Friday, January 25th 2013

Afternoon Crumbs

Hilary Duff got some trout lips to go with her chipmunk cheeks. I think that's enough for the government to declare her face a wildlife sanctuary - Celebitchy

JLo brings her blow-up doll sexy face and Baby Casper to the Parker premiere - Lainey Gossip

My weekend plans involve printing out all these pictures, spreading them all over floor and then rolling around naked in them for a few hours. I welcome the paper cuts - The Berry 

Future headline: Bryan Singer replaces January Jones with an ice cube in a blonde wig - The Superficial 

Ashley Greene wears leggings while checking her Google Alert for "Ashley Greene wears leggings" - Hollywood Tuna 

No. I repeat, No. - Drunken Stepfather 

The 2013 Coachella lineup needs more Charo, Pia Zadora, La Toya Jackson, Majela Zeze Diamond and La Tigresa Del Oriente - Towleroad

That BluePrint juice bottle tells me that Emmy Rossum must be smiling to get through the pain of holding in the non-stop wet shits - Popoholic

Nicole Sullivan thinks MiserAlba lied about how easily the pregnancy weight just slipped off of her body - ICYDK

Today's iCant moment brought to you by Ashton Kutcher as Steve Jobs - IDLYITW

Pussies are just like us, they're scared of Nicki Minaj's face - OMG Blog

Jennifer Lawrence and a gutter ass wig in W Magazine - Hollywood Rag 

RiRi keeping it demure and refined as always - Just Jared

TGIF! Here's Orlando Bloom's nipple plates - Popsugar

Sharon Stone is looking hot! (I really thought this was Sharon Stone) - Boy Culture

Irony overdose alert! Cracked out Courtney Love says that Gwen Stefani owes her entire career to Gavin Rossdale - Jezebel

Well, Honey Boo Boo Chile IS the Shirley Temple of this generation - Gawker

Sofia Vergara and her coke-loving, orgy-having twat sack of a fiancé might break up soon - I'm Not Obsessed

It's good to know that Leelee Sobieski wore a skirt with the same print as the lining paper my abuelita used to line her dresser drawers - SOW

FINALLY! The APP and Size Queen Gods have heard our prayers - Manhunt Daily  

Posted by: Michael K
ImpertinentVixen's picture

This pic somehow makes me want to go fishing....for trout.

Daniee's picture

First come chiclet veneers, then the bloated lip. Fuck ppl, give it up! There's only enough room in a mouth for one dick and just so much teeth and lips.

christine the hoff's picture

ehhh.

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You might find The Hoff in a bar
or in Germany with a guitar.
He might do a dance
in shiny black pants,
but at least he can talk to his car.

DianaDeath's picture

I thought that was melanie Griffith.

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"If French is the language of love, then Spanish is the language of badassery!" -MK

TexnDoc's picture

Wasn't Hilary Duff the one who upset Faye Dunaway so when she was planning the "Bonnie & Clyde" remake that apparently never happened? Now she is Faye.

Anita Bidet's picture

This is just a really bad pic of Hillary, nothing more

Lucifer_Sam's picture

Hilary Duff got some trout lips to go with her chipmunk cheeks

- and those ridiculously enormous horse-teeth veneers.

notreallyworking's picture

holy mother of christ child? what is your malfunction?

"Just look at all the fucks I give!"

"Pete... I just wanted to jump on and tell you I'm really glad you're doin' okay."

"Is your name Michael Diamond?" "Naw, mine's Clarence..."

MR_F's picture

And veryoldbat - I love that movie too! It (and the book) was very, um, enlightening for a younger MR_F ;) I REALLY wanted a fedora after I saw it!

MR_F's picture

This photo actually made me sad. I mean, WHY? What is she doing, or trying to do, career-wise, to make her do that to herself? Girl, you have a ton of child star money and just had a kid - fucking enjoy it! The rest of us plebes can't. And, lord, I would if I could, and I don't even have kids.

I swear, I imagine LA as this bizarro world where every woman looks like a burn victim (or wants to). That group-think must make looking in mirror ok instead of the waking nightmare it should be.

veryoldbat's picture

Isn't she too young for plastic surgery and fillers? It changes her face so much I thought it was a pic of Jane March..The Lover.. Great movie.

Now is the time. You're not promised tomorrow. -PR

Mrs. Voorhees's picture

I can see Ashton Kutcher and Jenny McCarthy eventually becoming a couple. Their stink just smells the same.

Stan Hooper's picture

I saw a recent video of Marlo Thomas talking about Free to be..her injected lips looked like a trout that was capable of swallowing the reporter from the NYT! Marlo is a graceful lady, does not need to fill her lips! Her mouth moved so strange!

Don't know how folks fail to see How hideous are these fake ass bubble are! Seems all of Hollywierd needs mirrors! I don't know of any friends who look like Charlie Tuna!

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Brevity may be the soul of wit, but to twit without wit is soulless -- Johanne Savoie

Aerialgreen's picture

SAD. Just when one would think she had beat Lindsay Lohan in every single way in life, she fucks with her face ~ tsk, tsk.

Puppy Love's picture

All these quasi-fucking celebrities are so laughable with their hideous fishlips. Plastic surgeons in Hollywood must LTAO as they run to the bank.

FreakyBeBeautiful's picture

Is it just me, or does Hilary look like Pete Burns. Or... if Pete Burns STOLE Kylie Minogue's teef.

Why is HDuff getting work done? Gotta look good for the paparazzi when she does all that shopping!

PrettyHateMachine's picture

What happened to her eyes? Did she go to her plastic surgeon and hand them Blohan's pic and told them that was the look?

When I see bitches younger than me messing with the filler, you know there is a problem. People are so stupid. What is she 26?

RandéSleepover's picture

Re the Condom Size app, this is why you should insist on a NEW phone from Asurion when you crack the screen.

REDMOND's picture

Courtney is a nut but Gwen is such a full of herself bitch. She comes across as super self important in any interview I read with her. So it's a toss up.
Why do JLo still get press? She's a shit actor, shit singer, and the biggest cunt on the planet. Hilary Duff? She still exists?

cocoebert's picture

Hilary already had nice, thick lips before. WTF was she thinking?

tomato puff's picture

So Hilary got sick of being a horse and decided to become a duck? to each their own. guess shes gonna work on her waddle.

I was beginning to worry that something was wrong with me too, as I don't find any of these men "hot" as well. I'm glad I'm not alone. They all seem to think highly of themselves - 29 Eddie Ciberians in a row. Maybe I just can't with these generic muscles (anymore).. I don't know.

RichBitch's picture

Hilary Duff is a flawless natural beauty and I won't hear a word against such god-given ethereal surgery.

Lucifer_Sam's picture

Submitted by M.E. on Fri, 01/25/2013 - 6:03pm.
Something is wrong with me. NONE of those ab men did anything for me.

Nah, it's not you it's them. They're too bland this week. All I'm seeing is just how perfectly #8's trousers fit his beautiful waist, and how he should just keep them on.

Lucifer_Sam's picture

Whoever Nicole Sullivan is, she sounds like a fucking lunatic. As if anyone cares enough about her to give a shit about every last lb she lost per week on Jenny Craig. Bitch be gone.

winniwins's picture

# 24

TexnDoc's picture

JLo is so ridiculous why poison a movie with her. Doesn't everything she appear in have a box office life of about 5 minutes?

Hockey fan's picture

Can Cuntney Love just please shut the fuck up? NOT EVEN YOUR DAUGHTER CARES WHAT YOU THINK, so you can be damn sure none of the rest of us do.

What did Hilary do to herself? Jebuzzz.

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Now we know who the real Sasha Fierce is. They all lookin' like, "If this high-yellow mulatto Jezebel hussy don't off my daddy/son in-law, tracks WILL be tugged on national TV." --Sunny on Sasha Obama

Mani6's picture

I noticed that Lou Reed will be at Coachella. Who cares how old he is, it's LOU REED!

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If anyone is going to pee on him it's going to be me.- Nicole Kidman

Esteem's picture

I'd like a #1 and #11 sandwich please.

Two Drink Min's picture

Submitted by M.E. on Fri, 01/25/2013 - 5:36pm
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Agreed. I had my first at 32 natural birth, lost all the weight in weeks. Number two was two months ago at 34 and had to be a c-section and WOAH. Cannot lose this weigh around incision and the two years was a HUGE difference.

britmachine's picture

Something bit her right? Her eyes are swollen shut!

caffeinecrazed's picture

I have no idea why so many celebs prefer to have lips that look like a pair of slugs.

elanenergy's picture

Hey MK, thanks for the link to the hot shirtless guys!!!!!! I'm doin' the same thing as you this weekend. Puff and roll. LOL

My vision of world peace: a chicken in every pot, and pot for all us chickens...and weasels.

Orangina's picture

Ha, I love C.Love's tirades against Gwen Stefani. Everyone kisses Gwen's ass so much, and Courtney's like "She's really stupid. Like, low IQ. And I fucked her husband. Kay, bye."

Why, Hilary?!?!?!

Jessica Alba totally had a tuck. And her career has never been hotter! Teehee.

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There might have been a time when I would let you slip away
I wouldn't even try
But I think you could save my life

M.E.'s picture

Something is wrong with me. NONE of those ab men did anything for me.

Mel-Tang's picture

HELLO #23,24,&25......you just melted the snow. :P

* 100% hotness verified by WHAMO. :P *

www.poopreport.com :)

<3-------------------------------<3

RIMADYL KILLS

britmachine's picture

Why is the SWOLLEN look "in?"

louise_brooks's picture

MJT- I had to go back and look again, because I think I blanked out after #2, but #27 is good, too. I liked #24 until I realized he looked like my extremely douchy neighbor.

Yeah, I agree about them being too douchy. Some of them are just too pretty and I just can't with guys who take longer then me to get ready.

cocoebert's picture

Submitted by LunaChick on Fri, 01/25/2013 - 5:39pm.
I'll take #25, from Shirtless Friday. *swoon*

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#29 is like a bulked up Paul Rudd. *weirdest ladyboner ever*

Gardening Girl's picture

Good on you Hilary, now you look like most of the dumb whores in Hollywood.

"Let them all boil in their own hotdog juice." Deb 7/2012

LunaChick's picture

I'll take #25, from Shirtless Friday. *swoon*

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"We're there for the oddball, the rebel, the outcast, the geek!"

M.E.'s picture

Nicole Sullivan - losing the baby weight:

Age is a factor, pre-pregnancy weight is a factor, pre-pregnancy workout routine is a factor (if you have one or not), your metabolism, heretity, how much you put on in your pregnancy, the baby's health, c-section vs vaginal birth. All of that is a factor and even after that during pregnancy your body changes, especially if you are breastfeeding. Some women DO drop the weight just by breastfeeding alone whether they are 25 or 45 others hold onto the weight, their bodies wanting to ensure they produce fatty enough milk, not caring WHAT their age is, or what they eat, or if they want to lose weight.

Sometimes it just doesn't matter WHAT you do, your body decides for you.

elanenergy's picture

Oh. My. Those. Lips. Make. Mine. Hurt.

why do people inject bacteria that is untested over the long term, especially a mother, into their body. To look better? She's nuts.

My vision of world peace: a chicken in every pot, and pot for all us chickens...and weasels.

JLO was on the Daily Show recently and the bitch had to adjust her angle to face the audience to give them a good view of plastic face. She had the annoying fake laugh and about 100 rings on her fingers that she kept banging on the desk.

parissucksliterally's picture

I appreciate what Nicole Sullivan is saying, but Alba did not gain a lot of weight while pregnant, and was in her 20's when she had the babies. Having a baby at 38 is different.

Now, if she had picked on Beyonce, I'd really agree with her. Not hard to lose a pillow.

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Starting from zero got nothing to lose
Maybe we'll make something
But me myself I got nothing to prove

MissJaneTexas's picture

Louise -we would have to fight over #2. I'd also take #27 cause you know I'm from Texas and all. The rest are hot but are too young or douchey looking for my taste.

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Your Chick-Fil-A is showing. - ISprainedMyUvula 8/3/2012

Parablesower's picture

Sofia, run girl! Trust me when I tell you, it will NOT get better if you have all these problems BEFORE you even get married!

We're going to give you a fair trial- followed by a first class hanging."- Silverado