Monday, February 13th 2012

Let's Start With A Prayer From Ladies Love Cool James

LL Cool J opened the Grammys last night by asking the audience to tip the ego globes on their necks while he said a prayer for Whitney Houston. This reminded my ass of when I was dragged to church as a kid and was forced to bow my head during prayer times. I'd split my "bowing head" time between counting the lines on my red corduroy pants (yes, I wore red in church like a true sinful hussy-in-training), wondering if my mom would let me order that chocolate smiley face pancake at iHOP for breakfast and using my up-eye to see who else was slipping into a boredom coma like me. I didn't see any hos doing this during LL's prayer, but I did see Mitch Winehouse and Tony Bennett keeping their heads up in a sea of bowing domes. Tony's head was too high with weed smoke (pepaw loves the good shit) to pull it down and Mitch was wondering where the hell the Jewish blessing for Amy Winehouse was? Or maybe it's because they're Jewish. Or maybe it's because they're just like me, watching LL Cool J slurp on his lips while reciting a prayer is a much more spiritual experience than bowing my head.

And presented without shade, here's JHud's tribute to Whitney.

Okay, maybe just a drop of shade. This would've been so much better if Kevin Costner carried Dolly Parton on stage during the middle of JHud's performance and she sang the rest of this song. Dolly would've show JHud how that shit is really done (and by "that shit" I mean singing and wearing a lacefront).

Posted by: Michael K
stinkbutt's picture

I couldn't have said it better. It just shows how shallow this business is. At least Chaka Khan cares. I don't think Mariah Carey did a tribute, because they were close, and friends. J Huds she did the best she could under the circumstances, and you have to give her credit for that, and you could tell she was sincere.
Damn poor Whitney, that business is ruthless. I hope that her daughter has a better support system than Bobby Brown. I'd hate to see her daughter go down the same road from all this tragedy.

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It was a shitty tribute because she died like 24 hr before..hello... Chaka Khan was supposed to pay tribute.. Probably singing her song I'm every woman that Whitney remade.. But she issued a statement saying she was just too distraught to go thru with it... I'm so glad one of her friends was upset.. I mean they had the fucking party in the same hotel where her body lay.. just a few flights up... Meanwhile all the friends and boyfriend Ray J partied.. she probably still had his cum in her!!! Bastard.. Oh I'm so devastated.. Stop lying.. They danced with her upstairs.. Clive fucking Davis is her daughters Godfather.. as Bobbi Kristina was being rushed to the hospital in grief her dad was singing onstage and her godfather was right downstairs party.... uuuuuurrggghhh..

I think J Hud did a great job.. she looked like she wanted to cry...she's not Whitney and she couldn't make it sound like Whitney.. She put her spend on the song..

It was a shitty tribute because she died like 24 hr before..hello... Chaka Khan was supposed to pay tribute.. Probably singing her song I'm every woman that Whitney remade.. But she issued a statement saying she was just too distraught to go thru with it... I'm so glad one of her friends was upset.. I mean they had the fucking party in the same hotel where her body lay.. just a few flights up... Meanwhile all the friends and boyfriend Ray J partied.. she probably still had his cum in her!!! Bastard.. Oh I'm so devastated.. Stop lying.. They danced with her upstairs.. Clive fucking Davis is her daughters Godfather.. as Bobbi Kristina was being rushed to the hospital in grief her dad was singing onstage and her godfather was right downstairs party.... uuuuuurrggghhh..

I think J Hud did a great job.. she looked like she wanted to cry...she's not Whitney and she couldn't make it sound like Whitney.. She put her spend on the song..

Granny Clampett's picture

I noticed that Jani Lane didn't get a mention in the memorial montage. Granted Warrant was a cheesy hair metal band, but he was at least famous unlike 90% of the people they had on it.

"When I'm good I'm very good but when I'm bad I'm better." ~Mae West

Sayonara's picture

I'm glad they did a tribute to Ms. Peaches (Etta James). I like Bonnie Raitt.

(973) Jersey Strong

Sayonara's picture

LL is delicious.

(973) Jersey Strong

SANS FARDS's picture

Submitted by Karen Flatts on Mon, 02/13/2012 - 2:28pm.
Jennifer-still-fat-at-heart Hudson doesn't sing, she fucking screeches her way through every torturous song she sings. She is also well known to be a gigantic asshole.

I can't fucking stand that stupid bitch.

Exhibits:

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Yikes. She is so dreadfully insecure about gaining that weight back.

I have a (former) friend who lost a ton of weight, and then proceeded to post scarily bigoted things about overweight people on Facebook and Twitter. It was painfully obvious that he was terrified of gaining back a single pound. I blocked that bitch and fortunately, he moved to a different city and doesn't generally bother me anymore.

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Never question Bruce Dickinson!

CarmenElectrical's picture

I think it was nice that LL had a moment of silence. If Niki whatever the fuck can put on a ridiculous parody about Catholics, LL can ask for prayers.

As for JThud, that was a joke. She sounded like my grandfather trying to clear his throat after one too many cigars. Really? Is she the best they could come up with?

As for the "Bobby Brown is to blame" nonsense - c'mon now, Whitney was no saint before Bobby and she pretty much could of had any man she wanted and she wanted that little street urchin. She also had the money and resources to help her get off whatever the hell she was doing, and didn't. Waste of talent and beauty. Sad.

CoconutCoochie's picture

Unless I'm looking watching a funeral or religious ceremony I really don't think religion belongs on television. I'm beyond tired of hearing about God all the time. Religion should be a private thing, not something you display for everyone to see.

sonne's picture

Submitted by sinjin on Mon, 02/13/2012 - 1:40pm.

I'm gonna play the cold blooded asshole for a minute: Is anyone else as sick to death of the "Whitney, our patron Saint of Crackies has died." coverage?
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Yes!! My son's morning driver (an older man) even commented that this a.m. it was all and only her songs and probably would be all day. She was high on coke at her last concert here in Denmark.

Now, my kind hearted side is sorry for her family and their loss, especially her daughter.

StillaVllyGrl's picture

Submitted by IrishFury on Mon, 02/13/2012 - 1:32pm.
I think JHud did a great job, but yes, in general, she doesn't sing, she bellows.

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This is how I felt also. I think she did great last night. Sometimes I don't care for her singing. It seemed to me that she was really holding back some tears and it made her hold back a little on her singing, which ended up being a good thing.

Jennifer Hudson is probably the worst actor in history to win an Oscar. The category was best supporting actress not best over-emotional singing.

Also, I was convinced for her first few scenes of Sex and the City that she was playing a retarded person. "Mah name is Louise from St. Louis" seriously even Pretty Girl doesn't talk like that.

MadgesVadge's picture

Submitted by sinjin on Mon, 02/13/2012 - 1:44pm.
Buy some Carmex dude because damn, that lip licking shit is annoying.
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Seriously! It's so gross and highly distracting. Looking at an overly-wet set of lips is just as gross as looking at a chapped set. I'm glad he didn't carry on that way the whole time.

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"I have a very poor way of concealing my dislike of people and/or things." -- Evil_Cupcake's Mom

MickeyHolland's picture

I've just watched The Bodyguard last night. Laugh all you want, but Kevin Costner was extremely tasty back then.

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"We are here on earth to do good for others.
What the others are here for, I don't know."
W.H. Auden

Karen Flatts's picture

Jennifer-still-fat-at-heart Hudson doesn't sing, she fucking screeches her way through every torturous song she sings. She is also well known to be a gigantic asshole.

I can't fucking stand that stupid bitch.

Exhibits:

http://beyondgossip.com/tag/jennifer-hudson-twitter-rant/

http://skinnyvscurvy.com/jennifer-hudson/jennifer-hudson-turned-lead-rol...

http://ohnotheydidnt.livejournal.com/63385484.html

http://www.etiquettehell.com/smf/index.php?topic=95409.0

It goes on and on. She's a selfish, self-involved little twat who is NOT a good singer.
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Submitted by Meatblocks on Sat, 12/31/2011 - 10:17am.
it ain't awesome until flatts shits on it.

Submitted by snowpiece on Wed, 07/08/2009 - 5:00pm.
Karen Flatts is always a cunt

megank's picture

Normally I can't stand JHud's yelling in tune, but I thought she did a nice job with the tribute. She didn't make it all about her. It wasn't nauseating.

Submitted by stefystef on Mon, 02/13/2012 - 2:14pm.
Submitted by A.cotw on Mon, 02/13/2012 - 12:35pm.
Mr. W said Xtina should not be seen in public for awhile,and I sort of agree.
"At Last" is an easy song to screw up,in my opinion. As for Etta James' other songs-I'd rather go blind than hear her imitated badly. Really, there isn't anyone else like her. Even Janis Joplin,rest her soul, wasn't in Etta's league.

stefystef's picture

Submitted by A.cotw on Mon, 02/13/2012 - 12:35pm.
Speaking of tributes, was anyone else glad that the Etta James tribute song was "A Sunday Kind of Love"? Not anyone's favorite Etta song,but ANYTHING is better than yet another warbling,vibrating,melismatic cover of "At Last". Alicia Keys and Bonnie Raitt are decent musicians.

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I'm so grateful that they didn't sing "At Last". I think Christina effectively put that song to bed forever. *LOL*

Loved Ronnie Raif, Alicia was okay.
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Grow up, Demi, and do coke off toilet seats like the rest of us adults do!- Michael K, 1/26/12

Submitted by EvilShoe on Mon, 02/13/2012 - 1:43pm.
A.cotw - I meant in general, not just with the above video

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Sorry,I misunderstood. :-P

Meatblocks's picture

i thought jhud did a fantastic job in all respects. can't forget that this is a person who has come through the worst of tragedies and knows pain like most of us never will.
she respected whitney and her song.
who cares about dolly -no offense but this wasn't about a song, but about the singer.
jhud was felt.

.....................................................
"The only thing necessary for evil to triumph is for good men to do nothing."
~Edmund Burke

*peddles off in a mint '88 yugo*

mitchyul's picture

I think Jennifer did a great performance last night under the circumstances. It was from the heart. Don't compare Whitley with anyone she was unique like Jennifer is unique in her own way. So lay off you bitches.

boredasfuckyo's picture

LL COOL J is a cunt. That is all.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~**~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

I want you to get on them fat chubby knees and take muh manhood in to your sugarwalls!-Early Cuyler -Squidbillies-

Foxxy Brown's picture

Submitted by stefystef on Mon, 02/13/2012 - 1:46pm.

The wonderful thing about Whitney (and unique), is that she had a big voice, but she didn't shout her songs (a la Patty Labelle) and didn't treat every song like a gospel song (like Jennifer Hudson).

agree very much [bunch of names you could have put after JHud's ...]

stefystef's picture

The wonderful thing about Whitney (and unique), is that she had a big voice, but she didn't shout her songs (a la Patty Labelle) and didn't treat every song like a gospel song (like Jennifer Hudson).

Whitney's voice was pure and distinct and both mature and innocent at the same time. So very very few singers really have that talent.

Judy Garland
Barbara Streisand
Edith Piaf
Aretha Franklin

Whitney, for me personally, is in this category of great women singers.
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Grow up, Demi, and do coke off toilet seats like the rest of us adults do!- Michael K, 1/26/12

sinjin's picture

Buy some Carmex dude because damn, that lip licking shit is annoying.

LisaRose's picture

I for one really liked the prayer. I wasn't expecting that. So many people say that popular music is of the devil and no one got up and left the room so I guess the devil wasn't there.

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www.dungeonhordes.com

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A.cotw - I meant in general, not just with the above video.

Foxxy Brown's picture

i think she did a good job given the pressure, time for preparation and emotional burden. but would have rather have heard from Dolly.

anyone know what happened to Chaka Khan?

every time i see bitching about "over-singing" it seems to reflect a lack of appreciation for gospel or true soul style singing (not R&B, soul). whatever - to each their own tastes - but own up to your biases or lack of musical understanding rather than always blaming the artists for doing something "wrong" with their vocals.

sinjin's picture

I'm gonna play the cold blooded asshole for a minute: Is anyone else as sick to death of the "Whitney, our patron Saint of Crackies has died." coverage? I've see it on EVERY local newscast since Saturday, plus CNN, and the woman hasn't even been buried yet. They'll probably have a live telecast of when they plant her.

My sister had to work Sunday night so she started to set up the DVR for the Grammys when I complained about her tying up the DVR with that Whitney tribute shit. She gave me "the look" like I was heartless. My response was "What?! She's a crackie, NOT JESUS!" She gave me an alternate reason for her recording it which was better. (*shrug)

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stefystef's picture

Submitted by Richiegay on Mon, 02/13/2012 - 1:14pm.
all things considered JHud did an ok job, i was expecting much less so maybe im relieved. Bruno Mars did a pretty good dance number tho derivative of james brown, i was not impressed with the three legged shuffles of chris brown (dont hit me)

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I was thinking more Jackie Wilson or Frankie Lymon, with a touch of James Brown (who in his 70s did a better job than this kid).

About Jennifer Hudson, I'm sorry, but she is no Whitney. It is obvious to me that she's trying to now move into the place of Whitney as the beloved R&B/Soul/Pop Black diva now. I'm sorry, but I"m not feeling her. Jennifer seems too contrived now. When she started, she was natural and giving. Now it is just "phony" to me. I don't know why, but it is for me. And, most important, Jennifer can't act. Whitney was a pretty decent actress. She didn't embarrass herself.

Much rather had Dolly Parton or Bonnie Raif sing it. Bonnie was wonderful with the Etta James song. Alicia should have gone back in the audience and just watch how it is done.
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Grow up, Demi, and do coke off toilet seats like the rest of us adults do!- Michael K, 1/26/12

ItsBritneyBitches's picture

JHud did got in her own way - but she made me remember that currently there is NO ONE out there who has the voice of an angel like young Whitney had. Sad . :(

IrishFury's picture

I think JHud did a great job, but yes, in general, she doesn't sing, she bellows.

Off topic but am SO glad Ten Head, Cartoon Face and CaCa got all dressed up and no stage to go to!

Oh and yes, JHud did look bigget but I think that's probably a camera angle thing.
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Dark-sided!

Submitted by EvilShoe on Mon, 02/13/2012 - 1:26pm.
Jennifer Hudson's voice sounds too deep, not sure if it's because she was trying too hard or what.

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Maybe she was trying not to bawl like a toddler,which affected her singing.

Oxygen's picture

HAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
There's a FaceBook page called "I Get Uncomfortable When LL Cool J Licks His Lips"
and Sherry Shepherd from The View likes when he licks his lips and asks him "But whyyyyyyyy do you do it?"
http://www.aoltv.com/2011/05/02/sherri-ll-cool-j-licks-his-lips-the-view...

JHud's tribute was what it was...a fucking tribute to Whitney who's skin is still wrinkly from the water. Yes it's messed up but there you have it.

Oh, my DAYUMMMMMMMMM moment had to be when Kelly Clarkson and that dude was doing their duet and his fucking mic stopped working. She was already blowing him off the stage and then he was trying to scream into the mic, all subtle like and then he tapped it, as if that would turn that shit back on.

Oh, and Stevie Wonder...you are still loved but you need to lose the braids.

Sorry, Keys and Raitt SUCKED ASS on Etta's song IMHO. Really, I was just annoyed as Key's hair-don't.

P.S. I used to watch that prison show Oz and ever since getting grossed out by Adibesi's rolled up donut or shit log hat I have never like any kind - especially the one's like LL wears.

Jennifer Hudson's voice sounds too deep, not sure if it's because she was trying too hard or what.

stefystef's picture

Michael K, great minds think alike.

I said it on the Grammy Open Post that they should have gotten Dolly Parton to get up there with her guitar and just sing the song simply and sweetly.

Jennifer is trying to be our new "Whitney". Sorry, darlin'. Won't happen.
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Grow up, Demi, and do coke off toilet seats like the rest of us adults do!- Michael K, 1/26/12

Stoney's picture

Jennifer Hudson did the best she could with that horrendous arrangement, but why does she always sound like she has excess spit in her mouth or marbles? She has trouble with certain consonants for sure. Maybe she should take a speech class. At least she didn't tell us to believe in yoself.
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"Let s/he who is without sin, cast the first Stoney."

Richiegay's picture

all things considered JHud did an ok job, i was expecting much less so maybe im relieved. Bruno Mars did a pretty good dance number tho derivative of james brown, i was not impressed with the three legged shuffles of chris brown (dont hit me)

Nail me to my car... then I'll tell you who you are...Joe The Lion

Ms.Fit's picture

LL, lick'em low, cool J. My friends had a bet to how many times, LL licks his dry ass lips, but we lost count. That shit was cool in the 80s, now he just looks like a pervert.

LL has a conehead like an alien. He NEEDS to wear hats, please believe it is for OUR protection!

Submitted by Ms.Fit on Mon, 02/13/2012 - 12:58pm.
Submitted by A.cotw on Mon, 02/13/2012 - 12:35pm
So was I. I thought Bonnie Raitt was a good choice because she started as a blues singer herself.

Rdeadline's picture

I hated what's her name's singing. It was full of flourishes and skill but no passion. Like a painter who can copy masters but can't think of original work.

Ms.Fit's picture

Submitted by A.cotw on Mon, 02/13/2012 - 12:35pm.
Speaking of tributes, was anyone else glad that the Etta James tribute song was "A Sunday Kind of Love"? Not anyone's favorite Etta song,but ANYTHING is better than yet another warbling,vibrating,melismatic cover of "At Last". Alicia Keys and Bonnie Raitt are decent musicians.

They sounded great together. I was hoping for a different song, but hey.

Hekki's picture

Beyonce wasn't there? LOL.

Bigbendy's picture

Submitted by snowpiece on Mon, 02/13/2012 - 12:39pm.
Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Mon, 02/13/2012 - 12:37pm.

No shit. I hate all hats/derbys/fedoras/etc...
>>>>>>>>>>
hence the name, I bet you don't hate trucker hats! ;p and straw cowboy hats!

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HAHAHAHAHAHAH!
Funniest thing I've read all day.

Poopele's picture

I'm sure Baphomet was pleased.

PrettyHateMachine's picture

I also love how Beyonce the stunt queen didn't show up because it wouldn't be all about her at the Grammys. They were probably planning on attaching a few clydesdales to that crib carriage thing and have it pull BIC down the red carpet.

18thCenturyFox's picture

SkinnyFat

I am heartless because I feel a lot more sympathy for the kids I teach that are born with none of Whitney's advantages and yet persevere every day to be able to do what everyone else takes for granted? When you work with FAS kids get back to me about being heartless. I am heartless about substance abuse that impacts your children. I liked Winehouse's music better then Whitney's, despite the vast difference in popularity. And yes I am well aware of the Crackie in Camden's habits. I think Billy Ray Cyrus had a big number one too!

"This better be important Jack, I was bidding on a bag of bras on ebay."
Liz Lemon

snowpiece's picture

Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Mon, 02/13/2012 - 12:37pm.

No shit. I hate all hats/derbys/fedoras/etc...
>>>>>>>>>>
hence the name, I bet you don't hate trucker hats! ;p and straw cowboy hats!

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"That's what Jesus would do. Give you a blunt when you're down." MK
"I'm from the New Jersey where we say "AYY! FUCKA YOUA PIZZA PIE!!!" " Sucky

jack-n-the-hat's picture

Submitted by Twat Muffin on Mon, 02/13/2012 - 12:26pm.
I hate those stupid hats LL Cool J wears.
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No shit. I hate all hats/derbys/fedoras/etc...
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"Hang on, let me just whip out my compass 'cause clearly we're living in the Legend of Zelda." ~ MadgesVadge 02/10/2012

Speaking of tributes, was anyone else glad that the Etta James tribute song was "A Sunday Kind of Love"? Not anyone's favorite Etta song,but ANYTHING is better than yet another warbling,vibrating,melismatic cover of "At Last". Alicia Keys and Bonnie Raitt are decent musicians.

Whamo's picture

Singing a song made famous by someone that just died 24hrs ago is kind of a no win situation. People aren't going to say you were wonderful because they don't want to take anything away from Whitney. Jhud did an OK job IMO anyway.

I HATE that whole style of music regardless of who's singing it. Most of these Hos go into this vocal acrobatic warbling that makes me want to poke my ears out with a termite filled stick.