross'
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Screw you guys, I'm going home!
she could always get some fat injected into her hands to plump them up a bit but she doesn't have any fat anymore. I wonder if Juvederm would work?
anyway her bowtie's crooked and that throws the whole grey suit thing off for me. also, it's january and she's in open toed shoes. O_o
Haha, love how on that link there's an option to Download Image. Because that's one everybody wants to save.
I saw Fedora!
She looks better in the suit. I too, hate Marchesa because not only is it tacky, it screams MARCHESA! I still think Madonna is trying way to hard these days. I liked it a few years ago when she was wearing the simple dresses from her H&M line.
As far as the hands, I'm 45 and have had problems with excema (could never spell it) on my hands for my whole life so I can't hate. My pet peeve is a crepey decolletage situation. All the Kennedy women have it. You must moisturize, use sunblock and protect that area. My breasts aren't perky (get a good bra Lindsay) but my neck and decolletage are lovely.
There's a Billy Wilder picture called "Fedora" which concerns an ageing actress who can retain youth everywhere but her hands. If "Lifetime" did a remake, Madge could stand around in the lead role.
WTF DID I JUST CLICK ON??????
*runs screaming*
notice how in all the pics with BB she is hiding her claws?
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"That's what Jesus would do. Give you a blunt when you're down." MK
"I'm from the New Jersey where we say "AYY! FUCKA YOUA PIZZA PIE!!!" " Sucky
Submitted by Gardening Girl on Tue, 01/24/2012 - 12:41pm.
mike, but would you let her touch you with THOSE hands!
Wha? I didn't say she looks hot. I just think the haircut suits her. I think old women look better with short hair.
Cut to this morning when she woke up in her coffin with a giant bouquet of hydrangeas on top
HAHAHAHA!
Submitted by guest
Like the gray suit.
Me too.
The dress is fug. Looking at the hair and dress, me thinks she was trying to go with some 30's type of look here...to go matchy matchy with WE
I really respect Madonna for constantly striving for more and never resting on her laurels. She's been trying to break into films for a long time and gets crapped-on every time, but she won't give up. And the fact that she's hopeful for an Oscar tells me that even if she's delusional, she's at least very proud of her work. These are traits of truly happy people. As such, she is an inspiration.
The hands. What does one do about this? Maybe she doesn't manicure for fear of drawing more attention to them?
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"I have a very poor way of concealing my dislike of people and/or things." -- Evil_Cupcake's Mom
Why did I click??? Cant get the image out of my head
:-(
I do Pagents!
Has there ever been a year where both husband and wife were nominated?
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Uh yes - Brad Pitt for Benjamin Button and Jolie for that awful Clint Eastwood film although they are not married.
Submitted by Satans Panties on Tue, 01/24/2012 - 12:35pm.
As IF this witch ever had a chance. I'm sad that Jolie was locked out but it's not surprising. Has there ever been a year where both husband and wife were nominated?
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You REALLY think that is why Jolie wasn't nominated?
BTW, these two aren't husband and wife but in answer to your question, Susan Sarandon was nominated and won for Dead Man Walking the same year her then-partner, Tim Robbins, was nominated. (He was the director and producer of DMW.)
Oh, and Annette Benning was nominated for BSA for "Bugsy" and then-finacee, now husband, Warren Beatty was nominated for the same movie.
Therefore, your theory just fell to pieces.
Is her hair cut or is it just rolled under? If its cut then lord help the woman- blunt cuts make her look like a linebacker and the age/height doesn’t help…. And that sheer fabric is very unforgiving. Bottom pix are a huge improvement.
eWWWWWW..I clicked the link.
And can't she spray some tan magic or something over those nasty ass hands? Or get a hand transplant. I mean really, what does she even do with her hands to make them look like THAT? She looks she's been washing dishes for 85 years straight.
mike, but would you let her touch you with THOSE hands!
EWWWWWW! given her face, Madge must have a 24/7 staff searching all over the world for someone who can calk those mittens back into something humanoid looking.
What causes the veins to pop out like that? Genetics? I used to think it was a sign of dehydration, but Madonna's (and Angelina's) veins always seem to be raging out.
That dress is awful, but the suit looks nice on her (even with the tacky bow tie).
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Masturbation is not a GD game of Clue, there is no reason to head to the broom closet with a rope and a lead pipe. –michelleb
Like the gray suit.
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Submitted by DirtyWhoreMouth on Sat, 06/11/2011 - 9:32am.
It's ok to be a redneck by the way.. just don't yell git 'er done because we all hate that.
I feel about Madonna's hands the same way I feel about SJP's; an atrocity to my eyes.
As IF this witch ever had a chance. I'm sad that Jolie was locked out but it's not surprising. Has there ever been a year where both husband and wife were nominated? No. I am wishing Pitt wins but if I was betting $$$ I'd put it on Clooney. Remember when Chiniston won some Mickey Mouse award and she had the bloody conceit to say "Oscar's next!" HA HA HA HA HA HA . . . waiting, waiting, waiting . . .
I don't get why she wouldn't at least try to manicure those gnarly hands. I see why she wears gloves often.
*shudder*
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Douchechill!
Someone needs to close down Marchesa's doors stat. I KNOW Georgina is married to that fat troll, Weinstein, BUT should fashion have to now be so costumey and tacky just because he forces 90% of the women who are sucking his dick to wear tacky Marchesa frocks on the red carpet to promote his trophy wife's business?
Enough is enough, Marchesa sux! This Madonna monstrosity is a perfect example of POOR TASTE!
I CAN'T with Baby Brahim, mostly because he looks like he could be my little brother.
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Douchechill!
If those are her real hands...ew. & WTH is that in that link??? *scarred for life*
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Submitted by DirtyWhoreMouth on Sat, 06/11/2011 - 9:32am.
It's ok to be a redneck by the way.. just don't yell git 'er done because we all hate that.
Look at her fucking pinky!!!
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"That's what Jesus would do. Give you a blunt when you're down." MK
"I'm from the New Jersey where we say "AYY! FUCKA YOUA PIZZA PIE!!!" " Sucky
HAAAAAAAAAAHA...I clicked on the veiny testicle and it was sending me telepathic messages and drained all the thoughts from my brain.
ohhhh I was so hoping you would make a post just like this : )
I kinda like her hair like that.