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The trash TV gods were shining down upon us, because those dumb whores at Time Warner and Viacom decided to put their dicks away and settle their bitch fight. I swear, I was about to shuffle down to Time Warner and throw used condoms at their asses, because they were going to make me miss the Charm School Reunion Show (clip above)! If I didn't' get to see Sharon Osbourne take down that fat faced slut Megan, I was going to cut everyone's cable lines. If I can't see that shit, nobody can!

I can put my rusty razor away, because Vh1 and 18 other channels didn't go dark for Time Warner customers this morning. The dumb bitch CEO of Time Warner said, "We are pleased that our customers will continue to be able to watch the customers will continue to be able to watch the programming they enjoy on MTV Networks. We are sorry they had to endure a day of public disagreement as we worked through this negotiation."

They wouldn't say what the new terms of the deal are, but you better believe they are going to be charging us more. Even if they don't need to, they will, because now they have an excuse. Those greedy whores loves to roll around in as much money as possible.

I'm still giving the side-eye to both Time Warner and Viacom, but at least I have my Vh1 and Dora the Explorer! Seriously, Dora is some good shit, but only when you're stooooned.

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This is why Kathy Griffin and Mah Boo should co-host every single show on every single channel during every single time slot. Don't even listen to my babbling about the clip above, this shit speaks for itself. I mean, all Mah Boo wanted to talk and giggle about was his undying love for The Real Housewives of Atlanta and then Kathy just had to go and make my life by telling some drunktard on the street, "I'm working! "I don't go to your job and knock the dicks out of your mouth!" Yes, it's a line from Mr. Show, but Kathy used it with grace and class. She also gets ten million bonus points for saying it front of Mah Boo. Why oh why wasn't there a camera on his adorable face when she said that?! His face probably went from pasty white to magenta in 3 seconds flat and then he exploded from the giggles.

And no, I wasn't the drunk heckler on the street, but Kathy can come to my job and knock the dicks out of my mouth anytime she fucking wants.

Sushi the New Year's Eve Drag Queen! - Every New Year's Eve, the ball drops in Times Square in NYC. Well, in Key West, FL. they drop Sushi the drag queen in a big red shoe. This hot bitch was live on CNN last night and I saw the way she flirted with Mah Boo Anderson Cooper. She better be careful, because I'll push her out of that red shoe and beat her down with it if she tries that shit again. That said, she's hot in every way.

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