Why Did Robert Pattinson Forgive Kristen Stewart For Cheating On His Ass?
Short answer: Kristen Stewart's pussy has always been a Ruprick Sanders-free zone.
Most of us were sitting here thinking that RPattz is back with KStew, because the head bitches at Summit Entertainment told him to get back with her for the last Twatlight publicity tour or they'd make sure the only job he'd ever be able to get is head host at a Twilight-themed family restaurant in Forks, Washington. But the truth according to Radar (which is sort of like saying the truth according to your gossiping auntie) is that KStew told RPattz that the only thing Rupert Sanders stuck in her was his tongue and that her down low vampire trap forever belongs to Edward Cullen. Some source who is totally not Kristen Stewart's publicist put it like this to Radar:
"Kristen and Rupert both told their respective partners that they didn't actually have sex. Kristen was absolutely steadfast that she only engaged in several make-out sessions with Rupert but never slept with him. Rob didn't believe her in the beginning but as time wore on he accepted her explanation. Kristen has given Rob passwords to her voicemail and e-mail account to prove she has nothing to hide and will do anything to get his trust back."
Now I'm totally convinced this was nothing but a choreographed stunt. Who in the hell sneaks around just to make out with a dude? Like I'd really go on some covert operation just to suck on a tongue? Making out with a human is almost like licking on strips of raw bacon, so if I wanted to get into that I'd just pull a pack of Oscar Mayer out of the fridge. This dumb fuck didn't even get some peen. If I was RPattz, I'd dump her dim ass for betraying me for some stupid tongue. If you're going to fuck me over at least fuck me over by getting fucked over if you know what I mean.
But don't listen to me. Because when one of my past boyfriends told me he cheated on my ass, my only questions were, "Okay, but how big was the peen and do you have pictures?"
Here's KStew going to a restaurant in Paris called La Fidelite ("Faithful" in English). She makes it so easy.
For publicity of course.
I'm pretty sure she sold me size 12.5 kicks at the Foot Locker in the Del Amo Mall.
Submitted by Mani6 on Sat, 09/29/2012 - 9:05am.
And the password is "Twiharder".
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LMAO!!
The Rob and Kristen publicity team deserve an F minus for such a lame PR stunt. For a while I actually believed they were in a relationship, but this publicity driven affair, has made it obvious that they were never in a romantic relationship. It was all for PR.
I believe they are back together, just look how smug (more so than usual) this bitch is lately. She is actually smiling/grinning. She must think RPatz is a fucking fool.
U-huh, of course she didn't of course of f*ckin course...
_____________________对您的和平_____________________
It's so cold in the D....
Eating IS cheating!
That being said...
*publicity stunt*
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Facebook: Triston Negreaux
http://www.myspace.com/triston
ask me how to subscribe to Heaux Confessionals©
And the password is "Twiharder".
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dressing like an NFL referee isn't going to help, Kristen.
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God don't like ugly.
knee-jerk reaction...this trick's anorexic.
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"Physical violence is the least of my priorities." - Drunken Albertan
"Everyone is excited! MILLIONS ARE CELEBRATING!
I'm so sick of this stupid franchise.
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bwahaha!
What do you mean?? I threw a party to celebrate my joy at their reunion!!
"Everyone is excited." Good lord.
I find them both just kind of...icky. Isn't she like...the top grossing (no pun intended! Well, maybe a little...) actress? Yet she can't afford shampoo?
And I agree that oral is really intimate!
It is a complete publicity stunt...WHO CARES ?
It astonishes me when people call her pretty -- she has a pointy chin that's gonna look like Jay Leno's in a decade, beaver teeth, no lips, and hair and skin that a million other girls also have. She's the most completely ordinary-looking person ever, and nothing highlights it like when they try to doll/dress her up. That's why they keep doing that stupid-ass hairdo on her - you wouldn't notice her hair otherwise.
That's why she was cast as "Bawla Wan" (as one snarker puts it). All the plain, unremarkable girls can feel like THEY can snag a hot rich Byronic dude without putting out, despite having no brains and looks.
And you know, that's okay as a fantasy. Problem is, these little idiots think that sort of thing is for real.
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I'm here to kick ass and drink tea. And I'm all out of tea.
The nastiest thing about this is that these lying attention whores didn't think about the kids involved, who had to hear about their father going south on a girl on the internet and are probably teased for it in school. Anything for attention.
Submitted by Whamo
Phew! That's a relief
She looks very pretty in the pics above, if only she'd learn the art of the half-smile!
Still don't believe this fakeness and if she did have a fling with Rupert then he definitely banged her. Just sayin'.
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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Submitted by frenchflies on Fri, 09/28/2012 - 4:07pm.
That makes perfect sense because Rupert's wife would totally tear up the family home, and visit a divorce lawyer, drop her ring and hit the catwalk to resurrect her career, for a few kisses.
Robert isn't the pit sniffer. Rupert was caught enjoying her post-gym stench in the Mini Cooper of lust. They were together for a LONG time before being caught.
LMFAO
I'm not one to give kudos for the sake of kudos unless it's fucking do, but, your rant killed. There are so many funnily intelligent observations on your post that almost made me pee muh-sef! (dont't judge an has a strong prostrate..erm...I meant... strong girl peen (gurl powah). lolz
Please, nobuddy quote me on my current shitastic few randomn thoughts. I currently have a huge right thigh of pure (I'm talkin' skurry purple) dumbass idjit bruisin' Susin' from attempting some very basic gymnastic moves that I should have [key word 'should have', ol' lady] warmed up for. But, nooooooooo. I fuckin' made a mockery of myself.
Ugh. lolz
Eh. Life begins at wtfever.
Cheatin' is cheatin'. For me it is about respect...if you bored, not lovin' my beef curtains no more, cool. Just be noble enough to walk away before gettin' action. damn. is it that complicated?
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I've got ten bucks and me and dirty eddie are staying out all weekend! - Rob Pue (thank you BBitch and Sweetas)
The difficult brown?! I think we're all done here. -MK
I personally find cunninglingus very, very intimate. Maybe moreso than intercourse.
Her thighs are so skinny. : /
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The poster formerly known as SnowOwl, formerly known as Nightowl!
If anyone does not believe this is just a stunt for Twatlight, then they are completely stupid.
Submitted by CashewTime on Fri, 09/28/2012 - 3:54pm.
Oh Whamo,
Always rooting for the underdog. yesterday it's Goopy and now THIS. Where does that leave the rest of us? * sobbing for my incredibly, inexplicably gorgeous face*
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Lol, Ctime there is ALWAYS room for a beautiful face in my world and I'm sure I would sing your praises as well if I were lucky enough to see your pretty face:D
I'm sorry, I've said it before and I will say it again, the Kstew Rpatz "relationship" is nothing but total PR fuckery. No one would get back together under these circumstances. Unless that shit wasn't real to begin with and there's a whole film franchise riding on that shit.
That makes perfect sense because Rupert's wife would totally tear up the family home, and visit a divorce lawyer, drop her ring and hit the catwalk to resurrect her career, for a few kisses.
Robert isn't the pit sniffer. Rupert was caught enjoying her post-gym stench in the Mini Cooper of lust. They were together for a LONG time before being caught.
Submitted by chinlee3 on Fri, 09/28/2012 - 3:44pm.
Kristen and RPatz had actually never had sex either.
Exactly! Nothing to get excited about in the first place! :-P
So why aren't Twihards picking up on all this? Theories, conspiracy or otherwise? Could Twatlight be an Illuminati plot? The hell with Lady Caca; I want to see somebody investigate this mess.
Submitted by Nanners on Fri, 09/28/2012 - 2:21pm.
Not only is this a stunt, it's not even a sexy stunt. It's totally high school. "We just made out. Please take me back!" Fuck all of them with garlic.
"Fuck all of them with garlic!"
BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAA!!!
When I saw MK's post title, I asked the same question. All a stunt. All fake. Nothing to forgive. Nothing to be sorry for. OK, except for taking up space in our brains.
Oh Whamo,
Always rooting for the underdog. yesterday it's Goopy and now THIS. Where does that leave the rest of us? * sobbing for my incredibly, inexplicably gorgeous face*
I will be so glad when this movie is out and we can be done hearing about this fake relationship once and for all.
Kristen and RPatz had actually never had sex either.
Submitted by CindyC on Fri, 09/28/2012 - 3:10pm.
and just in time too....
[Blind Gossip] Everyone is so excited that these two lovebirds are back together! Sorry, but that kind of naivete is going to come back and bite you on the butt. Why? Because their reunion is both fake and temporary.
______________________________________________
Everyone is excited! MILLIONS ARE CELEBRATING!
I'm so sick of this stupid franchise.
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Submitted by P.T.Bull on Tue, 09/25/2012 - 10:33pm.
"This bitch is crazier than a pillowcase full of clear-level scientologist possums."
Submitted by Lisbet459 on Fri, 09/28/2012 - 3:29pm.
Submitted by Dog on Fri, 09/28/2012 - 3:23pm.
For the love of God, would someone please introduce this scuzzball to a bar of soap and some Pantene?
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The most galling bit is that the dye job, the clothes and the makeup most likely cost several grand. Possibly more. And I still want to introduce her to a nice hairdresser.
^^^^^
She is a sullen, foul-mouthed, insufficiently-bathed, uneducated woman with questionable morals. Why the House of Balenciaga (or any designer) wants to be associated with her is beyond me. To hit her age demographic? Excuse me but how many people her age can afford Balenciaga???
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www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
I loathe and despise all this Twitard crap and Sparkles must be a real moron to believe that this twat didn't totally have hot monkey sex with the director. I just don't give a shit about any of this and I want these two twats to go away. He's ugly (and obviously stupid) and she's a grumpy snotnosed bitch.
"why did robert pattison forgive kristen stewart for cheating on him?"
she dabbed some peen juice behind her ears and became irresistable to him...
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"The thing women have yet to learn is nobody gives you power. You just take it." --
Roseanne Barr
They are full court pressing this wackmance, aren't they. The PR team must be students of Joseph Goebbels. You know, people will believe a lie if you repeat it enough (paraphrasing)
Submitted by Dog on Fri, 09/28/2012 - 3:23pm.
For the love of God, would someone please introduce this scuzzball to a bar of soap and some Pantene?
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The most galling bit is that the dye job, the clothes and the makeup most likely cost several grand. Possibly more. And I still want to introduce her to a nice hairdresser.
Submitted by vsminimoose on Fri, 09/28/2012 - 3:03pm.
At the right angle, when she's done up I think she looks gorgeous.
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She may be a sour puss but I've always thought that as well minimoose, I never understood how people call her ugly, she has very pretty eyes too!
Really, MK? More of this? This Twihard shit has got to stop. Nobody cares what Patstew or whatever does or will do.It's irritating to even see this trick. She's everywhere, so you shouldn't be covering her/him/it. You are better than that.
Isn't there some homosexual 3 headed cow or something that you can cover?
Thunder only happens when it's rainin
Players only love you when they're playin
For the love of God, would someone please introduce this scuzzball to a bar of soap and some Pantene?
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www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
They must think we're ALL stupid..... these two are as appealing as cold oatmeal with cat shit on top.
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"You wait. They gonna get everybody on twitter, facebook, doing everythin' online and then they gonna pull the PLUG and we all gonna be FUCKED!"
It's just good to see some of the replacement refs finally getting some time off to have fun.
and just in time too....
[Blind Gossip] Everyone is so excited that these two lovebirds are back together! Sorry, but that kind of naivete is going to come back and bite you on the butt. Why? Because their reunion is both fake and temporary.
We told you before that they their original coupling took place in a publicist’s office. They became good friends, but nothing more. If they look like they are in love, it is only because they are actors. If they can convince you on screen, they can convince you off screen.
They are now reuniting as a “couple” to promote their new film. The success of that film with enable both of them to command top dollar for subsequent films, after which they will be parting once again. Their breakup is scheduled to occur in 2013 after the DVD release.
Wasn't looking too good, but I was feeling real well.
Submitted by ISprainedMyUvula on Fri, 09/28/2012 - 2:33pm.
Ew, I bet Rupert's the type of guy who begs women to let him go down on them with the added creepy bonus of, "You don't have to do anything back".
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I won't lie to you, that doesn't sound all that bad.
At the right angle, when she's done up I think she looks gorgeous.
Same for him. They both need makeup, good lighting but when they look good...they look goooooood. Don't hit me.
Submitted by chaka1 on Fri, 09/28/2012 - 2:49pm.
Thank God I was not famous when I was younger. I was kinda slutty and I couldn't imagine all of my indiscretions making international news. There are several things I have gotten away with that my man will NEVER know...
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Well, in fairness, you probably never did them in daylight in a public place where you knew you'd be photographed, and all the other shit I don't need to repeat.
And, if you did, show us the pix, kthnxbye.
I have two things very clear:
1. Everything was and is a circus to sell Twilight.
2. A 41 year old man not risks his marriage for a few kisses. She needs to clean up her image because the world has seen that she is a whore. And this "reconciliation" is based on bullshit. She is in Paris and Rob is traveling around California. PRsten.
Aspirations: When you are known more for getting your cooch munched in a car than possessing any tangible talent.
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Dear Totally, Like, Real Couple on the Internet:
Stop.
Digging.
Yours,
Someone who's not sure if she should be enjoying a slow motion wrecking of careers (because, let's face it, there almost certainly was no relationship to wreck) quite this much.
He forgave her because he's not gonna quit this cash cow relationship! no way, no how.
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Submitted by P.T.Bull on Tue, 09/25/2012 - 10:33pm.
"This bitch is crazier than a pillowcase full of clear-level scientologist possums."
ubmitted by annobanano on Fri, 09/28/2012 - 2:36pm.
Submitted by M.E. on Fri, 09/28/2012 - 2:30pm.
O'RLY?
So, if I step out of my marriage, but only blow some dude, I didn't cheat then right?
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I'm not sure how that works but if you'd like to test that theory I'll volunteer, just let me know:D
Well somebody's lying here but I don't care enough to figure out who. (These two are boring, the whatshisname director and the anorexia he is married to are boring, and Twilight sucks)
Either the whole relationship and all drama connected to it are fake, or she's lying about not getting some dick.
MK is right though, what is the point of cheating if you don't get laid?
Have any of you slores ever gotten in trouble for KISSING?