Saturday, June 30th 2012
Birthday Sluts
Michael Phelps (27)
Allegra Versace (26)
Fantasia (28)
Cheryl Cole (29)
Patrick Wolf (29)
Lizzy Caplan (30)
Monica Potter (41)
Mike Tyson (47)
Vincent D'Onofrio (53)
David Alan Grier (57)
David Garrison (60)
Nancy Dussault (76)
Tags:
In the hilarious words of our beloved MK making up the nicknames dolphin boy and stoner of the sea I see him winning a couple more medals and getting a sea turtle pregnant afterwards.
We want to shower up (with) and then go down (on) Michael Phelps!
Submitted by WithinReason... on Sat, 06/30/2012 - 2:19pm.
i just like to smell nice lol
and it really depends on the mood/season/weather.
a few spritz of eau de parfum and im on my merry way.
my fave is when the straight girls ask me what im wearing cuz they want their bf's to smell like me lol
Ye gods! Busey's Choppers of Doom yesterday, and then THIS for today's Birthday Sluts? Are you TRYING to blind all of us, MK?
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"Men have forgotten this truth," said the fox. "But you must not forget it. You become responsible, forever, for what you have tamed."
--"The Little Prince", Antoine de Saint-Exupéry
Monica Potter looks like a ferret!
Michael Phelps. Meh.
Yes, most agree that Phelps' face is on the unfortunate side but that body is ridiculously cut.
I guess I'm crazy, but I find him incredibly disgusting. He looks deformed and he's ugly in the face.
Submitted by megank on Sat, 06/30/2012 - 6:01pm.
Holy crap, Janice Ian is 30! My, how time flies.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Yeah in dog years, maybe. WTF?
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www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
Holy crap, Janice Ian is 30! My, how time flies.
@Within
LOL! This old hor can still smell chlorine and hot men a mile away! Speaking of....
@Loopy
Pics, or that swimsuit didn't happen!!!
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"Uh, hello, room service? I'd like some bacon, a couple of Cokes, and a bunch of whores." -Butthead, of Beavis and Butthead
uh huh michael phelps michael, michael phelps HB michael phelps :D
and HB to my fav David Alan Grier (57)
and Nancy
and to all today your birthday!
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"5 mile an hour with aluminum side"
I knew Bacon would make an appearance sooner or later!
TonicBitch, I know climbing is amazing!
Twatty, if you enjoy swimming, keep to it girl.
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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Within, yes climbing! That is so much fun and a huge rush too.
Twat, it was during the spring and we were all WTF when we walked into the hotel and there were hundreds of people walking around in christmas gear, and don't even get me started on the constant jingling of bells the whole time we were there.
Thanks, BaconSlut, and thanks to all of my dlisted friends for inspiring to go out there and finding my swimming confidence! *hugs*
Within -- oh, no, climbing is not for me. I tried it at the club one day, got up 2 feet, and decided that shit was NOT for me. Honestly, I hate exercising, absolutely despise it, and swimming is one of the few things that actually appeals to me. It's my water sign Scorpio that's coming out.
Happiest birfday fondles and gropes to Michael Phelps! You do the sport proud! What? Ryan Lochte is still my main hor!
@Twatty
Irony of all ironies, while my mom was carting me to swim meets, she too was afraid of the water. When I was about 11, I convinced her to take a glass at the local YMCA--it had a funny name, something like "Swimming Lessons For The Adult Chicken." While her goal wasn't to become a swimmer, it gave her a ton of confidence when it came to being in and around the water.
I agree with the others who have suggested finding a class/instructor. I would look for someone that is used to working with adults, too. Adults have different mindsets and abilities than ankle-biters, after all!
I think it was the awesome Loopy that hit it on the head about confidence in the water. It all has to do with finding (and you will!) the right position for your body while in the water. All of a sudden, it will happen. You will know it immediately, and it will stick with you forever. Then, you just keep on building from there!
Best of luck to you! I know you can do it!
@SANS
Like I said before, I think this might be Lochte's Olympics. I get the distinct feeling that he has not shown us what he is capable of bringing! *wide grin*
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"Uh, hello, room service? I'd like some bacon, a couple of Cokes, and a bunch of whores." -Butthead, of Beavis and Butthead
Submitted by tonicbitch on Sat, 06/30/2012 - 2:50pm.
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That oily film that floats around... gags! But if you move around you can't see it! lol
@Twatty, ask around, they'll tell you who's the best instructor! Oh, and climbing is super fun too, if you like a real challenge! Lots of strong climbers to help you learn!
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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tonicbitch -- a Santa Claus convention? That sounds like a fucking nightmare! Now I'd be up for a Bad Santa convention; sign me up for that one.
Submitted by tonicbitch on Sat, 06/30/2012 - 2:50pm.
Personally public hot tubs gross me out way more than pools, I've seen some nasssstayy shit go down (no pun) in them.
GAH! Tonic, I'm a germophobe of sorts and that shit is just nasty. I don't care HOW MUCH chlorine is in that hot tub...when you see layers of dead skin around the edges and fucking pubes and shit...fucking GROSS. Yes, I've been to the Marriot. lmao
Twat, the absolute worst was a few years ago I was staying at a fancy resort and convention center with a nice indoor pool/water park. There was some old geezer Santa Clause convention at the hotel (no joke). I went down to the hot tub and it was filled with 20 old men in santa and elf hats all staring at me, probably hoping I would get in. Nightmares!
Within -- do you know of any instructors who look like Meloni, Hamm or Harmon? Something to think about!
tonicbitch -- a long time ago I belonged to a club. I had gone for a swim, and afterward I wanted to use the hot tub. There were two old geezers in the tub, sitting there all sprawled out, looking at me as I got in. They totally skeeved me out, nasty old coots. They probably jizzed in it.
Lucifer_Sam -- a friend of mine has a really nice pool. One day, she had a friend of hers over. Unfortunately, that friend has two demon children. Unbeknownst to my friend, one of the demon children took a dump in the pool -- the little fucker was seven at the time, way too old to take a dump in the pool, if you ask me. She found the offending turd and had to clear the pool and bomb it with chemicals. Yeah, literal shit does happen in pools.
Personally public hot tubs gross me out way more than pools, I've seen some nasssstayy shit go down (no pun) in them.
Submitted by Lucifer_Sam on Sat, 06/30/2012 - 2:21pm.
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But Lucy, you have nothing to fear! In a pool, the chemicals are industrial strength and people shower first, LOL. Plus, they take precautions, or it would look like a scene from Jaws. And unless you're swimming with David Gandy, there will be no boners or jizz. Now if you're in the sea, algae, jellyfish and electric eels will attack you first, then the sharks take care of the rest olololol
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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Thanks for the visual Lucifer_Sam! :/
Submitted by WithinReason... on Sat, 06/30/2012 - 1:46pm.
A friend of mine was terrified of swimming and I got her signed up for lessons and now she goes all the time.
I'm terrified of swimming too, but not because of the water or drowning. I'm afraid of people pissing, spitting, cumming, menstruating and shitting in the pool. If I had a personal pool I'd learn to swim and swim every day.
Submitted by loopygorilla on Sat, 06/30/2012 - 2:02pm.
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Loopy you must smell like a pastry perfume counter when you go out! Do they make sunscreen in lemon meringue? mmm You know what's great too? Beer, except only at home, or you'll smell like a brewery!
Twatty, you can do it! Work that little tail off and you'll feel so much better. Tip of the day: Find the cutest instructor! It'll do wonders if you're feeling down! Then go to a masseur to pamper your aching muscles! ☺
OnT: Phelps has a sweet smile, doesn't he?
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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Submitted by me0595 on Sat, 06/30/2012 - 1:08pm.
Why is WILLAM MOTHERFUCKING BELLI not on this list!!!??
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It's Willam's berfday??!! I'm going to beat my face in his honor. NURSE!
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What the fuck dude? And being European is NOT an excuse. - IHateCharityChic 05/10/2012
loopygorilla -- I think I'd have to go for one-on-one, only because I'm such a scaredy-cat. Seriously, I am that much of a mess in the water. But again, thanks for your encouragement & info. I had a good teacher (but god knows where she is now); too bad my personal life came crashing down around me and ruined the confidence I had built up. But I think I'm ready to start up again.
zzzzzzzz 3.30am in australia, its zzzz time
Submitted by WithinReason... on Sat, 06/30/2012 - 1:56pm.
lol im not saying im got the entire makeup counter in my swim bag, but i do always carry a bottle of simple vitamin e, its sold worldwide, and used by people with eczema cuz it doesnt irritate, and the simple vitamin e cream goes on the elbows and knees where my skin is dryest, and thighs and lower legs. lol
and then its facial moisturiser, a splash of armani acqua di gio, lip balm, coconut oil in my hair and hay presto..done
fyi, coconut oil (organic cold press) is soo gooooooooddd for your hair
Submitted by Twat Muffin on Sat, 06/30/2012 - 1:49pm.
i think within 12 lessons, you'd be splashing like a water baby lol
i did my lessons with 6 other people, so it wasnt as expensive as doing individual classes, but robert (yes i still remember his name) my teacher, taught me everything in 12 lessons, but i still kept getting lessons cuz i wasnt confident.
and he told me, "stop getting lessons, i want you to go and swim on your own, dont be scared" lol
Submitted by loopygorilla on Sat, 06/30/2012 - 1:45pm.
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I ♥ you Loopy! I do have thick long hair you mean those caps would fit and I won't look like marge simpson?!!! I'll try one cuz the chemicals are brutal. The whole bit with the moisturizer and tinted lip balm made me LOL!
Tonicbitch, you're so right, swimming does wonders for stress relief! And it's hard to get injured while swimming!
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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Submitted by WithinReason... on Sat, 06/30/2012 - 1:46pm.
A friend of mine was terrified of swimming and I got her signed up for lessons and now she goes all the time. It's great!
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yep thats what i was saying to twatmuffin, once you get the hang of swimming, it is really enjoyable and you start to swim all the time.
Submitted by WithinReason... on Sat, 06/30/2012 - 1:46pm.
lol those charlie swimmers are awesome, when i wear them i feel like getting out of the water like this
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ctgf5uxBQW8
but... if there are hot gays around and i wanna be abit naughty, i place both my hands on the edge of the pool and push myself out, so all the muscles are tensed and the water rushes down...
sorta like a bond gay.
tonicbitch -- thanks for the encouragement. I guess now it's a matter of finding the right teacher. I'm going to have to interview a few to find the right fit and also find the right club that I can afford.
Loopy, OF COURSE NO ONE THINKS YOU'D WEAR THOSE UNFORTUNATE SUITS!!!! Good heavens! We'd have to go emergency shopping immediately now, if you did!
Those are very cute swim trunks with the little belt hoops for your sheath! You have to workout hard to keep the perfect silhouette though. No messing around with those tiny pants! <3
A friend of mine was terrified of swimming and I got her signed up for lessons and now she goes all the time. It's great!
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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Submitted by WithinReason... on Sat, 06/30/2012 - 1:36pm.
you can get a cap for the hair, even if you have big hair, they have caps that fit ladies with long hair.
and with the skin, after swimming take a warm shower and when you are done, vitamin e cream all over, or you olay regenerist on your face and neck and it just smoothes the skin tone, and gives you a natural glow and then top it off with a cherry tinted lip balm, to highlight your lips but not make it seem like you are wearing lipstick.
Submitted by WithinReason... on Sat, 06/30/2012 - 1:22pm.
plus that V shape means when i wear a double breasted suit, i look awesome lol, cuz it just synches in the waist line and in pinstripe, it just gives the illussion that im not the short midget 5'9 loopygorilla but rather im much taller.
Submitted by tonicbitch on Sat, 06/30/2012 - 1:25pm.
yeah thats exactly why i do it, its like water yoga... lol
the water just cancels all the noise and when you've had a long day, its soo soothing just to spend 30mins -1 hour, or however long you feel like, going up and down the pool.
and using fins in between 20 laps is good, i know some ppl consider it cheating, but the fins correct your posture and when i take them off, i find i swim alot smoother, whereas if i didnt put fins in the beginning, i feel like my body isnt co-ordinating itself well, and i say to ppl who say im cheating sometimes cuz i use fins for the first 20 laps "well at least im doing some exercise, instead of doing nothing" lol
Twatty, that's true, 50's suits shouldn't get wet, put a flower in your hair and sit pretty! I love swimming, it's a terrible on the hair and skin but worth it for how you feel afterward. ღ
Can't help it, I like dolphin boy Phelps!
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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Submitted by WithinReason... on Sat, 06/30/2012 - 1:22pm.
lol omg those speedos are horrible... no no my swimming gear doesnt look like that at all.
i wear charlie swimmers
http://mensunderwearworld.com/charlie-swimwear-collection/
it has like little belts loops on the side, like a james bondesque gay outfit lol
mine is in brown color. but i also wear lots of aussiebums.
im not ashamed to wear speedos when i swim, but when im only lounging by the pool i wear those cute swimmer short shorts.
Twatty I hope you start up again soon! Swimming for me is a peaceful, meditative thing. It's easy to forget everything for awhile when it's just you and the water. It actually really helped me with my anxiety, and I'm thinking I need to start up again soon as well.
SANS I'm with you in the deep water thing. I mind it slightly less if I'm somewhere warm where the water is clear though and you can see what's around you.
Loopy, *whistles at the Halle booty bottoms* Ya those 50's suits are gorgeous. Perfect bubble butt is very coveted Loop-de-loop, watch out or they'll be taking a bite! Ever see these fools?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ipmCDzNRIDE
Phelps is amazing, the discipline is unbelievable. After more than 10 years you better have good V shape! ☺
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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SANS FARDS -- thank you for your info, too. All this info is really making me think I want to take more lessons. I'm like you, though, if my feet can't touch the bottom I freak the fuck out.
Within -- hey, baby! No, my Ava Gardner 50's suit is for looking cute & strutting around looking all Christina Hendricks-like by the pool when I go to Las Vegas next spring. For swimming lessons I'll resort to a Speedo brand suit most likely.
Butterface.
But he's sweet and I'd hit it (and his bong ) until the 2016 Olympics.
I am...doll parts...bad skin...doll heart.
Submitted by SANS FARDS on Sat, 06/30/2012 - 1:06pm.
i wish i was powerful enough to do competitive :( awww lol but i was too slow.
so i just swam for leisure.
yeah it does burn calories like crazy, people dont think so cuz ure not sweating and huffing and puffing like running, but after swimming i always feel like downing several thickshakes and having afew healthy burgers lol
swimming combo with cardio/light weights, and anybody can get a banging body.
Why is WILLAM MOTHERFUCKING BELLI not on this list!!!??
Btw, today is my birthday too but I'm not famous, unlike WILLAM MOTHERFUCKING BELLI.
Twat Muffin - I'll agree with everything Loopy has said re: swimming. I did the sport at the competitive level for 12 years or so, and grew to hate it once I needed shoulder surgery (I didn't end up getting it), but now I just do it once in a while for exercise, low impact, and it's a really fantastic way to exercise. It burns a ton of calories and is easier on your joints than running.
oh....and did I mention lung power? More breath capacity for those late night sex sessions ;)
Oddly enough even though I've been a water baby from day 1, I do have a really bad fear of deep water. Like, I can wade into the ocean and play in the waves, but as soon as my feet can't touch the ground, I flip out and start paddling back to shore. If I can't see the bottom, I don't go in...I'm really scared of swimming in lakes. IDK why that is; I figured I must've had a traumatic experience in the ocean when I was little?
anyways, HB Hot Slut Michael Phelps! maybe he'll let Lochte win one event, for consolation, but he's going to dominate. Trust.
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"You should always go to other people's funerals; otherwise, they won't come to yours."
- Yogi Berra
Submitted by WithinReason... on Sat, 06/30/2012 - 12:52pm.
and swimming gives you a great ass as well lol all that kicking builds a nice round butt that makes all the gay cooooooo and whistle when you walk pass
Submitted by WithinReason... on Sat, 06/30/2012 - 12:52pm.
lol i would totally wear a 50s ava gardner suit!
hmm well i just wear me charlie brown booty swimmers. its like the gay version of halle berry's swimming shorts from the james bond movie lol
Loopy, with you on the power of swimming, SO GOOD for the heart too! Just like cycling excellent exercise!
Twatty, but will you wear your 50's style Ava Gardner swimsuit to your lessons?
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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