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No, these aren't photos from Playgirl even though Dreamboat looks like a hot piece of mess. The Sun got a hold of these camera phone pics of Dreamboat Doherty in the chokey! He looks so.......bored.

Not only is he bored, but The Sun claims he's still doing heroin in the clink. His cellmate is a 28-year-old drug dealer and Dreamboat has been getting shit by begging for credit and writing IOUs. The "s" in IOUs stands for shit, because you know Dreamboat is not paying them back.

An inmate said, “We can’t believe how much he’s still clucking for it. They put him inside to force him to give up but Pete always has a need to feed his habit.” Dreamboat is currently on methadone to wean him off, but he's topping it off with some of the real stuff.

Dreamy has also became friends with some hefty, ex-streetfighter named Ray who is protecting him. Other inmates know he's getting a little white lady from the outside, so he's in danger. Ray is making sure nothing happens to him. Hmm...and how is Dreamy paying Ray back? He probably lets him lick at his feet. Ray sounds like a kinky mofo with a foot fetish.

It's a party in there for Dreamy. This bitch is never leaving. Drugs, free food and his own bodyguard who likes to suck on his toes? I made up the last part, but you know it's true. Dreamy is living the life!

Here's more pics of Dreamy looking fuck ass bored, brushing his crack teeth and waiting for his next dance with the white lady.

Praying mantis, Posh Beckham, dropped by Kitson in West Hollywood to check up on her denim line. News of the World reported that Kitson and Fred Segal were going to drop her ass, because she doesn't promote it.

New York Magazine reports that Kitson is still carrying her crap. Kitson owner told British Vogue, "The rumours are ridiculous — Kitson is extremely proud to be selling dVb by Victoria Beckham. We are fully committed to the dVb collection and our customers and Victoria's fans ask for it daily. I've seen next season's collection and I can't wait to get it in-store, especially the new dVb men's collection, launching in September."

Who the hell buys that shit? The only celebrity fashion collection I will ever buy is Jaclyn Smith for KMart, because the woman has a keen eye for fashion.

Posh needs to get off her bony ass and go do some promoting! It can't be hard. You show up, you pose, you sign a couple of autographs and then you go to lunch and eat a salad. Well, if you're Posh you eat some frozen grapes and wheatgrass diarrhea.

Now I must go file my taxes. Yes, I'm one of those dumb skanks that files right up until the deadline. What's the point of filing early? What if the IRS suddenly changes their mind about taxes this year? What if they decide at the last minute that taxes are "on them" this year. Stranger things have happened.

20-year-old AnnaLynne McCord has joined the Beverly Hills 90210 remake. She will play Naomi, one of the prettiest and most popular girls at West Beverly Hills High. AnnaLynne joins Dustin Milligan. He plays a Steve Sanders type.

AnnaLynne recently played that teenage slut Eden on Nip/Tuck. Shit! Does this mean AnnaLynne is going to leave Nip/Tuck? Eden is the hottest bitch on that shit. She's my inner high school girl come to life.

In more 90210 news, Rob Thomas of Veronica Mars will step back and bring in new writers to do the rewrites. He told E!'s Kristin, "I'd do the additional pass, but I'm swamped with the two other projects and ABC has me in first position." Production has reportedly been pushed back to the summer and won't begin until the show gets a new head bitch. Rob will stay on the show to consult.

Rob wanted Jennie Garth to come back as Kelly, but hopefully the new head bitch will nix that idea. Brenda clearly is the one that needs to come back. She has unfinished business in Beverly Hills! They can even pull a "Strangers with Candy" and have Brenda enroll back into West Bev, because there was a glitch and she never graduated from high school. That bitch has to get her revenge!

When Lily Allen dyed her hair blonde, I immediately dry heaved at the image. Now that I've had some to marinate in it, I'm totally into it. It's very 80s disco queen. It brings out the baby powder in her skin. The bleach may have gotten to her brains though.

Lily recently said she's the top female talk-show host in the UK. Lily said, "I am actually the number one female chat-show host. Davina didn't get commissioned for a second series. But I did, Lily Allen did."

Michael K does not like when Lily Allen refers to herself in the third person. This makes Michael K cry.

Here's the #1 female talk-show host in her own mind, Lily Allen, out and about in London.

Naomi Campbell visited the HemoRio medical center in Brazil today to take part in a blood drive, but they turned her away. They told Naomi her bloody was too bitchy. No, they said she has to wait until she has surgery in February to remove a cyst. A bitchy cyst.

Naomi wanted to give up some of her blood to help fight a dengue fever epidemic.

I'm surprised she didn't start stabbing them all with needles after they turned her down. Nobody turns Naomi down! Her blood turned them down.

It's ok. Naomi's not alone. I so much as step foot into a blood drive and they all look at me like I'm stepping into church. The joint immediately shuts down and CLOSED signs go up everywhere.

Source

Thanks Pad

29-year-old glamour model, Jodie Marsh, took off the layers of make-up and sperm from her face to pose all natural. DO NOT WANT! She kind of looks like Brenda Blethyn. This is just a big fat NO. Jodie owes her life to the Revlon corporation.

Jodie did do it for a good cause. Jodie did it as part of a Refuge charity campaign for victims of domestic violence. Thankfully though, this was just a one time deal. Jodie told Now Magazine (via DM) she isn't making a habit of this. She said, "I think there are people who need to put on more make-up and then they might pull more men. I love people who wear as much make-up as drag queens. Pamela Anderson always has well made up eyes. People say 'look how orange she is' - I can't tell you how to use a sunbed and I don't use fake tan."

She looks so....normal. Below are some pictures of the Jodie Marsh I've come to know and love. The sophisticated, elegant, classy and glamorous Jodie Marsh. That other girl without the make-up needs to go away for good.

Spencer Pratt is still shitting out the advice for Radar Magazine. He still hasn't answered my question! I seriously sent one in a while ago. RUDE!!! He's too busy trimming his vanilla pubestache. This week Spencie gets green:

YO SPENCER! I drive a Jeep Grand Cherokee and I love it, but lately I've been feeling bad, because it's not good for the environment. Should I trade it in?

I feel your pain every time I fill my ride up. It's a '68 BMW that costs over $60 to fill. If you're not down with any of the hybrid SUVs, step up your game with other environment issues. Recycle, turn off the water if you're brushing your teeth, use towels more than once, turn off lights, buy recycled or green products. Other than that, suck it up.

Spencie can do better than that! His girlfriend is 100% plastic, so he should throw her ass in a recycle bin. It would do a world of good in more ways than one. He might even get a couple of quarters out of it. While we're at it, we might as well turn Spencie into manure. He is full of shit. The plants need him!

Here's these two tools walking the streets of NYC last night.

Pete Wentz has already denied that his douche semen knocked up Ashlee. However, Ashlee wants to keep the fun and games going. She talked about the rumors during a taping of MTV's TRL today.

Ass dodged the pregnancy question and said that if all the rumors about her were true she "would have had a baby by now." How do we know she hasn't had a baby by now? I always thought Jessica's baby girl, Daisy, sort of looked like Ashlee. Daisy has Ashlee's original nose.

All this "is she or isn't she" pregnant crap is Papa Joe's doing. He saw how much attention Beyonce was getting for her "maybe wedding," so he decided to produce his own version with lame results.

Here's Ass, Jess, Daisy and Tina Simpson at JFK yesterday. Daisy, I know you're Ass' secret love child! Bark twice if I'm right.

UPDATE: Asshole denied she was knocked up to Life & Style. They asked her if the rumors were true and she said "NO!" A source also told the magazine that Ass would never get knocked up before marriage, because her daddy is so religious. The source said, “Because she’s so religious, she’d definitely want to be married before bringing a child into the world.” Religious my ass lips! God doesn't like lip-synchers.

We need to invite the producers of "The Bachelor" over for a viewing party of "Rock of Love" and "Flavor of Love," because they have no idea what a major reality skank fight looks like. The clip above was billed as "the most shocking confrontation in Bachelor history." I have arguments like this on a daily basis with the dude who works at my local deli. WALK OFF!

This not-so-shocking argument went down between Marshana and the other girls, because they really had nothing else better to do. Marshana got pissed, because her "character was called into question" after Chelsea accused her of not wanting to be there. Marshana did get pretty upset. I thought her ten-head was going to turn into a twenty-head. Shayne weakly tried to purr Marshana away from the fight.

Shayne reminds me more and more of Nermal from Garfield. She totally thinks she's the "cutest pussy in the world." Okay, she is.

Marshana is pretty hot though. Anybody that has the ability to say, "I am a great person. I am nice, I am friendly, I am loving, I am so giving and thoughtful and charitable. I am a great person and nobody can convince me otherwise" is delusional enough to be pretty fun at parties. Sadly, Matt didn't agree with me about Marshana being hot and he sent her back to Brooklyn.

The look on Robin's face after she was eliminated with Marshana could kill kittens. I was waiting for her to pull Matt's heart out of his body. Instead, Robin tried to be some sort of diva and threw Matt an icy stare before saying "Bonsoir."

Next week is going to be soooo good. Lorenzo Lamos on The Bachelor equals GOLD! This is his greatest credit since "Air America."

MC Skank Whore: Heidi Montag raps as well as she sings - Just Jared

Luke Macfarlane comes out - Towleroad

John Mayer's new tattoo sleeve - Popsugar

Kristen Bell and Russell Brand's sex scene - Hollywood Tuna

Avril Lavigne gets felt up in a park (site NSFW) - Drunken Stepfather

Brangelina's kids get ice cream for breakfast - Hollywood Rag

Sienna's got camel toe - Egotastic!

Eva LongWHORIA owes her life to Photoshop - A Socialite's Life

Brit Brit drinks and drives - Cityrag