Pure sea jasper, Red Bull, fake tanner, a Baccarat crack pipe, leggings with secret crotch pockets for stolen jewelry, Fix-A-Flat lip injections and the hole in the California Justice System she keeps fucking raw are just a few of the loves of Lindsay Lohan's life and you can add a kicking and screaming Heath Ledger to that list whether he likes it or not. Star Magazine (via Radar) somehow magically found Lindsay Lohan's private diaries in their paws and they may or may not have signed a scribbled contract on a T.G.I. Friday's cocktail napkin stating that they will not disclose that White Oprah sold it them for a few Mohegan Sun gambling chips and a grey goose. (Nobody tell White Oprah that contrary to what the drunk she gave a handy to in the parking lot told her, vodka does not come from the pee hole of a grey goose.)
In an entry from Memoirs of a Cokey dated January 22, 2008, LiLo cries about how she'll never feel Heath's touch again.
"Today Heath died. I’m in love with him…. He was the love of my life. He taught me so much, and he was everything I’ve ever wanted and more. I want to hear him laugh and hold me. I crave his touch and care.”
Shortly after Heath's death, both White Oprah and Michael Lohan claimed that LiLo was dating him and was supposed to fly to NYC to be with him just days after he overdosed. I think the coroner should update Heath's death certificate to read, "Cause of Death: Lindsay Lohan was about to visit him."
Blohan writes in other entries that she was having an affair with JFK, couldn't wait to start filming Something's Gotta Give, and suspected that her housekeeper was an undercover CIA agent who was lacing her barbiturates with arsenic. So all of this should be taken with a grain of coke.
Lindsay Lohan was doing down-low sexy times with Heath Ledger right before he died. That's what White Oprah claims anyway in a yet another taped phone conversation released by the savior of all saviors Michael Lohan. White Oprah is always dropping those names. And the hits just keep coming out of Michael's swollen ass mouth.
Radar posted the conversation between White Oprah and Michael Lohan. As usual, you don't hear Michael's voice and the whole thing was probably edited using the 1999 version of Quicktime on a Mac Clamshell. In the clip, White Oprah burps that Heath Ledger's death really fucked her daughter up because they were dating at the time, "And she was dating Heath when he died. I don't know if you know that, but I know cause I would drop her off and they were friends very, very close, ok?"
White Oprah adds that she's scared that what happened to Heath Ledger could happen to LiLo, because she can't control herself around booze and Adderall. White Oprah also believes that LiLo can't quit her partner in pussy SamRo, because of her problems with addiction, "It's very easy for a rational person to say. But for an irrational person who has a problem with her DNA and alcohol and Adderall and asthma and every other things she's got wrong with her."
And there's a bit that Michael Lohan probably forgot to erase in post-edit, because he was too busy dry humping one of his turtlenecks (you know he has a turtleneck fetish). White Oprah said that whenever LiLo's at home with her, she's too scared to sleep by herself, "She cannot be alone. When she sleeps here she sleeps with me... she has fears from being little and what you did to us."
In the next tape, White Oprah will reveal that LiLo was making a record with Michael Jackson at the time of his death. Oh, and right before Billy Mays went off to the giant infomercial in the sky, she wants in talks to be the new face of OxiClean. You know, because she's such a fan of the Oxies.
What I want to know is, when is Dr. Drew going to produce a family version of Celebrity Rehab for the Lohans? They all need it. Well, all of them except for Nana Lohan. She's the silent voice of reason in this mess. I just picture her shaking her head while holding her glass of Metamucil.
The sneaky troll known as Mary-Kate Olsen isn't getting away that easy! This past August the U.S. Attorney's office closed the case regarding Heath Ledger's death which meant that the Olsen troll didn't have to testify. Well, Heath's insurance company ReliaStar now wants to speak to her. Like any typical insurance company, ReliaStar (owned by ING) is trying to find ways to get out of paying Heath's $10 million policy. The insurance whores are investigating the possiblity that Heath committed suicide which would void the policy. Heath's death was officially ruled as an accidental overdose.
A lawyer for Heath's estate is now suing the company for being cheap bitches and nosy skanks. ReliaStar responded to the lawsuit by saying they are "entitled to investigate Plaintiff's claim to determine if the 'Suicide' provision is applicable." They also claim that Heath lied on the policy application about whether he was taking prescription pills.
ReliaStar wants to talk to the troll to find out what she knows about Heath's death. If the feds can't get to her, what makes ReliaStar think they can? They can bring her a fresh plate of roasted chipmunk bones and boiled frog warts, but she's not opening her lips! The only time she opens her mouth is to say "prune."
I hope they do catch her, though. I hear her wicked snicker in the middle of the night and I know she's just laughing at all of us! Your day is coming, troll!
Source: NY Post
This pic is too fucking much. Arthur the Aardvark glasses AND she's saying "prune"? She needs to go in a dark corner and finish feasting on her meal of wet crackers and spider legs. Ho, sit down!
The New York Post reports that Mary-Kate Olsen has refused to talk to the feds about Heath Ledger's death unless they grant her immunity. Someone has been watching Law & Order...
MK's masseuse was one of the first people to find Heath. She immediately called MK. Instead of calling 911, MK sent her bodyguards over to Heath's apartment.
A source said that the feds have already interviewed everyone from Heath's doctors and housekeepers to Michelle Williams. MK is the only one who is refusing to talk to them. The feds want to know where Heath got a hold of OxyContin. All the other drugs found in his system were legally obtained using prescriptions from his doctors. The source said, "Did it come from a dealer, from a friend? If he had a bottle from a friend, was it taken by someone else before police responded? That is what is trying to be determined."
Federal officials might try and get a grand-jury subpoena to get the troll to talk.
You can go to jail for giving someone OxyContin? I mean, that's the only reason MK would ask for immunity, right? She gave Heath OxyContin and she thinks she's too precious for the chokey. She has nothing to be worried about. Celebrities hardly go to jail. Besides, even if she did go to prison, she's small enough to escape through a hole in the wall or squeeze herself through the bars. If that doesn't work, she can get her woodland creature friends to bust her out.
Heath Ledger's memorial and funeral was held in Australia on Saturday. His memorial was attended by hundreds including Michelle Williams, Gemma Ward, Rose Byrne and Cate Blanchett. Ben Harper performed a song written for Heath, Michelle and their daughter. Cate gave the eulogy and they also played Heath's favorite songs. The funeral was only attended by 10 people, his close family, and Michelle read a Shakespearean sonnet.
The day ended with everyone gathering at one of Heath's favorite beaches where they jumped into the ocean and watched the sun set.
Rest in peace, Heath Ledger...
Heath Ledger's cause of death has been ruled as an accidental overdose by the NYC medical examiner. The office issued this statement:
"Mr. Heath Ledger died as the result of acute intoxication by the combined effects of oxycodone, hydrocodone, diazepam, temazepam, alprazolam, and doxylamine. We have concluded that the manner of death is accident, resulting from the abuse of prescription medications."
That's a lot of fucking pills!
Heath's private funeral is expected to take place in Perth, Australia this Saturday.
Rest in Peace, Heath.....
UPDATE: His family issued this statement:
We remain humble as parents and a family, among millions of people worldwide who may have suffered the tragic loss of a child. Few can understand the hollow, wrenching, and enduring agony parents silently suffer when a child predeceases them. Today's results put an end to speculation, but our son's beautiful spirit and enduring memory will forever remain in our hearts.
While no medications were taken in excess, we learned today the combination of doctor-prescribed drugs proved lethal for our boy. Heath's accidental death serves as a caution to the hidden dangers of combining prescription medication, even at low dosage.
Our family enjoyed an extremely happy two week visit with Heath just prior to the New Year. Those recent precious days will stay with us forever. We as a family feel privileged to have some of his amazing magic moments captured in film. To most of the world Heath was an actor of immeasurable talent and promise. To those who knew him personally, Heath was a consummate artist whose passions also included photography, music, chess and directing. We knew Heath as a loving father, as our devoted son, and as a loyal and generous brother and friend.
We treasure our beautiful granddaughter Matilda (to our dear Michelle) as well as an unbelievably wonderful network of close friends, forever, around the world. Families rarely experience the uplifting, warm and massive outpouring of grief and support as have we, from every corner of the planet. This has deeply and profoundly touched our hearts and lives. We are eternally grateful.
At this moment we respectfully request the worldwide media allow us time to grieve privately, without the intrusions associated with press and photography.
The police want to speak with Mary-Kate Olsen about those mysterious phone calls with her masseuse reports The National Enquirer. The police have confirmed to the Associated Press that the masseuse that found Heath Ledger, Diana Wolozin, placed 4 phone calls to Mary-Kate. It was reported earlier that she only placed 2. Diana called MK several times during a span of 9-minutes before she called 911. Police say they found the additional calls when they went over Heath's phone records. Diana called from his phone.
It's believed that Diana called MK, because she was afraid of causing a scene. MK sent over her private security detail, one of them is an EMT, to Heath's apartment.
Police want to ask MK about the calls and why she sent her security detail over instead of calling 911. DUH! She was afraid of causing some shit. There's also several rumors that MK and Heath were secretly dating, but what does that matter?
Also PageSix.com reports that Diana wasn't licensed to perform massage therapy. Performing massage therapy without a license is a felony, which is punishable by up to four years in prison. Dirty Diana. No wonder she didn't want to call the police.
UPDATE: Scratch all that. The police don't give a fuck about talking to MK. They issued a statement saying they aren't going to question her.
Heath Ledger's rep has announced that there will be no Public service for Heath. There was talks of a public service, but this isn't going to happen. There's rumors that he's going to be buried in Perth and that there's going to be a memorial service in Los Angeles, but none of this has been confirmed. I'm pretty sure it won't be confirmed. His family wants to keep things private. They probably don't want any live feeds or anything like that outside of Heath's funeral. His family have also written messages in the West Australian newspaper that were published today.
His mother wrote:
Our darling boy, special in so many ways to all of us. You knew you were so loved. You lived life with courage and daring and we are so grateful for the wonderful times we shared. We will be there for Matilda.
His father wrote:
My beautiful boy, so loving, so talented, so independent, so caring, so young . . . no more chess games mate . . . this is it, couldn't beat you anyway!
My body aches for the sound of your voice, our chats, our laughs and our life and times together.
Your truly varied artistic skills, insatiable desire to improve and eclectic abilities set you apart from any other person on the planet . . . it had only just started for you ... and for us to further enjoy. We were one, in soul and commitment. Just . . . Father and Son. I will love you forever, Dad.
UsWeekly reports that production on Heath Ledger's film "The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus" has completely shut down and crew members were let go. Heath was photographed above on the London set this past weekend. Production had moved to Vancouver this week where they were going to start blue-screen work for the next few months.
A source said, "We were supposed to start this weekend, but obviously they fired everyone today. They don't know yet what they are doing with the footage that was already shot."
Terry Gillian was directing the $30 million film. It also starred Tom Waits, Christopher Plummer and Lily Cole. It's the story of an ancient travelling show which arrives in modern London with a magical mirror that can transport its audience into fantastical realms of the imagination. Christopher played the title role and Heath played a mysterious outsider.
This isn't the first movie that has completely shut down for Terry. In 2000 production shut down on The Man Who Killed Don Quote starring Johnny Depp after one of the stars fell ill.
Heath was also working on making his directorial debut on "The Queen's Gambit." Ellen Page was in talks to take the lead role.
Warner Bros. has announced that The Dark Knight will keeps its release date of July 18th. Sources say that marketing was going to revolve around Heath's character, so that is being reworked.
The producers of Imaginarium have yet to issue a statement about the film's future, but you can guarantee it's done. Heath's involvement helped get most of the film's financing together.
CNN reports that Heath Ledger's autopsy was inconclusive. An autopsy was conducted this morning, but further tests are required to determine his cause of death. The medical examiner said it will take about 10 days.
Even more messages of condolences have poured in from celebrities:
"Actors need other actors to be inspired by. He was my actor. My feeling about Heath is that I don't want to lose him at any age – 28 or 88. ... He's a real valuable guy. So I'm truly sorry and my heart goes out to everyone that knew him and loved him. I would give back all my awards to have him back." - John Travolta (I'm biting my tongue. I think I bit it off.)
"I was on my way over to pay him a visit when I found out. I had just left him a message and heard his voice on the machine. He was such a special and genuine person, so extraordinarily talented because he was so raw and honest with his feelings." - Helena Christensen
"I am shocked and very saddened by the news. I deeply respect Heath's work and always admired his continuing development as an artist. My thoughts are with his family and his close friends" - Cate Blanchett
"This is such a sad event. I admired Heath enormously. He was such a sensitive and committed and daring actor. This truly is a tragedy." - Geoffrey Rush
Heath Ledger's family also spoke to the media and issued this statement:
"We, Heath's family, confirm, the very tragic, untimely and accidental passing of our dearly loved son, brother and doting father of Matilda. He was found peacefully asleep in his New York apartment by his housekeeper at 3:30 p.m. U.S. time.
We would like to thank our friends and everyone around the world for their well wishes and kind thoughts at this time. Heath has touched so many people on so many different levels during his short life but few had the pleasure of truly knowing him.
He was a down to earth, generous, kind-hearted, life-loving and selfless individual who was extremely inspirational to many. Please now respect our families need to grieve and come to terms with our loss privately."