PBS Is Prejudiced Against Adult Theater Fappers
It's the Pee-wee Herman mess all over again. We obviously haven't grown as a society since 1991, because it's still an issue when a more than grown ass man leaves his fap juices on the crusty velvet seat of an adult porn theater. After 72-year-old Fred Willard was arrested last night for trying to squeeze out some party leche while watching porn at the Tiki Theater in Hollywood, PBS rubbed him out of their show Market Warriors. Fred was the show's narrator, but not anymore. The NY Times' Arts Beat Blog says that PBS told local affiliates not to air any episodes of Market Warriors until they've replaced Fred's voice with Mark "Not Marky Mark" Walberg who hosts Antiques Roadshow.
What a bunch of assholes for firing a senior citizen for masturbating in a porn theater. PBS should meet ole' horny Fred at the Tiki Theater tonight, because they need to loosen the hell up by busting one out. This is a non-issue. Everybody faps! (That should be the adult follow-up to Everybody Poops.) PBS is really acting like Oscar the Grouch hasn't rolled his trash can over to the next town's Muppet-only adult theater to temporarily fap his grouchiness away.
And in other Fred freeing his willy news, his lawyer tells TMZ that he is completely innocent of the lewd conduct charge: "With all due respect to the individual officer, our belief is that Fred did nothing in any violation of any law."
With all due to respect to Fred Willard, we all know he was whacking off in that theater. But that's what an adult theater is for. It's for old dudes who are scared of the Internet and want to jack off old-school style. This is why there should be a free class at the Learning Annex on how to turn your personal laptop into a one-stop fap place. Fred's mind (and other parts) will be blow when he discovers Internet porn. Fred no longer has to run up to the projection room to tell the dude to speed up the film to the money shot, because he's got a Bunko game in 20 minutes.
The story is very strange and this picture of him is fucking hilarious.
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"The world is a pretty nice place if you're happy"
John Garfield
No one lives forever
Poor Fred. Doesnt he know about porn on the interwebs and fapping at home for free? No nosy cops around either.
And...don't even vice cops have something better to do? I mean, fuck, when I think of vice, I think of motorcycle gangs and guns and drugs, not some old fucker whacking it in a theater.
What a bunch of bull shit. PBS is on life support and this is the "Stand" they take? Weak.
Leave Fred Willard aloooooooooooone! The man's a treasure. Love him.
The radio said this morning that masturbating in a pubic place is not a crime in CA, unless it takes place within sight of someone who might be offended. In a porn theater, if you are offended by whacking off, you be in the wrong place, yo. So, why he was arrested and charged with anything is a mystery known only to LAPD. Not like he was in the street or at the Disney Store or something.
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Visit Anthony Higgins Performances on Facebook.
Funny how the world turns.We wake up to news that 14 dead in a movie theater in Colorado. Makes this news seem STUPID now.
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Brevity may be the soul of wit, but to twit without wit is soulless -- Johanne Savoie
Fuck! Some asshole opened fire during The Dark Knight Rises in Colorado and killed 14 people. Twenty-four injured.
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My obsessive fascination is in your imagination.
Submitted by Thamar on Fri, 07/20/2012 - 7:25am.
ESE! How the hell are ya. Lotta love coming atcha. :-)
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i'd be dandy doodle if i could get some sleep time about now, but other than that... yeah, i'm good...
*tosses love and smooches back atcha*
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"I could listen to a babbling brook,
and hear a song that I could understand.
I keep wishing it could be that way.
Because my world would be a Wonderland."
ESE! How the hell are ya. Lotta love coming atcha. :-)
There are quotas or cops have to have a certain amount of arrests or something. They know that a porn theater is a sure thing. Wrong place wrong time. Love him tho and feel bad for him
Submitted by joe shmoe on Fri, 07/20/2012 - 7:12am.
Was he on Love Boat?
*sucking on my Werther's Original*
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I think he was on twice. And I used to watch TLB when it was ON the telly.. not reruns.
YOU suck your Werthers.... I'll look forward to eating dinner at 4.
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I've found it to be a shame, when people are afraid of other people, and feel the NEED to hide behind screen names. When did fear become the new perfume?
Submitted by joe shmoe on Fri, 07/20/2012 - 7:12am.
Was he on Love Boat?
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sonofabiscuit!... he actually was!
via IMDB: The Love Boat (TV series)
Lou / Nil Logan / Richard Henderson
– The Art Lover/Couples/Made for Each Other (1986) … Nil Logan
– How Do I Love Thee?/No More Alimony/Authoress! Authoress! (1984) … Lou
– Maid for Each Other/Lost and Found/Then There Were Two (1981) … Richard Henderson
good memory, shmoe!
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"I could listen to a babbling brook,
and hear a song that I could understand.
I keep wishing it could be that way.
Because my world would be a Wonderland."
Last week PBS broadcast a documentary on a real pervert Woody Allen. Go figure. Why has Woody Allen never been arrested for a real crime...and misdemeanor?
Was he on Love Boat?
*sucking on my Werther's Original*
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now, i've been wondering... does one get at least a partial refund when one gets pinched by the popo in the middle of a skin flick?... hhmmm, more research must be done!
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"I could listen to a babbling brook,
and hear a song that I could understand.
I keep wishing it could be that way.
Because my world would be a Wonderland."
Submitted by beakers bitch on Fri, 07/20/2012 - 3:22am.
I can't go back and read all 152 comments, so I don't know what's been said about this yet. To those peeps saying he should get a computer and find internet porn, he tweets all the damn time. I've been following him and love him to death. I think he's pretty computer savvy, but what do I know. He even had Jim Gaffigan's back during "Cat-gate" a few night ago. This sucks! Love that guy.
__________________________________________________Well, he has no excuses now for having his wanger out! He needs to learn to stay home with his porn.
Most comics are lonely depressed people who deserve to rub one out. It's not like he was driving in a convertible fapping on santa monica blvd. LAPD has nothing better to do?
I can't go back and read all 152 comments, so I don't know what's been said about this yet. To those peeps saying he should get a computer and find internet porn, he tweets all the damn time. I've been following him and love him to death. I think he's pretty computer savvy, but what do I know. He even had Jim Gaffigan's back during "Cat-gate" a few night ago. This sucks! Love that guy.
Submitted by Secret Original on Thu, 07/19/2012 - 10:42pm.
Sure, let's replace him with a douchebag racist thug. Because stabbing a Vietnamese shopkeeper in the eye and permanently blinding him is more family-friendly than finding a moment of fucking relief in an adult theater.
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Yeah. Only PBS is replacing him with Mark L. Walberg, not Marky Mark Funky Bunch Wahlberg.
2 different people.
It's all written in MK's post above.
Submitted by C6 on Thu, 07/19/2012 - 11:19pm.
{{{{CSGGGGGGGGGGGG, damnit girl FINALLY we're on at the same damn time, lol}}}
Right when I'm headed to bed, lol of course, fk our lives. xo
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*sends tons of love and monkey spanks to Cappy to launch her into sweet slumber*
I haz the insomnia but am starting to feel tired now that I've read basically every celebrity gossip site on the interwebz.
Good night dlisters, sleep well (and please confine your wanking to your bedroom, attic, Scientology sauna or parent's basement). Remember, the police cannot be everywhere at once.
If you see something, say something.
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If it looks like a stunt, walks like a stunt and smells like warm piss on burnt plastic, it came directly from Pimp Mama Kris' pimpin' hand. - MK
This arrest is so out of proportion with the way we live now. Whose morality are they busting? A senior citizen and a funny one too. Ageism!!
Once I saw the structure of your site, opcom 2010 I was real careful research. gm tech 2 , But I was happy with the release. This is what I was looking for.MB Star C4
my new favorite MK post!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Submitted by loopygorilla on Fri, 07/20/2012 - 1:18am.
wow like lindsay lohan can run over a mother with her pram, bust up cars, steal shit and everything else and nothing happens.
and all he was doing was polishing the salami.
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THIS.
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Oh, when I try to love
I can save the same man in the same bed, in the same city
But not in the same room, it's a pity
wow like lindsay lohan can run over a mother with her pram, bust up cars, steal shit and everything else and nothing happens.
and all he was doing was polishing the salami.
WRONG! WTF do the cops think happens in XXX theaters? Yatzi? Go Fish? One goes into these theaters to beat off or physically express fondness for the person sitting next to them. Someone near and dear that was met 5 minutes earlier. Pee Wee got screwed by the penal system. Support Fred! He's a major talent and shouldn't be shamed by misuse of the corrupt police system.
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"That's what you said a week ago in Guadalajara." - Honey West
I don't give 2 shits who jerks it, where they jerk it, what to or how....I just can't fucking get over the fact that Fred Willard is 72! Maybe Ernest Borgnine was right, he lived to be 95 and said jerking off was his fountain of youth so to speak.
Fuck you to the cop who embrassed this 72 year old man's life. He didnt kill anyone! Go bust drug dealing pushers like Ray j .
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Brevity may be the soul of wit, but to twit without wit is soulless -- Johanne Savoie
Best in Show is still one of my all time favorite movies.
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Worrying is using your imagination
to create something you don’t want.
He got in trouble for doing shit men do every second of the day?
I keep hearing Peter Gabriel's "Shock the Monkey" in my head but its now "spank the monkey"! Damn it!
"go arrest alanis m blah blah blah"?
i'll have some of what you're having because shit makes no sense.
1)no matter that these porn houses are notorious as pud-pulling shacks, the fact of the matter is that it's illegal and he got caught (with his pants down).
2)-comparing one act or celebrity to/against/with another is silly and irrelevant.
3)-to say "b-b-but everyone else is doing, so why can't he do it?" burns your moral-outrage-at-lohan card-carrying privileges.
.... seriously. i love fred as much as the next but that doesn't mean i'm gonna lose my common fucking sense here ... fred (as lovable as is he) did a dumbass thing, an illegal thing and got caught.
no one is criminalizing jerking off so much as him pulling his pecker out in a public place/where it was illegal.
woods are notorious for pissing but, still, you get caught with the johnson watering the foliage -you get a charge. open and gross, public lewdness, blah blah blah -and that's without even being sexual.
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"The only thing necessary for evil to triumph is for good men to do nothing."
~Edmund Burke
http://youtu.be/p0mHxtpoq2c
*peddles off in a mint '88 yugo*
Poor Mojo_Jojo! That's profiling!
Oh cumon spanking his monkey is no reason to treat him like Juan Williams.
BEST HEADLINE EVAH!!!!!!!!!
So he wanted to buff the helmet...I guess he could have been more discreet.
shame on wgbh for firing a talented man for having a completely appropriate wank. call them on this 19th century sex negative nonsense. i know i'll never give em a nickel nor view anything produced by wgbh.
http://www.wgbh.org/about/contact.cfm
So he had a date with Palmela Handerson...so what. What are you supposed to do in a porn theater...play Yahtzee?
@Meatblocks,
Go arrest Alanis Morrissette before you take down Fred Willard.
It's far less obscene to fap in a theatre meant for fapping, than it is to give a public bj to the guy from Full House.
Submitted by RandéSleepover on Thu, 07/19/2012 - 10:13pm.
Submitted by agirl on Thu, 07/19/2012 - 9:09pm.
They should change "Masterpiece Theatre" to "Masturbate Theatre"
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Lol,
{{{{CSGGGGGGGGGGGG, damnit girl FINALLY we're on at the same damn time, lol}}}
Right when I'm headed to bed, lol of course, fk our lives. xo
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"Discussions about what is good, beautiful, noble, pure, true, could always go on. Why is that important? Because that is the only conversation worth having." C.Hitchens,1949-2011. (RIP MCA, "no sleep til Brooklyn") *caprica six was/is here*
Submitted by Meatblocks on Thu, 07/19/2012 - 11:08pm.
he pulled it out in a public place,
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Meats,
That's what we're saying - "The Rose" of wank places is public so why is he singled out for this shit. The library is public and people can spend 25mins out in the open firing up porntube but yet, nothing. *drunk and confused
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"Discussions about what is good, beautiful, noble, pure, true, could always go on. Why is that important? Because that is the only conversation worth having." C.Hitchens,1949-2011. (RIP MCA, "no sleep til Brooklyn") *caprica six was/is here*
Submitted by undinespragg on Thu, 07/19/2012 - 11:00pm.
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Yeh, I've never understood the gay = not to be trusted with children thing. I know the PeeWee masterbation thing happened in the early nineties, but still. Wasn't Paul/Peewee also arrested for having vintage erotica or something too more recently?
"This is why there should be a free class at the learning annex..."
MK you keep me in stitches. I luurve yeww. <3
www.poopreport.com :)
<3-------------------------------<3
RIMADYL KILLS
I'm more surprised these type of theatres still exist! I thought the Internet put them out of business.
Submitted by Dog on Thu, 07/19/2012 - 9:20pm.
So let me get this straight. The LAPD has cops who they pay to essentially patrol porn theaters looking for errant fappers?
Your tax dollars at work, folks. No wonder California is in the crapper. Or the fapper.
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Yep, sounds like 1/2 the CA budget goes to busting Pepaws popping one off in a porn mausoleum, with the other 1/2 going to support Octomom's plastic surgery and salon treatments.
Suddenly the state of Illinois doesn't seem as pathetic after all.
*waves nighty-night to fellow dlisters with one hand, while supporting Fred with the other*
___________________________
If it looks like a stunt, walks like a stunt and smells like warm piss on burnt plastic, it came directly from Pimp Mama Kris' pimpin' hand. - MK
i love the story, i love fred but i don't get the outrage.
buddy got busted yanking where he should not have.
"but blah blah blah everyone does it in a porn theatre blah blah blah" okay? -no dice. he pulled it out in a public place, took a risk and got caught now he pays the consequence.
-as said, again, not seeing the outrage.
.....................................................
"The only thing necessary for evil to triumph is for good men to do nothing."
~Edmund Burke
http://youtu.be/p0mHxtpoq2c
*peddles off in a mint '88 yugo*
Submitted by Gardening Girl on Thu, 07/19/2012 - 10:0
8pm.
Busting a skank for her attire incase she's hooking? Wha???
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I was pulled over for looking like a skank. I was bartending and running very late for work and my cell was dead. I saw a payphone in front of a row of ho-tels and called to let them know I was running late. Got in my car and 30 seconds later was getting pulled over. After being questioned the cop told me I was in a spot heavy with prostitution and the way I was dressed I looked suspicious. I saaid, "you pulled me over because you thought I was a ho?" He laughed and apologized.
Then I burned off my hands and ear thinking about all the DNA that was on that pay phone.
Submitted by Gardening Girl on Thu, 07/19/2012 - 10:0
8pm.
Busting a skank for her attire incase she's hooking? Wha???
**********************************
I was pulled over for looking like a skank. I was bartending and running very late for work and my cell was dead. I saw a payphone in front of a row of ho-tels and called to let them know I was running late. Got in my car and 30 seconds later was getting pulled over. After being questioned the cop told me I was in a spot heavy with prostitution and the way I was dressed I looked suspicious. I thought it was funny.
TEAM FAP AWAY THE WORLD WILL BE A BETTER PLACE
*the fks wrong w/ me? **finishes last glass; gnit/gmorning all; tomorrow's another day; xos and shit
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"Discussions about what is good, beautiful, noble, pure, true, could always go on. Why is that important? Because that is the only conversation worth having." C.Hitchens,1949-2011. (RIP MCA, "no sleep til Brooklyn") *caprica six was/is here*
Submitted by louise_brooks on Thu, 07/19/2012 - 10:11pm.
It wasn't a gay film. It was Nurse Nancy (why do I remember trivial shit like this?).
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Oh. Sorry. I think Hekki is right tho, there was not a lot of sympathy with him working in children's TV, etc., and then being gay. I guess I just assumed it was a gay theater because he is gay.
Now I am wondering why it wasn't a gay theater, but hey, I have a lot of lezzie friends who watch straight porn, so whatever floats your boat, I guess.