Richard Simmons Serving You Dementia-Stricken Drag Queen As Poison Ivy

I LURVE this crazy old lady. Richard Simmons looks like the time Nana got cast as sultry villainess Poison Ivy in the home's production of Batman & Robin. Mother Nature and Uma Thurman can punch out early, because Richard Simmons' Poison Ivy poses are burning Beverly Hills to the GROUND. He even accessorized with butterflies like a true woodland diva does it.

Auntie Richie blends so well into those bushes with his costume camoflauge magic. Imagine you're going down to the shrubs to get a blowie (old gays still do this - we call them cock zombies), and THAT pops out at you with a "HEELLLOOOO BATMAN!" and offering to pull down his tights? Scared straight!

And he has so many faces and emotions. He's giving you "Am I at the right bus stop?" "Ooh, is that the Gallagher's new poolboy?" "Thinking about the nighttime." and "A locked ward don't mean SHIT to POISON IVY." Never change, Richard.

Check out more pics of the utterly flawless Richard Simmons and his green finery.

Posted by: J. Harvey

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Submitted by stinkbutt on Sun, 08/12/2012 - 9:07pm.

Submitted by soulks on Sun, 08/12/2012 - 10:16am.

"Submitted by stinkbutt on Sun, 08/12/2012 - 2:37am."

your Mom was right,his workouts work and his books are great; he's a genius.

http://www.richardsimmons.com/j15/index.php

**********************

I gotta show my mom his website, she's gonna love it. I asked her how much weight she lost with his workouts, and she said 60 lbs. She also said that by watching his show she learned what was triggering her unhealthy eating habits. RS has the gift of being able to connect with people in their most vulnerable moments. Not many grown human beings can do that.

Submitted by WithinReason... on Sun, 08/12/2012 - 5:51pm.

Hey Who Cares kitty cat, if you haven't grown up by 64, you might as well give up and go with it, right?! Rich will be happy as he is! He'd say, enjoy what time you have left, no? hahahahah

•-•-•-•-•-•
"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
░░░░♬♣☺♪◘☼♥♫•ღ♩♦≈❀♠░░░░

Submitted by RandomNYGirl on Sun, 08/12/2012 - 5:44pm.

Hating Richard Simmons is like saying you hate your Grandma

Submitted by WithinReason... on Sun, 08/12/2012 - 5:40pm.

ESE @ 3:17am., yes, Richard has been doing the same schtick for years, he is good people! ITA! <3

•-•-•-•-•-•
"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
░░░░♬♣☺♪◘☼♥♫•ღ♩♦≈❀♠░░░░

Submitted by snowpiece on Sun, 08/12/2012 - 5:32pm.

wow! who knew Richard Simmons brought out such strong feelings in people! :O

**************************
"Shut up, brain!" I replied. "You're not the boss of me! Come on, vagina! Let's get out of here, away from the party pooper trying to ruin our fun."

Submitted by Who Cares on Sun, 08/12/2012 - 5:27pm.

Get Serious

My comment is clear and he seriously needs to grow up, and if you don't like my opinion. GO FUCK YOURSELF.

Submitted by Who Cares on Sun, 08/12/2012 - 5:25pm.

vsminimoose

GO FUCK YOURSELF

Submitted by almostfamous88 on Sun, 08/12/2012 - 2:10pm.

Little Dick is such a ray of sunshine

Submitted by literarylioness on Sun, 08/12/2012 - 12:28pm.

I LOVE hummingbirds! They are so cool! I got a hummingbird feeder just for them. I also have blue conches and this birds that look like a cross between robins and blue birds.

Submitted by islandgirl on Sun, 08/12/2012 - 12:27pm.

honeychile, in my opinion, the word 'guffaw' is not used nearly enough these days. That and tomfoolery. :))

Submitted by LaChaylo on Sun, 08/12/2012 - 12:26pm.

I'm loving these RS stories. He's silly, he truly connects with people, and for all the fat hate going around he genuinely wants to help people lose weight without the use of self-loathing as encouragement.

He's a treasure.

Submitted by honeychile on Sun, 08/12/2012 - 12:22pm.

I guffaw at people who throw around the word "disgusting" at every turn.. its a fucking costume get the fuck over it, bitch!

Submitted by can be a pushy broad on Sun, 08/12/2012 - 12:19pm.

A truly sincere man that has helped countless of obese people physically and emotionally.
I love him! and hope he lives to be 100!

Submitted by Hekki on Sun, 08/12/2012 - 10:22am.

Richard is like Paul Lynde or Liberace. They don't have to be out. "Is he gay'?" is a rhetorical question. And it would be rude to ask such a sweet man a point blank question like that. So we just rest assured in our knowledge that he is a gay man.

ETA: Howard Stern used to be so brutal to him. But I think Richard liked being teased.

Submitted by Get Serious on Sun, 08/12/2012 - 11:58am.

Submitted by Who Cares on Sun, 08/12/2012 - 2:44am.
No matter how cute some of you may think he is, well it is just beyond disgusting! Such a mental illness! The guy needs to grow the fuck up.
--------------------------------------------

You do know that his dressing up & acting flamboyant is his schtick, right? He's attention whoring, but in a benign way. If you feel a need to be "outraged" at someone, you may want to direct your attention to kim whoretrashian or lindsay blowhan; they're the ones with the mental illnesses...

--------------------------------------------
"Dammit, Pam, I've seen that, and now I can't unsee it. There's not enough liquor or therapy in the world to help me forget that..." - Archer

Submitted by Aquarianne on Sun, 08/12/2012 - 10:04am.

I believe Richard Simmons has been smoking his weed clothing.

~~~~~~~*******~~~~~~~*******~~~~~~~*******
“Sometimes the questions are complicated and the answers are simple.”
― Dr. Seuss

Submitted by honeychile on Sun, 08/12/2012 - 9:49am.

YAAASSS Auntie Dick! You better wear that Garden of Eden ensemble bitch! WERKKK! TRABAJOOO!!

Submitted by Dr. Dick on Sun, 08/12/2012 - 9:22am.

Submitted by ImpertinentVixen on Sun, 08/12/2012 - 9:30am.
I think RS is the nicest, nicest, most genuine man who really has others' best interests at heart and is a sweetie and I don't care what he wears.

Submitted by bambam on Sun, 08/12/2012 - 2:12am.
I'd never seen a real goldfinch in my life until a few years ago. I saw one and thought somebody lost their parakeet or something. Since then I've paid more attention to the birds in my area.

I've spotted a few woodpeckers, hawks, red breasted sparrows, I even spotted a hummingbird, thinking at first it was an insect.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I got all excited thinking I saw a hummingbird once too and it turned out to BE an insect, a hummingbird moth:

-------------------------

I am also a nerdy bird lover. I bought golden finch seed for the first time this year and now I have these darling little creatures dining at my feeder. My hummingbirds left for several weeks during the extreme heat but now are back. Love those little guys! OT--Richard Simmons is the bomb. He IS eccentric but he has such a good heart that he gets a pass for whatever fuckery he wears.

Submitted by vsminimoose on Sun, 08/12/2012 - 9:05am.

Submitted by EveryStrangersEyes on Sun, 08/12/2012 - 3:17am.
Submitted by Who Cares on Sun, 08/12/2012 - 2:44am.
The guy needs to grow the fuck up
--------------------------------------

not to be a pest, or be argumentative whatsoever, but... uummm... why should he?... the guy seems pretty happy. he isn't hurting anybody, as far as i know of. he does a lot for helping folks. he doesn't take himself too seriously... where's the harm?

so what if he's eccentric(that's because he's rich, otherwise he'd be crazy)as the day is long?
--------------------------------
Who Cares obviously has a major fear of whatever Richard Simmons is. Otherwise he wouldn't care so much. I'm guessing he's either a homophobe or someone who hates the fact that he doesn't have the courage to either quit his horrible job that makes him a dead-end prick or is stuck in a relationship from hell that makes him a boring zombie.
Who Cares....stop being such a grouch and giving a shit about what RS does. The only reason he bothers you is because you blame him and people like him for the stick up your ass that you're afraid to remove.

Submitted by soulks on Sun, 08/12/2012 - 8:46am.

"Submitted by stinkbutt on Sun, 08/12/2012 - 2:37am."

your Mom was right,his workouts work and his books are great; he's a genius.

http://www.richardsimmons.com/j15/index.php

`````````^..+`````````
"I got two miles till he makes bail
And if I'm right we're headed straight for hell"- Gunpowder and Lead

ty- *iconzicons*

Submitted by ImpertinentVixen on Sun, 08/12/2012 - 8:00am.

I think RS is the nicest, nicest, most genuine man who really has others' best interests at heart and is a sweetie and I don't care what he wears.

I've spotted a few woodpeckers, hawks, red breasted sparrows, I even spotted a hummingbird, thinking at first it was an insect.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I got all excited thinking I saw a hummingbird once too and it turned out to BE an insect, a hummingbird moth:

http://visitwimberley.com/critters/hummingbirdMoth.shtml

I love watching my backyard birds, I have cardinals, house finches, yellow finches, sparrows, woodpeckers, and a bird I cant identify who comes to my yard.

*adjusts nerd binoculars*

·...¸><((((º>·´¯`·. ¸.><((((º> .·´¯`·..·><((((º>
Visit The Freckle on Lindsay Lohan's Lip on Facebook.

Submitted by chippychazoo on Sun, 08/12/2012 - 7:17am.

" by Who Cares on Sun, 08/12/2012 - 2:44am.
No matter how cute some of you may think he is, well it is just beyond disgusting! Such a mental illness! The guy needs to grow the fuck up."

I didn't know mental illness could be cured by 'growing the fuck up', useful information here for the world of psychiatric medicine.

Submitted by Lope on Sun, 08/12/2012 - 2:02am.

Love love love him. I remember years and years ago when he had his talk show and he'd try to help women with their problems. It wasn't the freak show that later talk shows were- it was just women reaching out to him with their everyday problems with communications and weight. You could tell that he cared so much about them and really wanted to help. In later year he was advocating for morbidly obese people, both encouraging compassion for them and trying to help them lose weight. Kids may call him the "Sweating to the Oldies" guy now, but that's certainly not all that he's ever done. Did he ever come out?

Submitted by EveryStrangersEyes on Sun, 08/12/2012 - 1:47am.

Submitted by Who Cares on Sun, 08/12/2012 - 2:44am.
The guy needs to grow the fuck up
--------------------------------------

so what if he's eccentric(that's because he's rich, otherwise he'd be crazy)as the day is long?

-----------------------------
"I could listen to a babbling brook,
and hear a song that I could understand.
I keep wishing it could be that way.
Because my world would be a Wonderland."

Submitted by MickeyHolland on Sun, 08/12/2012 - 1:17am.

Sometimes nature isn't all it's cracked up to be.

-------------------------------------------------------

Who are you calling silly cow?

Submitted by Who Cares on Sun, 08/12/2012 - 1:14am.

No matter how cute some of you may think he is, well it is just beyond disgusting! Such a mental illness! The guy needs to grow the fuck up.

Submitted by stinkbutt on Sun, 08/12/2012 - 1:07am.

I don't care how craZiE he looks, I LOVE HIM!! I remember my mom doing her 'Richard Simmons' exercise/workouts in our living room with her leg warmers...hehe

Submitted by boredasfuckyo on Sun, 08/12/2012 - 12:56am.

He's like a less bitchy bloated version of Elton John. Love Richard!
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~**~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
"What if all you understand could fit into the center of a hand? And then you found it wasn't you, who held the sum of everything you knew?"

Submitted by Wanted on Sun, 08/12/2012 - 12:48am.

I wish he would ditch those trainers for a second and dazzzzzle us in lucite

|.....|.....|.....|.....|.....|.....|.....|.....|.....|.....|.....|.....|.....|.....|

"Let them measure my anus and see if it is dilated."
- Andrés García Torres, inventor of the Catholic Anus Ruler

Submitted by bambam on Sun, 08/12/2012 - 12:42am.

Submitted by BaconSlut on Sun, 08/12/2012 - 12:29am.

Hey, hey, hey. Wait a goddamn minute. I haven't seen Bob and Larry, (my neighborhood gay goldfinch birds) in a couple of days. Is Richard pimpin' in Minnysoda? *raising left eyebrow and readying 11 wide, Mama Jefferson-style*
-------------------------------------------

I'd never seen a real goldfinch in my life until a few years ago. I saw one and thought somebody lost their parakeet or something. Since then I've paid more attention to the birds in my area.

I've spotted a few woodpeckers, hawks, red breasted sparrows, I even spotted a hummingbird, thinking at first it was an insect.

***************
Gals are "just friends." Guys are "just waitin."

Submitted by YourClothesAreDead on Sun, 08/12/2012 - 12:18am.

I kind of imagine Richard Simmons was a slutty Southern Belle à la Blanche in his previous life, and in this life he's decided to persue a more asexual lifestyle.

Submitted by Zonko on Sat, 08/11/2012 - 11:27pm.

Bitch is 64 fucking years old !!!

Submitted by turnelbup on Sat, 08/11/2012 - 11:02pm.

Why is Richard so icky skinny now? High big thigh and leg muscles are gone and his face is gaunt. It's not just age. Is he starving himself again???
*************
"When in doubt, freak 'em out" -- Sharon Needles

Submitted by BaconSlut on Sat, 08/11/2012 - 10:59pm.

***********************************************

Submitted by Vern on Sat, 08/11/2012 - 9:59pm.

XOXOXOX Richard.

BUT!!!!!!!!!!

Where the fuck is SweeeeeeeeeeeeeeetASS??????

*chanting as always*

Shut the fuck up kid, you're in my closet now.

Submitted by BaconSlut on Sat, 08/11/2012 - 9:56pm.

Love the man. And I have those exact tennie runners. JEAH! :D

Submitted by Dion flowerboy on Sat, 08/11/2012 - 9:33pm.

His jewfro could use a little attention, but no way can I hate. He means well and is silly and fun. He's from Nawlins so I'm not surprised a Dlister spotted him.

Submitted by Night Owl on Sat, 08/11/2012 - 9:29pm.

I remember when he was so popular he had a part on General Hospital back when it was the soap to watch.

Submitted by C6 on Sat, 08/11/2012 - 8:51pm.

Submitted by kokoskitten on Sat, 08/11/2012 - 10:15pm.

Richard Simmons calls a redneck is the absolute best Howard Stern prank phone call thing...I love the Richard/Howard dynamic they have going on.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xCK-R7ufw7s
_______

"I don't like this new attitude of yours....I just want y.o.u. to be my m.o.m....My name is Cheryl, and I'm your daughter...What's wrong...what's wrong?....No....Yes....No....Yes...Is this Diane?..." LMFATFOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooooooo

Fk, headed to bed and had to revisit Angel Simms' thread and watched your clip. Oh damn. thx

____
“When I ask how old your toddler is, I don't need to hear '27 months.' He's two. He's not a cheese. And I didn't really care in the first place.” -George Carlin (RIP MCA and C.Hitchens) *caprica six was/is here*

Submitted by kokoskitten on Sat, 08/11/2012 - 8:45pm.

Richard Simmons calls a redneck is the absolute best Howard Stern prank phone call thing...I love the Richard/Howard dynamic they have going on.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xCK-R7ufw7s

Submitted by Madam Pince on Sat, 08/11/2012 - 8:38pm.

He's absolutely crazy and I love him for all the love and nonjudgmental help he gives overweight people. Fly your freak flag high & proud, Richard!

**************************************************

"Being a fucking idiot is a valuable commodity in this culture because you're rewarded significantly." ~~ Jon Hamm

Submitted by Puppy Love on Sat, 08/11/2012 - 8:21pm.

He seems like a sincere and good person. Nutty but sweet.

Submitted by vsminimoose on Sat, 08/11/2012 - 8:19pm.

DEAL-A-MEAL 4 Ever!

Submitted by misslainey on Sat, 08/11/2012 - 8:18pm.

Submitted by vsminimoose on Sat, 08/11/2012 - 9:47pm.

Aww, what a sweetheart!