Monday, August 30th 2010

This Is The Look: Rita Wilson's Tribute To The Empress Of Lucite

You really can't say shit about the crystal chandelier bukkake Rita Wilson wore on her body to the Emmys last night. This is made of every kind of sparkly YES! How can you throw shade on an ensemble that could keep a million cats entertained for hours? How can you stamp "FUG" on a dress that looks like Liberace's boy catching net? I just want to gently tap a fork on Rita's ass and make a speech about how much I love all of this right down to the "Ode to Shauna Sand" lucite heels!

THOSE EXQUISITE LUCITE HEELS! This is exactly what Shauna Sand's elegant feet look like after she spends a day floating above the burning sand. Oh yes, Shauna's feet sweat IS made of sparkly crystal. And now you know thanks to Rita!

Posted by: Michael K
Khensu Hetep's picture

Those "pimples" on her legs are known as freckles.

The shoes are ugly, the whole outfit is ugly, but she herself looks fine. Many people are just exaggerating her "flaws" (which really would be a non-issue for your average middle-income person) for the sake of criticism.

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R.I.P Ronnie James Dio :(

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z8GsmcWjT6c
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rt3gYfEGChs&feature=related

kndall44's picture

I didn't know Rita was preggers!

...or did she swallow a life preserver??

A Noun _is a person place or thing_'s picture

And Rachel Zoe pointed at her saying, "Taylor did that."

TITS's picture

@ stake sp

now now, let's not be toooo harsh. her handbag and one of her bracelets doesn't match with the 'ensemble'.

.o.o.o.o.0.0.0.O.O.O.0.0.0.o.o.o.o.
Internet fakers: http://tinyurl.com/y94sh4m http://bit.ly/1rcnEc

stake_spike's picture

All of Tom Hank's money and this is the best she could do? Fug. And the matchy matchy makes me wanna puke.

CORNDOG's picture

I really thought the velcro was a bandaid too. Maybe she has the Arthur Itis and can't buckle her shoe any more. Her gut is out there like an old alky. Tom looks like the bloat has got him too. Her legs are kinda white and hairy/pimply. Not looking good Rita/whatever your name is.

TITS's picture

We should be thankful for small mercies. At least she wore a shift underneath it.

You just KNOW SS wouldn't have.

.o.o.o.o.0.0.0.O.O.O.0.0.0.o.o.o.o.
Internet fakers: http://tinyurl.com/y94sh4m http://bit.ly/1rcnEc

Kandykane's picture

Gawd, could she possibly look any more mumsy? Where to start? The matronly shapeless figure? That horrid Prada? Those SHOES?? She looks like the matriarch of a white trash family who got invited, for once, to the local country club for a steak and fry dindins. YUK. Living proof that money does not buy style.

karmaskull's picture

I co-sign OXA...Rita is going for the wacky look to take attention away from her new face...she looks like Jo Beth Williams (the mom from Poltergeist):
http://www.topnews.in/jobeth-williams-14th-annual-screen-actors-guild-aw...

And is your avie a golliwogg OXA?

Submitted by OXA on Mon, 08/30/2010 - 12:58pm.
I think she did the chandlier look to take the attention off her facework.

*******"Curtsy motherfuckers!" - Michael K. 04/30/10*******************

Somewhere in LA there is a drag queen screaming "THIEF"

Echo27's picture

I almost choked when I read "Liberace's boy catching net". Good one, MK.

That outfit is fucking hideous. The white velcro? It looks like she's wearing a band-aid. The sad part is that get-up probably cost a pretty penny.

"Google me, you dumb fuck!", said some punk bitch rookie cop.

Niko's picture

I like it. Much better than the godawful curtains worn be the MM cast. So horrible that I wouldn't even want to use these rags to decorate my garden shed.

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Auri sacra fames

Whatever's picture

Going through a mid-life crisis or something? I could see those shoes on a 5 dollar hooker.

angel_i's picture

Retard.

♥ Threadkilla!
We didn't start the Flame War:
http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1907543
What's the point of havin' a rapier wit if I can't use it to stab people?
~ Jeph Jacques

Submitted by Hekki on Mon, 08/30/2010 - 12:38pm.
1. Did a student from FIT make those?
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Brilliant!

Green Is Good's picture

Did she gets dressed in the dark? YUCK!

scallywagy's picture

Opulence has a new name. It’s called Rita Wilson. Sticky bathroom walls also have a new name, coincidentally also called Rita Wilson.

http://scallywagandvagabond.com/2010/08/rita-wilson-wants-to-show-you-he...

OXA's picture

I think she did the chandlier look to take the attention off her facework.

Yeah, that's a nice touch...white velcroe backing, shsowing through on her clear sandal strap. Not!

moomarse's picture

She looks preggers.... am I the last to know?

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It sounds like I'll need to be drunk, stoned and suffering from a minor concussion to deal with this fuckery. MK - November 2008

Jester's picture

All she needs is an ankle bracelet made of rubber grapes to complete the look.

Hekki's picture

Oh, and they fasten with VELCRO? Even my $12 jelly sandals have a fucking buckle.

One more thing: Last night I was watching "Splash" with my daughters who are going through a mermaid phase. Tom Hanks used to be so darn adorable.

Hekki's picture

1. Did a student from FIT make those? That is some shoddy craftsmanship. They were probably pitched as "couture" or "one of a kind, handmade". SUCKAH!

2. I thought she was supposed to be somewhat classy.

3. She is having some kind of mid-life crisis. I predict a lesbian affair, a brush cut and a move to the desert to paint like Georgia O'Keeffe.

Eddie's picture

Leave them babies ON

KittenKatinCanada's picture

She's a walking wind chime. At the after party, she passed up the champagne and only drank Crystal Light.

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"This is what we call the floating world . . .” (Ryoi, c.1661)

" . . . the world needs to be shut down. I mean it this time. SHUT IT DOWN". (MK, c.2009)

Rita is merely unleashing her inner Jackie Suzanne. Undoubtedly she threw down a handful of "dolls" before dressing, thereby enabling her to put on those hideous 70s flashbacks.

"What's your motto?" "Kill everyone NOW"

LisaRose's picture

As nice as Tom Hanks is, he MUST have groaned when she put on this outfit and asked if she looked okay!!

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I Love You More
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Visan's picture

Rita Wilson looks insane! Why did Tom Hanks allow his wifey-poo to walk outta the house lookin' like a complete idiot!?

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You got that?!

Pygar2000's picture

Those shoes belong to either Zsa Zsa or Liz! They also know how to wear them correctly--they belong ONLY with a lavish and luxurious caftan, preferably with marabou trim. You should only get a peep of them sitting on the foot holders of the chair!

coca's picture

Poor poor Tom

Rita can buy another pair of shoes but Tom will have the bloats forever.

Jeepster's picture

Okay - hate to say it - but cue to a divorce in about 6 weeks. Rita looks confused and Hanks looks embarassed. Wasn't there a blind item about Hanks and a pole dancer about a year ago????

something is WRONG there....

"vaya con huevos mi amigos"

snowpiece's picture

Evil_Cupcake ha ha me either but they popped into my head when looking at Rita's shoes

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►I'm a free bitch, baby◄
"Give me a red velvet with a heaping sprinkling of FUCK on top!" MK

Stan Hooper's picture

I give Rita a thumbs down for this fuckery.

blah!

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Brevity may be the soul of wit, but to twit without wit is soulless -- Johanne Savoie

OHPLEAZ's picture

Nasty! People are making fun of January Jones for her outfit?!?! This takes the cake for worst dress and the shoes look like something you do in arts and crafts.

Submitted by snowpiece on Mon, 08/30/2010 - 10:22am.
the thing about these shoes is they are trying to bring the glamour but underneath the bling they look like a pair of sensible shoes, Cobby Cudlers or something, are they wedges?

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Ahahahaha! Cobby Cuddlers! I haven't heard of those in ages!

Can't wait for tonight's Fashion Police special. They no longer have Kloe Kardashian so I won't have to hear her complain about actresses' "backfat" when she herself isn't perfect. Kelly Osbourne is replacing her so I'm pretty sure she won't talk about ppl in that same way.

d-nice's picture

can we thank rachel zoe for this one?

rita never struck me as an attention whore, so why start now?

d-nice's picture

can we thank rachel zoe for this one?

rita never struck me as an attention whore, so why start now?

Submitted by agirl on Mon, 08/30/2010 - 10:59am.

Dear Rita,

Oh honey no. Not that dress and not those shoes. You are too old for this nonsense.

Sincerely,

Everyone
___________________

Thanks AGirl, I hope Rita gets the fking memo for next time.

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"Fk the Force, Hor!"

agirl's picture

Dear Rita,

Oh honey no. Not that dress and not those shoes. You are too old for this nonsense.

Sincerely,

Everyone

Never mind the tinkly noise, how could rita sit down with those crystals on the dress and not worry about cracking or breaking them? Even when these dresses are the watered down and copied by the knock off kings of the fashion world, they use at least plastic. How do you keep them from cracking and falling apart? I wore a real designer beaded dress once and was having a "Lucy" moment when I realized I couldn't sit down without worrying if I would be crunching the heck out of those beads. Oh wait I just realized that the crystal part of the can come off I think....But why the fuck would you take it off? And wear would you put in the mean time? LOL!!!!!

Snideychick sez:

That whole outfit should be grounds for divorce!

Cake666's picture

O_O

B!i!i!iD~
For your health.

eat.pray.vomit's picture

Why isn't there a field sobriety test for cocaine?

eat.pray.vomit's picture

There were so many epic fails last night.

SpiceDong's picture

sitting for hours on those beads digging on her ass can't be comfortable...her nalgas must be beat today and full of bruises and indentations. And I bet whenever she moved the noise made everyone crazy.

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"A man has so much more to offer...you know what I mean?" - Blanche Devereaux
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Dirk Diggler's picture

Meet Nancy Sinatra circa 1967.

Ellie May's picture

http://www.redcarpet-fashionawards.com/2010/08/30/2010-emmy-awards-rita-...

Prada dress.
Prada heels.
Prada HELL.

Rita wearing the runway version would have REALLY made a statement.

parissucksliterally's picture

Snarkley, although we all know she is lying, we also know she's going to get away with this shit.

Infuriating.

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If I could recapture all of the memories and bring them to life, surely I would
-Mariah Carey "Vanishing"