Monday, August 13th 2012

Twihards Holding MoMA Under Siege

I'm only human. When I'm in a big city and see whores lined up or camped out, I have to ask someone why in case they're handing out free shit. I'm wondering - would I be able to keep from rolling my eyes in this case? I'd ask what was what to a round and sweaty woman in a t-shirt that reads "THAT CUNT" over a doctored photo depicting Kristen Stewart with nose leprosy, and she would tell me she was camping out for Robert Pattinson. My hands would have to be firmly holding my eyeballs in their sockets against their will. LET US ROLL, MUTHAFUCKA!

Sad Vampire is appearing at the MoMA tonight for a screening of his flick "Cosmopolis", and Page Six sez that Twihards have been setting up a tent town to await him. A tent town that smells of fanaticism, premature panty pudding, and bootleg Immortal Twilight (the bottle reads "Old It's Dark Out"). It's his first appearance since love died.

MoMA officials aren't enthused about desperate crazies from the suburbs frantically waving glitter-sprinkled signs reading "I'D NEVER LET ANOTHER VAMPIRE EAT ME OUT IN THE FRONT SEAT OF A MINI-COOPER IF I WAS YOUR GIRLFRIEND,EDWARD!" in front of their fine museum. Word is they might have their security people shovel the sidewalk out front.

They probably should. What if Pattinson shows up with his refuge owner Reese Witherspoon? It only takes one Twihard mom to scream "GET HER" and then the barricades will be a faint memory and suddenly there's bloody pieces of Tracy Flick everywhere.

Posted by: J. Harvey

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Lol, snowpiece re your back-at-you description of us dlisters to yaboo (and the spamming loopygorilla). I have seen RP in interviews and he seems smart, wickedly funny (sorry louise but I don't think he'll be gently sobbing and avoiding eye contact with you any time soon), humble, grateful, genuine, and beautiful, too. I don't know why so many of you judge him by his fans, especially when some of the men Michael posts who get the most fap reaction from both males and females on this site obviously spend 12 hours a day in front of a mirror and probably need one to look into in order to cum when screwing whatever thing it is that makes them feel like the center of the universe for those 5 seconds. I guess RP awakened something in those fans that they thought they could only find at the bottom of a gallon of ice cream. Apparently the men in their lives couldn't get the job done.

And Whamo, I remember you meekly posting that you would "do" Kristen Stewart. Well, she is beautiful too and there is nothing to feel ashamed of. I believe Jack also said he thought she was a little on the hot side. Good for him.

Thamar's picture

Way late on this thread but here goes....

Saw Water for Elephants the other night. Hubs brought it home from library. Still proudly using a DVD VCR player over here tyvm.

Camera loves Pattison. The structure of his face provides marvelous shadows with the low lighting of the circus world.

Being conventionally good looking is not for an actor in my view. Pattison does not fit classical definitions of beauty which rely on rules for balance and symmetry. His looks are unique. I found his acting very sympathetic in the film. Love scenes with mega watt Witherspoon were very believable.

I really hope Robert moves quickly beyond his vampire stage and the company he used to keep.

Can we all please be done with vampires for a while? Storyline just ain't that interesting.

loopygorilla's picture

rpattz is sooo fucking ugly i wouldnt fuck him with ryan seacrest's dick.

WTFOMGLOL's picture

that face. he looks like the paps caught him mid-fart.

wait. can vampires fart ?

do they fart sparkly glitter?

I'm confused.

**Spammed

Mani6's picture

Can I just say that KBlew really needed to get out of this relationship for a couple of reasons. Some will argue that she CHEATED, but really she was interested in actually having a good time! Look at him! Just reading about this makes me want to off myself!

Let's face it...that fake, forced pairing was doomed to fail anyway. She's better off getting away from all of this Twihard nonsense.

Don't worry! You don't need to respond.

joanne's picture

lol@sad vampire.

WTFOMGLOL's picture

Submitted by snowpiece on Mon, 08/13/2012 - 2:55pm.

OK so just for y'all I just went to check out the Twihards! YES, they are really there and OH
MY
GOD
there is not one less that 400 pounds among them!!!!! POOR ROB!!!! and they all had HUGE Edward Cullen pins on!!!!! LOL I was trying to make a movie for you guys and they got all uppity, "WHO IS SHE!?!?' I felt like I was about to get stampeded by the herd so I ran away!
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We can haz photos at least, please ??? :O

snowpiece's picture

Museum of Modern Art, on 53 Street between 5th and Madison, NYC

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"Shut up, brain!" I replied. "You're not the boss of me! Come on, vagina! Let's get out of here, away from the party pooper trying to ruin our fun."

soulks's picture

oh poor sad sad Rob,trying a new 'do for KStew?
he's Woody:

"Allan: That's quite a lovely Jackson Pollock, isn't it?
Museum Girl: Yes, it is.
Allan: What does it say to you?
Museum Girl: It restates the negativeness of the universe. The hideous lonely emptiness of existence. Nothingness. The predicament of Man forced to live in a barren, Godless eternity like a tiny flame flickering in an immense void with nothing but waste, horror and degradation, forming a useless bleak straitjacket in a black absurd cosmos.
Allan: What are you doing Saturday night?
Museum Girl: Committing suicide.
Allan: What about Friday night? "

;>

`````````^..+`````````
"I got two miles till he makes bail
And if I'm right we're headed straight for hell"- Gunpowder and Lead

ty- *iconzicons*

Edna -E- Mode's picture

J Harvey
you didn't spell out info about MoMA

Museum of Modern Art?
nyc?
where?

no i am not going i am just curious :)

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"I (almost) never look back, darling. It distracts from The Now."
= Edna 'E' Mode

DianaDeath's picture

That FUG mug makes me drier than the Serengeti plains. How he produces even one drop of panty pudding boggles my mind.

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"If French is the language of love, then Spanish is the language of badassery!" -MK

Daniee's picture

Hahahaha!! Picked a great pic there MK. The look on his face says it all.
I don't think youngins who are into Twicrap will appreciate this film at all....maybe he'll get to shake some of these sticky turd nuggets off. I've heard he is terrific in his role.

But.Seriously.Folks's picture

I'm gonna recuse myself from this post even though I think this whole story is fake, fake, fake.

I will say I work with a 40 something Twitard and strange ain't even the word to describe her. Oh and she's made it clear she's Team Edward. Whateva bitch!

jack-n-the-hat's picture

LOLOL!!!! snowy, you have to approach those type with "GOOD MORROW!!!"
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rly1ZZ076G8&feature=related ~ Kenny Powers

snowpiece's picture

OK so just for y'all I just went to check out the Twihards! YES, they are really there and OH
MY
GOD
there is not one less that 400 pounds among them!!!!! POOR ROB!!!! and they all had HUGE Edward Cullen pins on!!!!! LOL I was trying to make a movie for you guys and they got all uppity, "WHO IS SHE!?!?' I felt like I was about to get stampeded by the herd so I ran away!

**************************
"Shut up, brain!" I replied. "You're not the boss of me! Come on, vagina! Let's get out of here, away from the party pooper trying to ruin our fun."

jack-n-the-hat's picture

Submitted by ISprainedMyUvula on Mon, 08/13/2012 - 2:06pm.

lolollll I knew you would get it... ♥
_____________________________________________
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rly1ZZ076G8&feature=related ~ Kenny Powers

Nitey, Loopy! *grabs your ass on your way out*

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Gardening Girl's picture

Nite Loopy. Sweet pervy dreams

"Let them all boil in their own hotdog juice." Deb 7/2012

Gardening Girl's picture

Submitted by loopygorilla on Mon, 08/13/2012 - 2:39pm.

how can two full grown adults COMFORTABLY perform cunnilingus in a mini cooper. thats like mr. bean's car, it doesnt even have room for mr. bean's teddy, let alone 2 adults peforming oral sex and its not like kstew is a contortionist.

- - - - - - - -
Ok, it IS possible. The dude has to be kinda flexible though. I speak from experience...and I was still in my seat! :D Good times!

"Let them all boil in their own hotdog juice." Deb 7/2012

loopygorilla's picture

ok off to sleep bye

loopygorilla's picture

Submitted by Gardening Girl on Mon, 08/13/2012 - 2:39pm.

yeahhhhhh he is fine, he would look good ontop or laying down on his back.
- -- - - - - - - -

ON TOP ON TOP! DOMINATE ME!!! *pauses & fixes pearls* Excuse me, did that come out of me?

============
hahaha

well in other "pearl neclace" news...
lol i have a spare neck if he wants to give me a pearl necklace :P

loopygorilla's picture

Submitted by Hekki on Mon, 08/13/2012 - 2:34pm.

"I'D NEVER LET ANOTHER VAMPIRE EAT ME OUT IN THE FRONT SEAT OF A MINI-COOPER IF I WAS YOUR GIRLFRIEND,EDWARD"

*chokes on peach Fage*

HAHAHAHAHA!!

And MoMA is a snooze. Team Met!! There is something for everyone there. Arms and Armor, the Costume Institute, the Temple of Dendur... I'm a Met stan. And Iive three blocks away. I'm trying to get a job there!

====================

they did in a mini cooper? see that convinces me it was a staged pussy eating photo op.

how can two full grown adults COMFORTABLY perform cunnilingus in a mini cooper. thats like mr. bean's car, it doesnt even have room for mr. bean's teddy, let alone 2 adults peforming oral sex and its not like kstew is a contortionist.

Gardening Girl's picture

yeahhhhhh he is fine, he would look good ontop or laying down on his back.
- -- - - - - - - -

ON TOP ON TOP! DOMINATE ME!!! *pauses & fixes pearls* Excuse me, did that come out of me?

"Let them all boil in their own hotdog juice." Deb 7/2012

Whamo's picture

Submitted by Gardening Girl on Mon, 08/13/2012 - 2:31pm.

Submitted by Whamo on Mon, 08/13/2012 - 1:56pm.

I would too if I came taking my pants off!

- - - - -- - - - -

Ewwwww!
==================================
I don't seem to understand, why do women have such a PROBLEM with this!!?? Bawahaaaaaa!!!

SANS FARDS's picture

@Hekki, cosign....but I like classical art a lot better than the modern stuff.

_______________________________________________

SANTO DIOS! PRAISE HAY-SOOS CREASE-TOE!

loopygorilla's picture

Submitted by Gardening Girl on Mon, 08/13/2012 - 2:33pm.

Submitted by SANS FARDS on Mon, 08/13/2012 - 2:30pm.

Jason Isaacs is the hotness.

- --- - - -- - - - - - - - -- - -
Sans, saw him in After the Affair where he played a priest. That was the moment I new I was going to roast in flames for eternity.

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yeahhhhhh he is fine, he would look good ontop or laying down on his back.

SANS FARDS's picture

@GG, I was drooling the entire time watching The Patriot. He's so deliciously evil.

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SANTO DIOS! PRAISE HAY-SOOS CREASE-TOE!

Good Cod. I read that headline as MOA-Mall of America. They do this crazy crap all the time. Launched me into "plan your day accordingly mode" as I live about 10 minutes away from that tourist fuckery.

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Hekki's picture

"I'D NEVER LET ANOTHER VAMPIRE EAT ME OUT IN THE FRONT SEAT OF A MINI-COOPER IF I WAS YOUR GIRLFRIEND,EDWARD"

*chokes on peach Fage*

HAHAHAHAHA!!

And MoMA is a snooze. Team Met!! There is something for everyone there. Arms and Armor, the Costume Institute, the Temple of Dendur... I'm a Met stan. And Iive three blocks away. I'm trying to get a job there!

Gardening Girl's picture

@ Loopy and Sans - Bitches! *faints*

"Let them all boil in their own hotdog juice." Deb 7/2012

Gardening Girl's picture

Submitted by SANS FARDS on Mon, 08/13/2012 - 2:30pm.

Jason Isaacs is the hotness.

- --- - - -- - - - - - - - -- - -
Sans, saw him in After the Affair where he played a priest. That was the moment I new I was going to roast in flames for eternity.

"Let them all boil in their own hotdog juice." Deb 7/2012

loopygorilla's picture

Submitted by Gardening Girl on Mon, 08/13/2012 - 2:28pm.

Dunno Loopy...all I know is I wanted to sit on Draco's dad's wand.

===================

LOL GG love it! hahaha

*fans self* oohhhh dont get me started on that fine piece of evil wizard, the way he held his wand in his hand when he was about to shoot, he had such a good grip and the wrist action was soo asserting, no wonder his spells shot out powerfully.

Gardening Girl's picture

Submitted by Whamo on Mon, 08/13/2012 - 1:56pm.

I would too if I came taking my pants off!

- - - - -- - - - -

Ewwwww!

"Let them all boil in their own hotdog juice." Deb 7/2012

SANS FARDS's picture

Submitted by Gardening Girl on Mon, 08/13/2012 - 2:28pm.

Dunno Loopy...all I know is I wanted to sit on Draco's dad's wand.

_______________________________________________

Jason Isaacs is the hotness.

_______________________________________________

SANTO DIOS! PRAISE HAY-SOOS CREASE-TOE!

SANS FARDS's picture

Probably the only time any of them have ever been to a museum in their lives.

_______________________________________________

SANTO DIOS! PRAISE HAY-SOOS CREASE-TOE!

Gardening Girl's picture

Dunno Loopy...all I know is I wanted to sit on Draco's dad's wand.

"Let them all boil in their own hotdog juice." Deb 7/2012

Gardening Girl's picture

THese fans are pathetic.

"Let them all boil in their own hotdog juice." Deb 7/2012

Lucifer_Sam's picture

"Cosmopolis: Riding across Manhattan in a stretch limo in order to get a haircut, a 28-year-old billionaire asset manager's day devolves into an odyssey with a cast of characters that start to tear his world apart."

LMFAO. How imaginative, bullshit author whomever you are. Why is this crap getting praise but Stephenie Meyer's Mary Sue Bella Swan gets slated? Oh yeah, written by a man.

loopygorilla's picture

i dont get twihards, when he was cedric diggory in harry potter, the potheads (is that wat we called harry potter loons??) didnt go fucking go ape crazy for cedric's long thin wand, it was the opposite, all the potheads were 200% focussed on the ways to kill cho chang (jamie chung), the asian girl with purky boobs and baby making body, cuz cho chang was practising spells like expelcumlicious from harry's wand.

and then all the sudden, ugly fuck face rpattz gets cast as a vampire, and idiot dumb girls and old bags who are sooo old they cum in powder form, couldnt get enough of him.

I am far too lazy to go to NYC or fight my way through the Twihards, but I do want to see Cosmopolis. Guess I'll wait for Netflix.

Whamo's picture

@ Snowy......LOL!!! What if you know you're sort of ALL of them (except the tween)

ISprainedMyUvula's picture

Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Mon, 08/13/2012 - 1:40pm.

*thumbs downsy*

*****

:D

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If I see something I haven't seen before, I'll throw a dollar at it.

snowpiece's picture

"Every Dlister can be summed up by one or more of the following adjectives--fat, tween, middle-aged, lonely, desperate, delusional, pathetic, ugly.

**************************
"Shut up, brain!" I replied. "You're not the boss of me! Come on, vagina! Let's get out of here, away from the party pooper trying to ruin our fun."

Every twitard can be summed up by one or more of the following adjectives--fat, tween, middle-aged, lonely, desperate, delusional, pathetic, ugly.

snowpiece's picture

LMAO you guys!

**************************
"Shut up, brain!" I replied. "You're not the boss of me! Come on, vagina! Let's get out of here, away from the party pooper trying to ruin our fun."

Submitted by louise_brooks on Mon, 08/13/2012 - 1:55pm.

And he looks like if you actually had secksy times with him, afterwards he'd gently sob and avoid eye contact.

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Ahahahahaha! HE DOES!

louise_brooks's picture

Submitted by Whamo on Mon, 08/13/2012 - 1:56pm.

I would too if I came taking my pants off!

ROTFL!!