Being Kristen Stewart Is Hard: An Essay By Jodie Foster
Jodie Foster is sort of like the unofficial Captain Save-A-Ho of Hollywood, because she seems to always come to the defense of floundering hos everyone is shitting on. Jodie defended Mel Gibson's shitty ass when everyone hated on him for being an anti-Semitic, blow job-needing ass boil marinating in dirty jacuzzi water. And now Jodie is pulling out her shank and defending Kristen Stewart who starred with her in The Panic Room.
In Jodie Foster's piece for The Daily Beast, she starts off by writing that if she was a young actress today, she would've immediately checked out of the Hollywood game to keep the media from knocking pussies out of her mouth with their cameras. I put it much more eloquently than Jodie did, but that's basically what she said. Jodie says that the media lifts up young celebrities only to later tear them down and punch their souls into dust. Jodie goes on to write that she met a 10-year-old Kristen Stewart on the set of The Panic Room and grew to love her. Jodie once told Kristen Stewart's mom to try to talk her out of doing the acting thing, but her mom said that it's what she wanted.
Jodie then writes some ultra dramatic shit about how KStew was probably an innocent white-haired child who freely danced around at the beach and now she's a hard shell of bad bitch who is constantly getting attacked by the paparazzi. In other words, Jodie's been hitting the bong KStew got her for her birthday:
There’s this image I have of a perfect moment. It comes to me as a square format 8mm home movie with ’70s oversaturated reds and blues, no sound, just a scratchy loop … there’s a little white-haired girl twirling in the surf. She’s singing at the top of her lungs, jumping and spinning around in the cold water, all salty, sandy, full of joy and confidence. She’s unconscious of the camera, of course, in her own world. The camera shakes a little. Perhaps her mom’s laughing behind the lens. Could a child be more loved than in this moment? She’s perfect. She is absolutely perfect.
Cut to: Today … A beautiful young woman strides down the sidewalk alone, head down, hands drawn into fists. She’s walking fast, darting around huge men with black cameras thrusting at her mouth and chest. “Kristen, how do you feel?” “Smile Kris!” “Hey, hey, did you get her?” “I got her. I got her!” The young woman doesn’t cry. Fuck no. She doesn’t look up. She’s learned. She keeps her head down, her shades on, fists in her pockets. Don’t speak. Don’t look. Don’t cry.
My mother had a saying that she doled out after every small injustice, every heartbreak, every moment of abject suffering. “This too shall pass.” God, I hated that phrase. It always seemed so banal and out of touch, like she was telling me my pain was irrelevant. Now it just seems quaint, but oddly true … Eventually this all passes. The public horrors of today eventually blow away. And, yes, you are changed by the awful wake of reckoning they leave behind. You trust less. You calculate your steps. You survive. Hopefully in the process you don’t lose your ability to throw your arms in the air again and spin in wild abandon. That is the ultimate F.U. and—finally—the most beautiful survival tool of all. Don’t let them take that away from you.
THE DRAMA! Get a grip, Jodie.
Jodie's piece is really well-written and you can get it all here if you want it, but what she basically says is that the media sucks, hos need to chill, Kristen Stewart's life is hard, the beach is fun and everyone should respect the "privacy please" sign hanging on a famous actor's front door. I get it. But Jodie forget to write a little open note to KStew: the next time you want a married dude to lick your punane, take it inside. Now those are words to live by.
And some of you probably didn't even read any of the words above, because you're still getting over the fact that it was Kristen Stewart in The Panic Room and not one of the Culkin boys.
Kristin Stewart has a "hard life" on Planet Celebrity and Jodie Foster works with Roman Polanski. What's the problem?
Talk about sloppy seconds. Bitches ass is still coming in hot and Jodie's tongue is rock hard and movin' in for the pokie. Jodie girl, even the hardest of big gals on bikes knows ho code.
Jodie Foster needs more makeup.
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"I have a very poor way of concealing my dislike of people and/or things." -- Evil_Cupcake's Mom
So Jodie Foster is now in the business of defending drunks and dykes?
Interesting....
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Jody looks stupid with that drink in her hand. Belles know never to be caught with a drink in hand.
Jodie Foster has been out. Not news.
I could have sworn that Foster did come out. It was nothing I witnessed or read personally, but I remember my mother telling me about it. (I'm thinking this revelation came around the time Heath Ledger died.) Then it seemed that not long after that I read an article about her where she talked of her depression. (I'm wondering if it was Parade Magazine in the Sunday paper.) I think the entire piece was about that. There was a picture of her sitting on the ground kind of slumped against a couch or something and her partner was standing up and kind of in the background behind her. Anyway, I guess that's not enough for some people nowadays and she should have to shout it from the rooftops and live her life totally for others and only in the way they want her to live it because we individuals are all weak victims who can't do anything for ourselves except maybe be selfish for wanting to be left alone to live our lives the way we want to live it.
Just Ducky - I've heard that theory before and it is very interesting but somehow I find it hard to believe that Mel, with his religious narcissism, would ever donate sperm to make children he'd have no control over. But they seem really close, so... As for myself, I heard speculation that she went to one of those genius sperm banks. That seems like something she would do.
Whamo - I agree with you. KS signed onto the first THREE movies after she got the part of Bella and only when they decided to make the last one was she able to negotiate for the jackpot. Nobody involved with making that movie had any idea it would be as popular as it was and people are just trying to find excuses to shit on her if they believe she, who had already been in about 30 movies by that time, knew what she was getting into. All you have to do is look at the budget for the first one to figure that out. (Hint: there wasn't one.) Yeah, she should have known better than to do whatever with that director where and when she did, but it was one of the paps permanently camped out in front of her house that followed her all around that day with a telephoto lens. That is stalking.
Christ on a bike - actors are full of shit.
What the fuck is she on about? God forbid something truly terrible actually happened instead of just a selfish skank fooling around with a married man.
A pretentious luvvie defending someone who should have known better. Any words of wisdom for the wife and kids, Jodie?
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Vile - Linda La Hughes
"Not anti-god or even anti christian, but I think god has to be seen in the proper light. One of the biggest shortcomings of Christianity, in my judgement, is the lack of a persuasive and satisfying explanation of the fundamental unfairness of the world--purportedly created by an all powerful and loving god."
This isn't the world God created for us. This is the world WE created. We brought in the shit cause we couldn't leave well enough alone in paradise. But Jesus gave us a free ticket back to paradise, one we can't muck up this time, we just have to wait to croak to get there.
Wow. I like that.
Not all Christians are crazy. We are not supposed to hate gays or anyone, really. We get a bad rap from the nutjobs.
I've always wondered if Jodie's defense of crazy ass Mel was because he was the sperm donor.
I'm not saying she's blameless but the coochy munching director she "cheated" with deserves just as much IF NOT MORE ridicule than her.
Kristian is a 20 something, childless actor who was in a "relationship" even Stevie Wonder could see through.
Her lover is a 40 something, married father and director. The director/Actor relationship is a lot like a Supervisor/co-worker relationship at work. One bad word from a director means future acting jobs will be harder to find.
Who knows what she was thinking and what motivated her but if she don't work, he DEFINITELY shouldn't work either!!
b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b
"I'm doin hoe activities, with hoe energy. Hoes are my friends, hoes are my enemies."
I guess it's OKAY THAT THE SANDERS CHILDREN GOT SCREWED UP THE .... right, Jodie? Just leave Kristen alone, right? vomit
P.T. Bullrider - "Its like people who say "god never gives you more than you can handle."
WOOOOOORRDDD!!! Such annoying drivel from people who I assume have never had to handle a truly life-shattering experience. Yes, sometimes it really is more than you can handle. Very bad things do happen.
And I think KStew's esteem already puts her right in your crosshairs - git on that! ;)
@WITH Fards - "that sucks. Sounds like one of those things that people say when they don't know what else TO say."
Maybe true if we were acquaintances, but this was someone who knows me very, very well and knew the degree of my difficulty was deep. That platitude was completely offensive in the context so I relate to Jodie on that point.
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Just here for the fun
Lawdy, Jodie-take it down a notch, that shit is embarrassing!
This too shall pass! LOL! yes that phrase SUCKS!
I also hate the "it's not whether you win or lose but how you play the game". Shoot me PLEASE!
My baseball coach always said this to us after our once again horrible LOSING season.
Don't worry! You don't need to respond.
Submitted by FunLuvinCriminal on Wed, 08/15/2012 - 7:09pm.
Gah - in not-so-distant-memory someone dropped that busted and tired "This too shall pass" garbage on my head during a really, really bad stretch in my life. It made me feel discounted and stabby. Makes me feel like slapping people in the face and saying, "Well that too just passed, bish."
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FunLuvin - that sucks. Sounds like one of those things that people say when they don't know what else TO say....they don't want to offend, but then they end up coming across as offensive, anyway. Most of us aren't taught early on how to react to sad and awkward situations, like death or chronic illness. Try not to let it get to you :)
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SANTO DIOS! PRAISE HAY-SOOS CREASE-TOE!
LOL! *throws arms in the air again and spins in wild abandon*
*passes bong back to Jodie*
Mani6: I liked it Jodie but do you really think anyone is going to buy this nonsense?
Jodie: *giggles*
Don't worry! You don't need to respond.
Submitted by P.T.Bull on Wed, 08/15/2012 - 8:32pm.
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This made me LAUGH OUT LOUD. I know what you mean. You would not be the only one who would say the same about the KStew and the Tattoo-holed chick - I can think of a few right now, so true! LMAO! AHHAHAHAHAH Thanks P.T.
Jodie didn't help or hurt here!
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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Its like people who say "god never gives you more than you can handle." I saw on tv about a mexican child who was beaten to death by his stepfather. Well, it struck me that god did give him more than he could handle, didn't he?
Same thing with "That which does not kill you makes you stronger." That is crap as well.
It is very helpful to acknowledge people's losses. I was at the funeral of a childhood friend. Her mother came up and hugged me and said "This is a horrible day." I could only respond "Yes, it is."
Not anti-god or even anti christian, but I think god has to be seen in the proper light. One of the biggest shortcomings of Christianity, in my judgement, is the lack of a persuasive and satisfying explanation of the fundamental unfairness of the world--purportedly created by an all powerful and loving god.
Sorry to get too heavy, just reminded me of a few things.
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Submitted by FunLuvinCriminal on Wed, 08/15/2012 - 7:09pm.
Gah - in not-so-distant-memory someone dropped that busted and tired "This too shall pass" garbage on my head during a really, really bad stretch in my life. It made me feel discounted and stabby. Makes me feel like slapping people in the face and saying, "Well that too just passed, bish."
Doutless you have a point, but it strikes me that many, if not most, wealthy celebrities are able to avoid paps or being in the tabloids. Maybe it involves hiring services to secretly burn your trash and corporations to hide ownership of property and so on.
Tom Hanks comes to mind--OTOH maybe its because he is a has-been.
Having said that the sort of 'celebrities' in the tabloids lately seem un-wealthy, and barely famous. I love reading the tabloids in the grocery check out line.
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Submitted by Whamo on Wed, 08/15/2012 - 3:09pm...
To be fair some people court the attention of the paps outside of their work while others simply want to act. Some don't want nor need this over the top adulation. I think these pap (that in turn feed the media) have gone completely overboard.
We're all friends here, right? So, I can admit I am just waiting to see if stew's self-esteem gets low enough that I have a chance of hitting it.
I can't decide if she gets me hotter than the culo-tattoo girl. Dysfunction is my catnip.
PS. Maybe Jodie feels creeped out about her role as child prostitute in taxi driver, but absent that breakout role she may have become the owner of a catering service instead of living on a 5,000 acre ranch with no need to work (or whatever she does with her money)
Clarissa!
I love Jodie, but I think she's majorly projecting. I do think that child acting is a form of child abuse (I know, it's an extreme stance). I also think she's conflating two issues. While Hollywood may not be a safe place for children and stage parents are emotionally stunted twits, Kristen Stewart is an ungrateful, entitled bitch. Her public cheating is a byproduct, not her child acting career.
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It hurts because you let your black heart beat for an asshole who can't even send you a "P.S. I'm about to fuck a hole that doesn't belong to you" text before fucking said hole that doesn't belong to you.
Submitted by Skycaptaineddie on Wed, 08/15/2012 - 3:06pm.
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Hope your son is doing better! And you're so right! ;P
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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LMAO @ "asshole whisperer"
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Just here for the fun
Gah - in not-so-distant-memory someone dropped that busted and tired "This too shall pass" garbage on my head during a really, really bad stretch in my life. It made me feel discounted and stabby. Makes me feel like slapping people in the face and saying, "Well that too just passed, bish."
Still love Jodie.
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Just here for the fun
jodie foster has become the asshole wispherer all of a sudden because assholes have feelings too. *insert sarcasm here*
You think all this publicity is HURTING Kristen Stewart?
They're waiting for the twitards to get distracted by something shiny so they can hand her a three movie deal.
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Surfing the apocalypse.
She's starting to look like the old dyke she is...I used to like her but she needs to come out of the closet,,,,then everyone will say, "we already knew",,,,ha ha ha
Did anyone else read that as "Huge black men thrusting at her mouth and chest" .... oh jodie
JFC, would it kill Jodie to put on some makeup? She looks like a catcher's mitt.
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Thanks Edna :)
I just don't think there's many who know that happened. She's being motherly I suppose. KStew is a big girl though so I am not completely Team KStew.
If every celebrity deserves what they get from being famous because they know about fame and they are *asking for it*, those that feel that way should think of Rebecca Schaeffer. She did not deserve that just because she wanted to be an actress. That's pretty fucked up thinking if they get stalked by the paps or otherwise they ask for it. Some do call the paps, some just want to act.
great post and points EvilShoe (on Wed, 08/15/2012 - 5:06pm.
imagine how freaked out such a young person would be about some crazy man saying You were the reason he shot/Trying to kill/ a President of the USA
ofcourse a girl would live the rest of her life in a different *(smaller quieter) way after that.
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"I (almost) never look back, darling. It distracts from The Now."
= Edna 'E' Mode
For Fuck's Sake, do you all know what happened to her? Even if you were too young to know, you can go read about it. She was stalked by two men at Yale, one tried to kill the president and then the paps hounded her for upwards of a damn year at Yale. She was a young girl. She made one statement after the shooting and has rarely spoken of any of it yet. Hell yeah she's private, DUH. Private about everything, not just about being gay. She's talking about this stuff because she knows what it's like to have the paps on your ass. Sometimes it's not about being gay and screaming it to the world.
Who cares anymore really?? I laughed my ass off the first week but now?! Come on she's not the first trick to sleep with a married man..next
SaltyDog,
I get where you are coming from, I really do, and I’ve thought the same thing myself about JF. Mostly I think “you smug little prig, you could help a lot of people”. But could is the optimal word, not should. Success does not breed charity, or often empathy.
I don’t hold gays to a higher standard than I do anyone else.
Just my opinion, for what it's worth.
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Why don't you dance with me? I'm not no limburger.
Submitted by Evil_Cupcake on Wed, 08/15/2012 - 3:59pm.
Submitted by saltydog88 on Wed, 08/15/2012 - 3:30pm.
I just think it is lame that everyone who is gay is expected to make a huge declaration of their sexuality in order to make everyone feel better.
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Agreed! The best she can do is live a life as a decent human being. That does more for gays than any lame ass declaration on People magazine.
I don't buy this whole "affair" which conveniently happened prior to the last Twi movie coming out.
Also, Kristen has a choice. She doesn't have to appear in big movies and get paid millions of dollars to appear in fashion campaigns. She can't have it both ways.
Why Jodie wastes her time feeling sorry for these asshats is silly. She needs to stfu. A violent bigot and a spoiled, bratty actress. Whatever.
*tears falling...* KStew, it sucks that Rupert doesn't get as much good-bad press in this FAKE affair, means you're more famous? *crying* #soharddoneby ;(
MK, love the title! lolol
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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Submitted by saltydog88 on Wed, 08/15/2012 - 4:32pm.
Look, I am not going to get into this big political discussion with you on gay rights, suicide and fat people.
PEOPLE of all races, sizes, sexual orientations and genders are discriminated against EVERY FUCKING DAY! It is not just the gay community who has people who kill themselves from bullying. It isn't just the gay community that suffers, so please quit with the drama.
Have a nice day.
Submitted by Evil_Cupcake on Wed, 08/15/2012 - 3:59pm.
Submitted by saltydog88 on Wed, 08/15/2012 - 3:30pm.
Fuck Jodie Foster, what a piece of shit that woman is. She's a lesbian yet refuses to come out and support her fellow GLBT community members.
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Sorry, but I do not agree that people need to stand on a fucking podium and scream "I'M GAY" "I'm BI" "I'M STRAIGHT". Heterosexuals don't have to discuss their sexuality and declare it, so why must homosexuals? Aren't people allowed to live their lives without making a big deal out of who they are?
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I would understand your point if gay people had equal rights in this country, if gay kids weren't killing themselves, if fat-assed bigots weren't lined up around the block to buy fried chicken in a statement of their ignorant intolerance.
She is a rich, successful, respected actor/director and doesn't really stand to loose anything by coming out. I think if you can make a difference in the lives of others by doing something as simple as saying "yes, I'm a lesbian" than you should. Young gay people need role models and even though I think she's a bit of a twat she is an educated and successful person that could easily be a role model for young girls, but instead she'd rather defend asshats like KStew and Gibson.
I loved every word you snarky assholes.
oh Krissy, Rob's already moved on since day 1; go back to being a cheatey cheata eating cheetos K.... :)
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"I love the rain , it washes memories off the sidewalk of life."- Allan;
ty- *iconzicons*
Ah, Jodie Foster, you insufferable twat... One of the few people on the planet I can honestly say I hate completely. I couldn't give a shit about her "secret" gayness, but ever since she's said that horrible shit about kicking baby birds I've wanted to punch that smug asshole head right off of her thick neck.
Submitted by Skycaptaineddie on Wed, 08/15/2012 - 3:06pm.
Sorry to hear that, hope you are hanging in there
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After publishing this letter, Jody laughed softly to herself,
"hey, hey, but first you will blow me before the Jacuzzi, bitch!"
EvilS- The mic wasn't on!
*turns on mic, loud feed back and screeching*
*tap, tap, testing, 1-2-3*
Okay, the podium is ready for you to support your team!
*steps up to podium*
I LOVE PEEN, IF ANYONE NEEDS HELP AND SUPPORT TO ALSO LOVE PEEN, I'M HERE!
Submitted by saltydog88 on Wed, 08/15/2012 - 3:30pm.
Fuck Jodie Foster, what a piece of shit that woman is. She's a lesbian yet refuses to come out and support her fellow GLBT community members.
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Sorry, but I do not agree that people need to stand on a fucking podium and scream "I'M GAY" "I'm BI" "I'M STRAIGHT". Heterosexuals don't have to discuss their sexuality and declare it, so why must homosexuals? Aren't people allowed to live their lives without making a big deal out of who they are?
If you are a democrat, you don't need to be out stumping for the politicians, if you love animals you do not have to be a member of PETA.
I just think it is lame that everyone who is gay is expected to make a huge declaration of their sexuality in order to make everyone feel better.
What I want to know is what kind of pact with old scratch did KStew make that everyone ends up licking her nethers?
Jodie please have a seat. I liked you better fighting for Mel Gibson's rights to a BJ.
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Don't make me quote Nabokov at you. I'll do it. I promise.