While security was taking a brain vacation, a crazy Brit Brit fan (totally redundant, right?) fluttered onto the stage while she was performing at the Mohegan Sun in Connecticut last night. The Cheeto lover managed to get right in Brit Brit's face before anyone even realized there was any stalker shit going down. If you watch the clip above, you can see Brit Brit is just sort of standing there, kind of paralyzed (or maybe that's what she calls dancing?) while he busts his glitter on her.
Brit probably asked him, "Is yooz tha purdy purdy fairy thet visited me in mah dreams last night? Eff ahs jump on yer shoulders will yooz fly me to tha lands where it's always Christmas, Cheetos grow on trees, Frapp rains frum tha skies an' mah pussy is nevah hangin' out?" Before he could answer her, Brit's back-up dancers and security shuffled him away.
According to TMZ, police say the 20-year-old Britaloonie goes by the name of Kyle King and had obviously been getting crunk last night. PURPLE DRANK, I assume? Anyway, Kyle got real grouchy-like with police, so they arrested him and booked him for effing with the cops. Kyle was released this morning on $250 bail.
You'd think that after the PURPLE DRANK haze wore off, Kyle would've immediately strapped himself into a straitjacket and checked into the nearest loony bin, but he didn't do this. Instead, he went on YouTube to explain the fuckery! Kyle says he's not crazy, he wasn't drunk and he's not Chris Crocker. Okay, okay, whatever you say! I think I'm more concerned about his blonde hair/dark eyebrow combo. How should I feel about this? I mean, some of my favorite gorgeous cholita beauties have platinum hair matched with jet black Sharpie eyebrows. Hmmm... I'm going to take a bong hit and process.
Lily Allen was at Selfridge's 100th birthday party when she came face to face with the glamorous queen of glamour, Joan Collins. Lily Twittered (via The Sun) that when she went to kiss my icon and personal role model on the cheek, Joan responded with, "I don't kiss people I don't know." I think I would've had a seizure from being exposed to such high levels of bitchery and glamour.
Lily should've sniped back at her. Then Joan would've slapped her, stole her man, bought majority shares in her company and then pushed her into a fountain. Really, you haven't lived until you've been destroyed by Alexis Morell Carrington Dexter Rowan Colby.
Here's THE BITCH, with a hot piece and Lily at Selfridges in London the other night.
What in two dollahs for a blow job Hell is going on in these pictures? I feel like I stumbled onto an escort's ad on Craigslist. I feel like the text "Naturaly...sweet hottie I'll give that 'ultimate experience' you'll never forget.. 100 Percent REAL PiCS.... 100 Percent ME! DONT MiSS OUT!! SIXTY 15 1HUNDRED HH 1FIFTY HR" should accompany these pictures.
These are some pictures of our little HoHan taken in a hotel room just before the FBI busted in and arrested her for solicitation. You can watch it all unfold on a special episode of Dateline NBC next week. No, HoHan posed like she was workin' it for an 8-ball just before she hosted a party at Tribe in Montreal. Hey, a bitch has got to make that money, I guess. Peddle that no-ass.
The paps say that while she was leaving the club, a dude grabbed her titty and then she fell on the floor. From starring in a movie with Jane Fonda to THIS? Get your exquisite lucite heels ready, HoHan. The Rock of Love Bus is about to pull up.
The Potty-Mouthed Parrot - A mother in London bought this toy parrot for her 5-year-old daughter in the children's toy section thinking it would blurt out regular stuff like "Polly want a cracker" or "What's yer name?" Instead, when her 5-year-old pulled its string, the parrot squawked, "I'm going to rip you head off and shit down your neck, "Bugger off!" and "Up your bum!" Obviously, this parrot went to the Dlisted School of Language. He graduated Magnum Cum FUCKOFF. When the mother complained, the store apologize and said it was really meant for adults. Duh. But the mother should've realized that parrot was trouble. Just look at his beady eyes!
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