The Trinity Of Terror
Q: "Why did every L.A. area drug dealer tell me they were all out of the bad shit when I called each and every one of them on Tuesday night?" - Charlie Sheen
A: Lindsay Lohan, Lady GaGa and Lana Del Rey had a slumber party at the Chateau Marmont. The end.
William Shakespeare is somewhere up in heaven, slapping himself in the face with his quill pen for being born in the wrong time period, because this right here is more terrifying than any three witches scene from Macbeth. X17Online via (via Digital Spy) says that the Chateau Marmont almost crumbled into a million pieces from the weight of bloated egos, mountains of cocaine, polyester weaves and plastic lip jelly in one room. A source says that Lady CaCa, LiLo and Llama Del Meh (aka The Evil Ls) had dinner in the garden before going up to a room to "play dress up, watch old movies and play board games." You should've read that last part while making air quotes, because that's obviously just fuckedupmess code for whiskey enemas, gargling coke with their nostrils and passing out in a puddle of vomit ("Try to pass out in your own!" - tip of the night from LiLo).
Earlier in the night, LiLo tweeted "#skinnysnack1" (translation: #cooooooooke1) at CaCa and CaCa tweeted a picture of a cucumber on the bar. I don't even want to know what they did with that cucumber, but my thoughts and condolences go out to its family, because it can't be easy knowing that its last moments were painful, disgusting and involved lots of toxic body fluids.
If this story is true and isn't just a piece from a horrific fanfic, then it was probably the most boring and annoying threesome ever. Spaced out Lana Del Rey slow danced with a floor lamp all night while CaCa and LiLo melted the paint on the walls by talking non-stop, over each other, about their (f)art. Still, I hope this never happens again, because the world does not need the second coming of the West Hollywood Three.
Here's LiLo leaving a restaurant last night and ho should be using her hands to hold down the top of her head instead of covering her face, because her scalp is practically falling off. Lady CaCa should be ashamed of herself. Bitch snorted up a patch of LiLo's hair when a little coke got on her head.
Submitted by Hekki on Fri, 07/13/2012 - 12:06pm.
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Bwahaha! Anyone hanging out with Lilo is guaranteed sumpthin's gonna happen;
You're gonna be picking her up off the ground,
she's gonna embarrass you trying to bogart her way into a club/bar/restaurant,
she's gonna steal people's drinks, you gonna have to pick her up off the ground,
you gonna have to pull a mf offa her for mouthing off, you gonna have to get outta the way cuz you gettin your ass beat just for being with her,
you gonna have to pick her up off the ground,
you gonna have to decide if you a ride or die bitch when she hooks up with some skeezy, hairy, musky smellin mofo who got some coke and wanna party
and on top of it all she gonna steal your stuff that ain't even worth stealing.
Louise -- they were mystified as to what was causing the anemia, then found some GI bleeding, then thought celiac, but quickly ruled it out. I have chronic weakness & a faint feeling, but have been good for the past 6 months. Surprisingly, though, my hair is healthier than it has ever been; go figure.
Athina -- wow, that's amazing that you don't feel weak or tired; consider yourself lucky. That's atypical of an anemia patient. Maybe your body has gotten used to the anemia and that's why you don't feel that way. Here's hoping no more transfusions. I've also been through 2 rounds of iron infusion therapy; they basically administer the iron in a chemo-like way. It's a bitch; you have to be pre-medicated for tons of stuff. For me, it was nausea, headache & tightness in the chest. The first time I had it I thought I was going to have a heart attack. I've been anemic since childhood, but it didn't start up heavy-duty until 2 1/2 years ago. I just volunteered at a blood drive because I feel so strongly about people donating blood. I will never be able to donate blood, but it was my way of thanking people who do donate blood.
@Cowjam:
"Hollywood's most notorious grifter"
You summed it right up!
Submitted by ethang on Fri, 07/13/2012 - 11:15am.
This is a PR stunt set up by their teams. Lindsay's got a movie to promote, Gaga has become somewhat irrelevant and Del Rey didn't have the impact she expected.
Nothing to see here, folks.
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+1
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"Dude is like a human version of a white, windowless van" - Michael K.
A regular brain trust going on there.
*chanting as always*
Shut the fuck up kid, you're in my closet now.
I just gave my head follicles a hug. While I whispered sweet nothings to them.
My hair is traumatized.
I don't even feel bad for her anymore. In her mind, she is having fun and is a serious actress. PPPFFTTT!
♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥
Don't blame me! I voted for Kodos!
http://lif3d3sign.tumblr.com/
Ewwww what's that stuff in Lilo's hair? Looks like snot or jizz.
Gaga and Del Rey should make sure they still have their jewelry, credit cards and the money that they came with.
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"Bye, Whore" -MK
Chateau Marmont: Where relevance goes to die. Except for "Lana", who is never going to happen (like "fetch").
*channels mean girl Regina George* Stop trying to make Lana happen!! She's NEVER going to happen!!
She needs to stop changing her hair color every second and rub some onions on the bald spot.
Doobies and Boobies--Brandon Brown
On the downside for everyone between WeHo and Malibu, Lohan's driving again. On the upside, there are a lot of twisting roads with dropoffs or big trees.
Submitted by Twat Muffin on Fri, 07/13/2012 - 11:40am.
Louise -- you're anemic, too? OMG, so am I! Any blood transfusions? Thank god I'm okay right now, but for 2 years I went through hell with it.
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Hi there, chronic anemia here too. I've had several blood transfusions in the past 2 years. Funny thing is, I never feel tired or sick, ever. They just tell me my iron levels are dangerously low and it could affect other organs in my body. Doesn't help that I hate eating meat. But I do take supplements and vitamins. Ugh.
I guess they have to stay relevant somehow. What a stupid PR stunt.
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It's PHELPS time!
Submitted by MissDior on Fri, 07/13/2012 - 12:13pm.
I would have loved to see her face. I bet it was an odd mix of bloat and dehydration.
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Can you imagine what she looks like with no makeup and no weave? She really would look like Gollum.
Submitted by Hekki on Fri, 07/13/2012 - 12:06pm.
the way people did with Janis Joplin or John Belushi or River Phoenix.
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I watched the Last 24 show on... well the last 24 hours of celebs life and the one on River was sad. He slowly OD but had they got him help right away he would have still been alive. His friends took him outside the Viper Club for "some air" when they should have got his ass to the hospital but what are ya gonna do, what's done is done. Sad because he really did have potential to be a great actor.
Her hair looks like it hurts. You can even see the last few strands hanging on by the Grace of God and a ball of weave glue. I would have loved to see her face. I bet it was an odd mix of bloat and dehydration.
Gardening Girl - LMAO! Exactly. My ice-washed suede fringe jean jacket was awesome, but I put it away.
HOLY MOLY, I didn't see the photos of her bald spot/s on my phone!!!
Oh yeah, that's from the extensions. In my opinion, whatever you're trying to augment artificially gets ruined even worse. Nails, hair, boobs, teeth, etc.
Even if you ditch the fakeness, it takes a long time to grow out the damage, if you even can...
Submitted by Whamo on Fri, 07/13/2012 - 12:05pm.
all together now: AWWWWWWW Da kitty iz smiling.
If that don't warm the cockles of your heart, nothin will.
*clutches pearls* I dont know where YOU live bambam but we do NOT have people like this were I live! *faints*
GaGa may be past her peak, but she is still a gazillionaire, and I understand that Lana Del Who? has family money. What the hell were they thinking hooking up with Hollywood's most notorious grifter? I can see GaGa and Lana at home today wondering what happened to their cash, joo-rey and leftover coke, while Gollum sits gleefully on her bed toting up the loot from last night's haul.
The only reason anyone hangs out with her anymore is because it might be her last night on earth and they'd have bragging rights forever, the way people did with Janis Joplin or John Belushi or River Phoenix.
"...yeah, I was with Lindsay Lohan just hours before she died, man... it was intense...."
Twat- oh wow! Yours sounds much worse then mine. I get really dizzy on standing (which sometimes leads to fainting) and then the hair thing. I guess in people with celiac disease anemia is really common. Celiac disease is crappy, but in the grand scheme of things there area A LOT of things that are much, much worse. If it's the worst thing that ever happens to me, I'll have lead a charmed life.
As for Lilo, her hair loss is probably traction alopecia from constantly having extensions or horrible nutrition from a steady diet of crack, oh I mean, sea jasper.
Holy bald spot, Lilo!! Hahahaha! You need to pull a Britney and wear a wig for awhile, damn girl.
And EW at this trio, ashtray, pennywise and bouffant.
Thanks louise_brooks! I see that now. I guess she is just trying to hang onto that look now. Ya know I used to LOVE my pixie boots from the 80's yet even I moved on.
Submitted by Ophelias evil twin on Fri, 07/13/2012 - 11:58am.
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For no other reason than you're avie made me look up a few pictures, I always get a kick out of doggie and kitties hangin out
http://dl.glitter-graphics.net/pub/911/911091tv52niy9k9.jpg
bambam: You're totally right. Hard bitch, that one.
Damn Lilo got that gaze you see in women walking down your block at 3 or 4 oclock in the morning.
You sorta know why they're out this time of the morning but you'e not used to seeing them in your area and they look at you and they're not scared at all. That girl lives harrrd.
fun fact: gaga was on epi of the hills way back when.
ImpertinentVixen -- OMG, "Trilogy of Terror" is one of my favorite movies ever!!! The Zuni warrior is a hot bitch, don't ya think? I'd love to throw Blohan in a hot oven and close the door.
How do you know your career's in the turrlet? When you start hanging out with Cokie McJailbird that's how..
JFC that hair! Shave it off bitch! You clearly need to start over.
Louise -- I was tested for celiac but found out I didn't have it. That sucks for you; sorry to hear that. It's got to be hard to shop for food and to eat out; hang in there, cutie. I've had 5 transfusions & dozens of ER visits & hospitalizations. Also take prescription vitamin D & self inject vitamin B as well as iron supplements.
JFC! The wallpaper pic on Blohan's twatter is horrible. Does she think it looks good? Because she looks about 50 shades of fucked up in that picture.
Submitted by Dj Tenn. on Fri, 07/13/2012 - 11:51am.
its interesting how the media potrays addicts based on gender, the men are rockin party animals , women are coke whores.
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Really, I think most people are called out for what they are regardless of gender I could be wrong but who would be example?
Bad Move Gaga.. Lana del Rey..whatever, your're dads a record co. zillionaire..
I have the feeling the Liz & Dick TV movie is going to have to do a script revision where Liz gets hit by an acid truck and spends a nite in a ditch since Linds is looking progressively worse and worse as shooting falters on..
its interesting how the media potrays addicts based on gender, the men are rockin party animals , women are coke whores.
Its not plastic surgery , its a medical condition!!
Twat Muffin- yes, it sucks. No transfusions or injections yet. I've got celiac disease and I don't absorb vitamins properly. Plus, since I can't eat things like enriched breads and cereals, I have to get extra vitamins other places. It blows.
More like Trilogy of Terror. Throw them in the oven and slam the door!!
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Visit Anthony Higgins Performances on Facebook.
These talents are perfect for "American Idol". They can totally ignore the contestants, smoke, throw drinks at each other and make Paris Hilton jokes between commercials for Maybelline, The Olive Garden and Bud Lite.
"Leave Gaga aloooooooone!" -me in Chrissy Crocker voice :)
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Gardening Girl - you know, I was looking at them and they look more like athletic leggings that runners or cyclists would wear instead of fashion leggings you would get like Macy's (check out the waistband). My husband has some Under Armor ones he wears under his jeans when he has to work outside in the winter and they looks just like that.
Louise -- you're anemic, too? OMG, so am I! Any blood transfusions? Thank god I'm okay right now, but for 2 years I went through hell with it.
Where has Gaga been lately anyway? Last I heard she was having a meltdown saying she was going to become a recluse and shun the media or some BS, She has seemed to have dropped off the face of the earth though so maybe she went crazy.
Why is Blohan wearing leggings??? Do they still sell leggings?
Whoa, if you look at the pic of Lohan's covered face, you can see a majorly receding hairline too. Sad. Someone buy the girl a hat...
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"When in doubt, freak 'em out" -- Sharon Needles
If she wasn't a terrible person, I think I'd almost feel bad about her hair. I'm anemic and it makes my hair thin sometimes.
Is Mange considered an STD?
Ha! I remember the New York Post had this headline with a picture of the West Hollywood Three on the front page:
"BIMBO SUMMIT"
We should just use that term for such excursions as these from now on.
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"When in doubt, freak 'em out" -- Sharon Needles
Can you imagine her head with out extensions? Talk about "ermahgerd!"
*waits for excuse why her head looks so bad*
Lana Del Rey has stupid, trying-too-hard hair. Gaga is annoying, but she's too good to be hanging out with either one of those broads, especially Lilo.
This looks like another random as fuck friends circle courtesy of that ultimate matchmaker, cocaine.
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Taking crazy things seriously is a serious waste of time."
— Haruki Murakami