Monday, July 23rd 2012

In Case You Missed It, No Doubt On Last Night's Teen Choice Awards

The part of the chewed-up piece of steak fat called my heart that holds a special place for the 90s filled with tears earlier this month when Chumbawamba broke up with each other, but now that place can stop weeping thanks to No Doubt jumping into Bieber territory last night to perform the first single off their new album. "Settle Down" makes my ears curl and it sort of sounds like a ska song that was written by a bunch of tone-deaf Fraggles, but this mess of a song is still better than the shit put out by whores half their ages.

Speaking of whores half her age, Gwen Stefani looks better than most of them. The secret to eternal youth must be feeding the pores on your scalp with a steady serving of peroxide, because Gwen's 2012 face looks exactly like her 1995 face.

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notreallyworking's picture

I just wish hers tits were just a little bigger...

"I've had crabs. I've had lice. I've had the clap and that ain't nice. SO WHAT!?!?!?!"

"I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not so sure..."

"other than that Mrs. Lincoln, how was the play?"

FabulousDivaBuns's picture

This band sucks she sucks it all sucks. I love how someone said the verses are terrible but the chorus was pretty good. Great now maybe they can enter battle of the bands. I'm so tired of crap.

precociousmagpie's picture

What are these fossils doing on the Teen Choice show?? This is the equivalent of having Jerry Vale or Kate Smith performing at CBGB--who in that audience gives a rat's ass about this two-bit flash in the pan outfit? I'm reminded of a contest my junior high entered sponsored by Juicy Fruit gum, where the "grand prize", if you sent in the most wrappers, was a concert at your school by Paul Revere and the Raiders.

loopygorilla's picture

well Gwen gotta keep busy somehow when hubby is away to fuck dudes.

and singing musical gems like don't speak again will take her mind off gavin sucking on dicks till he hiccups.

AtomicCity's picture

Happy birthday, ME! It's always nice to feel appreciated, especially from your boss!

My birthday was this past Thursday, the 19th, and while I usually make a big deal of my birthday week, I couldn't have cared any less. Since I was in the hospital, my mother was away on business, the hubs had to work extra-late and my only presents consistedly of 2 units of blood, 1 unit of plasma and a "feast" of an all-liquid diet. In true diva form, I cried pretty much all day.
However, on a good note I opted to postpone my birthday until I got out and could celebrate with my loved ones AND CAKE. Of course I'm grateful for each birthday I encounter, but right now I'm equally stoked that I'll be 31 for a couple of more weeks :).

Regardless, I hope your day rocked!!!

Oh, and I LOVE Gwen Stefani. When I was in high school my Mom bought me a sewing machine and taught me how to make all sorts of plaid pants like hers.

liverwurst's picture

That kid needs his ass smacked end of story.

super-ette's picture

They were terrible/boring 16 years ago, still are...they are way too old now for this and need to retire

Twas Brillig's picture

When she was on the Rachel Zoe Project, she looked beautiful when she wasn't talking but as soon as she spoke it just looked wrong. Like all the stitches holding her face in place couldn't quite handle movement...... Pulling in odd places. Freaky!

I was the biggest fan of their music...and Gwen. But her head is SO FAR up her ass.

I bet she can't wait to tour...months of time with Tony!

And Gaviin will be banging, too. Just not Gwen.

***********************************************
Time cast a spell on you but
You won't forget me
I know I could have loved you but
You would not let me
-Fleetwood Mac

Few Words's picture

no doubt is soooo 90's

ima talkin' like a valley girl skank

yo stefani; put the international party girl look to sleep already. stoopid.

☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺
♦ When all else fails, they call me.
♦ Life sucks. Shit Happens. I'm a student of t-shirts.

Daniee's picture

I liked No Doubt (they weren't great, but alright!), but not the noise pollution that came after with Gwen's solo career and pushing perfume and everything else.

Gwen had a couple of nose jobs YEARS ago. Recently, all I can see is an obvious eyelift and some laser resurfacing. But who knows what else lies beneath her 6 layers of cake.

I also think it's pretty pathetic (maybe even 'Young Adult' uncomfortable) that she keeps trying to have some immature hold on her bandmate. I think dude has moved beyond his infatuation of you, Gwen. Think you can live with that?

I think the only No Doubt song I liked was "Ex-Girlfriend." I did like her remake of Risk Astley. I find her completely overrated but I do like looking at her -- flawless skin.

SANS FARDS's picture

Submitted by WinterOwl22 on Mon, 07/23/2012 - 5:26pm.
As much as I love Gwen, she isn't that great live. Not horrible, that distinction belongs to Florence Welch, Britney, and Katy Perry.
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I concur with Florence Welch sucking live. I was pretty disappointed.

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It's PHELPS time!

LaChaylo's picture

I loved her rocker chola look from her Tragic Kingdom days. I miss that Gwen, where she didn't taker herself so seriously.

crazyinjapan's picture

Submitted by Whamo on Mon, 07/23/2012 - 7:12pm.

Submitted by crazyinjapan on Mon, 07/23/2012 - 6:40pm.
Whamo on Mon, 07/23/2012 - 5:09pm.
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Isn't it just the saddest when you've found a singer/band/act that you thought you liked and then they just stink to high heaven when they are live? :(
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Yes, I just went to a Roger Waters concert a month ago and was SO disappointed, I swear he lip synched most of the show! I waited some 8 months from the I got the tickets, 2 other buddies went as well and we were so bummed out!
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Whamo, I feel you. I love Pink Floyd so much and have since I was a malcontent 4th grader singing "We don't need no thought control!" If I had been there and saw that tragedy, I might have even cried.

roxannequesti's picture

SHE

IS

FLAWLESS

SANS FARDS's picture

oh good, so glad I'm not the only person who didn't like No Doubt. I always thought they were pretty overrated. Nothing against Gwen Stefani though....she and Gavin have stayed out of the Hollyweird fuckery and so I can't hate.

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It's PHELPS time!

Whamo's picture

Submitted by crazyinjapan on Mon, 07/23/2012 - 6:40pm.
Whamo on Mon, 07/23/2012 - 5:09pm.
________________--

Isn't it just the saddest when you've found a singer/band/act that you thought you liked and then they just stink to high heaven when they are live? :(
-------------------------------------------------
Yes, I just went to a Roger Waters concert a month ago and was SO disappointed, I swear he lip synched most of the show! I waited some 8 months from the I got the tickets, 2 other buddies went as well and we were so bummed out!

char's picture

Still fug and talentless.
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I'm countin' on Jesus at this point.

babybunny's picture

yeah I am old, yeah I love Gwen and if you knew the history, this band survived death, lots of years of struggle until they finally made it on their good songs and Gwen's allure. She is hot, always has been and seems like she always will be, give me her quirky real voice any day over the autotuned monsters they are cranking out today, Gwennie will put Madge to shame when she hits Madge's age....she is genuine and so damn sexy...and I think talented so there. Yes I was born in the 60's and followed them for years...fuck all those youngsters...

crazyinjapan's picture

Whamo on Mon, 07/23/2012 - 5:09pm.

I have no problems with Gwen, think she's cute but I caught this last night and...she sounded BRUTAL, tone deaf yelling IMO she was all over the place and couldn't hit an honest note the whole song.
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Isn't it just the saddest when you've found a singer/band/act that you thought you liked and then they just stink to high heaven when they are live? :(

unemployed_bum's picture

Submitted by IrishFury on Mon, 07/23/2012 - 4:07pm.
I know this isn't a popular thought but I hate her baby voice and false vibrato snd she's been wearing the same clothes, hair and make up since 1994.
And the song sucks.
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I really agree with this! While I love me some nostalgia, especially when it comes to music, No Doubt just never really did it for me. As a teen I used to laugh at the ska-heads complaining about everything and worrying about being "down with the struggle". But that's just my opinion and I accept that a lot of people laugh at me for being willing to do A LOT of things to get my hands on Bob Seger or Fleetwood Mac tickets(those old farts never go out of style to me). And I did buy some of Gwen's Harajuku Lovers clothes like 6 years ago, but that semi-teenie bopper style looked okay on me because I was still about 21. It looks rediculous on a 41 year-old(hint, Gwen). If No Doubt wanted to reunite like 10 years from now and just for the sake of music and not acting like it is still 1996, I would have a lot more respect. There is a big difference between celebrating/remembering a good thing of years past and just desperately trying to hold on to youth.

*I'm ashamed of what I did for a Klondike Bar*

Haribo's picture

Submitted by rotten_egg on Mon, 07/23/2012 - 6:19pm.

i totally agree about the face but her bod still looks good.

'We are responsible for what we do unless we are celebrities.'

literarylioness's picture

How long has Gwen been broken-up from her band mate? Can't she write a song NOT about him? The woman is married with kids now. Geez.

I think she's had a bit of work done and an eating disorder.

rotten_egg's picture

Never liked No Doubt, never liked Gwen Stefani nor her "pre Lady CaCa" fashion fail, so I don't give a shit if they reunite or break up.

Her face is as frozen as a Super Pop. She should quit freezing her face since we all know how the face of a 40-something looks like.

**************
-"I am not about to deal with unstable people" - HEART ANGELINA.

Whamo's picture

Submitted by WinterOwl22 on Mon, 07/23/2012 - 5:53pm.
Whamo, you know what I mean!
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Lol, ya just thought I'd throw you a lame ass joke OWL:P :D

Whamo's picture

ME, I've been out of the office today so I just saw now it's your Bday so HAPPY BDAY you hot piece you, all the best and I hope you get laid!:P

Shaaaaaawing:)

Haribo's picture

happy bd, M.E!

'We are responsible for what we do unless we are celebrities.'

WinterOwl22's picture

Whamo, you know what I mean! : P The way Katy Perry, Gaga, and Nikki Minaj dress comes to mind. : )

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The poster formerly known as SnowOwl, formerly known as Nightowl!

PrettyHateMachine's picture

Submitted by M.E. on Mon, 07/23/2012 - 4:19pm

Happy Birthday! I hope you enjoy the rest of your day!

Whamo's picture

Submitted by WinterOwl22 on Mon, 07/23/2012 - 5:11pm.

I'm tired of people wearing dresses made out of plastic candies or whatever.
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Sooo... any clothing that is edible is in bad taste! :) lol!

fredfred's picture

"hey, i have a great idea on how to turn cloying reggae into something more annoying. we'll call it ska!"
"well, i have an idea to make ska into an unlistenable shit-pop pile while ripping blondie's grating talentless girl formula. we'll call it 'no doubt.'"

and gwen has had some work done.

and she need to stop dressing like a fucking tween.

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watching hardcore ufos

DianaDeath's picture

You had me until "Blondie's grating. Talentless girl formula". Debbie Harry, talentless? Really??

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"If French is the language of love, then Spanish is the language of badassery!" -MK

Thamar's picture

ME HB girl
May the mirror on your wall keep you dishing the real dirt
You rock
'pours a round of ME 's favorite fizzy'

Submitted by parissucksliterally on Mon, 07/23/2012 - 5:13pm.
Not fun enough for me to stop listening to Fiona Apple though.
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I love Fiona. Was listening to her today. Now that is a girl that can sing!
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"I don’t have pet peeves — I have major psychotic fucking hatreds!" George Carlin

WinterOwl22's picture

As much as I love Gwen, she isn't that great live. Not horrible, that distinction belongs to Florence Welch, Britney, and Katy Perry.

I went to her Harajuku Lovers tour (in Anaheim and it was recorded for a DVD!) and I thought she sounded pretty good. Must be easier to sing those type of songs though.

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The poster formerly known as SnowOwl, formerly known as Nightowl!

Haribo's picture

i don't like the song and how she sang here but yeah, she does look great!

'We are responsible for what we do unless we are celebrities.'

Britneys cheap ass wig's picture

No Doubt was the first cd I bought when I was 11-12 been bumping their music for around 15 years. Did my hair bright pink during the Return of Saturn era good times!!!

parissucksliterally's picture

I love Gwen, and the song is fun. Not fun enough for me to stop listening to Fiona Apple though.

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And I kept touching my neck
To guide your eyes where I wanted you to kiss me
When we find some time alone

MadgesVadge's picture

Submitted by britmachine on Mon, 07/23/2012 - 4:20pm.
You know half the audience was BORN in '96 so they were probably thinking "Who dis bitch?"
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Just realized that and made the same face as your avi.

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"I have a very poor way of concealing my dislike of people and/or things." -- Evil_Cupcake's Mom

WinterOwl22's picture

It's refreshing to see a female singer dressed so casually for a performance. I'm tired of people wearing dresses made out of plastic candies or whatever.

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The poster formerly known as SnowOwl, formerly known as Nightowl!

Whamo's picture

I have no problems with Gwen, think she's cute but I caught this last night and...she sounded BRUTAL, tone deaf yelling IMO she was all over the place and couldn't hit an honest note the whole song.

WithinReason...'s picture

Lucy, her rocker image rules! so true

•-•-•-•-•-•
"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
░░░░♬♣☺♪◘☼♥♫•ღ♩♦≈❀♠░░░░

Janice Second's picture

This band should be sponsored by Quick Blue hair bleach.

Cookie_Monster_'s picture

OMG from reading all these glowing kiss ass reviews I would've thought Gwen looked great. She looks terrible! Too skinny and her face pulled tight.

No wonder these celeb aging women all botox to hell and starve themselves...you guys gushing how wonderful she looks will only make her wreck her looks even more.

Good god, what happened to a woman aging in a natural way? Now we see 50 year olds trying to dress like tweeners.

The suck song is hell too, but Gwen's always had a weak voice.

WinterOwl22's picture

Gigaboob, this was the way she dressed before she went solo. : )

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The poster formerly known as SnowOwl, formerly known as Nightowl!

CuriouserAndCuriouser's picture

For someone who can't sing at all, she's had quite a career. Can't hate too much on her.