Hot Slut Of The Day!
Dr. Fredric Brandt, world-renowned cosmetic dermatologist and a fantastical beauty I thought only existed deep within the mind of J.K. Rowling. You probably can't get up right now, because looking at that precious picture of Dr. Brandt made your asshole pucker so hard that it suctioned itself to your chair.
Every weekday morning at 11, I keep The View on in the background, because the sound of rabid, crazy hens hysterically pecking at the same seed really helps me to work. And about halfway into yesterday's show, the high-pitched pecking suddenly stopped and was replaced by the ethereal vision of a shining albino sun whose shooting rays of beauty covered my retinas with perfection. I don't even know what the hell Dr. Brandt was on there to talk about, because I temporarily lost my sense of hearing to focus on taking in his radiant gorgeousness with my eyes. But after his segment ended when he disappeared in a cloud of star dust, I Googled his ass and found out that he's the greatest cosmetic dermatologist who has ever lived, or something. Dr. Brandt is like a plastic surgeon, but instead of using a scalpel as his paint brush, he uses a needle full of injectables to create his masterpieces. Apparently, Madge is one of his clients and so I guess she's the Mona Lisa to his da Vinci. Makes sense since Madge looks like Mona Lisa if you recreated Mona Lisa's face using creamed veal, spray lacquer and the butt cheeks of a newborn baby.
If you mixed together the potent essence of an Austin Powers villain, the charisma of Lucius Malfoy, the grace of Glenn Close as Albert Nobbs, a drop of blood from a vampire swan and the judgmental gaze of a snobby ostrich, you still wouldn't come close to matching the overall majesty of Dr. Brandt. J.K. Rowling so needs to rewrite the ending to Harry Potter, because it should end like this: "And as soon as Harry came face to gorgeous face with the Death Eaters' answer to Aphrodite, Dr. Fredric Brandt, he dropped his wand, got lost in the doctor's beauty and surrendered himself. Oh, and Dr. Brandt totally fixed that scar on Harry's forehead in just a few office visits. The end."
And somebody please tell Lucius Malfoy to cancel his appointment at Supercuts, because he could never pull off a bob the way Dr. Brandt pulls off a bob. Excuse this Death Eaters' beauty.
Auditions for Zoolander 2, are really happening? (And, YIKES!!)
How old is he?! He's IMMORTAL!!!
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Time cast a spell on you but
You won't forget me
I know I could have loved you but
You would not let me
-Fleetwood Mac
He doesn't look like he put the lotion in the basket - he looks like he drank the lotion then masturbated in the basket and dumped that all over his face.
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www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
Submitted by Saphris on Sat, 07/14/2012 - 2:31pm.
I want to punch people who make that stupid fish face in pictures.
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http://antiduckface.com/
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ALWAYS check the setting on the blowtorch!
OMG he's serving Buffalo Bill realness in that first pic
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"Let them measure my anus and see if it is dilated."
- Andrés García Torres, inventor of the Catholic Anus Ruler
Thumb #5 is like a scene out of a horror movie.
Do we know how old he is? Because if he's like in his 100s, okay then. But anywhere below 100 and he looks like a frozen pina colada without the fruit. Okay, he IS a fruit but you get what I mean. You KNOW he don't have no cherry!
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www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
I see a dermatologist, but I would not let him within 100 yards of my face, or any other part of my body.
Yikes. Look at his hand in the pic with Marc Jacobs.
Yowza.
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www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
Before I even read that Madge was one of his clients, I thought, "this freak has just like Madonna!" Now I know why...
*shudder*
I want to punch people who make that stupid fish face in pictures.
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"I felt very still & very empty, the way the eye of a tornado must feel, moving dully along in the middle of the surrounding hullabaloo."
THIS is NOT good advertisment for his work!
PS - You slores lay off of Julian Sands! Or Ima cut you!
Creepy pulled and peeled freak!
Submitted by Wanted on Sat, 07/14/2012 - 2:21pm.
Pssssst. It's Julian Sands.
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www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
He looks like Julian Sands as Dr. Nick Cavanaugh if Boxing Helena was set in a post-apocalyptic world 10,000 years into the future and all the humans migrated to live underground to serve the machines.
EDIT: It's Julian not Julius Thanx Dog
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"Let them measure my anus and see if it is dilated."
- Andrés García Torres, inventor of the Catholic Anus Ruler
Mommy, I'm scared!
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Who are you calling silly cow?
He still looks like he's 900 years old.
That is the worst possible advertising for his work.
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Bruce Jenner has the same waxy madame tussaud's look about him
Nail me to my car... then I'll tell you who you are...Joe The Lion
I'd rather wrap my face in silly putty and call it a day. It's cheaper and it can be undone.
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www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
Holy. Fucking. Shit.
This is why plastic surgery is so scary. Technically, he is smooth and wrinkle free, and I'm sure he is gorgeous at a distance. But up close, that is some Klaus Nomi-weird shit.
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DAFUQ am I lookin at?!?!?!?
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ALWAYS check the setting on the blowtorch!