Lindsay Lohan Miraculously Recovers And Flies To L.A. For Court
Lindsay Lohan wasn't going to show her face in an L.A. court room today, because her lawyer Lionel Hutz Mark Heller gave the judge a note from her NYC doctor that said she was suffering from an upper respiratory infection and could infect all the other passengers with the sicks if she flies to California. But I guess TMZ spooked the flu right out of that bitch. Because apparently after TMZ said the judge could issue a warrant for her arrest, LiLo grabbed White Oprah, ran down to the bar at the Hilton Garden, flirted with a couple of half-blind 60-something businessmen, lured them to the bathroom, stole their wallets while her mother gave them a double handy and then used their credit cards to buy two first class tickets from JFK to LAX.
White Oprah and LiLo landed at LAX last night and the passengers on the flight said that they didn't catch the flu, but they did catch a severe case of the rolling eyeballs and an even worse case of the HAHAHAs after seeing that bitch's outfit.
How many different kinds of animals were butchered to make that outfit? Several cows from the 80s were killed to make those pants. Several dude seals had their foreskin ripped off of their peens to make those lips. And that period-stained crotch fur was ripped off of a Kardashian to make those sleeves. Bitch is dressed like a retired pro wrestler from the 80s. I bet oxygen masks dropped halfway through the flight, because when you mix LiLo's sweaty crotch with leather pants you get some stuff you don't want to inhale.
And if you live in L.A. and have a spare bedroom, you should check it, because LiLo and White Oprah are probably sleeping in there after breaking into your house. Because TMZ says that LiLo tried to check into Shutters in Santa Monica last night, but she's been blacklisted for trashing a room in 2007. LiLo also tried checking into the Loews, but they told her they were all booked. LiLo also tried checking into the Motel 6 in Van Nuys, but I guess they're still mad at her for leaving the dead body of her overdosed johns in their room after a call gone wrong.
LiLo is supposed to be in court at around 8:30 L.A. time, but she might not have a lawyer with her. Shawn Holley would rather eat a rat's vagina than go back to LiLo and the judge might not approve Mark Heller since he doesn't have a license to practice in CA and he's never met the L.A.-based lawyer who's supposedly sponsoring him. I really hope that White Oprah represents that mess in court today. White Oprah watched all the court scenes from Legally Blonde on the plane ride over and she gave a beej to a first year law student in the lavatory, so she's totally qualified.
I care nothing about fashion but.... WHAT THE HECK IS THAT OUTFIT??? Seriously??!! Is she half gorilla and we're just finding out now?!! Worst ensemble EVER!!
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www.dungeonhordes.com
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But how can she appear semi-normal (from the neck up) and then show up in court, looking all kinds of wrecked and bloaty?
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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Thanks Dina for making the mother of the year award completely meaningless.
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If anyone is going to pee on him it's going to be me.- Nicole Kidman
PussHole-in-Boots is definitely not the look for LiHo. And WO posing for the cameras like a blow-dried pineapple, isn't either. Who dresses these people? lol
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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These two skeezers look like a dollar store church basement theatre production of Absolutely Fabulous. I have no other words for whatever the fuck that is that Lindsay is wearing. Jesus Christ.
Who is dressing this mess, Kanye?
She is BEGGING Peta to flour bomb her fur hag azz.
ITA!!
She stole that outfit from a larger woman.
Why is she wearing a trash bag?
i am more embarrassed for her mother. Posing, smiling, wearing clothes from 4 evah 21 - she is just so pathetic. her kid is going to court and she's all hyped up to get her picture taken. trashy babe. and lilo in her i dream of jeannie bondage style outfit - fuckkkk.
i am more embarrassed for her mother. Posing, smiling, wearing clothes from 4 evah 21 - she is just so pathetic. her kid is going to court and she's all hyped up to get her picture taken. trashy babe.
What the fuck is she wearing?? Is this even a serious outfit?? Since I guess it is:
BWAHAHAHA!!!!!
That is a crazy bag lady outfit if I've ever seen one. Bitch has lost her mind. It's sick how excited WO is to be photographed.
She didn't get over today. It was just a routine pretrial hearing, which happen all the time. She still has to face trial on 3/18, unless she agrees to a plea.
The main things I take away from this kerfuffle are (a) she's still wisely marshaling her assets by flying first class and (b) she doesn't even have the staff to reserve herself a hotel room in advance.
Uhhu, she looks like a herpes sore masquerading as a human but not understanding enough of the fine details to it pull off convincingly.
b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j
"I'm doin ho activities, with ho energy. Ho's are my friends, ho's are my enemies."
How can she walk in that outfit around JFK and LAX without anyone making a citizen's arrest? Christ on a Kringle, the coasts are always making fun of folks in the so-called "fly over states" and yet they let someone walk around in that gorilla suit! Either up your game New York and L.A. or drink a big cup of shut the fashion fuck up!
You know what other mother and child were turned away from hotels? THE VIRGIN MARY AND JESUS.
We should changed White Oprah and Lindsay's names to the Non-Virgin-Virgin-Mary and Ginger Jesus.
Please, Dr Freud, help us out. We desperately need to see Casper [the Friendly Ghost] fuck his mother! --- Cinema Snob
SHE SKATED AGAIN!!!! WTF?
Lilo needs.to go into the freaking Winter Olympics--no one can skate as impeccably as she!
:-(
Submitted by Ophelias evil twin on Wed, 01/30/2013 - 1:19pm.
Submitted by Foxxy Brown on Wed, 01/30/2013 - 1:08pm.
the statistics back up what GG said below re: who goes to jail in LA Co. imo add "not the wealthy either" to GG's comment...
"Voodoo is forgetting who's the john and who's the whore." MK, 3/20/12
Submitted by tomahawk on Wed, 01/30/2013 - 1:29pm.
Sorry you lost your basil! That is my second favorite herb.
I'm laughing to myself, imagining all the pests in your garden eating cookies! ;)
And YES, they're still better than Lohans!
"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson
Submitted by Deb on Wed, 01/30/2013 - 12:51pm.
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I understand, that would annoy me as well. I hate pests like greenflies and stuff like that.
I'm planting crops as well, and last year I had a real problem with catarpillars which ate all my basil. That actually gave me a headache as I love butterflies and moths, but I also love my plants. I picked them all (~150) of the plants and relocated them - although it was too late for the basil. After that I decided that no ecosystem should ever be in my hands as all animals in there would have to eat cookies, while the plants would be cramped in every bit of soil there was.
But still I think weeds are more useful than Lohans ;)
What in the Warm Leatherette Hell is she wearing..?
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The most expensive meal you will ever eat is pussy.
Who does she think she is -- Carmen Sandieg-Hoe?
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"Brows should not look like a condiment!" -MK
Submitted by Foxxy Brown on Wed, 01/30/2013 - 1:08pm.
Submitted by Ophelias evil twin on Wed, 01/30/2013 - 12:16pm.
":::runs out of office - snorts a few lines, jumps in car - crashes into dump trunk - jumps out of car -grabs a pedestrian and punches them in the face - swings by jooree store - steals a necklace..::"
lmao -- watch, Amanda Bynes is going to do exactly this next week!
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there's another little bitch who has carte blanche to terrorize the good people of L.A. She got caught 3 or 4 fucking times driving after she was ordered not to by a judge and nothing happened to her.
Submitted by Darknight on Wed, 01/30/2013 - 12:59pm.
Submitted by Ophelias evil twin on Wed, 01/30/2013 - 12:48pm.
grrr I need another coffee - Irish this time...
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That is a GREAT idea, don't mind if I make some myself.
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*holds up coffee mug* Cheers. *clink*
Only wish it were champagne to celebrate the incarceration of Crackie. I'm such a fool to keep hoping. I'm a stubborn little bitch ;)
So she gets to go traipsing around, drinking and drugging for another month.
I FUCKING HATE THIS COCKROACH.
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Don't you never, ever, pull my lever
Cause I explode
And my nine is easy to load
And, for the upteenth time, the mother looks younger than the daughter.
Submitted by Ophelias evil twin on Wed, 01/30/2013 - 12:16pm.
":::runs out of office - snorts a few lines, jumps in car - crashes into dump trunk - jumps out of car -grabs a pedestrian and punches them in the face - swings by jooree store - steals a necklace..::"
lmao -- watch, Amanda Bynes is going to do exactly this next week!
"Voodoo is forgetting who's the john and who's the whore." MK, 3/20/12
yes PSL this one was all about the lawyer change
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"OBAMA PLEASE HELP ME I DON'T HAVE A JOB"
"NO SORRY BUT HERE'S SOME WEED AND A VOUCHER TO GET MARRIED TO YOUR UNCLE" THANKS OBAMA
Sucky 12/19
She'd better line up some new clients, she owes a lot of money, and is going to rack up more legal fees.
WHY is there another hearing March 1st? because she changed lawyers?
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Don't you never, ever, pull my lever
Cause I explode
And my nine is easy to load
Crack-a-lackie can wear all the "designer" this and that she wants, don't matter, as soon as she puts it on, it looks like SwapMeetier and LooBootMart.
Stay off the streets of LA. Firecrotch is on the loose with Dinasaurus. Hide yo wives & chirruns!
snowy, real nice - tattletale! When the DEA shows up, I hope there's somebody with a camera to record my thumbs-up!
REmind me to SKIP your ass next time I pass the bowl!
"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson
Submitted by Ophelias evil twin on Wed, 01/30/2013 - 12:48pm.
grrr I need another coffee - Irish this time...
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That is a GREAT idea, don't mind if I make some myself.
And on the lateness topic I read that people who are consistently late are most likely narcissist and it is their subliminal way of letting you know that their time is more important than yours.
Or they might be scatterbrained.
Submitted by jelliebean on Wed, 01/30/2013 - 12:54pm.
Submitted by mike on Wed, 01/30/2013 - 12:44pm.
Submitted by Deb on Wed, 01/30/2013 - 12:37pm.
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Yep. I'm sure it started earlier, but I blame shows like Jerry Springer and other tabloid talk shows from the 80's partially. The shows were based on people who instead of being ashamed of their despicable acts, were rewarded with airtime for shouting it to the rooftops.
"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson
*calls DEA on deb*
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"OBAMA PLEASE HELP ME I DON'T HAVE A JOB"
"NO SORRY BUT HERE'S SOME WEED AND A VOUCHER TO GET MARRIED TO YOUR UNCLE" THANKS OBAMA
Sucky 12/19
why is dinah thumb-upping for: Go get'em tiger...???... also am feeling all fuzzy at that pic through the car window, such understated DRAMA!
I just woke up- she showed up LATE and STILL nothing happened?
AAAAARRRRGGGHHHHHHHHH
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Don't you never, ever, pull my lever
Cause I explode
And my nine is easy to load
snowy - ha! ha! Very funny. I actually had a 4' Weed weed grow in my backyard last summer. I dried it and bagged up the buds.
Cannabis sativa, is actually a desirable perennial. The flowers aren't much to look at, but the FOLIAGE! ;)
"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson
Of course nothing happened to her. Geez. My only consolation is she's doomed to a life of wearing stupid floppy hats with hair attached to them and Mr. Burns' gorilla vests. I get that she has no stylist or money and is a crack head, but still this outfit is inexcusable!
Submitted by mike on Wed, 01/30/2013 - 12:44pm.
Submitted by Deb on Wed, 01/30/2013 - 12:37pm.
"shame is an unknown concept..."
^^^
This!!! Sometimes when I am convinced the world has no redeeming qualities, I come here to commiserate with others who understand. I can't begin to understand a world that lets the Lohans and the Kardashians roam free and kill at will (victims: truth, beauty, humanity, decency etc)
on the weed analogy, I agree, but for myself I like the term cockroaches or bacteria.
@mike. Sadly, I agree.
"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson
I like weed
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"OBAMA PLEASE HELP ME I DON'T HAVE A JOB"
"NO SORRY BUT HERE'S SOME WEED AND A VOUCHER TO GET MARRIED TO YOUR UNCLE" THANKS OBAMA
Sucky 12/19
the "what the hell kind of GD outfit" tag is very much needed here, MK
"Voodoo is forgetting who's the john and who's the whore." MK, 3/20/12
Submitted by tomahawk on Wed, 01/30/2013 - 12:44pm.
I understand. One man's weed is another man's flower! I love Queen Anne's Lace, which is considered a weed.
I am a professional landscaper and gardener, tomahawk. I've spent hours fighting invasive species of plants.
What I meant in my comparison to the Lohans was that they are unlike delicate flowers, which may be beautiful, but can die easily without proper care.
They are more like weeds that grow and thrive in the worst conditions.
edited to add: They may be undesirable, ugly, and steal nutrients from flowers and vegetables. Yet they don't care.
"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson
Gah! Thumb #5 is a flash of the beauty she ruined...no facial bloat just puffy lips. Shame.
"Let them all boil in their own hotdog juice." Deb 7/2012
@Mike: They don't possess any shame because they're narcissists/sociopaths.
They don't have the capacity to feel shame or guilt.
homeless and penniless Crackie was wearing a Chanel dress.
There truly is no justice in this world. grrr I need another coffee - Irish this time...
Lucie -- hey, love!
I cannot stand people who are late. It shows a lack of respect for one's self & others when someone is late.
I once saw actor Fred Williamson with a Louis Vuitton briefcase. He looked like a pimp IMO.
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"I'm from Chicago, bitch!"
"Two eyes, two eyebrows."