Aretha Franklin Wants To Be A Judge On American Idol
After two bland seasons of Steven Tyler licking his inner tube lips at lady contestants and JLo covering up her true diva bitch ways by acting like she genuinely cares about other people, American Idol has the chance to get double slapped back to life by Aretha Franklin's knock 'em dead titty balls. Queen Aretha has made it publicly known that she's open to the producers of American Idol entering her throne room to bow at her hooves and formally offer her a judge's chair. Aretha says she is ready rest her chichis on the judge's table and sip from a cup full of Diet Coke Slurpee while turning bitches who can't sing into puddles of human gravy with her glare.
Aretha tells CNN that she wants to "play a vital role in choosing the next American Idol." Aretha is really threatening Fox with a good time, because she says she'll even bring along her friend Patti LaBelle.
YAAAAASSSSSSSSSSS!
This is exactly what American Idol needs. Yes to Aretha, yes to Patti and yes to Aretha completing the trifecta of magic by getting Dionne Warwick. If you sing off key in front of Aretha and Dionne, Aretha will scalp you just by waving you away and Dionne will give you a number, hussy. The number to the nearest temp agency since you obviously need to get a day job. But sadly, Fox isn't going to make this happen. I mean, Fox hire a judge that can actually sing? HA! We know those bitches too well.
let's be honest american idol just doesn't have enough room...she would take 2 chairs
Submitted by Whamo on Mon, 07/16/2012 - 10:08pm.
@ spider & Owl...ya, I'll have to say I'm not a big Glambert fan.. that's cool, each to their own he's just not my style that's all Lol but he would make a good judge though ;-)
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You're absolutely correct sir, he's definitely not everyone's cup of tea, to be sure. ;-)
He would be an excellent judge though, if he were allowed to speak his mind. He's funny, articulate, and having been performing since he was 10, so he knows whereof he speaks.
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"A tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing."
- Macbeth, William Shakespeare
No way they have enough cupcakes to pay her.
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"I am the Devil, and I'm here to do the Devil's work"
A chancla to the mouf to anyone speaking ill of mama retha and auntie patti! Show some R-E-S-P-E-C-T!
Haven't watched idol in years, probably bout 7 years and only voted one season for the ONE good thing to come out of this karaoke contest and that is Ms Kelly Clarkson!
Would probably watch with retha and or patti on board. Plus retha will come somewhat cheap, a couple mil a hat and drape couturier and endless supply of Popeyes deliciousness and she's on board!
The idea of Kelly Clarkson and Adam Lambert as judges plus a living legend a la Mariah isn't a bad one either.
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Someone by the bar keeps looking at us dancing. I see him starring at me, I see what he wants be
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>:- (
Mr. Mercury ♥
This show should just piss off already.
@ spider & Owl...ya, I'll have to say I'm not a big Glambert fan.. that's cool, each to their own he's just not my style that's all Lol but he would make a good judge though :)
Submitted by Whamo on Mon, 07/16/2012 - 7:34pm.
They should rotate past winners as the Judges. That might be a bit interesting, what do you guys think about that?
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Oooh I like that idea! I kind of hope Adam gets invited to judge. : D
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The poster formerly known as SnowOwl, formerly known as Nightowl!
Submitted by Whamo on Mon, 07/16/2012 - 8:48pm.
Spider....... You like Lambert do you?
He really seems to have mismanaged the huge popular wave he was riding at the time. I don't listen to the radio and certainly not a station he would be on but does he get a lot off airplay? I just don't heat too much about him and when I do it seems to be negative press.
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I love his voice and his persona. He's like Freddie Mercury (voice)/Ziggy Stardust (clothes/attitude). You know? His out-of-the-gate bad press was for being gay, kissing a guy in S&M garb on a televised awards show and his first album was too dance/pop because that's what he was contracted from AI to do. Yeah, I adore unapologetic, in your face, people with real talent. /smile
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"A tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing."
- Macbeth, William Shakespeare
Spider....... You like Lambert do you?
He really seems to have mismanaged the huge popular wave he was riding at the time. I don't listen to the radio and certainly not a station he would be on but does he get a lot off airplay? I just don't heat too much about him and when I do it seems to be negative press.
Submitted by Whamo on Mon, 07/16/2012 - 8:23pm.
@ Spider..that would be interesting but I think for rating one of the judges needs to be on the other end, someone that didn't go anywhere or were controversial like that Sanjaya dude! Lol!!
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Oh geez Whamo, Sanjaya and Heejun. You can't let a poor girl have a little Lambert fantasy can you? /sigh You're right though about the other end.
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"A tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing."
- Macbeth, William Shakespeare
@ Spider..that would be interesting but I think for rating one of the judges needs to be on the other end, someone that didn't go anywhere or were controversial like that Sanjaya dude! Lol!!
Submitted by Whamo on Mon, 07/16/2012 - 7:34pm.
"They should rotate past winners as the Judges. That might be a bit interesting, what do you guys think about that?"
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I could watch if they had not just winners, but actual success stories, giving good honest critique. Say...Adam Lambert, Carrie Underwood, Jennifer HUdson, Kelly Clarkson. People they wouldn't have to pay 20 mil to, to say 'that was beautiful baby' to every damn person.
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"A tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing."
- Macbeth, William Shakespeare
They should rotate past winners as the Judges. That might be a bit interesting, what do you guys think about that?
Oh I wish they would get Aretha with Nicole shwadiwady that shade would be anticipated daily.
At least Aretha and Dionne know something about singing.
RIP Bob Babbitt.
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God don't like ugly.
Get her on there! Now!
I agree with lisbet though, not gonna get me to ever watch this though.
Aretha Franklin? Are you kidding? As soon as "AI" turns into a shouting and screaming competition, she'll be an excellent judge and role model. Until then, no.
let's not ignore Joeb's nomination of Little Richard -- can't go wrong with lifelong craaaaaaaazy combined with senility for a bitch cutting "talent" show judge. i have never watched AI but will contact Direct TV for a dedicated DVR if Aretha gets anywhere near this shit. because in addition to cutting up the contestants you KNOW she is going to also throw shade at some of the weekly "mentors"
and, yep, would have been disappointed had you not tried to make it about her race, Doc.
"Voodoo is forgetting who's the john and who's the whore." MK, 3/20/12
well if AI is trying to cut its budget, then I can't see them hiring the Queen of All Queens - Aretha, 'cos you know she ain't gonna come cheap. but after ditching those last two overpaid fame whores, having Aretha in the house to cut Simon would be worth her chichi weight alone.
Aretha's outfit is giving me flashbacks to my grandmother's 1984 bedspread. Damn.
This sounds like something I'd watch. I saw some of last years episodes but I barely bothered with this years audition episode.
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The poster formerly known as SnowOwl formerly known as Nightowl!
Submitted by Iwannabedorothy... on Mon, 07/16/2012 - 4:16pm.
Aretha never leaves Detroit. How's she going to do that different city little-talent tour?
that's a good point. what, are they going to Skype her in? lame
Please hire Aretha! Aside from the insane hat collection, you just know she'd cut a bitch.
Meh, I still wouldn't watch again. I wish they would just put the show to rest. Plus, it would up the yelling in tune competition. Not my cup of tea.
I've never watched an episode of American, but if they got Aretha and Patty, I'd never miss a show. That would be worth every minute!
Submitted by annobanano on Mon, 07/16/2012 - 4:07pm.
@ bambam - I'll have to look Tony K up!
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Do that. He's a funny dude, intelligent, curmugdeonly as hell. It's technically a sportstalk show but he'll talk about anything, politics, tv, everyday things. He's based in DC so he'll talk about local stuff a lot but he gets email from listeners all over the world. I love/hate him like some old man; he'll say something utterly clueless or rant on something, sometimes hilarious or sometimes worthy of a shut the fuck up already. You can probably hear a show if you go to espn radio and look for a tony k show podcast.
Submitted by Lisbet459 on Mon, 07/16/2012 - 3:50pm.
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Tony Kornheiser is jewish, same as Streisand and he's a big cheerleader for talent of the same ethnicity. Nothing wrong with that, it's quite natural. But in a lot of cases when I listen to him and he doesn't show as much enthusiam for other talented artists, sometimes he's downright dismissive.
He's a moody, finicky guy. I dunno, I try to recognize talented people regardless and it bugs me when he's all "meh" to some artists yet praises an artist who's jewish like they're the greatest the world has known.
It's just my little issue, there's all kinds of talent, we should recognize it for it's own sake.
@ Irish
Check out July 14th thread on chicken cutlets for the long drawn out story on the name change. It is really so dumb.
It's a dog-eat-dog-world and it appears that this month I'm wearing Milk Bone underwear.
Anyhoo, glad you're back and I'll leave Whamo all to you!
Ciao and see yas later chica
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"Beat it or I'll Jackson Five across yo' eyes" - Black Dynamite
HELL YEA if aretha and labelle are on that shit show i'll tune in.
bow down to the queens bitches cause here comes real judging talent.
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♦ When all else fails, they call me.
♦ Life sucks. Shit Happens. I'm a student of t-shirts.
Submitted by IrishFury on Mon, 07/16/2012 - 4:15pm
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Geezuz Sybil don't freak me out like that! lol!
Me thinks you're going to be sore as hell tomorrow but good luck with your Evil Arch nemesis The Fuzzy Ball Sisters!!! dum dum dum dum!!!
Aretha never leaves Detroit. How's she going to do that different city little-talent tour?
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“The first thing I do in the morning is brush my teeth and sharpen my tongue.”
― Dorothy Parker
Submitted by Whamo on Mon, 07/16/2012 - 4:10pm.
Submitted by IrishFury on Mon, 07/16/2012 - 3:57pm.
Submitted by Whamo on Mon, 07/16/2012 - 3:42pm.
People were all excited when Diamond Dogs was going on Whamo
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huh????? What in the sweet name of what in the what what hell are... what are you talking about??
DD Kissing my ass??? WHAT?? LOL!!!
Nice to have you back???
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How am I supposed to know what I'm talking about?!
Laws, I just got a sitter for our match tonight. If we win, we will likely be the top flight for our division and win. But we;re playing Arch Enemy #1. And I haven't picked up a racquet in 3-4 weeks and am sofa king tired.
But I am in it to win it and will rule the day, my pretties!
DiamondDog, what's with the new name?! Again?!
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Dark-sided!
This show is done but at least Aretha can sing so that's a plus. Though I honesty don't see the point of keeping AI on the air.
Submitted by IrishFury on Mon, 07/16/2012 - 3:57pm.
Submitted by Whamo on Mon, 07/16/2012 - 3:42pm.
People were all excited when Diamond Dogs was going on Whamo
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huh????? What in the sweet name of what in the what what hell are... what are you talking about??
DD Kissing my ass??? WHAT?? LOL!!!
Nice to have you back???
@ bambam - I'll have to look Tony K up!
Submitted by DiamondDogs on Mon, 07/16/2012 - 3:44pm.
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Amen sister Nella AMEN,A!
@ Spider...lol yes my laptop is crashing on me. my R Y U 0 and @ are freezing up on me getting worse. When I type something and get to words using those letter I have to misspell then and then spell check them proper or sit and tap about 400 time to get the letter to appear. I just now plugged in a separate keyboard so I don't detonate my laptop against my office wall!
It HAS been on of those days:)
My work is just setting up a new laptop for me which is great but it's going to take me two weeks to get all my files and setting back in order and to be able to find what I want within a 2 hour period
i hate AI. that is all.
Hi Irish! Glad to see your back and well rested from your vacation.
*puckers up*
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"Beat it or I'll Jackson Five across yo' eyes" - Black Dynamite
Submitted by Whamo on Mon, 07/16/2012 - 3:42pm.
It doesn't matter who the DListed whore is, it's still a crappy assed DListed whore contest with the same lame ass whores turning a good woman into a sad one.
Do DListers really want to see this so they can pretend IrishFury cares or that she is actually going to make a fuss as to who ultimately wins ( AKA what DListed whores are forgotten once the cameras are off? )
People were all excited when Diamond Dogs was going on Whamo and what has she done when IrishFury was away? She's bent over and kissed the ass of Whamo and has done nothing any of the other pathetic DListed whores wouldn't have done. Fuck all these whores and Whamo for participating in them!!!!
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Cosign.
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Dark-sided!
For the health and safety of all concerned, they should give Queen Aretha what she wants. Plus it would be worth watching, which would be a first for AI.
Make it happen, bitches!
I love Aretha but it looks like she is wearing a bed-in-a-bag.
Submitted by blaase on Mon, 07/16/2012 - 3:31pm.
Fuck American idol, simon fuller can suck it!
Cowell but I hear you, whatevs. :D
Submitted by bambam on Mon, 07/16/2012 - 3:33pm.
Ever listen to Tony Kornheiser of PTI on ESPN and ESPN radio? He always roots for fellow "tribe mates"...I'm all for rooting for your own kind but please...
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Er, what?
Submitted by Whamo on Mon, 07/16/2012 - 3:42pm.
"Fuck all these shows and anyone that participates in them!!!!"
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Thank goodness. Someone else is cranky today too, I thought I was the only one with a serious case of Monday.
/waves hi and ducks
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"A tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing."
- Macbeth, William Shakespeare
I'd watch just to see what bra hating outfit she would wear on the show.
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He kinda reminds me of Ron Jeremy, but...not as classy! - Submitted by david Letterman
Besides, it's just marriage! Who in the hell takes that shit seriously? - Michael K
It's a paycheck. The question would be is she attractive enough for tv? Other than Randy Jackson, I ain't seen no fat judges on any reality show.
Submitted by Whamo on Mon, 07/16/2012 - 3:41pm.
It doesn't matter who the judge is, it's still a crappy assed karaoke contest with the same lame ass singers turning good tunes into lounge acts.
Do people really want to see this so they can pretend Aretha cares or that she is actually going to make a difference as to who ultimately wins ( AKA gets forgotten once the cameras are off? )
People were all exited when Howard Stern was going on AGT and what has he done? He's bent over and kissed the asses of the network and has done nothing any of the other pathetic judges would have done. Fuck all these shows and anyone that participates in them!!!!
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Can I get an amen? Preach it, brother Whamo, PREACH IT!
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"Beat it or I'll Jackson Five across yo' eyes" - Black Dynamite
I'm sure Aretha and Patti have such a good ear for those Countrified acts that the typical AI viewer slobbers over. It would be blacker than BET. The next Taylor Swift walks on stage, opens her mouth, "THANK-YOU BYE HONEY" from the judges.
Submitted by Whamo on Mon, 07/16/2012 - 3:42pm
As if Howard Stern needs even more money in his account.
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He kinda reminds me of Ron Jeremy, but...not as classy! - Submitted by david Letterman
Besides, it's just marriage! Who in the hell takes that shit seriously? - Michael K
With the exception of the first two season winners, has any of the other winners of AI had lasting musical sucess? Out of the whole 10 years I think only 3 have had real staying power.
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He kinda reminds me of Ron Jeremy, but...not as classy! - Submitted by david Letterman
Besides, it's just marriage! Who in the hell takes that shit seriously? - Michael K