Sunday, June 17th 2012
The 3 Golden Sisters Take On Fifty Shades Of Mom Cream
YAASSS! They're back. The former HSTODs and the golden treasures who perfectly summed Kim Kuntrashian up with one sentence ("She's just laying there") have returned and given us all the greatest Father's Day present of all: their commentary on the literary mom vibrator known as Fifty Shades of Grey! Your Sunday isn't complete until you've heard one golden memaw scream "HE WEPT HER!" and another demonstrate the art of vagina fisting. I need them to narrate EVERYTHING from now on. Sorry, Morgan Freeman, but these three are civilization's new narrators.
And Teresa, the Golden Sister on the left, is serving up several servings of side swept glamour with that hair.
via Buzzfeed
Submitted by dementa on Sun, 06/17/2012 - 4:32pm.
Submitted by Lucifer_Sam on Sun, 06/17/2012 - 4:31pm.
You're assuming he/she bought the book. There are libraries and pirated copies.
^^^^^^^^
Have you heard that libraries are refusing to buy the books-- not because of the content, but because of the poor writing??
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This is entirely stupid. That's only going to make MORE people want to read the book. If libraries are going to ban it, it should be because it's so outrageously terrible that no one should read it, ever; not because it's really salacious and ESCANDALO.
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"You should always go to other people's funerals; otherwise, they won't come to yours."
- Yogi Berra
Submitted by Hockey fan on Mon, 06/18/2012 - 10:30am.
OTOH, Fifty Shades of Ass is pathetic. I couldn't get through the seventh chapter.
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You didn't even scratch the surface. I'd give it another try. The first few chapters are meant to set the scene, but they don't even touch upon any of what comes ahead. But if you're looking for simple erotica, this is not the book. I actually thought they fucked too much. Surely this girl would have a pH imbalance if she had this much sex in one day.
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"I have a very poor way of concealing my dislike of people and/or things." -- Evil_Cupcake's Mom
Agree with the lot of you who say the book wasn't exactly expertly written. If you go into it for the steamy and trashy element, you will be disappointed. It's your run-of-the-mill "he entered my special place with his length and I fell to pieces with each thrust" type of thing. Nothing new.
However I will say this. There are other, deeper take-away points if you really take the time to understand the characters, particularly Christian. (The girl annoys me quite a bit - hoping that will change in the 2nd and 3rd books, haven't read those yet.)
Maybe I'm saying this because I can relate to quite a bit of what's in the book. The writing could have been better, but I think this was the author's first attempt, so in light of that, it's not so bad.
All in all, an acceptable beach-read. But take heed if you have any of the inclinations suggested in the book. It's something of a mind-fuck.
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"I have a very poor way of concealing my dislike of people and/or things." -- Evil_Cupcake's Mom
Submitted by Detective_LaToya on Sun, 06/17/2012 - 7:13pm.
The women who are juiced up by this have boring sex lives.
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Or no sex lives at all. You know, the married ones. LOL
We have friends who live in this fancy neighborhood full of rich people, and most of the wives are stay at home moms who didn't have much education, and they're all buzzing about this trash. I have to just excuse myself and walk away, and my GF just laughs bc she knows how irritated I get when people start talking about it. I just go off in a corner and drink.
Submitted by dementa on Sun, 06/17/2012 - 4:32pm.
Submitted by Lucifer_Sam on Sun, 06/17/2012 - 4:31pm.
You're assuming he/she bought the book. There are libraries and pirated copies.
^^^^^^^^
Have you heard that libraries are refusing to buy the books-- not because of the content, but because of the poor writing??
I mean, come on...libraries have Henry Miller and DH Lawrence and Anne Rice (writing under the Rocquelare name) and Erica Jong, so don't tell me they won't carry this shite bc it's porn. I used to work in libraries and it's really hard for librarians to not purchase stuff that the public wants. That's why they're there. But when it's just fucking bad writing, that kills a little bit of a librarian's heart every time you request it. PLEASE DON'T MAKE LIBRARIES USE TAXPAYER MONEY TO BUY THIS CRAP!!
OMG, I love these horz!! I'm not far behind them in age so I hope I am as cool as them in about ten-fifteen years!!
OTOH, Fifty Shades of Ass is pathetic. I couldn't get through the seventh chapter. I gave the whole set of books to a friend and told her to pass them on. Awful, awful writing. I know people who write erotica and this is godawful, really.
Just. No.
Has anyone seen the show 'Satisfaction' on netflix?
I love when the iPad goes off and they all look up like "what do we do now?".
The women who are juiced up by this have boring sex lives.
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"Look at this lamb, I'm going to make condoms out of it so that you can ride me until your pussy says 'baaaaaah.'"
~ASkars as channeled by Michael K
Submitted by Foxxy Brown on Sun, 06/17/2012 - 6:50pm.
Submitted by crazyinjapan on Sun, 06/17/2012 - 6:14pm.
nice job! so i hope on the cake you put your mom and dad in bed with Kevin Durand and put you and your nephew at the base looking up at them. because that's how the cool kids are designing cakes this week ;-)
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LOL! That is so twisted. Don't know if I can eat the cake now!
Submitted by WithinReason... on Sun, 06/17/2012 - 5:55pm
* does split as you finish your cheer
** wishes i had already purchased Life Alert
*** hopes LiLo's now fired assistant is available
to call the paramedics
"Voodoo is forgetting who's the john and who's the whore." MK, 3/20/12
Submitted by crazyinjapan on Sun, 06/17/2012 - 6:14pm.
nice job! so i hope on the cake you put your mom and dad in bed with Kevin Durand and put you and your nephew at the base looking up at them. because that's how the cool kids are designing cakes this week ;-)
see ya after the game! Go Thunder
"Voodoo is forgetting who's the john and who's the whore." MK, 3/20/12
Love the grannies! Love the pinpoint editing.ZERO fucks is given about this "50 Shades" phenomenon.Their review confirms what I assumed all along.
"I thought it was the best way to lose your virginity...and then QUIT" -granny #3
That had me on the floor...PRICELESS.
I LOVE THESE WOMEN!!!! They're my role models!
Thanks Michael for giving a semi-old broad
a good laugh!
Foxxy: Can't wait for the game. Baked a Father's Day Thunder theme cake for my dad. Dad, nephew, and I are going to eat cake and cheer! And shout in anger! And maybe even cry a little. ;)
Ma!!! (Golden Sister #1)
Submitted by TrashyWilma on Sun, 06/17/2012 - 3:41pm.
I tried reading "50 Shades of Grey." Mommy porn, my ass. This is beginner's porn, the kind of shit you read on the internet at 16. It was so terribly written I could not take it seriously.
Having said that, I thoroughly enjoyed Gilbert Gottfried's reading of it.
lol, yep, the Gilbert Gottfried read was funny. (it's easily Googled-too lazy to copy/paste a link from my phone).
Foxxy, I'll cheer with ya!
*hip hip...* *does AWESOME cartwheel*
*hip hip...* ;D
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
░░░░♬♣☺♪◘☼♥♫•♩♦≈♠░░░░
I want them to adopt me!!!
Submitted by WithinReason... on Sun, 06/17/2012 - 5:46pm
and, oh lawd, please let them do a live watching of "Diz and Lick"!!!!!!!!
they are of the right age to have revered Taylor...
ETA: for crazy, Go Thunder!
"Voodoo is forgetting who's the john and who's the whore." MK, 3/20/12
I don't find it shocking; I've heard of worse. But I would NEVER let a man do things like that to me. In any context.
Speaking of books, though, I'm reading one I'm really enjoying called The Language of Flowers. It's got a tough chick heroine who is an ex-foster kid and who is obsessed with flowers and their Victorian meanings. I love this book. And I will never send flowers again without checking to see what they mean.
I wish these ladies would review Octo's latest self-touch session... please ladies, please! I'd love to hear what they thought of that terribly fake mess with the little baby clothes lying everywhere! *shudders*
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
░░░░♬♣☺♪◘☼♥♫•♩♦≈♠░░░░
Submitted by dementa on Sun, 06/17/2012 - 4:32pm
if this book is in libraries i swear i'm going to try to round up some Mayan descendants to see if there's anything they can do to get things rolling
"Voodoo is forgetting who's the john and who's the whore." MK, 3/20/12
The hottie on the right has the best arms EVER.
These ladies made my day.
And these books suck. Amazon has a preview where you can read a couple pages...awful writing!!
I borrowed it from a friend who borrowed it from a co-worker. I made it through the first 100 pages and called it a day.
Repetitive and the heroine is a boring valley girl.
I have zero interest in reading these books. I read http://50shadesofsuck.tumblr.com/ and it was hilarious.
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How can a man be a mom?
*swoon* at DWM... such a BITCH! by Jack-n-the-
the whole 50 Shades shit reminds me when the same hype went on over 9 1/2 Weeks back in the 80's. after I finally picked up that waste of paper in the bargain bin a year later, I read the damn thing in less than a day - and that included the multiple naps I took during my reading of it because it was SO BORING.
this time I won't even bother. I'll wait for the Lifetime version - HoHan will be waiting...
I'm with these ladies. I'd much rather smack around a man and put a bag over his head than have a man do that to me. Just. Don't. Get. It. I've never read this book, but any dumb ho can read S&M erotica on the internet for free.
"No activity that involves direct contact with electrical objects -"
"Ooh, thanks a lawt!"
I'm not entirely sure why, but this made me laugh more than anything.
Submitted by dementa on Sun, 06/17/2012 - 4:32pm.
You're assuming he/she bought the book. There are libraries and pirated copies.
Yeah thanks, I took that into consideration before making the post. You can add to her $ without buying the book - by reading it to "see what the hype is about" and encouraging some other fucker to do the same, who then goes on to buy the book.
Fuck me to tears. They are wonderful.
Submitted by Lucifer_Sam on Sun, 06/17/2012 - 4:31pm.
You're assuming he/she bought the book. There are libraries and pirated copies.
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I'm here to kick ass and drink tea. And I'm all out of tea.
Submitted by yolie on Sun, 06/17/2012 - 4:22pm.
Amazing how much $ the author is getting for such a horribly written book!!
- yet here you are reading it, adding to her $
Meh. I say if you want shocking, read Story of the Eye.
Still am trying to get through the first book. It is terrible! Just reading to see what the hype is about. Amazing how much $ the author is getting for such a horribly written book!!
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Damn! Nice hooker shoes, baby. Can you dance in those things?
Daddy Spears
These books (yes books) are so bad, my colleagues take quotes from them and e-mail each other. It's a great way to not make another writer's day.
They had some great one liners:
"Never do something that hurts"
"This is the best way to lose your virginity and then quit"
"Ouch"
HAHAHAHAHAHAAA!!! I love those memaws! They are right! Christian does sound like a good lover but let's face it, he's not real and this is a really bad fucked up novel, i hated it. A.L.O.T!
"Never do something that hurts!" Never do it indeed...
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"If I can't be my own, i'd feel better dead"- Nutshell
"Butt plug? What the hell is butt plug??? " - ahahahaha
I tried reading "50 Shades of Grey." Mommy porn, my ass. This is beginner's porn, the kind of shit you read on the internet at 16. It was so terribly written I could not take it seriously.
Having said that, I thoroughly enjoyed Gilbert Gottfried's reading of it.
"What's a butt plug?" *giggles like a twelve-year-old*
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"Uh, hello, room service? I'd like some bacon, a couple of Cokes, and a bunch of whores." -Butthead, of Beavis and Butthead
Every time someone talks about this "book" God kills a kitten.