Afternoon Crumbs

The not-knowing-bitch who took the ginge out of Anne of Green Gables and made her look like Jessica Simpson's stand-in for the Dukes of Hazzard movie should be arrested, tried and found guilty of committing literary fuckery - Buzzfeed

Anne Hathaway's dress makes it looks like her nipples are heavily breathing in and out - Lainey Gossip

I hate myself for mistaking Minka Kelly for Mariska Hargitay - Hollywood Tuna

Eva Mendes is pretty much Ryan Gosling's "muse" now - Celebitchy

John Noble is the new Star Wars villain and I'm okay with this as long as Prince Valium is in the movie too. Wait, I'm thinking of the right space movie, right? - The Superficial

Elizabeth Banks does the bike ride of shame or she has to caca really bad - Drunken Stepfather

The Crystal Enchantress of the Ice tells Olympic athletes to tone down their gayness when in Russia and I'm sitting here wondering how in the hell does the Crystal Enchantress of the Ice tone down HIS gayness? - Towleroad

Ashley Greene looks like an extra in the Molodvian wedding scene from Dynasty - Popoholic

If Justin Timberlake's album doesn't work out, he can always sell the cover to optometrist offices - ICYDK

#35 is the panty pudding-inducer of all the panty pudding-inducers on this list - The Berry

People are still paying Kristen Stewart to "act" - Just Jared

Did somebody say "MARIJUANA E-CIGS"?! - Cityrag

Meredith Vieria really loves pigeons (the bird, not the female scrub) - SOW

Bjork writes like a serial killing 1st grader and I'd expect nothing less - OMG Blog

When I turn on the news tonight, I fully expect to see shots of Khloe Kardashian ripping out the bones of Armenians with her teeth to get to their marrow - IDLYITW

Either Jessica Simpson is like 5 weeks pregnant or she's not going to get to the size of three Mama Junes like last time - Popsugar

Colin Farrell looks like he's wearing a bike helmet made of hair - I'm Not Obsessed

But do you get the 300 cats when you rent Grey Gardens? - Jezebel

I'll take THAT'S ENOUGH for 200, Alex - Videogum

More people wanted to see Madge's muscled up crotch than Beyonce's muscled up crotch - Moe Jackson

Posted by: Michael K

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Afternoon Crumbs

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Submitted by silvarga on Fri, 02/08/2013 - 2:31pm.

Before I realized that the image was actually a book cover, I thought this had something to do with a 16-year-old Naomi Watts

Submitted by WTFOMGLOL on Fri, 02/08/2013 - 8:19am.

They forgot the fourth title:

Anne Gets Run a Train

Submitted by SouthernBabyDoll on Fri, 02/08/2013 - 1:57am.

I don't know why, but I think brunettes and redheads are more attractive than blondes. Sorry, but blonde hair is overrated IMHO, unless you're a natural blonde. Therefore, my new favorite Disney movie is Brave. So fuck that bitch on the Anne of Green Gables cover. How in the almighty fuck did they come to conclusion of making Anne a blonde-haired bimbo looking like she just stepped out of a farm-themed porno. What about that says poor little orphan girl? This chick, has no freckles, doesn't have big expressive eyes, doesn't have red-hair, and this doesn't even look like the right era AOGG was set in. The fuckery here is unbelievable! And why does this blonde remind me of the chick from the Warrant video Cherry Pie, but without the makeup?

Submitted by MissDior on Fri, 02/08/2013 - 1:18am.

WTF? Anne is my childhood hero. This bitch looks like one step away from a "date" with Charlie Sheen. Who's the asshole who signed off on this shit?

Submitted by Daniee on Fri, 02/08/2013 - 1:07am.

Submitted by Mabel Hodges on Thu, 02/07/2013 - 11:19pm.

Anne of Green Gobblers: farm porn about giving head to aliens
Anne of Avon-Peen: sucking dick in the shire
Anne of the Island of Lesbos: self-explanatory
--------------------------

HaHahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!

Submitted by Daniee on Fri, 02/08/2013 - 1:05am.

WTF!!? That is NO PEI Gables girl! Booooo!!

Submitted by johnnysgirl on Fri, 02/08/2013 - 12:18am.

That Anne of Green Gables cover was obvy some ignint person's fuckup - that's the publishing industry these days. Someone probly right-click-grabbed a stock photo.

But you know, I actually hated Megan Fallow as Ann. She didn't have freckles! WTF. Also, Ann was not just once described but fully characterized as being bony and gangly, and having great big expressive eyes that seemed to dominate her face. Megan didn't have any of that. For a literary character whose personality and worldview was so intensely influenced by her physical characteristics, the casting of Megan Fallows was awful, and so disappointing to me.

The casting of Colleen Dewhurst as Marilla however was SPOT ON.

Submitted by Mabel Hodges on Thu, 02/07/2013 - 11:35pm.

Okay... shoulda just said, Anne of Blonde Fuckery.

Those publishing WHORES!

Love,
Mabel

Submitted by Mabel Hodges on Thu, 02/07/2013 - 11:19pm.

Let me just start by saying fuck them for taking the ginge out of AOGG.
Shameless hussies!

That being said...let's get creative, shall we?

Anne of Green Gobblers: farm porn about giving head to aliens
Anne of Avon-Peen: sucking dick in the shire
Anne of the Island of Lesbos: self-explanatory

Now wasn't that fun?!

Love,
Mabel

Submitted by Mani6 on Thu, 02/07/2013 - 10:52pm.

Meanwhile Anne of the Hathaway is probably staring in the mirror right now practicing her "surprised" look for when she wins the Oscar.

............................................

If anyone is going to pee on him it's going to be me.- Nicole Kidman

Submitted by dementa on Thu, 02/07/2013 - 10:01pm.

So they assumed Anne of Green Gables was a blonde girl from a farm-porn? Seriously, having red hair was one of her defining teen characteristics! How do you fuck that up? It's like making Frodo Baggins 6 feet tall! Or James Bond American!

John Noble is the new SW villain? Sure, but he has to die by getting set on fire and running off the side of a city.

KStew as a fashion "muse"? Are they kidding? She takes the most beautiful clothes in the world and make them look cheap.

And the plot sounds stupid too. "Oh no, I'm a fashion designer, and they want to make my wonderful shoes available to the dirty unwashed masses instead of respecting my art! QUELLE HORREUR!" Talk about your first-world problems.

*********

I'm here to kick ass and drink tea. And I'm all out of tea.

Submitted by Stoney on Thu, 02/07/2013 - 10:01pm.

FUCKING OFFENSIVE!!! GOD, PULL THE FUCKING SWITCH!!!

*hurls laptop across room*
_____________________________________________
"Let s/he who is without sin, cast the first Stoney."

Submitted by vanessa197676 on Thu, 02/07/2013 - 9:04pm.

Seeing as I love using Anne and Gilbert as my avi (from the braid-pulling scene), I am highly offended by this cover.

Submitted by Faloola Chong on Thu, 02/07/2013 - 8:05pm.

That Timberpuss album cover is ugly ass fuck, luckily for him no one cares on iTunes but I smell flop.

Submitted by WithinReason... on Thu, 02/07/2013 - 8:03pm.

More like Anne of Hor Gables...

Olol, Bjork does write like a serial killer first grader!! haha

Anna Torv is yummy, so are the Berry towel boys ;p

•-•-•-•-•-•
"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
░░░░♬♣☺♪◘☼♥♫•ღ♩♦≈❀♠♡░░░░

Submitted by veryoldbat on Thu, 02/07/2013 - 7:56pm.

Mel.. I second or third that. Anne was from PEI and a Redhead....they can dye her hair just not rewrite children's literature.

Now is the time. You're not promised tomorrow. -PR

Submitted by Parablesower on Thu, 02/07/2013 - 7:54pm.

I loved Anne of Green Gables with Megan Follows! They have the wrong century, wrong hair color, and wrong attitude. What about her says orphan from PEI? Wrong all the way around.

This travesty of a cover and I will never be bosom friends. No spare bedroom for you!

We're going to give you a fair trial- followed by a first class hanging."- Silverado

Submitted by PrettyHateMachine on Thu, 02/07/2013 - 7:51pm.

I don't think I've ever seen a man lose the hot as fast as Colin Farrell. He still has adorable eyes, but no where near as hot as he once was.

Submitted by TOPANGA on Thu, 02/07/2013 - 7:48pm.

My nerdy self owned the ENTIRE Anne of Green Gables series when I was in elementary school AND I watched the Disney movies too lol. Anne was a ginger, I don't know who this blonde bimbo is though. Blasphemy!
_________________________________
"I was half a virgin when I met him!"

-Mean Girl,Regina George

Submitted by Nanners on Thu, 02/07/2013 - 7:31pm.

Submitted by Hotmami on Thu, 02/07/2013 - 6:35pm.

Anne's red hair was practically its own subplot...what the fuck is this blonde shit.
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For fucking real. If Anne was blonde Gilbert never would have called her "Carrots" and she never would have cracked her slate over his head and they never would have hooked up. SACRILEGE!!

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What the fuck dude? And being European is NOT an excuse. - IHateCharityChic 05/10/2012

Submitted by Deb on Thu, 02/07/2013 - 7:31pm.

Jessica Simpson looks pretty huge to me. She's holding that water bottle strategically. Her boobs are bigger than her head.
She finally found her true talent - breeding.

"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson

Submitted by SGVpea on Thu, 02/07/2013 - 7:24pm.

Did Jessica Simpson birth out a wart on the left side of her face?

Submitted by Mel-Tang on Thu, 02/07/2013 - 6:50pm.

Emeriesan...me too!! :(

And I can't even understand half of it. Makes no sense!

* 100% hotness verified by WHAMO. :P *

www.poopreport.com :)

<3-------------------------------<3

RIMADYL KILLS

Submitted by Possum on Thu, 02/07/2013 - 6:49pm.

I don't care what anyone says... I love Bjork. She's batshit crazy and I love her for it.

Submitted by Emeriesan on Thu, 02/07/2013 - 6:42pm.

Submitted by Mel-Tang on Thu, 02/07/2013 - 6:23pm.

Does anyone else find Drunken Stepfather REALLY annoying??
_______________

I find that website's content totally degrading to women, and I make a point to never click on it nowadays - I don't want to give it traffic, even though MK's crumb sentences do crack me up most of the time.

Submitted by NovaNightly on Thu, 02/07/2013 - 6:41pm.

No red...no read!!

<^>^<^>^<^>^<^>^<^>^<^>^<^>^<^>^<^>^<^>^<^>^<
Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition!!!

Submitted by Hotmami on Thu, 02/07/2013 - 6:35pm.

Anne's red hair was practically its own subplot...what the fuck is this blonde shit. My childhood. Ruined.

************************************

There might have been a time when I would let you slip away
I wouldn't even try
But I think you could save my life

Submitted by oceanlover998 on Thu, 02/07/2013 - 6:34pm.

...with each passing year and new cosmetic procedure, madonna is starting to look like a walking, breathing v*gina...

...and Beyonce 31 years old?!!!...I know we had this discussion, but every time I see that in print after the way she looked at half-time it just seems more and more ludicrous...

...I'd take Dawn French's Bjork over Bjork's Bjork any day...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8X5eWmzyIA8

________________________________________________
...'Sometimes the road less traveled is less traveled for a reason '...

Submitted by Mel-Tang on Thu, 02/07/2013 - 6:23pm.

Anne of green looks like a really young and chubby Rebecca De Mornay.

#35 was the only interesting Berry.

Does anyone else find Drunken Stepfather REALLY annoying??

* 100% hotness verified by WHAMO. :P *

www.poopreport.com :)

<3-------------------------------<3

RIMADYL KILLS

Submitted by taliaann on Thu, 02/07/2013 - 6:14pm.

Blonde & time period inappropriate! Lovely.

Submitted by Emeriesan on Thu, 02/07/2013 - 6:11pm.

lol@ Colin Farrell's hair turban!

Submitted by BlueOrchid on Thu, 02/07/2013 - 6:04pm.

Great, so Anne of Green Gables is now a doughy-faced whore? NOT COOL.

Submitted by The Machine on Thu, 02/07/2013 - 5:48pm.

Jesus fuck. Elizabeth Banks looks amazing!
*looks at her treadmill and sighs*

_________________________________________________
Raising the bar for lowering standards since 1982.

Submitted by mbj on Thu, 02/07/2013 - 5:41pm.

Anne of Green Gables had red hair! Who the F is that?!!!?? I protest.

Submitted by carefreea on Thu, 02/07/2013 - 5:34pm.

I hadn't scrolled down fully and thought that was a porno cover.

My guess is Jessica realised she overate last pregnancy and given she finds it hard to lose weight, is cutting back this time round.

********
"In other news, the University of Color Me Surprised released a report today which states that water is indeed wet. Mind. Boggled" - Michael K, who else?

Submitted by didimao on Thu, 02/07/2013 - 5:27pm.

Why did they cast a blonde girl instead of a red-head? I hate when they change how the character is suppose to look.

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What in the praying mantis crackhooker hell is this?! - MK 9/09