FREE SNOOKITINA!!!!! (UPDATE: She's Free)
For those of you who have been hoping for a busted down jail beauty shot of Xtina looking like a drunk Hatchet Face with a mug full of runny mascara stains and gutter water, you just got your wish. Almost. TMZ reports that Xtina and her gold digging boyfriend Matthew Runtler were both arrested in West Hollywood this morning. Matthew was brought in for DUI and Xtina found herself in handcuffs for public intoxication. The details from the celebwhore police blotter:
Aguilera was arrested at 2:45 AM and booked at the West Hollywood Sheriff's substation on a misdemeanor charge. On the booking report, Aguilera was listed at 5'2" and 100 pounds.Aguilera's 25-year-old boyfriend Matthew Rutler was also arrested last night at the same time for a misdemeanor offense. According to the L.A. County Sheriff's Department, Rutler's bail was set at $30,000.
Law enforcement sources tell us Aguilera appeared to be "extremely intoxicated" and was "unable to take care of herself." However, the source adds, "If the driver had NOT been arrested for DUI, [Christina] would have never been in trouble."
Sources close to Xtina tell us they have been trying to get the singer into a rehab program for weeks.
100lbs?! 100lbs of red lip paint maybe! But really, public intoxication?! What kind of backwards world are we living in when a mouthy drunk ho can't be a full-on mouthy drunk ho in public?! There are so many other things they could've charged her with. Like felony robbery for thieving Snooki's look and act. They could've also charged her with eyebrow endangerment for not feeding those sickly, dusty and thirsty brows. But public intoxication?! I blame Lady Gaga.
UPDATE: Xtina was released this morning after officers decided that she was sober enough to take care of herself. The LAPD isn't going to press charges against her. Xtina's leased piece is still in custody.
Submitted by PinkTransAm on Tue, 03/01/2011 - 11:47am.
Frankly, I think he's trolling.
I mean, really, the whole month or so he's been on DListed, all he does is spew forth ignorant bullshit and make disgusting comments about women. Charlie Sheen is his idol but he'll be the first one to berate someone for their addiction/mental illness/emotional breakdowns otherwise. He never misses that opportunity with anyone else.
All he's here for is to stir shit, because he doesn't get enough of a reaction in an environment full of internet tough guys, so he panders to DListed instead.
†
"I'm the guardian of this land,
I'm Dracula, Prince of Walacchia.
My name is synonymous with fear and terror
which I sowed and grew and which I fed on."
-Opera IX (Under the Sign of the Red Dragon)
Submitted by ba-buttons on Tue, 03/01/2011 - 11:16am.
I've noticed your attitude toward Britney Spears and Drew Barrymore for being/once being "druggies" is quite inconsistent with your constant praise of Charlie Sheen, "sweetie". Charlie Sheen recently had his children taken out of custody. I'm sure that instead of you scorning him for being a grown man and "unable to take care of himself", you'll sympathize for him, huh?
After all, Britney Spears and Drew Barrymore are "trash" because they self-destructed without causing half the damage Charlie Sheen had, but it's all Kosher with Carlos Estevez because he's 40-something years old, going publicly mental, and has a record of violence...and you look up to that. Then that's totally cool, right? Right?!
So, are you that much of a hypocrite or do you need attention that badly?
†
"I'm the guardian of this land,
I'm Dracula, Prince of Walacchia.
My name is synonymous with fear and terror
which I sowed and grew and which I fed on."
-Opera IX (Under the Sign of the Red Dragon)
I watched Burlesque last night. Christina can't act but overall, I thought it was kind of a cute movie.
Totally could have shaved 30 minutes, though.
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Throw your soul through every open door
Count your blessings to find what you look for
Turn my sorrow in to treasured gold
You'll pay me back in kind and reap just what you've sown
-Adele
Saw this coming a mile away. Calculated downfall to revive a career; she's probably been planning this since Bionic flopped.
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Menage a NO! NO! NO!-MK
Not surprising.
Wonder what Bat Boy thinks of all this? Probably glad he doesn't have to deal with her shit anymore and bail her out.
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If you shoved a vuvuzela into a dog's ass and asked him to fart into a fan, the sound he produces would be more pleasant to the ears than this shit! - Michael K
Submitted by Who Datt on Tue, 03/01/2011 - 6:32pm.
Remember that old "Golden Girls" episode where Blanche mentioned that she weighed 100 pounds in college and Dorothy quipped: "Where did you go to school..the University Of Jupiter?"
LOL, good one. I also like the one where Blanche was complaining about a guy hitting on her in a department store while she was trying on dresses in the Ladies Petite section. Rose after listening to her long, braggy story, "What were you doing in Ladies Petite?"
Remember that old "Golden Girls" episode where Blanche mentioned that she weighed 100 pounds in college and Dorothy quipped: "Where did you go to school..the University Of Jupiter?"
The full keg she was sucking out of probably weighed less than one of her fingers. But I'm somewhat sympathetic. I mean, if I were her and faced a toe-tagged movie career, a flatlined music career, a disinterested public, an impending divorce, a gold-digging goldbrick f-buddy and a humiliating set of f-ups at awards shows and sports show, I'd be three sheets to the wind 24/7.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: karma is a bigger c*** that she will ever be.
LynD
CHRISTINA IS A HAS BEEN,... SHE IS FINISHED!
LOL AT MK CALLING HER BOYFRIEND A GOLD DIGGER!!!! HAHAHAAAA
I FEEL SORRY FOR HER SON.(AND BATBOY SOMEWHAT)
AND YES MK SNOOKI'S EYEBROWS SUCK I AGREE. I BEEN SAYING THAT FOREVER. THANK YOU.(AND KIM K'S TOO. UGLY AND MESSY)
THIS IS WHY IM A DLISTED SLUT WE ALL THINK ALIKE!!!!
AND LAST BUT NOT LEAST SAY IT WITH ME EVERYONE: THIS FAT BITCH HAS PUT ON WEIGHT RECENTLY ACCORDING TO WORD ON THE STREET AND (RECENT PICS) AND SHE IS NOT I SAID NOT!!! 100 POUNDS PUUULLLLEEEEZZZ!!!
FYI:
They don't actually weigh you when arrested, just take your word for it.
Therefore you can lie through your teeth & subtract 30+ lbs... as Xtina did.
.
Christina might as well spiral out of control. It did wonders for Britney's career.
I still think there's something calculated about this. Even with her meltdown mess, Britney sold a lot more albums than Christina, and now that Gaga's topped her in the crazy outfit department, bitch has to do something to stay in the public eye. I believe the self-destruction is real, but it's like she said "Fuck it, I might as well just party my ass off because cleaning myself up didn't do shit."
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Silly rabbit.
All the Disney kids seem to know the best drinking games.
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"I still wouldn't..." - Satan
"However, the source adds, "If the driver had NOT been arrested for DUI, [Christina] would have never been in trouble."
And this is why all these hollyweird hotshots feel they're so untouchable... it's always someone else's fault. Grow up people!!! Take responsibility for your own actions for god's sake!!!
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It sounds like I'll need to be drunk, stoned and suffering from a minor concussion to deal with this fuckery. MK - November 2008
Submitted by sugar free on Tue, 03/01/2011 - 12:03pm.
hmm, interesting. new york driver licenses don't require your weight.
i wonder why that is necessary in other states?
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No weight or height on Florida licenses either.
Submitted by M.E. on Tue, 03/01/2011 - 11:22am.
Where is her kid through all this. We haven't seen her with him in like, forever. Did batboy take her custody away?
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Christina & Jordan have agreed to share custordy of Max - without the help of the courts.
The last time Christina was seen was Max was Feb 14th, when she took him to Legoland.
Say what you want about her drinking - I'm just glad she she doesn't use Max for photo ops everyday, like some celeb "parents" do.
Burlesque. It Takes A Legend, To Make A Star 2010
I'm just relieved to know that if I ever get arrested they'll believe my version of what I weigh and won't make me get on a scale.
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"Tes sourcils sont moches!!"
(Translated:"Your eyebrows are ugly!"~ An emotional John Galliano, upon spying a less than perfect pair of brows in a café.
Man, between the chunking up & the breaking down, this isn't going to end well with Aguilera.
-.-
The internet, where the men are real men,
the women are real men, and the children are the FBI.
sugar free - NJ licenses don't list weight, either. I guess because 1. It could change over the course of 4 years. 2. People will lie.
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I refreshed the page and my PENIS WAS GONE! -- SugarFreeRedBull, MicroPenis Advocate
you mean no mug shot??
and i just thought about it, wasn't her father a drunk? maybe this is something genetic.
Britney and Christina's lives have mirrored each other since the Mickey Mouse Club days. They must be linked in karmic heaven.
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Visit my husband's webcomic DUNGEON HORDES at http://www.drunkduck.com/dungeon_hordes
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i wonder if she breaks out in song when she gets wasted. i would pay to see that. but in all seriousness this is not a good look for her, especially w/ her being the mother to a small child.
Does this fat cameltoed cunt from hell even remember she has a son?
What if a drunk driver knocks down and kills her son?
Fuck that fat bitch.
Submitted by PinkTransAm on Tue, 03/01/2011 - 12:00pm.
If I see one more comment about her weight, I am going to break out my scale and come to each of your houses to see if you all match the stated weight on your drivers license.
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Well I will admit I lied like a rug on mine. I even asked the little guy behind the counter when he asked me my weight if I could lie. He just chuckled and said "you wouldn't be the first one that did."
Submitted by fishsticksfan on Tue, 03/01/2011 - 10:29am.
That's what makes me wonder whether she's was mixing booze and pills. Because with booze, you can drink until you throw up and pass out but with pills/other drugs, you can keep going.
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Could be. They painted her as quite the mess. I really hope she doesn't go all Whitney and ruin her voice. Of all the Disney twats that came out around the same time as she did... SHE is the one who has the true God given awesome voice.Without the auto tune.
I definitely shave pounds off, no matter who asks me, unless I'm at the doctor, and then I cringe and pretend IT'S MUSCLE!
Good. I still like Christina (dodges tomatoes) and I hope that this is the wake-up call she needs to get her ass in gear. It does sound like she had a mental breakdown of sorts after her divorce.
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"I'm like a tree, I feed the branches of the people." - Kanye West
See, this is why I don't even own a damn scale. Again, yet another way society wants us to "measure" ourselves up to god knows what.
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"Skeptical scrutiny is the means, in both science and religion, by which deep insights can be winnowed from deep nonsense. Somewhere, something incredible is waiting to be known." - Carl Sagan
Seriously...I lie out my ass about my weight on my driver's license and I'd lie out my ass to a cop about my weight if I got arrested. Who doesn't shave a few pounds off??
Now if it were Kim Kong Kardashian stating her weight as 100lbs and her size as a "00" during a booking, I could see the outrage. Xtina's just doing what we all do.
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19 Cats and Counting!
THE FULL RELEASE LOOP
What the underlying loop inside all of this really is
1974 someone used satellite time and brain cephalics (same thing), to view me, in 19764
The sound of the BR
hmm, interesting. new york driver licenses don't require your weight.
i wonder why that is necessary in other states?
If I see one more comment about her weight, I am going to break out my scale and come to each of your houses to see if you all match the stated weight on your drivers license. Height also, for the men.
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Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn
Lol @ onesage.
"not so fast tom ryan..."
100 lbs? maybe 5 years ago Xtina. She's a good 120 now!
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give me one reason to stay here, and I'll turn right back around
well I don't want to leave you lonely, but you gotta make me change my mind
-Tracy Chapman
I really want to see her mug shot.
"not so fast tom ryan..."
http://www.buzzfeed.com/mjs538/christina-aguileras-mugshot
mugshot - from Ophelia
I can't take anymore of this madness. First Lindsay, than Charlie's meltdown, now Xtina arrested??!! What next, are you going to tell me my girl Amy Winehouse drinks! If it wasn't for knowing Ralph Macchio was on DWTS, I would just end it all.
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I've written a letter to MK...saying...I...love...youuuuuu.
Submitted by ba-buttons on Tue, 03/01/2011 - 11:16am.
Haven't you ever looked at her eyes? She has looked mental to me since the first day that I saw her.
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Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn
Submitted by muffintops on Tue, 03/01/2011 - 11:28am.
5'2 and 100 pounds my ASS. i'm 4'11 - 110 pounds and look way skinnier than her new chunky mess.
That reads really funny in light of your lovely avie.
Yeah, I wanna see the mugshot!
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I'm not a slut, I'm sexually liberated. There's a difference.
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They do not weigh you when you are arrested. They get the information of the DL.
Mugshots or it didn't happen...
_____________________对您的和平_____________________
Welcome to Chazzers World...It's all about winning, you losers...
And no, they don't weigh you when they arrest you. Er, at least that's what I hear.
It's Hollywood. Once she gets her act together, instead of being a fuck-up who cleaned up her shit, she'll be a hero who overcame a great challenge.
Well, did they weigh her when they arrested her? Maybe the info came from her driver's license, and was accurate when it was issued. There is no way she's 100 right now.
And I think Jordan should get custody of their son, at least temporarily. I know these people have responsible (I hope) nannies/babysitters round the clock, but BatBoy Jr. needs a stable parent. He's getting to the age where he knows there's something wrong with mommy.
Submitted by suckandfuck on Tue, 03/01/2011 - 10:00am.
Submitted by kanderso on Tue, 03/01/2011 - 9:48am.
All through my 20s, I have been slowing down year by year.
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aka "I'm a gay loser quitter" go take a nap grandma
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*sets knitting down on lap and turns down volume on television stories*
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
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"Hooooooty who give an eff about Haiti?! I don't! BAM!" - MK as Taylor Momsen
Maybe they won't prosecute, but I can't imagine this will bode well for her custody issues.
5'2 and 100 pounds my ASS. i'm 4'11 - 110 pounds and look way skinnier than her new chunky mess.
Submitted by snowpiece on Tue, 03/01/2011 - 10:36am.
wasn't she supposed to be gayelle for a minute there or did I dream that?
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Yeah, supposedly she was contacting SamRo when Linds was visiting Betty.
Submitted by fishsticksfan on Tue, 03/01/2011 - 11:18am.
Submitted by caprica six on Tue, 03/01/2011 - 11:07am.
What's her bloodlust with excessive clown makeup? It's fking driving me batshit.
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I'll take it because I shudder to think what is below it.
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Fishsticks, damn good point. You made me imagine it and what I see is the face of one of those aliens at the end of the Close Encounters movies. Except she'd be the chunky, drunk, falling down short-bus/ufo in the back of the ufo messing with the dials and shit or something.
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"Skeptical scrutiny is the means, in both science and religion, by which deep insights can be winnowed from deep nonsense. Somewhere, something incredible is waiting to be known." - Carl Sagan