Robert Pattinson Is Selling Cologne Now
Brad Pitt is no longer the only millionaire hobo hawking bottles of stank on the stroll, because E! News says that Dior is putting $12 million in Robert Pattinson's Styrofoam donation cup for his services as the new face of their men's fragrances. RPattz, seen here at an event sponsored by Gucci (TRAITOR!), will put his face on Dior Homme ads for the next three years. $12 million is too much money, but I'm sure Dior will make it all back. They're just assuming that all the crazed, horny Twihards will storm Macy's and buy every bottle of that crap. Then they'll attach their vaginas to an IV drip full of Dior Homme cologne, so their coochies are always gargling with the essence of RPattz.
E! didn't really have that many details, but some source tells them that RPattz "likes the brand." More like RPattz likes the MONAAAAAAAAAAY.
We should all be grateful that we're living in a time when two people (read: KStew and RPattz) who probably smell like butt gravy and tonsil stones are getting millions of dollars to sell perfume. But seriously, everyone is always making jokes about how RPattz probably hasn't stood under a shower head in years, but I bet he has. I bet he showers daily and I bet afterward he covers his skin with pit cheese imported from France and makes his team of hired homeless men fart all over his body, so he always smells like he just woke up from a 10-hour nap in a Port-A-Potty. It takes a lot of time and money to look that dirty.
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Really that has been so rude,Perfumes are really mean to be for the whole too.
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IMO there is nothing attractive about this guy. He's a fug guy with money just like Timberlake and DiCaprio.
12 million??? What the fuck is wrong with people!!!
He does not look good here and I'm being very nice and generous when I write "does not look good".
I think he and K-Stew are getting paid while they can since they know that the "Twilight" train has reached the end of the line. It's all Team Katniss now, so them shilling perfume/makeup is an attempt to get-it-while-they're-tepid. After the flopping of his Cronenberg and her "edgy" projects, they must be quite nervous about future "star vehicles".
In contrast Tay Tay and K-Lutz seem as smiley-faced/giddy as ever. Homeboys know it's better to "work it" by being happy in the public eye than to worry/scowl/brood.
i will hit RPattz even he smells like shit, he is HOT!
Karma is a Bitch
Submitted by beeharbour on Tue, 10/30/2012 - 8:27pm.
Are there other dire medical conditions that cause a person's jaw to expand in length and width and make their eyes appear to be further apart than they were?
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I think that beard fade is creating some weird illusion. Itreminds me of my neighbor's old black lab that had mange. Light patch here, dark patch there.
Are we sure this guy doesn't have fetal-alcohol syndrome? He's JUST. NOT. HOT.
(kiss this)--------------------------->>> (_!_)
Submitted by mike on Tue, 10/30/2012 - 2:13pm.
Folks, they're not creating a new scent for him. They're using his face to sell their existing male scents.
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Of course not! Because the smell of body odor and butt crack is so hard to reproduce.
Whose brilliant idea was this? Get a guy who looks like he smells foul to hawk your fragrances. That executive should be shown the door.
I can't figure out what has happened to this guy's face. When Twilight first came out and his mug started appearing everywhere, I distinctly remember thinking that he was a very handsome young man and perfectly understanding why people were going ga-ga over him although I was not particularly doing so myself. He looked really good then and now...not so much. I don't think he's done anything to himself but time and nature are doing unfortunate things to the bottom half of his face to the extent he has become pretty homely and has a "developmentally challenged" look these days. Has he got agromegaly or something? Are there other dire medical conditions that cause a person's jaw to expand in length and width and make their eyes appear to be further apart than they were?
"A man can look at a rhinoceros and still be able to think." Charles Fort
Makes perfect sense to hire someone that looks like they have almost non-existent hygiene habits to be the face of a men's fragrance line.
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Shiitake happens...
Eau de la Douche, indeed.
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Submitted by P.T.Bull on Tue, 09/25/2012 - 10:33pm.
"This bitch is crazier than a pillowcase full of clear-level scientologist possums."
This ugly fucker.
Ugh, whenever I see RPatz, I get a whiff of pure dirty underarm with a top note of greasy scalp.
*shivers*
This lucky, flat-faced motherfucker. I don't find him charming at all. No talent, thinks he can act but really he can't. Not to mention CUCKOLDED. But I guess the Twihards are gonna buy the perfumes for their boyfriends so they can pretend they're having sex with RPatz.
*shivers once again*
oh he has a really wide face doesn't he, like he should be a professional wrestler; he already has the nose that looks broken and probably cauliflower ears. ;>
(O_@)
Art: Now they know that we know that they know that we know.
Gracias, Lucifer!
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"If French is the language of love, then Spanish is the language of badassery!" -MK
It's like those Febreze commercials where the people are blindfolded and surrounded by garbage.
Those twihards are going to be pouring this stuff on rags and inhaling it like chloroform. This could be a good thing.
Submitted by bridgjones on Tue, 10/30/2012 - 2:49pm.
I think he knows the work is going to go as soon as this last piece of shit hits theaters. He's making his last big money grab, then he can say that he's not getting parts because "He's picky."
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I think you're right. None of his (or Bella Whatsherface's) non-Twilight movies have been big hits. It seems like the Twitards only care about these actors in their Twilight roles.
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"You will drink the black sperm of my vengeance!" Beyond the Valley of the Dolls
Submitted by bridgjones on Tue, 10/30/2012 - 2:52pm.
He's got really big hips for a dude. He has even admitted it during some Moviefone interview with Reese Witherspoon. He said he liked wearing period costumes because he had "child bearing hips" and they covered them up. I bet he looks really weird naked.
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Ha! Yes I think Lainey Gossip refers to them as "mothering hips".
That's a very expensive chardonnay you're not drinking...
Submitted by Hekki on Tue, 10/30/2012 - 1:55pm.
Genius marketing. Every Twitard will buy it, no matter what it smells like. Of course, all those cats might not enjoy having it dabbed behind their ears, but that's not the marketing team's problem, is it?
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comment of the day^^^ lmfao!!
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i can smell your cologne from here its called Jealousy By ....... You
Submitted by DianaDeath on Tue, 10/30/2012 - 2:57pm.
I'd sooner fap myself to death than be touched by this apestoso.
Hahaha, I bet that was a tough choice. I enjoy your posts.
So, apparently we think he smells like he rolled in an extra nasty landfill after not bathing for a few months? It's like spraying air freshner after taking a dump. Crap and roses together smells worse than crap alone.
I'd sooner fap myself to death than be touched by this apestoso.
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"If French is the language of love, then Spanish is the language of badassery!" -MK
The Nutty Madam is going be all over this cologne.
He's got really big hips for a dude. He has even admitted it during some Moviefone interview with Reese Witherspoon. He said he liked wearing period costumes because he had "child bearing hips" and they covered them up. I bet he looks really weird naked.
Oh my god, I can smell him through the screen.
And no, that's not an endorsement.
I think he knows the work is going to go as soon as this last piece of shit hits theaters. He's making his last big money grab, then he can say that he's not getting parts because "He's picky."
Damnit. Can people please stop giving these twihard whores money so they'll go away. Please?
Submitted by Sweetas on Tue, 10/30/2012 - 2:05pm.
Next they'll have an overflowing, fly-covered dumpster hocking perfume.
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This made me giggle like a spaz at my desk. Now that's a spokesperson I can trust.
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"You will drink the black sperm of my vengeance!" Beyond the Valley of the Dolls
Submitted by Twat Muffin on Tue, 10/30/2012 - 2:27pm.
You'll notice that was the only one I asked about.
:)
´¨¨) -:¦:-
¸.•´ .•´¨¨)
(¸¸.•´ ..•´ but what do I know?-:¦:-
-:¦:- (¸¸.•´*
how dare you -- I have no idea what snot smells like, but I was trying to throw out anything related to mucous, LOL!
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"I'm from Chicago, bitch!"
Submitted by RichBitch: "Are the perfume peeps having a comp to outdo each other with the hoboiest celeb endorsement? That can be the only reason why celebrated body odor devotees like Pitt, Stew and Patts are getting these gigs. Unless it's their reps subtle way of getting them to smell better of course!"
Hahaha! Who else is hobo-ier? Pete Doherty, Greasy Bear, HoHan, Olivier Martinez, Courtney Love. Those are the other scuzzy candidates.
As much as I hate Kim K and Paris Hilton, they always look clean and polished. They have hair and makeup done, and usually a thought-out ensemble. I might despise their personal style but they care about looking presentable.
Folks, they're not creating a new scent for him. They're using his face to sell their existing male scents.
*braids wattle hairs and reenacts Rapunzel*
He's probably growing the facial hair out because KStew hates it.
This guy is so funny-looking! I saw him on the Daily Show and was surprised by how likable he was, so I can't hate on the guy, but he is a goofy-looking mofo. So homely he's cute, I guess.
Hahaha IG GO TO YOUR ROOM!! ;p Seriously, a little FACE stubble is sexy, but tidy that shit up.
There is a guy I work with who keeps his hair really short and isn't a bad looking guy. EXCEPT his neck hair is longer than what's on his head. *shudder* I so want to sneak up behind him with trimmers - I can barely control myself lol
Guess we'll have to wait a little longer for his career to die.
Next they'll have an overflowing, fly-covered dumpster hocking perfume.
Submitted by Twat Muffin on Tue, 10/30/2012 - 2:03pm.
What does snot smell like?
´¨¨) -:¦:-
¸.•´ .•´¨¨)
(¸¸.•´ ..•´ but what do I know?-:¦:-
-:¦:- (¸¸.•´*
Dior is pretty huge. And he's recognizable from Paris to São Paulo. I just think of who it could be who I'd cringe at, so he doesn't bother me.
What -- $12 million? Who whips such an astronomical amount of their ass? Why not a more piddly, though still obscene, amount like $4 million? Fuck my life. And to a guy who look so unsanitary. He looks like he smells like a combo of swamp ass, dick cheese, B.O., dried-up urine, belly button cheese, foot odor, ball sweat, hair grease, snot, dried mucous, ear wax & dingle berries.
*Twat loading gun*
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"I'm from Chicago, bitch!"
Submitted by Sweetas on Tue, 10/30/2012 - 2:00pm.
Shave your neck bitch!! Gross.
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Ahahahaaaa, are you my mother? *runs to the mirror screaming OH NO NOT AGAIN* :))
I just read a birth announcement for a "Renesmee Romea". Here in Germany.
Twilight really fucks you up in the brains.
Shave your neck bitch!! Gross.