Don't You Hate It When A Naked Crazy Trick Breaks Into Your House And Starts Fapping On Your Floor?
Bam Margera, one of the humanized scabs from Jackass, has probably been woken up by all sorts of not-so-fresh fuckery like blow horns in his ears, monkey farts in his nostrils and man piss on his face, but last night he was woken up a nekkid ass nekkid crazy bitch who started kissing on him in his bed. Before you shout "So that's what my mom was doing last night!" the crazy girl is 24-years-old.
Every damn night Mel Gibson prays to God to drop a naked, horny young trick into his bed to blow him before Jacuzzi, so Mel's prayer must've somehow been accidentally filed in Bam Margera's prayer box instead. That sound you hear is Mad Mel screaming at God up in the sky for granting his wish to the wrong bitch.
TMZ says that right after the crazy naked bitch woke Bam up by kissing on him, he must've had a moment of clarity and realized only the craziest crazy of skanky skanky bitches would crawl into HIS bed. Because instead of giving her some kisses back, he threw the crazy off of him and called 911. While he was on the phone with 911, the crazy bitch added even more layers of slimy crazy by getting on the floor to do herself with her hand. Once Bam hung up with the police, he kicked that her out of his house. The police later caught her in the area around Bam's house. Bitch could be charged with burglary, criminal trespassing and stalking, and for some reason she wasn't charged with sexual assault and vandalizing carpet with her coochie juices.
THE HELL is right. Either this crazy bitch was a maenad on the wrong stuff or we're going to learn on the next Jackass movie that this was really Johnny Knoxville in a wig and a rubber pussy on his crotch.
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Not buying his story. Not that I care. I loved Jackass. I enjoyed his skateboard stunts. I didn't and don't like how he treats people around him. The Cult of Bam is silly.
He used to be hot. Now? He's gained a ton of weight. Not looking good anymore.
Submitted by tomahawk on Sat, 09/15/2012 - 3:26pm.
Why should "housewives" keep their opinions "to themselves"? Spoken like a true pretentious, obnoxious, misogynist Jackass.
Funny, Bam Margera got his money being a total douche to society, he's ugly, untalented, worthless and ignorant.
Nice to see birds of a feather flock together.
submitted by tomahawk on Sat, 09/15/2012
do good holier than you tight up women = Housewives. (No offense to actual housewives who learned to keep their thoughts to themselves from time to time).
You are so fucking stupid that I am stumped for words.
The bigger story is that Bam Margera still, apparently, exists.
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SANTO DIOS! PRAISE HAY-SOOS CREASE-TOE!
Submitted by Lucifer_Sam on Sat, 09/15/2012 - 6:35am.
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I was just repeating what YOU said - reread the stuff you're typing once in a while.
And sorry, but I didn't understand the last passage you wrote.
You think people with a brain wouldn't hurt themselves? Maybe but that's why they hired a lot of the others so they only did the minor stuff. I didn't like the Jackass episodes and movies myself, but still I like/d that guys.
The persons calling the Jackass-Crew names and wishing them death are usually do good holier than you tight up women = Housewives.
(No offense to actual housewives who learned to keep their thoughts to themselves from time to time).
Submitted by Deb on Sat, 09/15/2012 - 1:44pm.
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lol, to each their own. :)
oops, I meant that for ISMU comment below, but it's fitting for you both. He's not ugly, but no head turner, strictly appearance wise. Add his antics on tv and real life and EW.
I love Jackass. I'll admit it. And I'd hit Bam eventually, after doing shameful things to Knoxville.
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If I see something I haven't seen before, I'll throw a dollar at it.
The caption for this should be When Life Imitates Art
Hey Debbie do!! Saturday, is for relaxing isn't it? I have a few chores to do which I hope to get to, we'll see, having a cafe au lait, at the mo. hahaha I procrastinate a lot too! ;p
Bam looks very different in this picture doesn't he, lol It is freaky that the chick could get into his house and crawl into bed with him, crawling on the carpet sounds methy! YIKES!
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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Hey Within! How YOU doin'? I gotta quit procrastinating and get going on some stuff. Just stopped in for a few. What are you up to today?
I am not into all the tatts, but I think Mr. Margera here is quite cute.
"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson
Submitted by Deb on Sat, 09/15/2012 - 1:51pm.
*drools for a cheesesteak and/or hoagie*
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Nomnomnom nomnomnom nomnomnom
Hi Deb! ;p
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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Hey M.E.! How you doin'? My bro-in-law moonlights weekends at a cheesesteak and hoagie joint right near Bam's nightclub. I got the inside dope from him. *drools for a cheesesteak and/or hoagie*
"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson
I should have left after one comment and not read further than Debs post. JFC.
*sits with Deb*
Submitted by CodeRed on Sat, 09/15/2012 - 7:49am.
And wasn't he the same one who also got attacked by a lunatic with a baseball bat on his street? It's too hilarious to even feel sympathy or be concerned.
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The lunatic with the baseball bat was a known psychotic that rented an apartment in a building Bam owns.
I don't get all the hate. Jackass was a funny show, and the movies are (mostly) hilarious, too. They ALL were/are a bit into the ass and dick-play, IMHO. Ryan Dunn and his passenger died in a preventable, tragic accident, (on a treacherous road I have driven many times). He was no saint, but he wasn't satan either.
Bam is known as a nice person around West Chester.
I think his parents were in on at least some of the stunts pulled on them. If not, after the first few times, they had to be expecting shit to happen, no?
And call me crazy, but I think Bam is hot, (not in this picture).
edit - "this picture" meaning MK's picture
http://www.celebs101.com/gallery/Bam_Margera/14776/bam_margera_photo_3.j...
"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson
I agree, she did assault him but maybe this guy didn't want to press charges. The police doesn't have the authority to charge her anyway, do they?
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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Bam is the biggest pussy out of the jackass crew
Submitted by rook on Sat, 09/15/2012 - 12:34pm.
The guy made his living by being an ass to his parents - only fitting he'd disrespect his wife.
So true. He always seemed badly spoiled and sort of arrogant to me. His parents are rather sweet and befuddled.
Submitted by RandéSleepover on Sat, 09/15/2012 - 12:00pm.
Submitted by rook on Sat, 09/15/2012 -11:54am. Doesn't he live with his parents? She was probably there to sex up his hot piece furry walrus dad instead.
Or Uncle Don Vito? Can't wait till Bam turns into him.
I think he's still legally married but living with other women in other places. Shocking, right?
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He's looking more like Don Vito as he gets older...
Yeah, I feel bad for his wife. I read that he got her to do Playboy, but she was reluctant and only did it for him. And yeah he's definitely been banging chicks on the side. But I guess she knew what she was getting into. The guy made his living by being an ass to his parents - only fitting he'd disrespect his wife.
That said, I don't hate him, but I don't see why girls obsess over him.
I always thought Bam was cute. That photo, not so much.
Now this guy looks like the type for Avril Lavigne. They could share dirty, trashy hoodies with that stupid heart/pentacle design on them.
*I'm ashamed of what I did for a Klondike Bar*
That pic looks nothing like Bam (looked him up on Google images). I thought it was Tom Cruise from Rock of Ages. Bam may be an ass, but he's a CUTE ass. Had never heard of him.
Anyway, that psycho nutcase does need to be charged with sexual assault. Why would he be turned by some psycho who breaks in to his home and starts molesting him? Ewwwww. That must have been very scary and gross.
Submitted by rook on Sat, 09/15/2012 - 11:54am.
Doesn't he live with his parents? She was probably there to sex up his hot piece furry walrus dad instead.
Or Uncle Don Vito? Can't wait till Bam turns into him.
I think he's still legally married but living with other women in other places. Shocking, right?
Doesn't he live with his parents? She was probably there to sex up his hot piece furry walrus dad instead.
I've met him (twice). He's definitely an entitled little douche with a gaggle of smelly tattooed minions following him at all times, but, he's much cuter in person and he bought me a shot. So cheers to you Bam.
He's not gay (he could be bi, but he's not gay).
He was asking for it. Just look at how he's dressed above. Slutty slut with all those trampy tats. No wonder he ended up with a crank-addled skank in his bed.
And the fuckery continues........
She was only kissing and not Jackin the beanstalk.
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Submitted by TexnDoc on Fri, 09/14/2012 - 10:49pm.
Did she have a pink Birkin? A Chanel belt? Leave by private plane? God Bless.
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Giggle. Possibly the only woman who would get thrown out of bed by a man in disgust.
Where is Migraine to buzz-kill all this and say that this is somehow this Bam person's fault and the woman is the victim?
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Visit The Freckle on Lindsay Lohan's Lip on Facebook.
THIS is the object of fapping? Don't psychotic, nymphomaniacal, criminal horndogs have standards?
Submitted by El Bastardo on Sat, 09/15/2012 - 8:52am.
HEY!!... i may be smelly. i may be a yank. i may love cheetos, but how dare you accuse me of sleeping?!?!... lotta nerve!
oh, and Monty Python is much better than that hack Shakespeare!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7DA2MKuI6fs
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"I could listen to a babbling brook,
and hear a song that I could understand.
I keep wishing it could be that way.
Because my world would be a Wonderland."
Submitted by Kitsi on Sat, 09/15/2012 - 8:56am.
You clearly don't comprehend things easily.
Things? Nah, just inane and idiotic comparisons.
They are legit examples. Clearly you know you're wrong because you have no response other than the insults you used previously. The fact is accidents happen. Preventable deaths happen. To take one moment in someone's life and demonize them over it is pathetic. To insult then and their memory is as well. He made a stupid mistake, yes. So do many other people.
It's great on here when all the smelly Yanks are still asleep. All they talk about is their kids/dogs/beer/cheetos etc. It's so much more classy without them.
Right, who's up for some Shakespeare?
I can't be the only one that thought it was Bam that broke into someone else's home and sexually assaulted them when first reading this. Seems so much more bloody likely.
Submitted by Kitsi on Sat, 09/15/2012 - 8:40am.
Those comparisons are quite accurate....
Yes, taking a flight and "eating" (what the fuck?) are the exact same thing as driving shit-faced drunk with someone else in the car, speeding, and putting everyone else's life at risk, and then going on to kill the person in your car too. All this done deliberately, by someone who thought drunk-driving was fun. VERY ACCURATE.
The other guy that died, and everyone who has been killed by some sack of shit drunk-driver, is somebody's loved one too. Just not yours, so THAT'S OK then. I wonder what deluded world you live in.
You clearly don't comprehend things easily. Eating the wrong foods can be detrimental to your health, going on a flight or any car ride is taking a chance. What I am saying is there are a vast number of preventable or accidental deaths. The cause of death doesn't make it better for the bereaved. How is that a difficult concept to grasp? And I think you're deluded if you're saying he deliberately killed himself and Zach. You could die stepping out the front door. Doesn't mean it was intended. People make mistakes. some have more dire consequences than others.
If I woke up with a crazy naked slut all over me I'd be straight on the phone to the police.....in a few hours.
Submitted by Kitsi on Sat, 09/15/2012 - 8:12am.
In that case, everyone should be insulted for dying. How dare you smoke! You deserved cancer! How dare you eat? You deserve a heart attack. How dare you take a flight! You deserve to crash.
This post was brought to you from the Department of Inane and Idiotic Comparisons.
Those comparisons are quite accurate.... My point still stands. No matter the method, losing a loved one is never easy.
why the fuck was she charged with Burglary? Unless she took and hid an item up her cooch, that's a bogus charge.
Submitted by Kitsi on Sat, 09/15/2012 - 8:12am.
Ok, people....where has compassion gone? Where is empathy? Just a couple months over a year after Ryan Dunn died and people are still saying he deserved it, calling him names etc. In that case, everyone should be insulted for dying. How dare you smoke! You deserved cancer! How dare you eat? You deserve a heart attack. How dare you take a flight! You deserve to crash. See, it's stupid and wrong. Yes, he messed up, but just because a death was preventable or accidental doesn't in any way lessen the loss and trauma. Think before you act a fool and be malicious.
Wrong place for compassion and empathy :( You need to go to www.welovepuppiesandkittens.com
I disagree. I've been here for years and seen a lot of nice things.
P.s. Surprised that URL you posted wasn't real. I've seen much stranger ones.
Ok, people....where has compassion gone? Where is empathy? Just a couple months over a year after Ryan Dunn died and people are still saying he deserved it, calling him names etc. In that case, everyone should be insulted for dying. How dare you smoke! You deserved cancer! How dare you eat? You deserve a heart attack. How dare you take a flight! You deserve to crash. See, it's stupid and wrong. Yes, he messed up, but just because a death was preventable or accidental doesn't in any way lessen the loss and trauma. Think before you act a fool and be malicious.
personally, I dislike my first comment with the side issues mentioned, being far from perfect and having had dealt with some. But that guy has gone over the edge, figuratively and literally, too many times.
And wasn't he the same one who also got attacked by a lunatic with a baseball bat on his street? It's too hilarious to even feel sympathy or be concerned.
Mel-Tang's picture
Submitted by Mel-Tang on Fri, 09/14/2012 - 9:50pm.
She's obviously either fat or ugly. Because no heterosexual man would kick a hot woman out of his bed no matter how crazy she was.
Or he's gay.. which is what I've thought for years. Or maybe just very bisexual. He enjoys the butt play a little too much in the Jackass movies.
Submitted by tomahawk on Sat, 09/15/2012 - 2:20am.
You're saying he deserves death, that "cocksucking asshole". If he were an asshole, he would have fucked her right on the floor. But because he's a "cocksucker" he wouldn't - makes perfect sense.
You are still making ZERO sense, and I don't even know what the fuck you're referring to anymore. Try typing without the cock in your mouth.
And "you housewives"? No.
But on behalf of THE housewives, it does not take one not to "get" 45 year old men throwing themselves off buildings in shopping carts - just someone with a functioning brain. Evidently not YOU though.