Hot Slut Of The Day!
By now, some of you (Side note: Thanks to everybody who dropped this into my inbox) have already memorized this open letter, recited it into Garage Band and turned it into a dance remix which you blasted in your living room while drunkenly dancing around with an empty bottle of vodka. But for those of you who haven't read it yet, let me quickly tell your ass how this beautiful and hilarious work of poetry from Minnesota Vikings punter Chris Kluwe came to be. So, last week Brendon Ayanbadejo, linebacker for the Baltimore Ravens, spoke for marriage equality, because you know, the First Amendment allows him to open up his mouth and say things he wants to say. Well, Emmert C. Burns Jr., a democrat in the Maryland House of Delegates, didn't like this and so he wet farted out a letter to the owner of the Baltimore Ravens where he basically said, "Stop the children-ruining words of sin from coming out of your player's dark-sided talk trap by shoving a Bible in there."
Chris Kluwe, who's spoken out for same-sex marriage several times, wasn't having any of Mr. Burns' letter and wrote an open letter to that gay marriage-hating ho on Deadspin. Politics aside, I think most of us can appreciate a football player using the glorious phrase "lustful cockmonster" in an open letter to a politician type. The full letter is here (if you haven't already read it and tattooed it to your back), but below is my favorite part:
I can assure you that gay people getting married will have zero effect on your life. They won't come into your house and steal your children. They won't magically turn you into a lustful cockmonster. They won't even overthrow the government in an orgy of hedonistic debauchery because all of a sudden they have the same legal rights as the other 90 percent of our population—rights like Social Security benefits, child care tax credits, Family and Medical Leave to take care of loved ones, and COBRA healthcare for spouses and children. You know what having these rights will make gays? Full-fledged American citizens just like everyone else, with the freedom to pursue happiness and all that entails. Do the civil-rights struggles of the past 200 years mean absolutely nothing to you?
In closing, I would like to say that I hope this letter, in some small way, causes you to reflect upon the magnitude of the colossal foot in mouth clusterfuck you so brazenly unleashed on a man whose only crime was speaking out for something he believed in. Best of luck in the next election; I'm fairly certain you might need it.
Sincerely,
Chris KluweP.S. I've also been vocal as hell about the issue of gay marriage so you can take your "I know of no other NFL player who has done what Mr. Ayanbadejo is doing" and shove it in your close-minded, totally lacking in empathy piehole and choke on it. Asshole.
YAAASSS! Dude just gave that Mr. Burns bitch a KLUWE and then some. (You can GONG me for that shittier than usual joke, but you shouldn't, because you should be too busy slow clapping for the use "lustful cockmonster" and "totally lacking in empathy piehole.")
And since we're all a pack of lustful cockmonsters here, shirtless pictures of Chris Kluwe do exist on the Internet. Congratulations to all us lustful cockmonsters!
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Glambert, And that's the point, you should be able to if you want to, like everyone else! See, there is growing support and someday this will happen! Good for Ayanbadejo (forgot to mention him before) and Kluwe and the next ones after! Hugs back btw! ;p
•-•-•-•-•-•
"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
░░░░♬♣☺♪◘☼♥♫•ღ♩♦≈❀♠♡░░░░
Submitted by KA on Mon, 09/10/2012 - 1:39am.
glambert, you keep on keepin' on - mn needs all the help they can get to vote no in november!
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Thanks! BTW I have never wanted to get married(I'm more "Goldie and Kurt" oriented as far a marriage goes)
I just want the RIGHT to get married or adopt or join the military if I wanted to!(and yes now I can join the military and openly admit to being gay...THANK YOU OBAMA!)
Submitted by Migraineuse on Sun, 09/09/2012 - 8:30am.
A football player wrote that literary masterpiece?
My mind. It is the boggled!
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mine as well! also your responses are spot on. i may not agree with you all the time, but on this subject and these posts i do 100%. glambert, you keep on keepin' on - mn needs all the help they can get to vote no in november!
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"It's called a party bus! Not a punch-a-titty bus. And put your MetroCard away, Chris Brown, no such bus exists." MK
To Migraineuse,
Beautifully written response. It's amazing that we have to approach TPTB with hat in hand - when they're the offending party. That's how they stay in power, as far as I can see.
Oh, and Ayanbadejo & Kluwe are collectively King of the World.
Submitted by Migraineuse on Sun, 09/09/2012 - 8:40am.
Ah, the inevitable "tone" argument. That's when the marginalized group, or person speaking on their behalf, is scolded for not being humble or respectful enough to please more-privileged folk. "I would support your cause," say the privileged, "if only you would have been nicer about it, but you weren't, so I won't. Nyeah!"
Message: Underprivileged folk must always bend over backwards, fawning and flattering, because the overprivileged expect deference and ego-stroking at all times.
People with a serious investment in oppressing others will not decide to stop just because they were asked nicely. They like power and they're not going to give it up voluntarily. But telling them off, loudly and publicly, may attract enough others interested in joining your cause to take your oppressors down by the force of majority.
----------------------------------------------
Thank you for "getting" my POV!
Submitted by Migraineuse on Sun, 09/09/2012 - 8:30am.
A football player wrote that literary masterpiece?
My mind. It is the boggled!
------------------------------------------
This also shocked me to the core!
Thank you, withinreason...xoxoxoxoxxxxx
*********************
I've got ten bucks and me and dirty eddie are staying out all weekend! - Rob Pue (thank you BBitch and Sweetas)
The difficult brown?! I think we're all done here. -MK
Submitted by urmomma on Sun, 09/09/2012 - 11:51am.
--
Bravo urmomma. Good day to you as well! ;p
•-•-•-•-•-•
"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
░░░░♬♣☺♪◘☼♥♫•ღ♩♦≈❀♠♡░░░░
Migraineuse - I registered to comment JUST to say thank you. I've been reading the site for years but never had any interest in commenting, and probably won't again LOL, but I HAD to today to let you know that I always seem to agree with everything you say but cannot say it articulately enough, something you accomplish. The people who berate you for it either don't understand or feel threatened, or in one particular case feel pleased with themselves that they just learned a new word and want to yell it out via capitals and exclamation points to make sure everyone notices their new found vocab. Hopefully more eyes will be opened in the future, but until then, just know *I* hear you ;) xo
As for this football fellow, he has a new fan in me, and I don't even like football...lol.
Thank you brigjones. I did buy a jersey. I liked Vikings on Facebook. Anything else I can do that doesn't cost money?? I like voting with my dollar but I'm tapped out after the NFL jersey. I hope that sends a good message to the NFL. I was compelled since the language does seem to indicate he Is one of us slores or MK wrote that!
---------- Dying’s for amateurs. C. Sheen
I'm not a huge football fan but I can now say I'm officially a fan of Kluwe and Ayanbadejo.
And I "shared" it on Facebook . I did not think you could say cockmonster on Facebook. It's a great letter! All the right words in all the right places. I particularly appreciate how he points out the pack of empathy. Way too much of that these days.
---------- Dying’s for amateurs. C. Sheen
Submitted by Migraineuse on Sun, 09/09/2012 - 8:40am.
Submitted by EvilShoe on Sat, 09/08/2012 - 6:21pm.
You don't fight bigotry with hate back. It never works. Glambert, although I understand why you are mad, you make yourself look like an ass constantly yelling at the same people. You are just as bad as them when you do that.
Do you people act like this in public. Damn. Haven't you ever heard, "If you wouldn't say it in person, don't say it online"?
Submitted by Glambert on Sat, 09/08/2012 - 10:58pm.
Anyway....yes I will and have said the same shit I post online to people in public!
_______________________________________
Ah, the inevitable "tone" argument. That's when the marginalized group, or person speaking on their behalf, is scolded for not being humble or respectful enough to please more-privileged folk. "I would support your cause," say the privileged, "if only you would have been nicer about it, but you weren't, so I won't. Nyeah!"
_______________________________________
Really? You missed the point to throw your own version of what you think in there. I did not say Glambert needed to be nicer about their civil rights if it was desired. That is fucking BS.
My point was, these people come here purposely to stir the drama and instead of ignoring these bullies Glambert spends time yelling and screaming which is not how I think Glambert should be showing how great they are. Glambert doesn't have to ask these people nicely for what they want to be equal, that is absurd to say that is what I was saying. Stop being a bitch and injecting shit into this that isn't true.
I just came upon this HOT DAMN SLUT OF THE DAY! You know I am approving this message with two snaps and a Haaaaaaaaaaay. He speaks to me, he really does.
and WTF?! is the issue here? We give MURDERERS the right to marriage. MF Richard "I am of the devil" Ramirez got married while on death row. Since when do we put convicted serial killers above our citizens. Okay. Okay. That was a bad example....FML. YOU GET THE POINT! The point that we are treating the Gay Community like they are less than a FUCKING SERIAL KILLER. They have LESS RIGHTS THAN A FUCKING SERIAL KILLER. Where are you on that you stoopit hate filled, ignorant of morals, lacking in HUMANITY and judgemental FUCKS?
You really need to STOP trying to be the gatekeepers to everyone's souls. Tend your own backyard and stay the fuck off my lawn. Get your soul right before "fixin'" others. You alone will STAND before GOD. It is not a group effort. I won't get to call in backup when I ANSWER to HIM. The only thing I get is "I tried to be a good Human with love in my heart." And after all the shit I have done, I don't think adding "I hated others because I thought you wanted me to" is not gonna help my case. Shiiiiiit.
Anyhoo, I hope everyone has a lovely day.
*********************
I've got ten bucks and me and dirty eddie are staying out all weekend! - Rob Pue (thank you BBitch and Sweetas)
The difficult brown?! I think we're all done here. -MK
Submitted by Migraineuse on Sun, 09/09/2012 - 8:30am.
A football player wrote that literary masterpiece?
My mind. It is the boggled!
********************************************
MISANDRIST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Submitted by EvilShoe on Sat, 09/08/2012 - 6:21pm.
You don't fight bigotry with hate back. It never works. Glambert, although I understand why you are mad, you make yourself look like an ass constantly yelling at the same people. You are just as bad as them when you do that.
Do you people act like this in public. Damn. Haven't you ever heard, "If you wouldn't say it in person, don't say it online"?
Submitted by Glambert on Sat, 09/08/2012 - 10:58pm.
Anyway....yes I will and have said the same shit I post online to people in public!
_______________________________________
Ah, the inevitable "tone" argument. That's when the marginalized group, or person speaking on their behalf, is scolded for not being humble or respectful enough to please more-privileged folk. "I would support your cause," say the privileged, "if only you would have been nicer about it, but you weren't, so I won't. Nyeah!"
Message: Underprivileged folk must always bend over backwards, fawning and flattering, because the overprivileged expect deference and ego-stroking at all times.
People with a serious investment in oppressing others will not decide to stop just because they were asked nicely. They like power and they're not going to give it up voluntarily. But telling them off, loudly and publicly, may attract enough others interested in joining your cause to take your oppressors down by the force of majority.
*______________________________________*
I'm a heretic. Feel free to drive me from your midst.
A football player wrote that literary masterpiece?
My mind. It is the boggled!
*______________________________________*
I'm a heretic. Feel free to drive me from your midst.
Karen Flatts: FYI, all politicians' voting records *are* public. Simple public record, easy to find.
This is a good example of citizens going to the ballot box unawares.
Sananda Kumara called. He said he never ever mentioned gays in the Bible. He also would like people to leave him out of their hate agendas. He has bigger issues in this universe. Thanks.
.................................
Worrying is using your imagination
to create something you don’t want.
Submitted by Glambert on Sat, 09/08/2012 - 10:58pm.
--
There is growing support Glambert and that makes me hopeful too. I'd say this in public as well! :)
•-•-•-•-•-•
"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
░░░░♬♣☺♪◘☼♥♫•ღ♩♦≈❀♠♡░░░░
Submitted by Mel-Tang on Sat, 09/08/2012 - 4:41pm.
Cookie Monster, I guess I am one of those minority parents that support gay people/rights, and would PROUDLY take my children to a gay pride parade.
My kids are not allowed to eat at Chik Fil A, or participate in the scouts because of those organizations views of gay people. And you know what? They don't WANT to be part of these hate groups. They are children, and know that it's wrong to exclude or discriminate against another human being for any reason.
If everyone could learn to have a little compassion, this world would be a much better place.
-----------------------------------------
Thank you so much for standing up for civil rights and teaching your kids to be compassionate human beings!
**Kisses Mel-Tang on the cheek**
This guy is gorgeous and brilliant and I'm watching football now.
Submitted by EvilShoe on Sat, 09/08/2012 - 10:09pm.
Well, shit Glambert, how can I argue with that? :):)
-------------------------------------------------
Well maybe now you get my point of view. I respect that everyone has a right to their own personal views no matter how bigoted. Maybe once I have equal rights as a fucking human being I will ignore their pathetic hate mongering. I just want my share of equal fucking rights and that is it. (I don't give a shit if they like me or my "lifestyle"...they can hate it all they want but I am entitled equal rights)
Regardless I will never respect the Republican party for major hypocrisies in their views but also pathetic statements from them like MN's own CongressCUNT Michele Bachmann who questions if slavery ever happened!
She and her deeply closeted yet OBVIOUSLY gay husband who runs a pray away the gay clinic can both go fuck themselves!
Thanks Within :)
Twatty, I wish it was a sinus infection (I do get them every so often). It's from post-concussion syndrome. It's almost gone now. How sweet of you asking. :)
Well, shit Glambert, how can I argue with that? :):)
Submitted by Mel-Tang on Sat, 09/08/2012 - 7:40pm.
Oh, and KLUWE FOR PRESIDENT!!!!!!! LOL. Suck that, Cockymonster
**********************************************
Coming from someone who has been pushing the fucking Poopreport.com for years.
Fuck OFF troll.
Submitted by Meatblocks on Sat, 12/31/2011 - 10:17am.
it ain't awesome until flatts shits on it.
Submitted by snowpiece on Wed, 07/08/2009 - 5:00pm.
Karen Flatts is always a cunt
Submitted by Glambert on Sat, 09/08/2012 - 5:44pm.
Submitted by WithinReason... on Sat, 09/08/2012 - 5:39pm.
Glambert, not my style but can't blame ya for trying to take down vile bigots! Getting the feeling, it's a no win situation but I hear ya when you tell the monsters that hate mongering has no place here! lol
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***HUGS***
Ditto!!
===========================================
...the end
When you finally get football players to confront homophobia, you have to take it as a victory. Good on those two guys to call out chickenshit and in some cases hypocritical politicians.
That said, sorry Chris, but I am a huge Bears fan. Bear Down!
Submitted by Glambert on Sat, 09/08/2012 - 5:39pm.
Submitted by Dog on Sat, 09/08/2012 - 5:30pm.
Bwahahahaahaha! Cockie Dumpster and Dumbert are sniping at each other. Two ignorant simpletons actually trying to out-idiot each other. Classic!
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Lot's of people are going after Cookie Monster in case you're too fucking stupid to notice. Why the hell are you singling me out for something many people are doing?
*************************************************
Umm...durrr...durr..durr but in case you're too stupid to notice... Oh yeah, you are too stupid to notice.
Lots of people go after a lot of small people, those who are in the minority, those who still stand up for themselves in the face of opposition, those who are an easy target.
What do you call people who go against the grain in support of their beliefs??? Better than you.
***********************************************
Submitted by Meatblocks on Sat, 12/31/2011 - 10:17am.
it ain't awesome until flatts shits on it.
Submitted by snowpiece on Wed, 07/08/2009 - 5:00pm.
Karen Flatts is always a cunt
Well, Emmert C. Burns Jr., a democrat...
Hi? Hello??? A DEMOCRAT???
This is why gay marriage will always have foes. Some Republicans are against it, but this is the first closeted Democrat that actually fessed up.
It is about time these votes were made public.
************************************************
Submitted by Meatblocks on Sat, 12/31/2011 - 10:17am.
it ain't awesome until flatts shits on it.
Submitted by snowpiece on Wed, 07/08/2009 - 5:00pm.
Karen Flatts is always a cunt
Submitted by EvilShoe on Sat, 09/08/2012 - 6:21pm.
You don't fight bigotry with hate back. It never works. Glambert, although I understand why you are mad, you make yourself look like an ass constantly yelling at the same people. You are just as bad as them when you do that.
Do you people act like this in public. Damn. Haven't you ever heard, "If you wouldn't say it in person, don't say it online"?
Fuck.
-------------------------------------------
You're right. I am just as bad as a hate monger because I don't tolerate their trolling. And yes I would say the things I have said to Gladys and Cookie if people were spouting that kind of hatred in public. I HAVE!
There is going to be a vote in MN this year to define marriage as between a man and a woman and last year right on the outskirts of the MN state fair their was a bigotry booth set up accosting people trying make them vote to deny me my civil rights. You're damn right I got into it with them. My boyfriend was mortified that I was getting into it with them but I didn't care. It was quite heated at first but I left the victor when they couldn't answer my questions about how my being able to marry a man would PERSONALLY effect them. They were unable to answer so I came to the conclusion that they are simply hate mongers trying to repress everyone else because they have no lives. I stated such and I walked away as a young heterosexual couple cheered with what I said and then they themselves began to argue with the bigot booth.
Anway....this year at the MN state fair there was no bigot booth right outside the fairgrounds and instead their was dozens of houses around with political signs in their yards supporting gay marriage.(and no bigot signs against it to be found) Also there were at least 200 people I spotted at the fair with t-shirts supporting gay marriage but I only saw 3 people wearing t-shirts against it. Makes me hopeful for the upcoming vote.
Anyway....yes I will and have said the same shit I post online to people in public!
Read the entire letter. He had me at, "you also come across as a narcissistic fromunda stain..."
*fanning away a sudden case of the vapors
~*~Hello, my baby! Hello, my honey! Hello, my ragtime gal....~*~
I don't know why that letter from Chris Kluwe made me kind of happy and relaxed.
I live in a country where you can be whatever you want to be, but in America the religion is as strong and powerful like in the muslim countries.
This guy will forever be a hero, and remember he's part of a macho culture in the lockers.
He is a living proof that America offers more than trashy plastic whores.
Respect!
His wife is so lucky!
ººº
Insert Porn Music
Oh, and KLUWE FOR PRESIDENT!!!!!!! LOL. Suck that, Cockymonster.
www.poopreport.com :)
<3-------------------------------<3
RIMADYL KILLS
Cookie Monster, it is YOUR children the world feels sorry for. Let's just hope your 'God' doesn't give you any. If he/she already has, hopefully they will run far away from you and anyone else who thinks like you.
*projectile vomits, spins head, and floats away*
www.poopreport.com :)
<3-------------------------------<3
RIMADYL KILLS
Submitted by kate773 on Sat, 09/08/2012 - 7:21pm.
"tornadoes of ignorance"...and this is one of the reasons I love you guys. Just like the weather one passes through occasionally.
............................................
Don't feed the trolls. I.e Cookie Monster.
Everyone is entitled to their opinion, same as we are. Even if our opinion is that their opinion is hateful and hypocritical. Sadly, calling people out on it doesn't change anything. I feel a lot better letting them swirl around in their tornadoes of ignorance and letting it go.
ETA: I still think CK's letter is a symphony of awesome.
Oh Sal, I heart you so.
OK which one of you hos is Chris Kluwe?
Why does Cookie Monster visit and post on DListed when it's full of vile, filthy homos and their friends?
Submitted by EvilShoe on Sat, 09/08/2012 - 6:23pm.
--
EvilS, did you see Twatty was asking after you? Maybe she's still around. I think she said she had experience with migraines...
•-•-•-•-•-•
"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
░░░░♬♣☺♪◘☼♥♫•ღ♩♦≈❀♠♡░░░░
Another damn political thread down the fucking tubes. Perfect.
Chris Kluwe should run for president!
He's got it all.
ººº
Insert Porn Music
You don't fight bigotry with hate back. It never works. Glambert, although I understand why you are mad, you make yourself look like an ass constantly yelling at the same people. You are just as bad as them when you do that.
Do you people act like this in public. Damn. Haven't you ever heard, "If you wouldn't say it in person, don't say it online"?
Fuck.
I follow him on Twitter. He's great. This is coming from a rabid Pats fan.
Glambert, how am I singling you out? I have looked at my posts and haven't singled you out at all. I lumped you in with CM and gladyslove. Bit of a difference, hey?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
Submitted by Cookie_Monster_ on Sat, 09/08/2012 - 4:51pm.
---
And who is this God you're speaking on behalf of, dear? When you know his or her real name, let us know, mmmkay?
Rest assured that, if said nameless deity wanted to have those views imposed on human kind, s/he would find more direct or smarter ways to relay that message other than through you, sweetheart.
Foxxy, thanks and sowwy!
Submitted by WithinReason... on Sat, 09/08/2012 - 5:39pm.
Glambert, not my style but can't blame ya for trying to take down vile bigots! Getting the feeling, it's a no win situation but I hear ya when you tell the monsters that hate mongering has no place here! lol
--------------------------------------------------
***HUGS***
Submitted by Dog on Sat, 09/08/2012 - 5:40pm.
Glambert, don't be a Gloomy Gus just because your Pinto needs new wiper blades.
------------------------------------
Oh I'm a gloomy gus now because you single me out from the crowd only to insult me and then not answer my question. Apparently you have no answer as to why you are singling me out specifically.