Panty Creamer Of The Day: The Magic Mike Poster
If a movie poster doesn't look like it should be printed on 3x4 glossy card stock and passed out by a twink in a sleeveless shirt in front of Micky's on Santa Monica Blvd., we don't need it! The Magic Mike hos obviously get that, because here's the A for effort, low-budget poster for that cinematic bulge party camouflaged as a movie (I'm hoping). This is some Village People night at your mom's favorite club shit. This movie better not let me or my Saran-wrapped parts (I care about the cleanliness of movie theater seats) down. It better be like an episode of Dancing Bear. (Google that at lunch on your iPhone when you're in the comfort of the last stall in your office bathroom).
And here's some pictures of Joe ManJello flexing his He-Man doll body in Men's Health UK. The things your Photoshop is going to do to that picture of him with the tire. Adobe should just go ahead and add a "replace tire with muscle bottom" tool in Photoshop.
via E!
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This looks so awful... I can't wait to see it!
I always thought Matt Bomer was all about his breath-taking FACE - but his rocking bod is stealing the show on this poster.
The other guys really should be complaining to their agents about the poor choice of photos in this mess of a poster.
Channing Tatum is such a big beefy ditzy type. Yes please to more topless roles.
"I don't mind making jokes, but I don't want to look like one."
-Marilyn Monroe
More please, I'm totally making my bf see this with me for all the movies I had to sit through with female objectification. This movie would be perfect with very little dialogue and packed with hot bodies yum. +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
"that's the first time i had dick in my mouth, and that's the last time i'm going to choke on it.." Dani
I have a magazine with a hot picture of Channing on the cover. Yummay.
The movie will probably be crap, but who cares.
www.poopreport.com :)
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RIMADYL KILLS
Pretty Woman but with guys, no? Instead of T-Rex, they should have cast Mads Mikkelsen, good Lawd is he scorching! Paging lalamaria... paging lalamaria, hahah
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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Submitted by SANS FARDS on Fri, 06/01/2012 - 2:25pm.
Did anyone else besides me snicker a little at the irony of someone named "Bomer" being cast in this film?
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There's a Utube video that's probably still available that has Matt Lauer (I think it was ML anyhow) introducing Matt Bomer as "Matt Boner."
Love me some Joe Manjello. Christ on a cracker is he hot.
I know none of these men, NONE! (okay fine I'll admit to knowing Matty Mikhonatea, spelled sort of phonetically 'cause I'm not looking up the proper spelling, even though it just involves scrolling up)
BUT I do have this important thing to say. Why is that man who is lifting the tire straining so hard? Does he have a doody bubble? Did his back just go out? Why?? Because muscle man I know that tire is not that heavy. My soft lil' feminine self is flipping bad boys bigger then that and I'm pretty sure I'm not making that silly it's so heavy face when I go back to tires that small.
And yes I sometimes sort of feel embarrassed that my workouts involve flipping tires and moving other random heavy objects. Often in the middle of a workout I feel like I should just go be a farmer so I'm at least being productive when I move silly heavy things around.
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"So what was all that about enlarged holes and tight cracks?" -Enid
GG, yes. I saw it las year. That banjo kid almost looks like Channing except his eyes are just a tad bit smaller.
Submitted by Datura on Wed, 05/30/2012 - 10:59am.
I was a skinny, pink preemie. I looked like an earthworm until I was two months old.
The poster formerly known as Snow Owl formerly known as Nightowl, is ready to PARTAY!!!
Submitted by Gardening Girl on Fri, 06/01/2012 - 8:49pm.
Does anyone else think Channing Tatum looks inbred?
Downs syndrome IMO. He face looks very odd to me.
Hottt! Still no idea what McNawhatever is even doing there? What is he, the hen dad, I mean really? ;p
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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WinterOwl, did ya ever see Deliverance? Inbred has a more menacing feel than just plain ol' ergly! And Channing gives me the vibe that he'd have no problem humping my dried out corpse.
GG, inbred ugly, what's the difference? : P
Submitted by Datura on Wed, 05/30/2012 - 10:59am.
I was a skinny, pink preemie. I looked like an earthworm until I was two months old.
The poster formerly known as Snow Owl formerly known as Nightowl, is ready to PARTAY!!!
Does anyone else think Channing Tatum looks inbred?
Had to edit my siggie. *fixes siggie*
Submitted by Datura on Wed, 05/30/2012 - 10:59am.
I was a skinny, pink preemie. I looked like an earthworm until I was two months old.
The poster formerly known as Snow Owl formerly known as Nightowl, is ready to PARTAY!!!
ESE, you are the best in the whole wide west. Don't leave me with all the rest. Please, please don't leave. We all have crap in our life but you are one of very few who makes me smile.
Leave ESE AAAALLLLLLOOOOOOONNNNNNEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Submitted by Datura on Wed, 05/30/2012 - 10:59am.
I was a skinny, pink preemie. I looked like an earthworm until I was two months old.
The poster formerly known as Snow Owl formerly known as Nightowl, is ready to PARTAY!!!
Submitted by Dannii on Fri, 06/01/2012 - 6:38pm.
you're taking something i type seriously?... lemme give you some advice... don't do that!... you're just gonna confuse me, and you!
*edited because i just have to*... the last part of the statement that you cut and pasted was to set up the joke that i wanted sucky to see... sure... i guess he didn't see it, and it might fall flat, but it still is a setup for a joke.... jeebus chistmas, i'm actually having to explain this joke... yep, i guess it wasn't gonna land.
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"I could listen to a babbling brook,
and hear a song that I could understand.
I keep wishing it could be that way.
Because my world would be a Wonderland."
Submitted by EveryStrangersEyes on Fri, 06/01/2012 - 4:47pm.
yeah, all men should look like they're oiled up, waxed, and up for a dick in their butt...
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i think its ironic that you talk about being against certain media like maxim (and i certainly agree with you-that mag is not even good enough to be used as toilet paper) yet you echo a view which has been perpetrated by it-the idea that a man who looks after himself or looks a certain way is gay as this sort of language has been used to discourage women to like men who look this way.
FUCK! That exercise he's doing with the ball is the same thing our trainer makes us do. I didn't know how little upper body strength I had until I started doing the planks with the ball. When we get to the part of the class where we're going to do them, he yells, "Grab your balls." Grab your own damn ball and let me do crunches instead, dammit!
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www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
My good friend is a door guy at Micky's...the place is packed with younger, hipster gays. But overall a good time.
With a description of "Work all day, work it all night", how the fuck can this NOT win an Oscar?
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I want you to get on them fat chubby knees and take muh manhood in to your sugarwalls!-Early Cuyler -Squidbillies-
This is Flashdance for the ladeees, right?
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Boing!
Submitted by PrettyHateMachine on Fri, 06/01/2012 - 11:31am.
All men should look like this. Since women are bombarded with insurmountable fat hate on the D (sometimes they aren't even fat at all), I think men should be held to the very same high standards. Otherwise they are fat & lazy.
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If it isn't good for women then why subject men to it?
Anyways, as much as there is fat hate there is also plenty of enabling obese people. For every waif model there's a couple hundred thousand people who gorge themselves with no restrictions. You can't smoke anywhere anymore but stuffing your children's faces with McDonalds till they're diabetic or with massive heart problems is still a-okay. Nobody gets taxed for the DEADLY food they eat and it's socially acceptable to tell a skinny person they need to eat something but telling a heavy person they've had enough is frowned upon.
I'm so sick of werewolf boy. All he ever did was be yet another suitor to Sookie on True Blood...that's all. That's it. He has a great body...so what?
I mean, between the men in the main cast there isn't a whole hell of a lot of charisma.
THAT and they don't show DICK....what's the fucking point?
Submitted by PrettyHateMachine on Fri, 06/01/2012 - 11:31am.
All men should look like this. Since women are bombarded with insurmountable fat hate on the D (sometimes they aren't even fat at all), I think men should be held to the very same high standards. Otherwise they are fat & lazy.
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yeah, all men should look like they're oiled up, waxed, and up for a dick in their butt(stay out of this, sucky!... i'm trying to make a point, here!.. heehee!) because the media/ some men/other women make women feel bad about themselves... yep, that's the answer.
and for all of us guys that don't hold women up to being Maxim(jeebus, i hate that mag!) centerfolds... well fuck us, right?
yep, you got the right idea... the whole world should be held to a standard that is spoonfed by bullshit magazines, and AXE commercials, Victoria Secrets ads, and this bullshit... whatever the hell it is(i don't wanna know)... yep, i get it now... it should all be about what we all look like, and the cynicism of our physical shortcomings should be the end all be all of existence...
with all due respect,('cause i think that you know better, and i think that your comment is half sarcastic)PHM... in my opinion, you're fighting the wrong battle on this one.
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"I could listen to a babbling brook,
and hear a song that I could understand.
I keep wishing it could be that way.
Because my world would be a Wonderland."
I've gone to see shows like this a couple of times.....they really are a lot of fun! The guys are so chill and nice.
Now, who is the guy on the poster the furthest on the right? He is fucking on fire!! I don't know any of these people except Matthew McConaughey who's been looking tired and hungry lately.
*Had to look at Joe again*
Lord that man could just work me over...
*sitting in ice now*
Joe Manjello could use that fire hose in me 24/7. I swear to gawd I would break my pelvis on him.
Ugh, why is Matt Bomer so fucking sexy. He might as well be the only thing in the picture.
Did anyone else besides me snicker a little at the irony of someone named "Bomer" being cast in this film?
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Submitted by Hekki on Fri, 06/01/2012 - 12:35pm.
Submitted by OneLiner: "The only way i could watch this movie is if drinks are involved and I can scream at the top of my lungs "woooo hoooo!!!!" again and again...who wants to watch this quiet and sober at a movie theater???? "
Your comment prompted to me to imagine some rogue cinema owner offering a midnight showing of this sausage fest designated "You don't have to be silent", with a bar. They'd charge $25 per ticket. Of course, they'd have to cover the seats with tarps, for obvious reasons.
Kinda like when they have those showings of "Rocky Horror" or "The Sound Of Music" and people sing along and dress up and shit.
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LOL My point was that this is a stupid idea for a movie...mine as well go to one of those shows for ladies only at some nightclub where you can DRANK and BE LOUD!
********* SAVE A LIFE. ADOPT A PET *********
This movie looks cheesier than Showgirls! I'm dubbing it 'Showgirls 3: the male edition'.
What was that Aussie movie a few years back w/ tap-dancing iron workers???
Submitted by Whamo on Fri, 06/01/2012 - 10:54am.
Unless you're a woman or gay why would you want to see this?
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I think you answered your own question - that's 60% of the population right there, buddy.
And MattMcConahouweryouspellit is checking out Joe Manmanman's package on the promo poster, just to make sure the target audience feels welcomed.
Might not be a bad way to spend an afternoon, on DVD at home, with tequila.
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“A culture fixated on female thinness is not an obsession about female beauty, but an obsession about female obedience...a quietly mad population is a tractable one.”
Submitted by Gardening Girl on Fri, 06/01/2012 - 11:38am.
Submitted by MissJaneTexas on Fri, 06/01/2012 - 11:24am.
I will probably see this movie.
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*shakes head and moves seat away from MJT*
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*pats seat* psssst. come sit ovah here.. ;D
Submitted by OneLiner: "The only way i could watch this movie is if drinks are involved and I can scream at the top of my lungs "woooo hoooo!!!!" again and again...who wants to watch this quiet and sober at a movie theater???? "
Your comment prompted to me to imagine some rogue cinema owner offering a midnight showing of this sausage fest designated "You don't have to be silent", with a bar. They'd charge $25 per ticket. Of course, they'd have to cover the seats with tarps, for obvious reasons.
Kinda like when they have those showings of "Rocky Horror" or "The Sound Of Music" and people sing along and dress up and shit.
walmart will no doubt refuse to sell the unrated dvd version....with all the anal fisting scenes intact.
Submitted by Hekki on Fri, 06/01/2012 - 10:55am.
Submitted by Gobbler: "OK, we've got office guy, cowboy, soldier, firefighter...What the hell is the guy on the end? C'mon, I need to see a theme to your costume, dude."
My vote is Jersey Shore dude. He's wearing those fake-faded jeans and is clutching a black fedora.
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Aahhh, yes, The classic Douchelordian look. I see it now.
None of these guys bring the panty pudding for me. Matt could if I could get past the T-rex arms. I throw my vote in the ring for Fassbender to be Christian Grey, however. That GQ cover brought me to my knees.
The fourth guy looks the gayest. Matthew Mocanagay is a little too old for this shit, sorry. Plus I don't want to see those T-rex arms in the nude.
*Talk Soup voice* Soooo Meaty!
Village People, frickin nailed it MK.
The name sounds like one of Tommy girl's sessy toys.
*chanting as always*
Shut the fuck up kid, you're in my closet now.
MMMmmmmmmmm mens. oily. shiny. mens.
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I've got ten bucks and me and dirty eddie are staying out all weekend! - Rob Pue (thank you BBitch and Sweetas)
The difficult brown?! I think we're all done here. -MK
Submitted by MissJaneTexas on Fri, 06/01/2012 - 11:24am.
I will probably see this movie.
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*shakes head and moves seat away from MJT*
All men should look like this. Since women are bombarded with insurmountable fat hate on the D (sometimes they aren't even fat at all), I think men should be held to the very same high standards. Otherwise they are fat & lazy.
gay . i,,,, no
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Sir, you killed your date? What in the name of Phil Spector happened?
I read "Work all day, work it all night" as "Up all night, sleep all day."
These boys look well oiled, nice *hopes T-McConnaRex doesn't have a big part* ... won't even pretend the streaming sales for this won't go through the roof... liars liars liars! Hahaha Manjello is hot but Boner.is.sooo.fine. The end.
Lol at MK's Saran-wrapped parts, HA! YA REAL quiet, no one would know what you're up to...
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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