Shocker Of The Century: Lindsay Lohan Didn't Show Up To Work Yesterday
Patrick Bateman's bloody corpse is lying on Lindsay Lohan's driveway today, because he turned the chainsaw on himself after losing his psychotic mind from listening to hear dribble out fake excuse after fake excuse for why she didn't show up to work. Hollywood's forever employee of the month was supposed to show up to a studio to do work on that straight-to-public access, soft-core porn movie The Canyons, and when she didn't punch her time card in, Bret Easton Ellis left her the above note on Twitter. I know, can you believe that Lindsay Lohan is an ungrateful, unreliable piece of back alley trash mess? I don't believe it! Next, you're going to tell me that those pictures of Robert Pattinson licking Rupert Sanders' dried saliva off of Kristen Stewart's lips aren't one hundred percent natural and staged. What to believe!
The last time Lindsay Lohan didn't show up to a job, she blamed it on "walking pneumonia." I wonder what she'll blame it on this time? I'm going to put half of my chips on "Ah I had 24-hour cancer!" and the other half of my chips on "Ah I fell into a secret portal in my wardrobe, traveled to a different world and had to battle the White Witch!" (aka took too much Special K)
I didn't know what ADR stood for, so I looked it up and apparently it's just dialogue dubbing. Why did they need the real Lindsay Lohan to do voice dubbing for Lindsay Lohan? They should've just ran outside and pulled some 50-something homeless hobo off the street. Then they should've made him chain smoke crushed nails rolled in sandpaper and inject lidocaine into his tongue until he got Lindsay Lohan's signature slur down. The hobo would've done a better job and the sound guys wouldn't have to worry about their watches getting stolen.
Here's the consummate professional casing a jewelry store in Beverly Hills the other day.
I was furious that right after I made a donation to this movie via KickStarter, they announced that they had cast Lindsay Lohan. I tried to get my money back, but they wouldn't refund it.
I was also a loyal follower of BEE on Twitter until this shit happened. I dropped him immediately. Unfucking believable. Fuck you Ellison.
You are a stupid cunt!
Submitted by Talkdirty2me on Fri, 10/19/2012 - 2:27am.
just saw this now. glad to hear that you are a survivor!
and thank you for the kind words.
***********************************************
Then we’ll grow up take our clothes off
And you’ll remind me that I wanted you to kiss me
When we find some time alone
And then we can do anything we want
Too busy promoting Lice and Dung? Well them maybe she shouldn't have signed on to do the Canyon's, since her schedule is so fucking busy.
OMG. How low on the totum pole of PR people do you need to be to continue on as her rep instead of throwing your hands in the air and say fuck this bitch.
first, if your name is Bret Easton Ellis, you damn well ought to call yourself Bret Ellis and lose that Easton shit.
Secondly, Wednesday is the drunken Irish Friday, everybody knows that you don't show up on Thursday.
from Eonline " Lohan's rep, Steve Honig, tells E! News exclusively, "Lindsay is busy right now promoting her new film Liz & Dick and [Canyons work] had to be rescheduled. That's it."
There was a "and you think your job sucks.." email joke going around with a pic of a guy standing under an elephant's arse catching its dung.. I think we found a worse job.
I'm surprised this guy's still around. How exhausting having to spin crack tales all the live long fucking day.
I think Bret Easton Ellis knew what he was in for and that he loves it. He's always written about sordid, filthy, whorish people with severe mental problems so Lindsay's like a character from his books. I think he's enjoying this shit and the notoriety she brings. Hiring her is just another way to shock people.
I thought that bulimia caused swelling of the saliva glands which is what gives that chipmunk look to the face which in turn gives the bulimic the notion they are fat when they look into the mirror. Whenever I see someone who is skinny but with fat face that is what I suppose to be the cause. Agreed she got that plus the drugs and booze. Killer combination.
BULLSHIT on bulemia. I was an anorexic bulemic for 12 years and I never had any sort of bloat or double chin. The bloat and double chin are from alcohol mixed with the drugs she takes.
What exactly did he expect when he hired this dumb cunt? Professionalism? Whoever hires Hohan deserves whatever they get.
Well FreakGeek, you guessed it: Lohan has not yet responded to E! News' request for comment. A source close to the actress, however, tells Gossip Cop, "She did not miss anything."
You must be physic.
Gee, and this could have been her Oscar winning role.
~~~~~~~*******~~~~~~~*******~~~~~~~*******
“Sometimes the questions are complicated and the answers are simple.”
― Dr. Seuss
When are people just going to stop hiring her for shit? It's not like she has massive talent that overshadows her mental issues and her inability to show up. She's a fucking wreck...what's the big draw?
Ya know, when I dont plan to go to work, I at least extend the courtesy to my office and let them know I wont be there. Really, it takes 30 seconds, bitch, and would save you a shit ton of really bad press. Fucktard.
"My pug is smarter than your honor student."
If she is bulimic, as some other posters are suggesting, maybe that's why her teefs were so messed up?
********************
"Brows should not look like a condiment!" -MK
she looks like Anne of Green Gables on crack.
why didn't she show up? he asks..bahahaha! Are you fucking serious? What in the hell did you think you were getting? A professional? She's a pro alright, but not the kind you thought you hired you thilly, thilly boy..
She'll have some lame excuse for not showing up at her own funeral in the near future.
Well, who didn't see this coming? LMFPO at all all the comments.
What a crack head. She never disappoints* - always bringing the crackie antics.
* unless you expect her to work or tell the truth.
Submitted by Anita Bidet on Fri, 10/19/2012 - 3:36am.
when she stops showing up at her john's hotel rooms then she'll be in trouble
I wish some investigative reporter would do an in-depth report on whether she was an actual pussy peddler like Victoria Siversted or whatever her name is. Let's expose blowhan for the actual whore she is (if she's selling the pudding for cash money) and end the idiotic hollywood pretense of her being "poor little lindsay who has problems; let's hire her anyway".
--------------------------------------------
"Dammit, Pam, I've seen that, and now I can't unsee it. There's not enough liquor or therapy in the world to help me forget that..." - Archer
But Lindsay is a serious actress now. Her partying days are behind her and she spends all of her evenings at home reading all the scripts that keep pouring in.
What a fucking waste of time and assault to my eyeballs. This shouldn't even be news worthy because the pos has no work ethic or sense of obligation even when it's her loser friends trying to cut her a break.
I don't care what this Bitch does anymore as long as she doesn't spawn with Carrot Top.. That would be one freaky looking baby.
when she stops showing up at her john's hotel rooms then she'll be in trouble
P.S Parissucksliterally, I'm sorry you were sick and I'm glad you're better now :)
***************************************
"If you're going through hell, keep going" ~ Winston Churchill
I don't deny she has a substance abuse problem but I almost died from my battle with bulimia and lost the majority of my upper teeth and I can tell you multiple people commented on my face having that chin and bloat. Regardless of how it's happening for her she is going to pay for it in the long term. I pity her for her lack of support and love. Without my family I'd be dead. She has nothing and seems bent on self destruction
***************************************
"If you're going through hell, keep going" ~ Winston Churchill
Is that Michael Jr? He looks different.
Submitted by Talkdirty2me on Fri, 10/19/2012 - 1:36am.
She's also quite obviously bulimic, that is where that double chin and cheek bloat is coming from
------------------------------
oh, that is bullshit. I was bulimic for 8 years in my 20's and never had a double chin or looked bloated. That is from DRUGS and BOOZE.
***********************************************
Then we’ll grow up take our clothes off
And you’ll remind me that I wanted you to kiss me
When we find some time alone
And then we can do anything we want
Try getting a reservation at Dorsia now, Lindsay Lohan! Guess its off to Tex-Arkana for you.
Green is Good "the Cracken" I'm dying!!! Lol.
This girl is coasting on the fumes of a childhood career no longer even visible in the rear view.
She's also quite obviously bulimic, that is where that double chin and cheek bloat is coming from. She has so much disorder in her life and no one to turn to to straighten her out, it's appalling
***************************************
"If you're going through hell, keep going" ~ Winston Churchill
BEE was a huge supporter of hers. Eat those words now, you fucking asshole. You get what you pay for.
***********************************************
Then we’ll grow up take our clothes off
And you’ll remind me that I wanted you to kiss me
When we find some time alone
And then we can do anything we want
yep, this is a shocker. pretty much everything she has been hired or expected to show up for- she has failed to appear for.
the only thing that truly amazes me is that ANYONE is willing to hire her!!!
Maybe she had to rush off to the campaign trail, fucking Republicans........
Ummm...weren't the producers of Lez and Dick supposed to do ADR??? HELLO......
"This world is a whore."
FoXXXy♥♥♥ How you doing darling!?
Ah, but the best part is that he actually fancies himself to "be" Patrick Bateman, lol Bitch PLEASE, you WISH! HAHAHA ;D
•-•-•-•-•-•
"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
░░░░♬♣☺♪◘☼♥♫•ღ♩♦≈❀♠♡░░░░
You won't believe what happen to me Wednesday . I work a shitty recession job at a store in West Hollywood and Lindsay Lohan came in with her assistant. I helped them and after I thought they left I started loudly talking shit about her trying to steal and being drunk to my coworkers.Then I turned around and Lindsay's assistant was right behind me waiting to buy 1.75L bottle of Ketel One vodka and 3 packs of parliament light cigarettes which could not have possibly been for lindsay because such a pure a delicate flower would never touch alcohol or tobacco. She was pissed and snitched on me just because I was pointing and laughing at Lindsay through the window. Its cool though because my supervisor was laughing just as hard as I was.
Ha. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA.
I guess Ellis thought he was so wonderful that Blohan would actually bheave for him. HAHAHAHAHA. That's what you get for hiring her!
*********
I'm here to kick ass and drink tea. And I'm all out of tea.
"Less than Zero" = Lindsay Lohan = Ellis Redoux. why is there still shock, awe and confusion?
/too cynical
ETA: Submitted by salacious on Thu, 10/18/2012 - 11:36pm
/needs moist towelettes whenever i see you. Hi Sal!!
"Voodoo is forgetting who's the john and who's the whore." MK, 3/20/12
LOL, Loopy, Easton Ellis so deserves it. That guy's annoying as shit! He knew what he was getting into when he hired her, lmao that Lohan of all people didn't follow through! He knows this and yet he thought the name recognition would give him more press, rotfl! *too much glee, I know!*
•-•-•-•-•-•
"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
░░░░♬♣☺♪◘☼♥♫•ღ♩♦≈❀♠♡░░░░
You want a narcissistic, delusional, unprofessional pain-in-ass; you hire the Cracken. Done and done.
Well, the talk on Twitter is her and Gavin flew back to NYC yesterday.....the POS will make the excuse that she had to get back to NYC for her court date, which isn't until the 23rd or she had to go back for her interview with Barbra W. Most likey she tried to get extra money for her time and when she was told No. She hightailed it out of town. Because as always that POS cares only about herself and she couldn't be bothered!
Submitted by loopygorilla on Thu, 10/18/2012 - 10:57pm.
im sorry but you hired hohan, dont act all surprised when she doesnt turn up for work.
this isnt the first time it has happened, if you hire hohan, expect unprofessionalism.
_______________________________________________
...amen loopy...you took the words right out from under my left a** cheek...
...what's really sad is that there are so many hard working, talented, and responsible folks out there literally dying for a job...any job...
...I've been willing to cut Lohan some slack because of her pathologically screwed up parentage, but she's a big girl now...
________________________________________________
...'...It's just a matter of common courtesy...you come in the house, you wipe your wheels!...'...
beauty, charismatic, stunning, old hollywood glamour, charming, elegant. what more could i say? wow just wow...
im sorry but you hired hohan, dont act all surprised when she doesnt turn up for work.
this isnt the first time it has happened, if you hire hohan, expect unprofessionalism.
if you hire hohan expecting meryl streep, i will take that dildo out of john travolta's ass and slap your face with it.
It's Dr. Phil's fault.
I'ld be more surprised if Blowhan showed-up at all.
Lilo is the crack that keeps on cracking
Bret Easton Ellis is a total blowhard, though. He has an ongoing Twitter feud with David Foster Wallace. Who happens to be, you know, dead.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/09/06/bret-easton-ellis_n_1862233.htm...
Get a life!
_______________________________________________
Submitted by P.T.Bull on Tue, 09/25/2012 - 10:33pm.
"This bitch is crazier than a pillowcase full of clear-level scientologist possums."
People just need to stop hiring her. She's a piece of trash.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Wait until the bitch finds the family of wombats living in her chocha." - MK
Oh my God, you guys! I'm sure the script and dialogue are so profound that without proper dubbing this movie is now going to be a total disaster! Bitch, please. Your shit was fucked from day one, don't go crying about it now!
To Cat Scratch...
Yeah. Just when I think I'm a godless, worthless shitbatg asshole, here comes Bret Easton Ellis to make me feel so much better about myself.
The difference is that he thinks he somehow has something Important To Say. You know, because he grew up rich, white, Prep Skool and a dude.
Me, I'm waiting to hear her say "It's a setup". That's my favorite blowhan excuse of all time.
Has anyone actually figured out what she was doing yesterday, when she should have been doing her dubs in studio? Odds are 5:1 that she was either shopping in Beverly Hills (why the fuck didn't she just stay on the east coast & infect only them with her idiocy) or was sleeping off the after affects of a until 5am party she'd been to the night before...
--------------------------------------------
"Dammit, Pam, I've seen that, and now I can't unsee it. There's not enough liquor or therapy in the world to help me forget that..." - Archer
Who's the moron? Lohan or the person who hires her and expects her to show up and actually do work?
Waiting for the "everyone is lying" "everyone is against me"....those are her standard excuses. Her side business must have gone well in NYC...she wouldn't have joo-ree shopping money otherwise. And why is she staying in a hotel? Thought she had a place in LA?