Friday, February 8th 2013

Would You Hit It?

In case you don't know who this is, I'll give you five possible answers:

a) Samantha Ronson in 20 years
b) The sixth place winner in a Billy Idol look-alike contest at a bar in Manchester
c) A Hot Topic assistant manager dressed in Guy Fieri cosplay
d) A volunteer model from Billie Joe Armstrong's School of Beauty
e) Ethan Hawke

Any of those answers work, but the real answer is Ethan Hawke. Ethan Hawke worked a bleached mop and Urban Decay eyeliner while posing with his cast mates and the playwright at the opening night of the play Clive in NYC last night. Yes, I'd hit it. And I'd hit it extra hard if you told me that Ethan's carpet matches his bleached drapes. I am all for blond pubes with black roots.

Posted by: Michael K
bornagainChristian's picture

Looks like he is "overly impressed" with his own looks. FAIL.

He is obviously having a HUGE midlife crisis, enhanced by alcohol and drugs.

Otherwise, he is definitely OFF HIS ROCKER. no pun intended.

I saw him about 6 years ago walking around the West Village, and even back then he looked old, haggard and completely unattractive.

bird's picture

nope

REDMOND's picture

I soooooo would!!!!!!!!

moonmaid's picture
moonmaid's picture

Submitted by Hekki on Fri, 02/08/2013 - 4:16pm.

From my vintage gossip page: "Hawke, Ethan. Hygienically challenged. Overly impressed with his own intelligence. Failed author. Cokehead. Told friends and strangers, in excruciating detail, about how Uma Thurman’s private parts changed after childbirth (what a moron Hawke is). Linked with Lisa Loeb, Julia Roberts & Uma Thurman, who he married."

Hahaha.

Hekki - OMG, my favorite, "The A List" - what a classic of nasty tidbits! Whenever a name comes up that I remember reading about on there, I still think of the quote. lol

moonmaid's picture

Oh my. Not a good look. Billy Idol awakes after 20 year nap in the alley.

Hopefully it's for a role. Loved him in the Before Sunrise/Before Sunset movies.

Bjork You's picture

"a) Samantha Ronson in 20 years"

Fucking dying!!

When I see Hawke, I am reminded of Rickie Lee Jones's "Weasel in a White Boy's Cool."

He looks like a heroin-addicted ferret. I never understood the "hot" label.

*********

I'm here to kick ass and drink tea. And I'm all out of tea.

loopygorilla's picture

wow its been a long time since he had a threesome with neve campbell and denise richards and was considered hot in hollywood.

that movie was sooo like "kinky" back then, omg.. and i was only a teen too. anyway

he hasnt aged well

Queenbkitty's picture

Is he supposed to be doing a Mark McGrath biopic?? They could be twins!

MelissaRae's picture

Hell yeah!!!

I see before me the lovechild of 1985 Nick Rhodes and 2012 Iggy Pop.

Dog's picture

I'd hit it with Keith Richards. Actually, I think someone beat me to it.

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www.charitywater.org

www.theanimalrescuesite.com

www.modestneeds.org

justincase's picture

Nope.

JessicaGiovanna's picture

Looks like WWE's Dolph Ziggler, but the homeless version.

panhandler's picture

Dude, Ethan Hawke was NEVER hot, not even in the 90's. I remember when everyone and their mama was creamin their panties over him, and I thought he was awkward and quite homely.

Even now, nope, he'd never get a whiff.

JessicaGiovanna's picture

.

d-nice's picture

He looks like he has been having What Chris Brown has been having. Zombie juice. Mark McGrath looks like him too. Both need to eat wings with ranch.

Whamo's picture

Submitted by SoMissDelicious on Fri, 02/08/2013 - 6:02pm.
I thought this was Scott Weiland back on the bad shit again.. eesh..
___________________________________________
What..wait, Weiland was actually off the shit for a minute?

Grace Disful's picture

Oh-- and HELL NO!

I'm very superficial, I hate everything official.

Grace Disful's picture

Methface!

I'm very superficial, I hate everything official.

Husbands_and_Wives's picture

I believe the rumors he's on some hard shit because his face has completely changed. Ugh. Why do addicts always bleach their hair? Every time I see a series of mugshots of a meth or heroin addict they have black roots and bleached ends in at least one shot.

...My darling can't you see
My heart sounds just for you my dear...

zey's picture

"A Hot Topic assistant manager dressed in Guy Fieri cosplay" OMG, I just blew peppermint Schnapps through my nose.

mizsherle's picture

Samantha Ronson doesn't look that good even now.

can be a pushy broad's picture

@Rook---noooooo!! Not at all like Ron White! :)
maybe it's the spiked hair.
Wish Ron White would come out with a new special.
Love his humor.

Stoney's picture

CRACK.HEAD. Look at those burned crack lips!!!
___________________________________________
"Let s/he who is without sin, cast the first Stoney."

rosehips69's picture

The outside now matches the inside. Rode hard, and put away wet. Meanwhile, Uma still looks hot and goes out with sexy moguls. Ha. Ha. Ha.

rook's picture

THEY CALL HIM TATER SALAD.
Anyone else getting Ron White vibes? And that's insulting to Ron White, I'm sorry Ron.

And there's something about Ethan Hawke that makes him painful to see. I really can't bear to look at him. It's the same way I feel about Josh Hartnett and Matt Dillon. Something about their faces makes them so virulently unattractive to me.

Submitted by Who Datt on Fri, 02/08/2013 - 5:57pm.

He looks like a younger, fresher and hotter Keith Richards.
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LOL

I've been "shocked" when I saw these pics on the DM earlier and rushed here for a "WOULD YOU HIT IT" post which I was sure would come. Unfortunately I was too early and got entangled into giving Kim Kartrashian styling tips... and forgot about Ethan.
Well, let's just say: Forget it - but a nice cup of tea and some knitting would also be fine, wouldn't it?

WithinReason...'s picture

Sans, it's called Karma. It's payback time for Ethan. lol Meanwhile, Uma's doing pretty well, isn't she?

•-•-•-•-•-•
"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
░░░░♬♣☺♪◘☼♥♫•ღ♩♦≈❀♠♡░░░░

SoMissDelicious's picture

I thought this was Scott Weiland back on the bad shit again.. eesh..

He looks like a younger, fresher and hotter Keith Richards.

zey's picture

Um, WTF? Is he playing the lovechild of Mark McGrath and Billie Joe Armstrong in his next film?

SANS FARDS's picture

Eat your heart out, Uma Thurman.

Seriously....what has happened to him? He's gone way downhill ever since he shacked up with the nanny. Grossness.

______________________________________________

A Lannister always pays his debts.

Daniee's picture

Ethan works it and contrary to Hekki's post, I've heard he was through a lot with Uma, so yeah..... yeah, I would.
Hmmm, hope is not such a major asshole.

Lucifer_Sam's picture

Submitted by Hekki on Fri, 02/08/2013 - 4:16pm.

He sounds like an even worse fucking dickhead than I thought.

Jintess's picture

Wow, his eyes are a beautiful color

Thamar's picture

Thank God you quit this bitch Uma!

M.E.'s picture

METHFACE.

M.E.'s picture

What in the Billy Idol wannabe zombie looking motherfucking hell is this shit?

sillykat's picture

You think S. Ronson will look this good in 20 years? That's generous of you

stinky's picture

If Billy Idol and Keith Richards had a love child.

Shut up you ugly poo-faced git!

Baby Jane Hudson's picture

I've NEVER thought he was hot or talented. He always played a somber jackassy character and when he started to think he was the next F. Scott Fitzgerald, well ... fuck him.

parkerj's picture

I wouldn't want to touch that. He looks diseased.

He was good looking in Dead Poet's Society but has looked like a total douchetard ever since. So glad Uma is done with him.

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"Bye, Whore" -MK

JulzNo1Zero's picture

What. In The Hell. Is this fuckery? Jesus Christ, what the hell happened to the Ethan Hawk from Training Day? Is he playing Billy Idol in a bio-pic? This reeks of all kinds of wrong

Change is coming through my Shadow

louise_brooks's picture

Submitted by Hekki on Fri, 02/08/2013 - 4:16pm.

That almost reads like a poem. A super douchy poem.

Hekki's picture

From my vintage gossip page: "Hawke, Ethan. Hygienically challenged. Overly impressed with his own intelligence. Failed author. Cokehead. Told friends and strangers, in excruciating detail, about how Uma Thurman’s private parts changed after childbirth (what a moron Hawke is). Linked with Lisa Loeb, Julia Roberts & Uma Thurman, who he married."

Hahaha.

He has never NEVER appealed to me. He has always looked like malnourished white trash. Even when he was all cleaned up.

louise_brooks's picture

Submitted by kate773 on Fri, 02/08/2013 - 4:04pm.

We're beyond the capabilities of moisturizer at this point. A belt sander *may* be able to help, but even Black and Decker may not able to save this tragedy.