Hide Your Ovaries, Lil Wayne Is Out Of The Chokey!
After serving 8-months on a 1-year sentence for criminal possession of a weapon, the Womb Raiding Goblin of Louisiana has strut out of Rikers Island in NYC and is breathing in freedom...and fertile eggs. Seriously, wrap your cooch in Saran Wrap dipped in Spermicide, because I hear Lil Wayne's jizz fishes can fly.
USA Today reports that Weezy (insert Weezy Jefferson's "Does Not Approve" face here) has already made plans for his big homecoming. Mack Maine, the president of Lil Wayne's record label, says that he will bask in the applause from a dozen clapping stripper asses at a titty club in Miami on Sunday. Mack Maine went on to say this mess, " We will treat him like a king, like the royalty that he is, and make him feel like we really missed him and welcome him back to the family, basically."
But the party will end in the next coming months when a few Rikers Island inmates, a couple correctional officers, a jail house rat or two, and whoever was responsible for cleaning up Lil Wayne's dick milk rags each birth out a Weezy Jr.
And in the parking lot of a strip club in New York state, Bill Clinton has just lit up a cigar in Weezy's honor.
Expect a Bill Clinton/Lil Wayne collabo any day now.
II was hoping someone would shank this asshole in prison.
This is the first time I've been thankful for only have one ovary. Less to protect.
I hate Lil' Wang and his music.
I remember hearing one of his songs for the first time and feeling homicidal. If songs made you feel claustrophobic and nauseous, it was this one in particular. That police officer song is one of the worst ones I've ever heard.
And like with Justin Timberflake, the visual of him doing anything sexual makes my vag want to heal shut. He looks like one of those jungle pygmies in The Mummy Returns.
★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★
"the bonus round being... a landmine field... and Ted Nugent has to be screaming 'Wango Tango!' in their ear over and over... as he joins them through the field"
-EveryStrangersEyes
" We will treat him like a king, like the royalty that he is"???? WTF mile long Side eye!!!! ha. ha..HAA!!!! yeah right this guys music is WACK! yeah I said Wack! b/c thats what it is, seriously this guy helped kill music a little more. I mean didn't we already do music a disservice when we came out with 98degrees, Nickelback, all those crappy ones from the late 90's and then beyonce and little jon types ushered in a whole new parade of fuckery. then Auto tune.... I FUCKING HATE AUTO TUNE! minimalistic watered down shit!
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Here is a rap song that I wish Weezy recorded:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GlKL_EpnSp8
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"It really is the simple things in life that give you a reason to take your pants off during a work day." -- MK
We loves ya Weezy!
i love him.. he keeps a gun in his boot purse and he don't bust back, because he shoots first... lol
~<3~<3~~<3~<3~~<3~<3~~<3~<3~~<3~<3~~<3~<3~~<3~
"Oh, mama
I wanna go surfing
Oh, mama
I don't care about nothing"
Submitted by But.Seriously.Folks on Thu, 11/04/2010 - 10:47am
I think the difference between Obama and Clinton is that Clinton could connect with people more so then Obama. I don't remember hearing about Clinton being a little standoff-ish when he was running for prez.
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He kinda reminds me of Ron Jeremy, but...not as classy! - Submitted by david Letterman
I have enough to re-name you Betty Crackwhore! - Submitted by TheBreakdown
Yeah this is really funny. What the United States really needs is more fatherless black kids. Every damn woman who can is gonna jump on this guys joy stick and try to get pregnant by him so they'll be financially set for life.
but he is a the train wreck just look at his face, what woman in her right mind sleeps with this turd? wait, many!!!! he is just plain ugly .
but yesterday was Kanye vs. Dubya,
today bill Clinton vs lil' mojon?
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"I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful, natural, wholesome things that money can buy." --Steve Martin
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Anoche mi esposa y yo estábamos sentados en la sala hablando de las muchas cosas de la vida.
Estábamos hablando de la idea de vivir o morir. Le dije: “Nunca me dejes vivir en estado vegetativo, dependiendo de una máquina y líquidos de una botella.”
-“Si me ves en ese estado, por favor desenchufa los artefactos que me mantienen vivo”.
Ella se levantó, desenchufó la televisión y me tiró la cerveza
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There was a little girl and her mother walking through the park one day and they saw two teenagers having sex on a bench.
The little girl says, "Mummy, what are they doing?" The mother hesitates then quickly replies, "Ummm they are making cakes."
The next day they are at a zoo and the little girl sees two monkeys having sex. Again she asks her mother what they are doing and her mother replies with the same response, "Making cakes."
The next day the girl says to her mother, "Mummy, you and Daddy were making cakes in the lounge last night, eh?" Shocked, the mother asks, "How do you know?"She says, "Because I licked the icing off the sofa."
Tequila, that's true. I guess my point was that there are definitely better-looking rich guys. But now that I think about it, their lack of kids is either because they're responsible, don't want to pay child support, are gay, or a combination of those reasons.
Finally the best rapper alive is FREE.
I agree with the side-eye everyone is giving Weezy's babymamas. It would take a helluva drug and alcohol haze to make me lay with that. One of his babymamas is actually very pretty. He must have showered her with gifts and money.
Ok, enough pontificating, I need some liquor.
-LOVE ANDERSON
Maybe Lil Whatever will finally get a VASECTOMY. How many illegitimate kids can a man have before he figures out how to use a condom?
wayne's drugs of choice are cough syrup/Purple Drank and alcohol, i think.
i'm not counting weed.
i just wish these guys would go home after being in jail, take a Calgon moment, invite 100 of their best friends over, and lock the doors to do what they may. don't go to the club and smoke blunts in your car like a cheech and chong movie.
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go bear.
Why does Bill care??
But anywho, he does have a certain something. Confidence, charm, smarts. Obama has it to. Swagger...they both have swagger. Maybe it a Democrat thang. I'm trying to think of a Republican with swagger. Maybe that Rubio dude in Florida. He's been cool in the few clips I've seen of him.
Ok, enough pontificating, I need some liquor.
-LOVE ANDERSON
Breaky, it's because he's a tall cuppa southern goodness, and as someone pointed out earlier, he's charm personified.
I have not met Bill Clinton, but some friends of mine have,and the females all say that he has that certain something that makes one want to pull down their ppanties.
And I don't THINK they meant Cuban cigars!
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Facebook: Triston Negreaux
http://www.myspace.com/triston
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TequilaTax he's cool but after seeing him dance......
I will now confess my lifelong crush on Joe Biden, LOL
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"I'M A VEGETARIAN. I DON'T INGEST SUFFERING"
I hope they taught him how to pull up his pants, or pick out fanicer undies.
Submitted by snowpiece on Thu, 11/04/2010 - 10:06am
Call me crazy (I am) but I was always kinda hot for Gore. I was sure that if he had the same charisma as Clinton he would have gotten twice as many chicks and won the presidency by a landslide.
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He kinda reminds me of Ron Jeremy, but...not as classy! - Submitted by david Letterman
I have enough to re-name you Betty Crackwhore! - Submitted by TheBreakdown
Submitted by TheBreakdown on Thu, 11/04/2010 - 9:50am
I blame it on the Patron. I'm thinking that you need more then beer goggles for this fool.
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He kinda reminds me of Ron Jeremy, but...not as classy! - Submitted by david Letterman
I have enough to re-name you Betty Crackwhore! - Submitted by TheBreakdown
When he ran for president, my mom was all swoony over Clinton and I never understood the appeal. Now that I'm older, I totally understand someone being charismatic and attractive but not necessarily good looking.
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Although there's pain in my chest, I still wish you the best with a "fuck you". - Cee-lo Green
OMG HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA SNOWY!!!
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"poor jacko, trying to struggle thru this world with one eye and the womenz just keep fucking his shit UP!" snowpiece 11/25/09
"Your appalling choice in women is well-known to us dlisters." Momus
Bill Clinton could implant me with his seed any time, I know my genes would cancel out whatever made Chelsea....
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"I'M A VEGETARIAN. I DON'T INGEST SUFFERING"
Submitted by jerseygirl17 on Thu, 11/04/2010 - 9:47am.
With the exception of Jon Gosslin, all of those men are rich. Don't ask me why women would still screw with someone who is that irresponsible sexually.
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He kinda reminds me of Ron Jeremy, but...not as classy! - Submitted by david Letterman
I have enough to re-name you Betty Crackwhore! - Submitted by TheBreakdown
Love me some Bill Clinton! But I wouldn't let Lil Wayne touch me with Bill's cigar. Those baby mamas are some hard up for cash hos.
Bill is still the man. Fucking swoon. He was the keynote speaker for the class before mine at my grad school's graduation. All us bitches went that year.
TequilaTax:
I understand we are in a recession. I understand times get tough. Really, I do, BUT...
how do women fix their minds to lie down with this gremlin/Gollum hybrid?
I mean, seriously?
There are not enough checks in the world!
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Facebook: Triston Negreaux
http://www.myspace.com/triston
ask me how to subscribe to Heaux Confessionals©
No amount of child support could make me look at that man and think..."Hmm, he already has countless children with countless women...oh what the hell, I'll have one too"
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That big ten-head must give you lots of brain room, huh, Goldigga - Submitted by Vern on Mon, 10/04/2010 - 9:14am
Why is it that the weirdest-looking men have the most children, usually with many different women - Waynie here, Swizz Beetz, Jon Gosselin, JimBob, Billy Ray . . . Doesn't that like, fly in the face of natural instinct? Seriously, find me the alpha male in that bunch!
Love Clinton!!
OK, ignorant me, but how many kids did come out of Lil' Wayne's sack?
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Brevity may be the soul of wit, but to twit without wit is soulless -- Johanne Savoie
Submitted by TequilaTax on Thu, 11/04/2010 - 9:31am.
Submitted by TheBreakdown on Thu, 11/04/2010 - 9:21am
Please don't give this guy any more encouragement in that area that he already has. If this keeps up, he will have more kids than the Duggars.
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Now there's a reality show for ya.
I heard on the radio there was some story about angelina jolie going crazy on brad when he called courtney cox to console her about her break up. Gotta be more interesting than this wayne snooze.
Submitted by TheBreakdown on Thu, 11/04/2010 - 9:21am
Please don't give this guy any more encouragement in that area that he already has. If this keeps up, he will have more kids than the Duggars.
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He kinda reminds me of Ron Jeremy, but...not as classy! - Submitted by david Letterman
I have enough to re-name you Betty Crackwhore! - Submitted by TheBreakdown
Submitted by DirtyWhoreMouth on Thu, 11/04/2010 - 8:57am.
Eat.pray.vomit she's saying "it feels liek I'm walking on sunshine"
She was a huffer on intervention. I'd look her episode up. Try hard not to laugh. Her name is Allison.
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LOL! did you see the follow up when she was clean? she said that she honestly thought no one noticed she was high... i thought damn that must be some good shit! :P
Jack I can't say shit.. I'm from SC.. ____________________________________________
This is why we can't have nice things!
*swoon* at DWM... such a BITCH! by Jack-n-the-Hat 04/27/2010
Submitted by snowpiece on Thu, 11/04/2010 - 9:08am
And yet, women line up around the block to just to have his sloppy 4,000ths. *shudders*
I know it's the baby payments. Hell, in this economy I guess this is the best option for a job. 18 years of free checks.
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He kinda reminds me of Ron Jeremy, but...not as classy! - Submitted by david Letterman
I have enough to re-name you Betty Crackwhore! - Submitted by TheBreakdown
Jack met Bill Clinton? The Big Dog? *faints from excitement, revives*
I have heard he is Charm and Charisma itself in person.
Submitted by DirtyWhoreMouth on Thu, 11/04/2010 - 9:21am.
Yeah snowy.. that's mississippi. In arkansas they dont' have teeth to make the T-sound in words.
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hahahahahahaa!! SERIOUSLY!? now you start in!?!!!
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"poor jacko, trying to struggle thru this world with one eye and the womenz just keep fucking his shit UP!" snowpiece 11/25/09
"Your appalling choice in women is well-known to us dlisters." Momus
Submitted by snowpiece on Thu, 11/04/2010 - 9:20am.
*flashes back to a phone convo I had with a hillbily high talker a few months ago*
OMGAHAHAHAHAHAH STILL MAKES ME LMAO!
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I WAS DRUNK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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"poor jacko, trying to struggle thru this world with one eye and the womenz just keep fucking his shit UP!" snowpiece 11/25/09
"Your appalling choice in women is well-known to us dlisters." Momus
Submitted by Evil_Cupcake on Thu, 11/04/2010 - 9:17am
Ah, but he is a "star" and they get to get away with shit that the rest of us can't. Don't be surprised to see him on the sizzurp with three strippers and a block of coke and the judge only gives him a tap on the wrist.
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He kinda reminds me of Ron Jeremy, but...not as classy! - Submitted by david Letterman
I have enough to re-name you Betty Crackwhore! - Submitted by TheBreakdown
Submitted by DirtyWhoreMouth on Thu, 11/04/2010 - 9:15am.
EPV it's computer cleaner.. if you don't have it go raid an office building. Let me knowif you can walk on sunshine.
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Computer cleaner?! Ohhhhh my gaaaaahhhhhd!
I was refinishing a furniture piece a couple weeks ago and went to buy spray paint. I did not get carded. Debbie Downer, WAWH WAWH-WAWH- WAWHHHHHHH.
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Submitted by Raul Duke: "Raul was going to ask the goblin how his butthole was but that look says it all!"
AH HA HA HA HA HAH A! LMFPO!
Also, at Allison's "Walking on Sunshine". That shit never gets old. In all seriousness, though, I loved her younger sister. What a cool kid.
Hurrah!
This rat/roach/Ewok hybrid is now free to procreate once more!
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Facebook: Triston Negreaux
http://www.myspace.com/triston
ask me how to subscribe to Heaux Confessionals©
Yeah snowy.. that's mississippi. In arkansas they dont' have teeth to make the T-sound in words.
:)
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This is why we can't have nice things!
*swoon* at DWM... such a BITCH! by Jack-n-the-Hat 04/27/2010
*flashes back to a phone convo I had with a hillbily high talker a few months ago*
OMGAHAHAHAHAHAH STILL MAKES ME LMAO!
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"I'M A VEGETARIAN. I DON'T INGEST SUFFERING"
snowbitch! we do not talk like that!!!!
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"poor jacko, trying to struggle thru this world with one eye and the womenz just keep fucking his shit UP!" snowpiece 11/25/09
"Your appalling choice in women is well-known to us dlisters." Momus
EPV it's computer cleaner.. if you don't have it go raid an office building. Let me knowif you can walk on sunshine.
____________________________________________
This is why we can't have nice things!
*swoon* at DWM... such a BITCH! by Jack-n-the-Hat 04/27/2010