Take Me Out To The Barf Game
This is some Lardass from Stand By Me shit! Meet 21-year-old Matthew Clemmens who was arrested after he projectile vomited all over an off-duty cop and his 11-year-old daughter at a Phillies game on Wednesday. It probably tasted better than the sauerkraut on their hot dogs. Sorry.
USA Today says the barf started brewing when Matthew's friend was kicked out of the stadium after Police Capt. Michael Vangelo complained to security about their drunktard ways which included cursing and spitting at people. When Matthew's friend was escorted out of the place, he retaliated by putting his tubby ass fingers down his throat and barfing all over Capt. Michael and his daughter. Capt. Michael said, "It was the most vile, disgusting thing I've ever seen, and I've seen the Mini-Me sex tape!" No, he didn't say that last part.
It gets barfier. When police arrived to arrest Matthew, he ralphed on another officer. In addition to attacking the officers with the insides of his stomach (which probably smelled like a house on Hoarders) Matthew also punched a couple of cops.
Matthew is currently in jail on charges including assault and harassment.
If I had a heart, I'd throw it out to that 11-year-old girl, because she is traumatized for life. She won't ever be able to watch Star Wars without interruptions again. Every time Jabba the Hutt comes on the screen, she'll scream while running for the nearest shower. Why oh why does Matthew have to look like Jabba with a wig on?
And there's some good news for Matthew. Once the other inmates hear why he's locked up, they will stay away from his mouth at all costs. Even jailed criminals don't like vom on the peen.
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I like that, even jailed criminals don't like vomit on their peens.
PuppyJuice.com
I thought I saw that woman in Duvall Washington driving a truck.
With those bulimia skillz you'd think he'd be slimmer?!
Submitted by mike on Fri, 04/16/2010 - 12:41pm.
Believe it or not, but I haven't vomited since I was in elementary school. I'm *wince* 37 years old.
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I haven't since 1996 and I don't think I've hiccuped since some time in the 90's *jinkx touch wood*
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Brian: You're drunk.
Stewie: You're sexy.
fucking filthy pig...cops should've tazed this fat fucker and rubbed his face in the vomit as he went down...
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what you gonna do? tell mom and dad I put your dick sucking list on facebook?” – "i love facebook like you love cock..."
id rather hump cacti than stand anywhere near this walking vomit disorder.
=== "Find...And Fulfill...Your Destiny..." ===
Ah, the feminizing power of obesity.
Beth Ditto's looking hot!
Wow, she's a beauty!
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Well, it WAS a Phillies game....
Haha, nice shiner ya fat fug PIG!!! Matthew is no saint.
LOL at MK @ vom on the peen!
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→←...When you come to a fork in the road, take it...◘•♣♣ Yogi Berra →←
What a disgusting pig!
Wow that is fucking crazy! Who does that?
I don't know why this post made me laugh so much. I guess I can't stand most cops, they act so fucking righteous all the time. And they have that dumb cop humor that gets on my nerves. I do feel sorry for the little girl. I can only imagine she's likely to be traumatized for life thanks to this fat pig. When she's an adult she'll probably never complain about anything in public for fear of getting barfed on..geeeez
Man, I feel so bad for the little girl that got vomited on. Poor kid. This douchebag has to ruin the whole outing for people.
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"Wait until the bitch finds the family of wombats living in her chocha." - MK
Looks like bitch got a little baton-massage for his trouble. Alcohol--that's a hell of a drug...
the only time you will ever hear me say this:
But if i were that cop....and i watched this fat fuck purposely gag himself to puke on me?? And my KID??
This story would have ended differently.
I HATE assholes at the game who can't hold their booze. Fucking amateurs. Gotta ruin it for every poor innocent that has the misfortune be seated near them.
This guy should be beaten with a nightstick. But judging by his fug, bloated, globe head, nobody would notice the difference.
Submitted by Dog on Fri, 04/16/2010 - 12:14pm.
Dog STFU.
Filthy fuggin piece of shit. Poor lil girl.
He looks like a young version of Meatloaf.
Shut up you ugly poo-faced git!
I can only imagine how much vomit flowed from this pig's stomach. Poor little girl was probably covered from head to toe. Once a sloppy lard-ass, always a sloppy lard-ass.
Submitted by ditquoi on Fri, 04/16/2010 - 12:16pm.
finally, androgyny dude is from Cherry Hill? I thought that's an upscale neighborhood.
It is an upscale area. But, just like Hollywood, you have your scum, aka, the Hiltons, Kartrasians, the Davis', etc.
That fat bastard should of been arrested and brought to jail for disorderly conduct plus given a beaten on the way.
If you didnt know BBW porn is the 2nd highest rated porn bought, rented, viewed home in private. So there are some people out there that like it an awful lot.
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@M.E. I just watched Seven the other nite 2x on IFC, once at 12pm then again I was still up at 3 or 4 am, sad Insomnia sucks.Submitted by M.E. on
This is the most disgusting thing. I would have punched the shit out of Jabba the Hut here.
He needs to be force fed till his gut explodes. GLUTTONY!
Fat bastard
ahahahaha fucking WORK! bastards think it's monday or some shit.
*sweeps snowy off her feet*
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"poor jacko, trying to struggle thru this world with one eye and the womenz just keep fucking his shit UP!" snowpiece 11/25/09
BOO, YOU WHORE. MissJaneTexas 04/14/10
jack! where have you been, hold me!!!!!
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"This is MK. He started it" angel_i
"snowpiece is officially to be known as hopiece from here on out." TheBreakdown
"Pray for us Oranges" CHIRIO
Thank God for Ricky Martin, because without him we'd have a page full of posts about Wino/Wonky/Giant leeches/this retarded shit.
Submitted by onthefringe on Fri, 04/16/2010 - 12:52pm.
If he is so insulted, maybe he can clear things up then? I haven't been involved in any discussions on the topic. Thanks for answering for him.
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I didn't mean to sound snippy.
He posted about it a few weeks ago in Open Post.
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That is okay. i'm sorry. I've been following this site for years, only recently have i noticed the difference in writing. I didn't mean to make it a big deal, just something i noticed.
What? he barfed all over a police captain and he didn't get his fat ass tased into oblivion?. Meh. I would've tased his fucking ass just for being an obnoxious fugly and fat drunkard.
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-"I am not about to deal with unstable people" - HEART ANGELINA.
fat fuck
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"poor jacko, trying to struggle thru this world with one eye and the womenz just keep fucking his shit UP!" snowpiece 11/25/09
BOO, YOU WHORE. MissJaneTexas 04/14/10
Submitted by Bo on Fri, 04/16/2010 - 12:56pm.
Hello, what? He's 21 with an 11 year old daughter! Must be a typo in there somewhere.
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LMAO!!! She's the OFF DUTY cop's daughter ahahaaa Why he puke on his own kid?
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POOP (nourish the inner asshole)
Submitted by ImpertinentVixen on Fri, 04/16/2010 - 12:55pm.
Oh, Dog, that is apt: Hohan playing a nasty used-up porn star like Linda Lovelace!
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Talk about art imitating life! How many times you think she has been on her knees for a bump?
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I'm not a coke addict - I just like the way it smells.
http://www.modestneeds.org/
Submitted by Violet on Fri, 04/16/2010 - 12:51pm.
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I agree that writing styles are somewhat different, and I am just chalking it up to mebbe MK tweeking his style while learning how to write through an online expository class.
Hello, what? He's 21 with an 11 year old daughter! Must be a typo in there somewhere.
Oh, Dog, that is apt: Hohan playing a nasty used-up porn star like Linda Lovelace!
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"You sir, have the charisma of a damp rag and the appearance of a low-grade bank clerk."
Poor 11YO girl. She thought losing her V-card was something OTHER than having this porktard vomit on her.
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"You, sir, have the charisma of a damp rag and the appearance of a low-grade bank clerk."
If he is so insulted, maybe he can clear things up then? I haven't been involved in any discussions on the topic. Thanks for answering for him.
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I didn't mean to sound snippy.
He posted about it a few weeks ago in Open Post.
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Larry King: "What is the secret to a lasting marriage?"
Paul Newman: "Lust, respect, patience and determination."
Submitted by onthefringe on Fri, 04/16/2010 - 12:45pm.
This has already been talked about ad nauseum.
He is still writing and is insulted by insinuations to the contrary
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If he is so insulted, maybe he can clear things up then? I haven't been involved in any discussions on the topic. Thanks for answering for him.
If you can buy some newports for 6 bucks in Philly then u can puke on of duty cop any time
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There is always a shoe for everything
Bubba doesn't care if his peen smells like vom, throw this loser in the cage with Bubba and he'll teach him a lesson about vomiting.
Submitted by Violet on Fri, 04/16/2010 - 12:41pm.
I don't think Michael K is writing anymore.
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And we're not in Kansas anymore. Shhhhh. Pass it on!
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I'm not a coke addict - I just like the way it smells.
http://www.modestneeds.org/
Just another angry, bitter white guy.
Like Phillies fans don't have a bad enough reputation. Way to go, Assmunch.
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I worship at the Church of Brian Kinney.
Submitted by mike on Fri, 04/16/2010 - 12:41pm.
Believe it or not, but I haven't vomited since I was in elementary school. I'm *wince* 37 years old.
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VOMIT-FREE SINCE '83.
Submitted by Violet on Fri, 04/16/2010 - 12:41pm.
I don't think Michael K is writing anymore.
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This has already been talked about ad nauseum.
He is still writing and is insulted by insinuations to the contrary.
<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>
Larry King: "What is the secret to a lasting marriage?"
Paul Newman: "Lust, respect, patience and determination."
I don't think Michael K is writing anymore.
Believe it or not, but I haven't vomited since I was in elementary school. I'm *wince* 37 years old.
OMFG! BWAHAHA! I know this is off topic and I'm sorry but, LOOK!
http://www.nypost.com/p/pagesix/oral_history_MJ2QhbZBX9vduxnmNqcBjP
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I'm not a coke addict - I just like the way it smells.
http://www.modestneeds.org/
WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU SAW YOUR DICK!?!?!?
*VOMITS ALL OVER THREAD!*
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"This is MK. He started it" angel_i
"snowpiece is officially to be known as hopiece from here on out." TheBreakdown
"Pray for us Oranges" CHIRIO