Vanessa Paradis Is Sick Of Answering All Your Questions!
Vanessa Paradis, seen here looking Johnny Depp's Mad Hatter after tanning and a brow pluck, is doing press for her new movie Cafe de Flore around Paris and all reporters were told to keep questions about her personal life inside of their mouths or she'd nibble their eyes out with her reverse Jack O' Lantern grill. The hosts at the French radio station Europe 1 (via DM) didn't listen to that warning and asked Vanessa about the rumors that VaJohnny is now lying next to the grave of Heidi & Seal's marriage. Vanessa didn't confirm, deny or even open a beer bottle with her gap and down all the sweet nectar before breaking the bottle on the host's head. Vanessa only said this:
"You know, when I eat three peas, I'm pregnant. When I visit a city, I'm buying a house. In the winter I separate, in the summer I marry. It's been fifteen years since I've been getting married every year. In addition I have to answer all these rumors!"
Oh, Vanessa, it is SO HARD for you having to answer all those questions. SO HARD. My sympathies would be with you at this difficult question-asking time, but I've already sent them out to something that really needs them today: Michael Fassbender's big dick for not getting an Oscar nomination.
Whenever somebody asks Vanessa a question she doesn't want to answer, she should put on a pastel polo shirt, warm up her voice and then give us what we all really want. THIS:
Seriously, every question should be answered with Joe Le Taxi.
THE ONLY REASON JOHNNY GOT WITH A FRENCH WOMAN IS BECAUSE HE WANTED HALF FRENCH BABIES SINCE HE WAS SO OBSESSED WITH JACK KEROUAC WHO'S PARENTS WHERE FRENCH...
Who is this nasty meth head? Did she steal a flat screen from WalMart??
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P.S. If you have money, there is NO excuse to have fucked up teeth and NO a gap looks stupid (except Lauren Hutton gets a free pass) otherwise, bond that shit up!
I said good day.
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"Shut up, bitch - it hurts to be beautiful" - Richie K. 2005
I have never heard of her before today.
Submitted by Das ist ein Dreck on Tue, 01/24/2012 - 11:57pm.
same goes for myself! i like real teeth over veneers or dentures anyday. that gap, however, is extremely huge and just doesn't look pretty.
i myself am very critical of my own teeth so i am not hating on her or anything. her teeth are ok in my book.
'We are responsible for what we do unless we are celebrities.'
Submitted by Sweetas on Tue, 01/24/2012 - 4:25pm.
I'll bet she can spit watermelon seeds like a tommy gun! RATATATATAT!! Skills.
You made me choke, AND get diet coke on my laptop.
That visual is going to be stuck in my head forever. Shit man.Too funny.
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I've written a letter to MK...saying...I...love...youuuuuu.
Submitted by Haribo on Tue, 01/24/2012 - 11:33pm.
she's pretty but the gap...i just don't like it. lol if i were her i'd fix that shit. teeth change your appearance so much (for the better).
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I like to disagree with a vengeance. Getting SO tired with all these cookie cutter smile bitches who seem to have not one single genuine tooth in their mouths like Katherine Heigl. I want distinct in a womans smile.
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You got a lot of money, but you can't afford the freeway
she's pretty but the gap...i just don't like it. lol if i were her i'd fix that shit. teeth change your appearance so much (for the better).
'We are responsible for what we do unless we are celebrities.'
Vanessa has always been gorgeous, even in recent interviews. But please no more HD closeups! NO ONE looks good like that! Aging normally. Does she smoke?
Her gap is like Crawford's mole. Makes her distinct. I can see why she kept it. :)
"The only money shot you'll get is a load of tears to the face." MK
Cafe de Flore is a good flick - I recommend it.
Well she's a shoo in for a part on The Walking Dead.
...Phantom of the Paradis...yamahama...eek...
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...'She’s a really nice person and I have great respect for her as an actress — and I think most actresses are c*nts with a capital K' - Mickey Rourke...
She reminds me of this shriveled up old ho I used to work with. What a bitch. Actually, she was French too, but I won't hate on the French who helped us win independence.
Shriveled up, bad-toothed, arrogant hag. These two are like Pomeranian dogs who are tiny, not that cute but think they own the fricken runway.
.
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Ah, Princesse Stephanie: hot in that hermy 80s way, long before she hit her 40s and began to look like a senior citizen!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=29P2l9dKoI0
Vanessa is very French looking: not-so-great teeth, super petite, chiseled bone structure, meh skin from too much smoking and not enough sun screen, wearing expensive but hobo-ish clothes... I don't find her attractive but I can see why someone with intellectual/artsy pretensions would.
I was folding towels and saw her exact mouth on my son's spongebob towel!
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Brevity may be the soul of wit, but to twit without wit is soulless -- Johanne Savoie
LOL...MK has mad visual skills!! Depp totally modeled his Mad Hatter image on Vanessa Paradis! That gap and green googlie eyes....An ode to his beloved. That's some fucked up shit there.
One of my earliest memories is watching her sing Joe Le taxi on top of the pops and being totally enamoured. I adore her. She is way too good for Johnny Depp.
I do Pagents!
how could her and johnny part ways? these two are one in the same.. both look they need a nice shower.. and look like they stink to high heaven. the look of "dirty" grosses me out
omg has she always looked this horrible?
Good call MK, she has morphed into Johnny Depp as a Tim Burton character. A little "Lauren Hutton in her hey day" gap is cute. The driveway between Vanessa's tobacky stained corn is nasty.
Errr she looks old as fuck for 39.
Girlfriend looks like she has a lisp. And I agree... she's FUG .
It's fucked up looking when you can see your tongue in-between your teeth.
Agree. Back in the day she was hot. Even hotter with her mouth shut and lips together. Now she has shitty makeup, waay less eye makeup and some powder on her skin might help. Her clothes look like something a homeless person might have on after a salvation army donation. Isn't aging well. Not hating on her for not wanting to answer questions about her probable breakup.
Submitted by Datura on Tue, 01/24/2012 - 2:42pm.
Submitted by Deb on Tue, 01/24/2012 - 2:19pm.
I may get flambeed for this, but French pop music is awful. I spent over a week in southern France last September, and tried, I really TRIED to like the music on the radio, but it was awful. The French do so many things magnificently, and I believe French is the most beautiful language on earth. Hell, I studied it for 6 years. I speak it. But NO to the pop.
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Aww. That makes me sad. There's a lot of great French pop, but there's also a LOT of tripe (as there is on English-language pop stations).
Imagine you're new to America and you turn on the radio: you'll hear a rotation of Katy Perry, Nickleback, and Kesha. It's the same with the French popular music. The shitty stuff is always overplayed.
I'd recommend Zazie, Camille, Keren Ann, Matthieu Chedid (called "M"), Thomas Dutronc (son of Jacques Dutronc and Francoise Hardy), Gainsbourg stuff from the 60's and 70's for a start. I think their music can be enjoyed even if you don't understand French.
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Don't forget France Gall!! That 60s and 70s pop she did was magnificent!
She actually looks hot in this vid:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QLaq5usTJrg
Other than that, it appears her gap has gotten bigger or it's just natural aging making it look bigger.
Submitted by Hekki on Tue, 01/24/2012 - 4:50pm.
Jolie laide.
I've seen her look beautiful. There, she looks methy.
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I agree. That's an atrocious pic of her. She can look beautiful.
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the comparison of vanessa to charlize in monster is spot on! LLS!
'We are responsible for what we do unless we are celebrities.'
I was right!! Sandra Bernhardt & Madonna DID have a child together. Pauvre petite....elle est tres laide.
Jolie laide.
I've seen her look beautiful. There, she looks methy.
Do they have any dentists in France?
I'll bet she can spit watermelon seeds like a tommy gun! RATATATATAT!! Skills.
Actually before I got braces I had a gap too (not that big but still), which I liked. Lauren Hutton sports one beautifully and Madonna did for years. I think she'd look much prettier with less severe make-up.
Submitted by catwoman on Tue, 01/24/2012 - 4:10pm.
Christ she's ugly. What was she doing with such a hot piece of fuck me like Johnny Depp?
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Is there a rule that says "ugly" people are not allowed to be with hot people?
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He kinda reminds me of Ron Jeremy, but...not as classy! - Submitted by david Letterman
Besides, it's just marriage! Who in the hell takes that shit seriously? - Michael K
Christ she's ugly. What was she doing with such a hot piece of fuck me like Johnny Depp?
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You dumb bitch, I am home.-MK
I think I am also a donkey. I do not know what happened when I left the bar, but I am seriously in love with the donkey.
Vanessa honey, people are only being polite. What they're really asking is it okay to start hitting on Johnny. No hate here.
She's too fucking skinny. That is why she looks like a hag.
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And each time I feel like this inside,
There's one thing I wanna know:
What's so funny 'bout peace love & understanding?
how do you talk with a gap this HUGE between your teeth???! lisping much??
'We are responsible for what we do unless we are celebrities.'
are we sure those aren't just pics of depp in drag? seriously, she looks like one of tim burton's characters...
Datura - it's a massive difference isn't it? A big credit to Matthieu Chedid. I had a huge girl crush on Vanessa when I first saw her in Details in 1992. I just loved her look. The pout seems so silly now, though!
Submitted by Fucking_Classy on Tue, 01/24/2012 - 1:56pm.
She's a typical model... stunning in editorials, plain/weird in real life.
http://beautifulbeats.files.wordpress.com/2010/09/vanessa-paradis-vogue-...
http://www.shinystyle.tv/wp-content/gallery/lagerfeld039s-women-vanessa-...
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You mean "stunning with a week's worth of intensive photoshop correction, so the image bears absolutely no resemblance to her actual face".
Shit, *I* could be a model with that much P-shop! Anyone could. She's practically a cartoon character in that first pic you posted.
Thanks, GG!
On topic: I don't blame Vanessa for not wanting to talk about her personal life. Yes, she is an entertainer, but she doesn't over-expose herself or her family. Frankly, it's refreshing to see someone who DOESN'T want to air her/his dirty laundry to the press.
"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson
Submitted by Suzy Farkis on Tue, 01/24/2012 - 3:14pm.
It kills me that she now looks like that when at 21 she looked like this:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fmsx_bbuIC8
She was going out with Lenny Kravitz then and he produced her US album Be My Baby. Hard to believe he was behind it. I've always loved Vanessa despite her music sucking until Divinidylle.
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I've always liked her too. I think she's a very talented actress, but I agree about her music. Divinidylle was great because it was mostly written by Matthieu Chedid. He also wrote the only really good song ("Pourtant") on her previous record.
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Masturbation is not a GD game of Clue, there is no reason to head to the broom closet with a rope and a lead pipe. –michelleb
Basically, it's out with "Kate Moss 2.0" and in with a younger model. Or maybe VaJohnny will go back to the original slag?
We shall see.
It kills me that she now looks like that when at 21 she looked like this:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fmsx_bbuIC8
She was going out with Lenny Kravitz then and he produced her US album Be My Baby. Hard to believe he was behind it. I've always loved Vanessa despite her music sucking until Divinidylle.
Eh, I think she is attractive. At least she isn't Botoxed and had so much plastic surgery that her own DNA doesn't recognise her.
I think she looks A LOT better than Depp's old flame, Kate Moss.
Vanny is one of the most beautiful creatures ever to walk this earth, get over the tooth gap, and for her, as some genius here mentioned, getting "old". What world are you living in, i. e. care to face the mirror in the morning? Gal has to promote a movie and is not allowed to for everybody harrassing her for her private problems. Go and hate someplace else. Team Vanny.
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Auri sacra fames
I get the mothball packets at our local market. Try looking were the cleaners are. They can make the room smell like old lady but you can just put a few on it to see how it works for you. Good news is spring will be hear and you can open a window:D
I wouldn't ask why they are breaking up, I would ask why he stayed with her for so long. Blech, that face! And that's with makeup! Imagine what that looks like first thing in the morning, no makeup or photoshop, and with morning breff!!!
Ugh.
Submitted by Gardening Girl on Tue, 01/24/2012 - 3:00pm.
Uh oh, you have cats...try putting those mothball packets on it and under it. My cats hate them so it might work for you.
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Thanks for the tip, GG. I've never seen the mothball packets. Will they make the whole livingroom reek? Where can I get them?
"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson
Uh oh, you have cats...try putting those mothball packets on it and under it. My cats hate them so it might work for you.
Submitted by Deb on Tue, 01/24/2012 - 2:54pm.
At least it is getting taken care of.
Sucks though, to wait more time, but better that then a stain!
@GG, the delivery guys were in and out like lightning, and spoke little or no inglese.
The stain is the size of a dime, on the right armrest. A pillow was atop it. I called to report the stain like 10 minutes after the delivery guys left. It'll be ok. I'm just praying the cats don't scratch it!
"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson