Tommy Will Sue The National Enquirer Over This
The Hollywood Reporter says that Little Lord Tommy Girl and his band of lawyers have threatened to sue American Media Inc., the company that owns The National Enquirer, for spitting out slanderous lie after slanderous lie about his latest marriage and divorce. The National Enquirer will respond to the letter by shredding it into a tub of aloe vera oil and muddling it until it's the consistency of premium ass lube. Then they'll give it Tommy to rub on all the burns they put on his ass. Because that's a better use for that letter and The National Enquirer doesn't give two shits about Tommy's threats.
Tommy's lawyer Bertram Fields is especially chapped over the Enquirer's latest cover about Tommy's house of horrors. The story claims that Tommy locked Suri in a windowless room for five months and mentally abused Katie. Bert writes that the cover is "disgusting and lurid," is ruining Tommy's reputation and will cost Scientology's Little Miss Grand Supreme hundreds of millions of dollars of personal and professional damages. You can read the whole letter here, but here's a small piece:
"Your cover announces, as a fact, that 'THE REAL TOM CRUISE IS A MONSTER.' Mr. Cruise is certainly not a 'monster.' He is a caring father, a hardworking actor and, above all, an honest, decent man." The cover also includes the headline "Inside Tom's House of Horrors" alongside a picture of Cruise's Beverly Hills residence as well as allegations that Holmes led a "tortured life" with the actor before filing for divorce on June 28.
Can't Tommy use his True Blood-like powers to glamour the image of that cover from all of our memories? And can't he use his Carrie-like powers to move all copies of that shit from the newsstands into the gutter? I'm guessing that Tommy traded in a whole lot of reward tickets at the Scientology prize area to get those powers. Well, he needs to get all his tickets back, because those powers aren't working.
If Tommy wants to sue a bitch for ruining his reputation, he should sue himself. Tom Cruise ruined Tom Cruise's reputation. That said, somebody should still sue The National Enquirer for that fraudulent cover on the left. They made a nation believe that Tommy was up to no good when he got half-nekkid and slipped into bed with another woman. We all know that Tommy was only lying half-naked on a bed in the presence of a woman, because she was there to wax, bleach and henna tattoo the coordinates of Xenu's safe house on his ass lips. The public demands a retraction and clarification, Enquirer!
And here's Katie, Suri and Katie's mom at the Central Park Zoo yesterday. It's nice to see Suri interacting with human children without Scientology handlers grabbing her while screaming, "She's been exposed!"
I think since she is dealing w. people who might tail her and help her have an "accident" or walk off w. the kid, she'd rather they were in a very public place.
Poor Suri...doesn't know how to interact w. other kids. Have we ever seen her w. any friends her own age? I'm just thinking of how unhinged Tom is...the way he acts...combine that with the paparazzi constantly in her face, and I think that's why Suri looks/acts the way she does. She doesn't have a very good role model. Kids show their emotions the way they see their parents showing theirs. My mom never smiled and laughed...and while I'm a pleasant enough person, I do have a hard time expressing excitement or smiling...bc I didn't see that growing up.
"Submitted by kacky on Thu, 07/12/2012 - 8:45pm.
Katie is as messed up as he is, IMO. Why is she still parading that kid around for the paparazzi? She can afford to move someplace away from cameras and still give Suri a normal upbringing.
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Perhaps one of the Human Children that Suri Cruise is now hanging around can convince her to cut that oh-so-tragic stringy hair.
Suri has been looking more normal-ish lately, and it seems she has finally learned to walk!
Kid is growing on me a bit. If Katie wins and CO$ leaves her alone, maybe she's got a chance at life.
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"Hooooooty who give an eff about Haiti?! I don't! BAM!" - MK as Taylor Momsen
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Submitted by kiwikim on Fri, 07/13/2012 - 2:06am.
The only way I'll believe Tommy girl is hetero and loves the Vajenie is if a sex tape "accidentally" leaked of Tommy girl going bronko billy on some random ho, flipping, missionary, doggie, helicopter, cowgirl, reverse cowgirl, upside down, wall banger.
but something tells me that aint never gonna happen, cuz when tommy sees a vajayjay, he shrieks "ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh girl germs, get it off me get it off"
and the last time tommy saw a vagina that upclose was when they used a turkey baser on Katie and some unknown liquid from Katie's vagina squirted into Tommy's eye and he has been scarred by the experience ever since.
Fields writes that ".....about Mr. Cruise will be there for all time, to be read by his children and, someday, his grandchildren."
Yes Mr. Fields. Yes Tom. Yes.
For all time.
What your cult did to hurt so many people will be written about and read by your children and grandchildren, for all time.
The Truth shall set them free.
@loopy
So true. They're always working a bit too hard to quash the gay rumors.
Tom Cruise is going to sue the only other entity on the planet that routinely talks about aliens. Brilliant. What an asshole.
I'm pretty sure LRH wrote those alien stories for NE.
Bat boy looks an awful lot like Xenu to me.
http://www.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http://laist.com/attachments/la_tomd...
I see the Tommy Press machine (his sister who is also a scientohoe is his press agent) is working overtime to paint him as a tuna pounding pussy eating machine.
In the New York Post, this is what has been reported.
Sources tell us Cruise and Kurylenko, 32, who plays his lover, have “a great deal of chemistry.” They were spotted last month filming in New York, smiling at each other and holding hands while the cameras rolled outside the Empire State Building. But Cruise’s rep insisted, “They are shooting a movie and they are actors — their chemistry on set is them acting. It’s their job.”
yeah right...
Tommy should be gald he gets any press, good or bad. Hes so over.
Suris curious to see children without a green glazed zombie expression.
They all need a mothers day out.
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"Five-card poker on a Saturday night, Church on Sunday morning"
Submitted by noshitsherlock on Sun, 07/08/2012 - 1:05am.
"Sorry everyone. I'll get back to lurking and you all continue to be awesome :)"
Creepiness aside, I do feel bad for Suri, in thumb 4 she's smiling at the other little girl, like ooooh wow, with this little look on her face smiling like she wants to be liked and belong. Kind of gives me the sads.Fuck Kate and Fuck Tom.Like I said, all creepiness aside, she still is a child, and I just feel bad for her.
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"What if all you understand could fit into the center of a hand? And then you found it wasn't you, who held the sum of everything you knew?"
Xenu...take him back PLEASE!
That little black girl in the third thumbnail is giving a side-eye of fear and thinking "that white kid is crazy." I said it before, and I'll say it again, Suri is one creepy lookin kid. I don't think changing up her style or hair would change it. It's not her hair thats creepy, it's not even ger clothes, her Children of the Corn face.
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"What if all you understand could fit into the center of a hand? And then you found it wasn't you, who held the sum of everything you knew?"
I love how our own Doll-Parts is exposing the CO$ crazy, line by line. We don't know what it means but it's definitely CRAZY.
And finally, this ... "If Tommy wants to sue a bitch for ruining his reputation, he should sue himself. Tom Cruise ruined Tom Cruise's reputation."MK
I'm hoping this mess goes to court and Tommy Girl throws his buddy David Miscavige under the bus and divulges just what ol Davey Boi has done to/with his wife Shelly Miscavige. After all, Inquiring minds want to know...
Katie is as messed up as he is, IMO. Why is she still parading that kid around for the paparazzi? She can afford to move someplace away from cameras and still give Suri a normal upbringing.
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Cockadouche!
Has anyone utilized that rage pic of Tom as an avi yet? WhereTF is snowy or pleci or any other brave snark???
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"Discussions about what is good, beautiful, noble, pure, true, could always go on. Why is that important? Because that is the only conversation worth having." C.Hitchens,1949-2011. (RIP MCA, "no sleep til Brooklyn") *caprica six was/is here*
Submitted by Libra on Thu, 07/12/2012 - 8:04pm.
Say what you want about Tom and Katie but Suri is an adorable little girl. Very pretty!
And thumbnail #4 is proof enough Tom is her biological father... she looks exactly like him in that photo!
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I agree, she's very pretty, but see in that last thumbnail she looks to me like the "other" guy Josh Hartnett
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Success is a great deodorant ~ Liz
Submitted by dementa: "I think Suri's in for a rude awakening when she tries to play with other kids."
Truly.
My nephew is an only child with an overindulgent, over-protective nanny. When he's with my kids or his other cousin, he does not know what to do. 99% of his interaction is with three adult women who coddle and adore him, and will do anything to make sure he doesn't cry.
He has no concept of sharing toys or taking turns or why his whining has no effect on the other kids. He likes to be around them, but he doesn't get the interaction part.
He's going to preschool soon and either he's gonna figure out how to hold his ground or he's gonna be a doormat. He's a good-natured little dude, so I worry.
Submitted by undinespragg on Thu, 07/12/2012 - 6:07pm.
THOSE BOOOOOTS! WHY?????
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LMFAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO Udinespragg! I fking k.n.o.w.!!! Where in damnation hell is the mega-watt flamethrower of DListed (who the fk had it last??!) when you need it?? KATIE BURN THOSE XENUFORSAKEN THINGS JESUS THEY LOOK LIKE THEY CAME OFF OF A PENN STATION HOBO'S FEET. DAMNIT ALREADY, THROW SOME CROCKS ON, ANYTHINGGGGG!! BUT THOSE FKING THINGS
*migraine going on; bopped on here for shits; bops off*
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"Discussions about what is good, beautiful, noble, pure, true, could always go on. Why is that important? Because that is the only conversation worth having." C.Hitchens,1949-2011. (RIP MCA, "no sleep til Brooklyn") *caprica six was/is here*
Say what you want about Tom and Katie but Suri is an adorable little girl. Very pretty!
And thumbnail #4 is proof enough Tom is her biological father... she looks exactly like him in that photo!
With the recent rumor of Katie wanting to change her name to Scout. I'm confused as to which one is the crazier parent... poor Suri!
Tom's House of Horrors? They talk about the guy like he's H.H. Holmes.
Let's hope it does go to court. There will be so much dirty laundry, the US supply of perchloroethylene couldn't even clean it. I don't think TC or his "people" realize that *none* of this is helping (what's left of his questionable) public image.
Ok, can we just get rid of this scientology cult once and for all please.
Enough already, you provided us with some good laughs over the years but your act is getting real old and real stale. Besides that you are hurting innocents.
When will Cruise learn that constantly suing is just making him look like an even bigger shmock?
OH and national enquirer... Tommy in bed with a naked woman??? LOL. That is the best joke yet!
Time for everyone to work to putting an end to this cult.
Well obviously he's suing over the first cover. How DARE they insinuate that he slept with a woman? Tommy is strickly dickly.
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It's PHELPS time!
THOSE BOOOOOTS! WHY?????
Poor Suri, she's looking at that other little girl the way my dog looks at other dogs...What is THAT thing??? She needs to socialize with other kids.
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I've written a letter to MK...saying...I...love...youuuuuu.
Submitted by dementa on Thu, 07/12/2012 - 6:00pm.
I think Suri's in for a rude awakening when she tries to play with other kids. If they annoy her, she can't simply summon her team of Sea Org slaves to come beat the kids to death with tire irons.
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true dat! Makes me wonder if she ever has played with other children? She seems to have always been surrounded by adults.
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"Is it weird in here, or is it just me?" Steven Wright
I think Suri's in for a rude awakening when she tries to play with other kids. If they annoy her, she can't simply summon her team of Sea Org slaves to come beat the kids to death with tire irons.
And FINALLY she's being dressed like a normal kid, not in these Disney princess dresses with heeled shoes.
Submitted by stefystef on Thu, 07/12/2012 - 5:46pm.
THANK YOU! I am so tired of people calling them a church or religion, when they don't seem to have any actual beliefs in the supernatural.
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I'm here to kick ass and drink tea. And I'm all out of tea.
"I gave birth to Elvis's two-headed love child on a UFO" is a true story I read in the National Enquirer.
Because they print TRUE FACTS.
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Visit Anthony Higgins Performances on Facebook.
Submitted by DiamondDogs on Thu, 07/12/2012 - 3:22pm.
I have no doubt there was some 'Flowers in the Attic' shit going on there.
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HAHAHAHAHAHA!
God, I love this place! :D
Fuck the CULT of $cientology and everyone involved with them.
Submitted by Jeanneee on Thu, 07/12/2012 - 3:20pm.
I really hope this whole mess is the beginning of the end for CO$. It's time for this shit to end. Does anyone even still believe all of these people's preposterous lies? It's like the fall of the third reich or something - that scene at the end of the movie "Downfall" where everyone except the fuehrer knows it's over...
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I, too, hope this is the end of the Scientologist farce (I REFUSE to call it a church, because it is not). I want the govt to take away their tax-free status and then you'll see the fuckers crumble.
They convinced Tom that he is a god of some kind and we know what God does to those who liken themselves to him- He smoots them! *LOL*
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Grow up, Demi, and do coke off toilet seats like the rest of us adults do!- Michael K, 1/26/12
Yes. If this were a just world he would be suing the ne for daring to report he was caught in bed with a *woman* eeeeewwww
Super...pow...ers fai..ling! *falls to earth and hits like a ton of bricks*
Submitted by Hekki on Thu, 07/12/2012 - 5:17pm.
I like the way she's taking Suri outside every single day. Even if it's to spite Tom, at least the kid is doing normal stuff.
But it's too bad she can't enroll her in a nice day camp and let her be even more normal. Baby steps, I guess.
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There are plenty of private day camps here in NYC that she can take Suri and it would be a controlled environment. All she needs to do is call Angelina and ask her about the French school she had Maddox in.
If Tom doesn't want Suri in Catholic school, there are plenty of private, secular schools here for darlin' Suri to attend... Nightingdale, Spence, Brealey- all girls.
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Grow up, Demi, and do coke off toilet seats like the rest of us adults do!- Michael K, 1/26/12
Submitted by Whamo on Thu, 07/12/2012 - 3:27pm.
Submitted by DiamondDogs on Thu, 07/12/2012 - 3:22pm.
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I'm glad you're back:)
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Thank you, my friend.
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"Is it weird in here, or is it just me?" Steven Wright
I like the way she's taking Suri outside every single day. Even if it's to spite Tom, at least the kid is doing normal stuff.
But it's too bad she can't enroll her in a nice day camp and let her be even more normal. Baby steps, I guess.
She is smiling at the sheep in the first thumb. Doesn't lessen her creep factor though.
That kid never fucking smiles. There's a smirk that's scary as shit in the thumbnail, but no smile.
Kind of proves you can give a kid everything they want materially, but it's never going to be the same as love and emotional stability.
Submitted by Lisbet459 on Thu, 07/12/2012 - 2:32pm.
Suing The Enquirer, of ALL the tabloids, makes it look like they've got something right.
He may just be lashing out now that Holmes is too public and sympathetic to target, but I'd have ignored that if he hadn't stepped in.
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Maybe he's trying to attract attention away from some other allegations...
Why is she wearing those boots? It's motherfucking HOT in NYC. Today and yesterday. Way too hot for jeans and boots.
That family's thermostat is way off.
So he is hopping mad about the abuse allegations but not the ones that he was banging some chick...? Am I getting that right?
Eeenteresting.
I am surprised the animals didn't run away from Suri at the zoo like in "The Omen"!
Memo to self: Must go pee before reading Micheal K's site. "Scientology's Little Miss Grand Supreme". Either I've been watching too much Toddler's and Tiaras or that is damn clever.
Paula Deen just like everyone else whos BS I lost the weight with --------
Yeah right, bitch got a lap band ! Just like the rest of the SLORES on my list
Jennifer Hudson
Marie osmond
Carrie fisher
Valerie bertinelli
Kirstie alley
Raven Simone
Jonah hill
Drew Carrey*
Kunty Karl Lagerfeld
Christina Ricci
Nancy Wilson *
Carnie Wilson*
John popper*
Dj AM*
Leila Ali *
Sharon osbourne*
Anne Rice*
&
There are many many others and the names with an * have disclosed it.
"If it were socially acceptable I would esconce myself in velvet. " George Costanza
That’s some BS right there.
Tommy Girl’s Team: Yeah, I need you to run a story on Tom and a mysterious woman. And somebody needs to be naked, or at least half.
National Enquirer: You got to be kidding me. Nobody will believe that shit. Everybody thinks he’s either a psycho or fuckin’ guys left and right. He’s got the personality of a 1950’s vibrator – all shock and no awe.
TGT: You can’t print that….Look, this Katie thing has blown Tom out of the water and he needs to beef up his image. Um…, but don’t use the words beef and blow together in a sentence., okay?
NE: *snicker*
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Why don't you dance with me? I'm not no limburger.
NE vets all that shizz before they publish it. TC is a public figure so it's really hard for him to make a case against NE unless he can show actual malice--that NE was recklessly out to git him. Besides, it's probably true.
Submitted by Zorba-the-Geek on Thu, 07/12/2012 - 4:13pm.
I love that pic of Tom screaming so they can say "Tommy Girl is a monster!" He was probably at a premiere being his usual spastic self. I imagine he was saying "Hell to the yeah!!" or "Rock on, man!" Something dumb that only a nerdy dad would say.
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Yea I thought so too but his eyes look dark and angry.
I love that pic of Tom screaming so they can say "Tommy Girl is a monster!" He was probably at a premiere being his usual spastic self. I imagine he was saying "Hell to the yeah!!" or "Rock on, man!" Something dumb that only a nerdy dad would say.
Isn't there a small amount of truth in some of their outlandish stories?
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How can a man be a mom?
*swoon* at DWM... such a BITCH! by Jack-n-the-
How could suri be locked in a room for 5 months when we are bombarded with photos of her all the time. Tom seems to busy with filming all of the time too.