Wednesday, March 21st 2012

Hell To The No: Ray J Has A Drawer Full Of Nippy Sex Tapes (UPDATE: Ray J Denies It)

UPDATE: Ray J tells TMZ that he's not looking to sell a treasure trove of sex tapes he made with Whitney, because those sex tapes don't exist. And now, we can all truly exhale.

Seeing Ray J's boomerang-shaped dick go in and out of Kim Kardashian as she lazily moaned like a zombie seal falling in and out of a coma has filled me with enough images of his crooked ass peen to last me the rest of my lifetime. Seriously, I'm good. But Radar says that the world's eyes might get poked by Ray J's black snake moan again if he gets his way and somehow posthumously releases a collection of fuck tapes he made with Whitney Houston. Whitney was a not-so-closet freak and so it's not actually surprising to hear that she let the camera roll as she left her doody bubble on Ray J's dick tip. The source tells Radar that Whitney's family has begged Ray J to keep that shit to himself, but because he's a piece of shit leech who is still sucking the life out of Nippy even though she's in the grave, he's itching to sell. The source put it like this:

"[The Houston family has] been in contact with Ray and told him they do not want any photos or videos painting her in a bad light to come out. [They] explained to Ray that now is the time to honor Whitney, not drag her legacy down.

[Ray J's] been stalling to sell, or hand them over, them to Whitney’s family, because he knows he’s sitting on a gold mine.”

This is gross, disgusting, trashy, horrible, blasphemous, deplorable, indecent and I think the best way for all of us to handle this news is by coming up with titles for the sex tape! Let's play. I'll go first:

The Bootyguard (obviously)

Waiting to Sexhale

It's Not Right, But I'll Still Fuck It

Didn't We Almost Deep Throat It All?

Kizz (Lick and Stick It In) My Azz!

You Give Good Head

Hard-On Break Hotel

I Will Always Love You Long Time

Greatest Poon of All

I Have Nothing, Nothing, Nothing, If I Don't Have Peen

Where Do Broken Condoms Go

Saving All My Tongue For You

I Wanna Fuck With Somebody

Why Does It Hurt So Bad

There, that should be enough to get me to the middle of the waiting line for the Chinatown bus to the Hell. Your turn!

Posted by: Michael K
barzzini's picture

barzzini
Thanks for my daily laugh. That is classic. My fav? It's not Right But i'll Still Fuck it.

Dame Chupacabra's picture

I want to tie this boy up in a room and whack him with a whip like some movie I watched of a dad (i think) Korean royalty who whacked his rebellious teenage son to a pulp with his gold encrusted belt... *fumes out my ears* I grew up on Whitney's best days I don't take crap about er very well...

Team Cameeeerrrrroooon!

Lily85's picture

Waiting to Inhale (some coke)

It's Not Right, But I'll Still Fuck It

Didn't We Almost Deep Throat It All?

Kizz (Lick and Stick It In) My Azz!

You Give Good Head

Hard Dick Hotel

I Will Always Grope You

Greatest Blow (job) of All

Saving All My Dong For You (to Whitney)

I Wanna Fuck With Somebody

Why Does He Suck So Bad

One Snorting Time

It's Crooked Up But It's Okay

All The Dick That I Need

My Coke Is Your Coke

Could I Have This Peen Forever?

You Give Good Dick

I Snorted From The Best

I truly believe that you haven't begun to scoop up all of life's beautiful moments until you've heard the line "Watch the wig!" from a piece while sitting on their face. - MK

loopygorilla's picture

This is disgusting! i am appalled, just appalled!!! now let us see the tapes!

lorddd.... i do not want to even imagine what that sex video would be like.

ive seeing ray-j's crooked dick porn video and i saw it on in kim's ass and come out of her ear...

thats how bent it was. Ray J's dick can bend it like beckham.

anyway Ray J, i would advise you against doing this cuz this will put you permanently in the unemployment world FOREVER, as you murderer sister Brandi and you once sang.

"Ohh think twice, cuz there's another day for you and me in paradise, on think twice, cuz there's another day for you, you and me in paradise...na na na nannanan nanana anana" thats all the lyrics i know.

Fred Flintstone's picture

Ya fucking hoo! There is a fucking hippo over at the Bronx Zoo that has a sex tape of him with WH! Not exactly a news bulletin!

I love love love Whitney, but this post is so funny. Thanks MK for ruining my fav song. "Why does it hurt so bad" never sounds the same ever again.

Submitted by fauve on Wed, 03/21/2012 - 7:36pm.

LOL@ Nippy Longstocking!

If these tapes actually did come out I think it would make Ray J look like an ass anyway and he'd be banished to unemployment forever.

MrPossumsMama's picture

Waitwaitwaitwaitwait!

Am I the only one who didn't realize that Whitney's boyfriend was the same guy who starred in the famous Kim Kardashian sex tape???

OMG. Small world, innit?

oh dave's picture

Since poor Whitney passed away her family seems to have been bent on destroying her legacy. I don't think it's really possible, though. She was talented and her records will be heard by a lot more people than will ever see anything Ray J can come up with. It's too soon to rake them over the coals but her family is a mess and if this tape did exist and was released it might take some of the attention off of them.

http://burning-plastic.tumblr.com/

You people are some real sicko trashers. It's disgusting.

"Abortion is the sacrament of Liberalism and the party of Death"

fauve's picture

How about:

Soylent Peen.

Cocktopussy.

Poonraker.

The Adventures of Nippy Longstocking.

The Crackie Horror Picture Show.

Get Snorty.

Northwest Assage.

lovelylaney's picture

Ok:

I Wanna Fuck On Some Body
Cocklick Hotel
Saving All My Coke For You (for Bobbah B!)
Greatest Drugs of All
I Have Nothing (without my crackpipe)
All The Crack That I Need
My Crack Ain't Your Crack
My Crack Dealer Loves Me, Yes He Does
Crack Sprinkled Banner

Lastly, In honor of yesterday's post on Richard Gere:

I have nothing, nothing, nothing if I don't remove the gerbil

Saving all my gerbils for you

Hoolrah's picture

But why not make it more ironic? Just put him in the passenger seat and give Brandi some car keys:

http://www.tmz.com/2007/01/24/brandy-causes-fatal-car-crash/#.T2pa1q6StN...

Submitted by Hekki on Wed, 03/21/2012 - 2:05pm.
Submitted by azgirl: "There is something about his facial expression in this picture that makes me want to punch him. Ugh. And someone would do all of us a favor by running him over with their car."

To do:

Call Halle Berry, Matthew Broderick, Rebecca Gayheart, Lindsay Lohan. See who's available for a quick hit and run.

Kandykane's picture

What the hell kind of dysfunctional family does Ray J spring from?

This guy has "bad news" branded on his aura. He's the Shleprock of sex tapes. Why doesn't he just date Wilmer Valderrama? That way we could keep all that chaos energy contained in one place.

iHeartHaters's picture

ROFLLLLLLLLLLLLLL lovin the titles!!!!

~♥~♦¤♦~♥~♦¤♦~♥~♦¤♦~♥~♦¤♦~♥~♦¤♦~♥~♥~♦¤♦~♥~

FANTA FANTA, NO COKE!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9lnRDU4LdZE

Meat Loaf was in the middle of a show when his knees suddenly hit the stage floor like a narcoleptic bat out of hell ~MK

Alix's picture

Has this dbag ever had sex WITHOUT filming it?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
This episode brought to you by the letter SHUTUP.

A tragedy of epic proportions is nothing to be glib about. It isn't funny, it is sick.

"Abortion is the sacrament of Liberalism and the party of Death"

He needs a swift kick in the head. Slimeball. Whitney could sing but could she tie her own shoes? The woman was not too smart.

My hope is that Whitney enjoyed herself in those sessions, unlike Kim K. who wasn't convincing that it was a true sex session and not her first reality tv show.

Stan Hooper's picture

Submitted by EdDallas on Wed, 03/21/2012 - 2:28pm.
I'll give it a whirl:

I Wanna Dick in my Body

Didn't We Almost Snort it All

How Will I Nut?

All the Man I Need (In Me)

My Drugs are Your Drugs

It's Not Coke, but it's Okay

Crack Whore Hotel

And for the win.....

Saving All My Poon for You

OR

Saving All My Drugs for You

My Chariot to hell awaits so lay off!

=========

BWWAAAAAAAAA MY GODDDDDD!!! ROTFLMAO!!!

=========
Brevity may be the soul of wit, but to twit without wit is soulless -- Johanne Savoie

Glad to know someone gets my sense of humor! :)

WithinReason...'s picture

Ray J is one clASSy gent! Never disappoints...

LMAO at all the titles! haha

Here goes,
How will I whack off
Saving all my poo for you
Where do broken balls go
It's not right but it's INSIDE
I will always raw you
One pissing in time
Greatest prick of all (dedicated to Ray J)

♥---♥---♥
"... looking in her face is heaven for all the youth and hope and good will." Thamar 03/01/2012 ☺♪☼♫ ░░░░

Deb's picture

Submitted by Dog on Wed, 03/21/2012 - 12:46pm.

The family doesn't want anything to paint her in a bad light? Considering her reality show and her public behavior these last few years, I think the train pretty much catapulted out of that station a loooong time ago.

Having said that, Ray J is a piece of shit.
------------------------------------------
You said it, Dog! It seems that everybody EXCEPT Whitney cared/cares about her being seen in a good light. I mean when you're loudly berating a bartender for giving you a weak drink before 10am, you don't care.
I hate to say it, but this is what she gets. You lie down with dogs (with the camera rolling....)

"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson

Sandbitch's picture

I want Whit Whit's necklace.

Carry on.

FluffKitteh's picture

"Peen of the Night"

********************
"Brows should not look like a condiment!" -MK

TheBreakdown's picture

Whitney Houston was trapped behind an image she never could have lived up to, no matter how many times Clive Davis tried to airbrush over it.

People always mention Whitney being related to Dionne Warwick, her mother Cissy Houston, and her godmother Aretha. But Clive (or SOMEONE) has airbrushed away (at least as much as possible) the drug problems of Dee Dee Warwick, who was Dionne's sister and battled drug demons for years before she died because of abusing drugs. Dionne? Well, they caught her ass on the plane some years ago and that was just what they caught her old ass with.

I am never one to blame ANOTHER person for a person's drug use. At the end of the day, whoever you may be, from the slum on the streets to the superstar on stage, it is within YOU to break free. And if it's NOT within you, there's a grave waiting for you sooner than needs to be.

This blame game is really getting out of control. Clive Davis getting blamed for presenting a clean image to the world? He's done that with countless stars under his tutelage. Some succeeded, some failed. It really is a crapshoot. But just as she had the courage to jump into the spotlight, she could have had the courage to step OUT of it and save herself.

Her family pretending as if she was completely off drugs and turning a new leaf is utter bullshit and I call it.

I just hope Bobbi Kristina makes it out OK, because considering her genes, it's going to be an uphill battle of epic proportions.

***************************************
Facebook: Triston Negreaux
http://www.myspace.com/triston
ask me how to subscribe to Heaux Confessionals©

guest's picture

Submitted by Somuchbetterthanyou on Wed, 03/21/2012 - 2:25pm.

"The Greatest Lube of All"

Lmao! Ahahaaha.

*****************

Submitted by DirtyWhoreMouth on Sat, 06/11/2011 - 9:32am.
It's ok to be a redneck by the way.. just don't yell git 'er done because we all hate that.

MundoLoco's picture

"All the Man I Need (In Me)"

ahahahaahaaa

:)

Submitted by bookworm on Wed, 03/21/2012 - 1:46pm.

This actually makes me feel sick. Human beings are the LOWEST pieces of scum. Anything to make a a few $$$. He is a disgusting piece of shit.

**************
yes and yet another reason to hate people.

TelevisedRevolution's picture

Evil, arguing over whether Burt or Dionne was the bigger coke addled asshole is like trying to pick which member of Aerosmith had the biggest drinking problem. Bacharach got away with more shit, I'm sure, but neither he nor Clive Davis is any saint. It isn't in their contracts

And most people who worked with Whitney said she was a nice person - she was insecure, and an addict, but she wasn't a bitch. But so what if she was? Turning a regular person with one talent into someone people believe is a goddess is Hollywood's job!

Ray J and Brandy are dark-sided, crooked-dickted and deadly behind the wheel! Yeah, I said it!

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
We worked hard for our money! So hard for it, honey!

I'll give it a whirl:

I Wanna Dick in my Body

Didn't We Almost Snort it All

How Will I Nut?

All the Man I Need (In Me)

My Drugs are Your Drugs

It's Not Coke, but it's Okay

Crack Whore Hotel

And for the win.....

Saving All My Poon for You

OR

Saving All My Drugs for You

My Chariot to hell awaits so lay off!

Somuchbetterthanyou's picture

"The Greatest Lube of All"

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Submitted by Whamo on Wed, 03/21/2012 - 2:00pm.

No shit, this is off topic a bit and I realize this isn't about Bobby BUT with regard to her image from what I've been hearing Bobby didn't turn her on to drugs as her people would have you believe.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^YUP^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

I think her brother FINALLY admitted that "Nippy" was already "Druggy" BEFORE Bobby popped up. But like you said, this was all said AFTER she passed.

I NEVER "blamed" Bobby for this grown-ass woman's decision-making. Water seeks its own level...

Gardening Girl's picture

Girls, this is what happens when you have sex with a skeez. This fucker is nasty...does he tape all of his sex?

Id watch this for the sheer cracky antics .. It's not like she had a great rep anyway , everyone talked about her voice but what about her as a person ? No one said she was a nice person or a good person .. She was well known for her tude and being a diva .,
And a crackhead !
Crackheads don't give a fuck ...

It's not right, but I'll still snort it

Mike

Mind The Gap! LOL!

Where do broken crack pipes go

Saving all my crack for you

Hekki's picture

Submitted by azgirl: "There is something about his facial expression in this picture that makes me want to punch him. Ugh. And someone would do all of us a favor by running him over with their car."

To do:

Call Halle Berry, Matthew Broderick, Rebecca Gayheart, Lindsay Lohan. See who's available for a quick hit and run.

urmomma's picture

Submitted by ditquoi on Wed, 03/21/2012 - 1:41pm.
Didn't We Almost Snort It All

*********
This made me laugh. Thank you.

*********************
I've got ten bucks and me and dirty eddie are staying out all weekend! - Rob Pue (thank you BBitch and Sweetas)

The difficult brown?! I think we're all done here. -MK

azgirl's picture

There is something about his facial expression in this picture that makes me want to punch him. Ugh. And someone would do all of us a favor by running him over with their car.

Juniperjump's picture

Wow. Don't you just want to smack the shit out of him in that picture?

Whamo's picture

Submitted by Dog on Wed, 03/21/2012 - 12:46pm.
The family doesn't want anything to paint her in a bad light?
===========================================
No shit, this is off topic a bit and I realize this isn't about Bobby BUT with regard to her image from what I've been hearing Bobby didn't turn her on to drugs as her people would have you believe. From what I understand she was ALWAYS a drug taking nutbar well before Bobby come on the scene and when she started to show her craziness in public it was easy to blame Bobby to keep her image as the "good girl" intact and make it seem like she was really that good girl at heart but Bobby was dragging her down. When she met Bobby she simply found a partner that would binge out with her and not judge her or try and get her to stop.

IMO Whitney never seemed to take ownership of her problems, never seemed to make a true attempt to clean up. From day 1 her comback was a joke and she had such little regard for her fans she didn't even wait until a show was over before she got all fucked up. That's when I completely said fuck you to her. It's one thing if you try and fail it's quite another to never try and show up on stage fucked out of your head on a comeback tour and stumble around if front of fans that honestly want the best for you and went to a concert to show that support only to be rewarded by a person that shows utter contempt to you.

The more I learn about her the more I dislike her.

Here's a few-

It's Not Right, But I'll Still Sell It

I Have Nothing, Nothing, Nothing If I Don't Tape You

Greatest Crooked Peen Of All

I Wanna Swing With Somebody

Why Does Fisting Hurt So Bad

DeeDee's picture

♪ I will always deep throat you. ♫

annobanano's picture

Never felt the need to watch myself having sex, so NO ANNOBANANO sex tapes. Professional pron does me just fine.

This actually makes me feel sick. Human beings are the LOWEST pieces of scum. Anything to make a a few $$$. He is a disgusting piece of shit.

mahaatma's picture

Sounds like something that Whitney would have wanted... She knew his record and chose to date him anyway.
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"Well, the sun shines on a dog's ass every once in a while so I guess it's my turn." Captain Phil Harris