Funny shit! Carrie Underwear named "Smile of the Year" by some dentist magazine -Popbytes
Ricky Martin buys his own island - Towleroad
Brangaloonies better whip out their Passports! Brangelina's in France - ICYDK
Jason Lee is having a baby! - Celebitchy
Fishy has a fucked up knee - I'm Not Obsessed
Katie Price will not be Elvira - SOW
Heidi & Spencer defend Hannah Montana - Best Week Ever
New Kids on the Block announced their initial tour dates for their upcoming tour and they are playing stadiums. For real? I thought these bitches were going to play 99 Cent Store parking lots and County Fairs. These hos better not even think of charging $250 a ticket like George Michael. Can you believe that shit? Ok, NKOTB can charge $250 as long as Expose, Seduction, Sweet Sensation and the Cover Girls join the line-up.
Here are some of the first dates:
Sat 9/20/08 - Montreal, Quebec Bell Centre
Sun 9/21/08 Toronto, ON Air Canada Center
Tue 9/23/08 East Rutherford, NJ Izod Center
Wed 9/24/08 Uniondale, NY Nassau VETERANS MEMORIAL Coliseum
Fri 9/26/08 Boston, MA TD Banknorth Garden
Sat 9/27/08 Atlantic City, NJ Borgata Hotel and Casino Event Center
Sat 10/4/08 Chicago, IL Allstate Arena
I'm really thinking of traveling to Boston for this mess. Seeing their die-hard fans from the 80s all grown up with the SAME hair would make my year.
JLo's new show for TLC isn't being called a reality show. Shit, it shouldn't even be called a show. JLo's manager told People that the show will not feature Skeletor or the Dragon Tales twins. The show will only be about JLo's new crappy ass perfume.
Her manager said, “The recent show Jennifer Lopez plans to produce for TLC is not a reality show. It’s a show that will track the creation, production and eventual launch of a new fragrance. Jennifer will appear in a creative, entrepreneurial capacity and will absolutely not feature her children and family life.”
Wow. How fucking riveting. I'd rather spend the evening scrubbing bathroom grout than watching this borefest. Seriously, scrubbing grout is very therapeutic. You should try it sometime.
Anyway, it sounds like her show is going to stink as bad as her new perfume. It's smart not to call it a reality show since there's nothing real about this fake bitch.
There's a new look-alike power lesbian couple in town!
Clay Gayken almost wore the same outfit as his date! Talk about dodging an embarrassing bullet. To be honest, Gayken's rack would have looked more luscious in that dress.
Gayken and one of his "Spermalot" cast mates were photographed leaving a performance of "The Lion King" last night. I'm sure the night ended with the two doing each other's roots while talking about the best and worst vibrators.
UPDATE: Gayken isn't coming from The Liong King. He's coming from the Broadway Cares/Equity Fights AIDS Easter Bonnet competition. Gayken and his Spermalot cast mate performed a song together.
Cristian de la Fuente ruptured a tendon in his hot bicep, but he will go on with the show! Cristian injured himself on Monday's Dancing with the Nobodies and it wasn't known if he was going to go on with the competition. During last night's elimination, he said if viewers didn't vote him out, he will stay on. Viewers didn't vote him out.
The doctor told him he needs surgery, but they can put it off for a while. Oh shit! I hope his arm doesn't pop off on live TV. Ok....I hope it does and that's wrong of me to wish that, but...you know.
Cristian was saved and blow-up doll Shannon Elizabeth was sent home.
That means another week of that mop head Cheryl Burke! Ugh! I really just want to dip her in hot bleach water and the scrub the fuck out of my bathroom floor with her.
Something tells me Cristian might turn into Paula Abdul next week. Think of all the pain killers he's going to down to deal with the pain. Delicious.
Last night, I posted a clip of Paula Abdul confusing us and herself when she let the Vicodin tea get the best of her while judging Jason Castro. Paula judged Jason for two songs even though he sang just one. Paula tried to explain to ET what the hell happened.
Paula said, "It got very confusing ... the producers come up to us in the dark and said, 'We are not going to have you guys judge after each performer, we are going to have all the performers go once, then twice and at the end critique them. "
Paula said this surprised her, so she quickly tried to write notes for all performances. When Ryan called on her to judge Jason, she got confused, "I was trying to give my critique for Jason Castro, and scribbled Jason's name, and that was DAVID [COOK]'s! ... We all just screwed up everything. This is live television. This is fun!"
Oh Paula! Just take another sip from your Coca-Cola cup, sit in the corner and count all the little elves you see scurrying around in front of you. I'm sure that will keep you busy for a few hours.
Thank the fuck for Paula Abdul! She was the only source of real entertainment on last night's show! I even forgot what the hell any of them sang. The only thing I remember is Fetus Archuleta belting out "America." He's no Kristy Lee Cook and I'm not sure if that's a good or a bad thing.
Basically, the toddler and David Cook are safe. Those two saps are going to battle it out in the finals. Please, this has been planned for weeeeeeks. So...here's my bottom 2:
Brooke White: It's this snatch's time. I can't stand to look at her "secretary trying to be fashionable" outfits anymore. I also find myself making her "woe is me" grimace whenever she comes onstage. I can already predict how she's going to ruin a song before she starts singing. She sits at the piano and does her absolute worse Tori Amos impersonation. Bitch is going home tonight and I'll toast to that!
Syesha Mercado: It's either Jason or this Broadway fag. The stoners will keep Jason alive for a couple more weeks. He's final 3.
Honestly, they should just eliminate all of those hags and declare Paula Abdul the winner of American Idol. She's one of the only reasons for watching this shit anymore.
Clip of Paula's insanity in case you missed it:
For the first time, Britney's boys reveal why they were born by C-section. She attempted natural twice only to leave them scarred for life. - d_rose
These 2 learned the hard way that you don't pass out at John Travolta's parties. - Stumpy
The Backward Cap Club for Men, no one will ever guess you are bald when all they can see is stupid. - Conky
Methmatch.com: Bringing tweakers together since '93 - DUDE
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