Glamberace

Tuesday, June 9th 2009

Glamberace's Shocking Revelation!

Glamberace smokes pot! SHOCKING! MIND-BOGGLING! ........And he also likes a giant peen with his morning coffee.

This is the big "NO SHIT" issue of Rolling Stone where Glamberace reveals that he's as gay as....well...as Glamberace. I mean, butterflies flutter into his peen hole! I'm gayer than a Rooty Tooty breakfast and butterflies don't fly into my peen hole! And why is that snake having a conversation with Glamberace's magic stick? Or is it trying to get a piece?

So Glamberace says that he decided to wait to come out, because he felt doing it on the cover of Rolling Stone would be "cooler." Glamberace puckered his precious lips and said, “I don’t think it should be a surprise for anyone to hear that I’m gay. Right after the finale, I almost started talking about it to the reporters, but I thought, ‘I’m going to wait for Rolling Stone, that will be cooler.' I didn’t want the Clay Aiken thing and the celebrity-magazine bullshit. I need to be able to explain myself in context (ed note: NO YOU DIDN'T, GURRRRL!). I’m proud of my sexuality. I embrace it. It’s just another part of me. I’m trying to be a singer, not a civil rights leader."

You can thank some kind of mood-altering drug for leading the glittery unicorn to American Idol. Glamberace said he had a “psychedelic experience” at Burning Man which made him realize that Idol was the quickest way for him to be taken seriously in the music industry.

He didn't want to declare his gayness while competing on Idol, because he wanted the focus to remain on his talent and not the fact that he likes dick. Glammy added, "I'm an entertainer, and who I am and what I do in my personal life is a separate thing. it shouldn't matter. Except it does. It's really confusing."

And there you go. Glamberace is gay. The world keeps spinning. Well, not my world, because I'm still kind of upset that butterflies don't fly into my no-no. Maybe I need to drizzle a little hummingbird juice on it?

Posted by: Michael K
Friday, June 5th 2009

Quween Saves Another One!

There was another battle in a parking lot in Beverly Hills today! A group of "pos-a-rassi" swarmed a helpless glittery unicorn who was just trying to find his way! Thankfully, out of nowhere the defender of all celebwhores swooped in to save him! When you have Quween by your side, you know you will make it out alive! You also know that you will probably get into your car with your wallet and Blackberry missing, but you can buy it back at Quween's weekend sidewalk sale! Do these bitches expect her to work for free?! Rocks don't buy themselves!

Below is a clip of Quween rescuing Glamberace today. You might want to pop a Dramamine if you decide to hit play. And I think I have those same jeans Glamberace is wearing. Hmmm...anybody in the mood for a trash can bonfire tonight?



Posted by: Michael K
Tuesday, June 2nd 2009

Face! Face! Face! I Give Face! Beauty! Face!

Glamberace's partner in peen is trying to kill us with his *fierceness*!!! Sasha Fierce, go take a nap, because the real diva of the world has officially arrived and he brought his A GAME! Look at that bitch working the pap trail like he's on the catwalk of RuPaul's Drag Race! Git it, gurlfwend! Show us who farts the most glitter in that relationship.

You know, Glamberace is supposed to grace the cover of Rolling Stone's "No Fucking Duh" issue in August, but methinks his boyfriend is the one who needs to be doing all the posing for the cameras. With a face like that, he should be on every cover. If Shia LaBeouf and a gay-faced bobcat from the 1980s had a meth baby..... Stun. Ning.

Here's a little video of the magical unicorn leading a ferocious pixie through the mob of paps in West Hollywood last night.



Posted by: Michael K
Friday, May 29th 2009

Ga-Ga-Ga-Ga-Gaaaaay Fight!

Pop the poppers and heat the oil, because the biggest homo fight since Gay Al vs. Star Jones is about to go down! Remember when Gayken got all cunty and said Glamberace's performance of "Ring of Fire" made his ears bleed (but his b-lips tingle)? Well, Glamberace finally let the bitch out of the bag and responded during an interview with Access Hollywood. YES! YES!

The Glittery Prince of the Unicorns said, "I don't know Clay. I'm glad he's getting headlines now though, because he wasn't before. If he wants to ride my coattails about it, good for him."

Note to Gayken: Glamberace didn't mean the last part LIKE THAT, so wipe the scented Vaseline off your carrot and gerbil hole.

And I hope Glamberace likes Premarin in his eyes, because the Claymates are out for the blood of a unicorn! They already have to deal with desert vagina and now THIS! It's not going to be purdy.

Posted by: Michael K
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