YouTubes

This is serious. The inmates at Cebu Prison in the Philippines became world famous after their awesome version of "Thriller" hit the internet a couple of years ago. After they heard about the death of Michael Jackson on Thursday, they immediately stopped doing each other in the shower room and started rehearsing for a tribute dance to him.

They practiced late into the night on Friday just so they could debut it today. Their asses even have costumes and props! This is big budget! This makes me wants to dress as a nun and join in.

One of the inmates told The Associated Press that Michael Jackson "inspired us, so we are all sad about his death."

VIA HuffPo

This video of a little boy high on the legal good shit after leaving the dentist has been making the internet rounds, because kids are funny! And they are magic! But honestly, I think this is most of us every weekend. How many times have you said to yourself "Is this real life?" and "Is this going to be forever?" This kid is inside my brain.

And the dad is being a total buzz kill by constantly asking, "Are you feeling good?" Shut up and just let it roll!

VIA Boing Boing

John McCain was supposed to sit with David Letterman last night, but he called in at the last minute to cancel because he had to fly to the capital to deal with our broke down economy. A little while into the show after Letterman and Keith Olbermann talked about McCain suspending his campaign and other shit, Letterman was told that McCain was not on a plane bound for DC, but in a studio down the street with Katie Couric. Letterman cut to a live feed of McCain talking with Katie and said, "Do you need a ride to the airport?!"

Oh shit. This reminds me of the time that I called in sick to the night shift at my old job. I told them I was practically dying and couldn't get out of bed. Well, a couple of hours later I ran into one of my bosses at the gay bar. HA! I was stuttering so fucking much, I sounded like I had Tourettes. I kind of just shrugged, said I felt better and told him I thought a Hot Toddy would cure my illness. I was drinking vodka. That's when I excused myself from the bar and never went back to that job again.

What are you doing this weekend? I know what I'm doing. I'm totally going to the Jersey Shore to party with these amazing individuals. The Dirty went to Jersey to do a casting call for a new show called "Guido Beach."

If you've got a dirty vagina or asshole, watch all 7-minutes of it. You will walk away squeaky clean thanks to the douche overload in this shit. The saddest part is that I'd probably do sexy times with 100% of these dick bags.

Brendan, I'd hit it. Dino, I'd hit it. Krystel, I'd hit it. Mike, I'd hit it. Jon, I'd hit it. Jen, I'd definitely hit it.

Seriously, Jen and her mother are the hottest bitches in this mess! Fast forward to around the 5-minute mark to watch them in all their douche glory. Jen's ex-boyfriend's new chick shows up and well....you'll see. At the end, one douche perfectly sums it up by saying, "That's gold! That's liquid gold!" Damn right it is!

Thanks kdracofan

Please go to your piggy bank, smash it to the ground, collect all the coins and immediately send them to YouTube Superstar Tricia Walsh-Smith aka Crazy Eyes. She got screwed in court yesterday! Even her crazy eyes are upset! Look at them. They are frowning.

Some stupid ass judge ruled that Tricia must get her crazy eyes out of the Park Avenue apartment she shared with her husband, Philip Smith. Even worse, Crazy Eyes will only get a lump sum of $750,000, the amount she agreed to in a prenup. She didn't know what she was signing! Her crazy eyes were acting up that day.

The judge also said that Crazy Eyes' infamous YouTube rants humiliated her husband and caused him great pain including heart issues. Oh please! He's acting! He is in showbusiness! The judge went on to say, "The posting of the defendant's first YouTube video was a watershed event in this marriage, elevating what was still primarily a private dispute into a public spectacle."

Crazy Eyes plans to appeal. She told the Post, "I thought it sucked. I'd be better off in Baghdad. President Bush is bringing democracy to Iraq. He should try bringing it to New York. I'm going to go down swinging."

$750,000?! That's not even enough money for her yearly supply of Visine! Crazy Eyes is poor and this angers me. Does Philip expect her to live on the streets, or worse - a studio apartment?!

Grab the popcorn and Fanta, because you know this insane bitch is going to deliver the performance of a lifetime on her next YouTube masterpiece. She's the Tallulah Bankhead of YouTube!

Thanks Allen

This is the video for Jessica Simpson's extremely annoying cuntry single "Come On Over." Yeah, I'll come on over to slap the shit out of that big-tittied frog. At the beginning of the video, I kept waiting for the words "Meet Singles In Your Area Tonight" to pop up on the screen.

The rest of the video is pretty cliche. Jessica in a pick-up truck. Jessica sitting on the porch. She forgot the cowboy hat and line dancing.

This song seriously make my ears cry. That could be a good thing actually. Cleans out the wax!

Source

YouTube superstar Tricia Walsh-Smith brought her own brand of crazy to a NYC court room yesterday. On day one of her divorce trial to Philip Smith, Tricia took the stand and claimed the only mean thing she ever did to her husband was " put skim milk in his cappuccino."

Tricia's crazy ass seemed to forget going on YouTube and telling the world she found a box of Viagra and porn belonging to him. She also said they never fucked.

The NY Post reports Philip's lawyer played several crazy voicemails left by Tricia to her husband. In one message, Tricia told her husband, "I will cut your balls off and have them for breakfast." Hmm...this is what Madge tells Guy every night before bedtime.

Crazy Eyes defended herself by saying she's "entitled to get angry and have an opinion." She also said she only went on YouTube because Philip kicked her out of their apartment. "I basically did it so somebody would help me," she said. And thank God she did.

Here's Crazy Eyes living up to her nickname as she arrived in court yesterday.

What better way to start your weekend than by learning how to queef on command! You'll be the star at all your weekend parties. Seriously, the good hos at Jezebel posted this instructional video from "Stace Hole." This ho's vagina should audition for the NYC Opera.

I'm not going to lie. She has major skills, but I can ass queef Beethoven's entire Symphony No. 5. Can she? Yeah, I thought not.

Thanks Peaches

The batshit horny CEO of Ryan Air, a cheap ass airline in the UK and Europe, held a press conference for the media to talk about boring plane shit. When the CEO was asked about the new configuration of their planned fleet, he responded, "So in economy it will be very cheap fares. Say 10 euros. And in business class it will be beds and blowjobs. In economy. In business, it will all be free including the blowjobs."

Damn! Is their HEAD flight attendant Wonky McValtrex? Seriously, this highly-inappropriate bitch is my new favorite person. I mean, he's just being competitive. ATA's seats made you feel like you've just been fucked in the ass.

Video is above and his "blowjob" promise is at the 45 second mark.

Thanks Kathleen

Today is turning out to be a sexy day. First there was La Pequena naked in a dirty ass tub and now here's Dreamboat Doherty washing his privates. He does this about once a year. The bathroom probably smells like rotten bong water. And that contaminated water is going back into the London sewers for the rats to drink. There's going to be some fucked up rats roaming the streets looking for a hit.

The sweet pussy at the beginning of the clip is trying to speak to us with his eyes. He's saying, "Heeeeeelp meeeee..." Hopefully, sweet pussy ate that suspicious looking leaf-thing off the filthy carpet and now he's on cloud fucking nine, forgetting his troubles.

Below is another clip of Dreamy talking about.....hell if I know! I'm not fluent in crackie-talk!

Thanks Mari